Are you with me so far? I bet you thought I forgot about #GreenPotatoGate. Maybe you had, and wish I had. I think this may be it, as I’m never going to get a full response from Giant Eagle, and I did get some coupons! First, are you all caught up?
Had enough? Of course you haven’t. Read on, brave soldiers for spuds and titans for tubers!
As promised, I did receive some coupons from Tasteful Selections. Way to stand behind their products! There was a cool ingredient card too, so I may check that out. I do like purple potatoes.
Giant Eagle reached out with a DM on Twitter, then nothing. 🦗🦗🦗
Hmm. @GiantEagle still hasn't replied about these @SideDelights potatoes… even though Side Delights has. They cite improper handling by the big bird. All I get are crickets, no chirps, tweets, or even screeches.
That was anti-climactic. They didn’t comment on the maze or the green potatoes.
I did, however, get one super awesome response to a positive message that I sent out about some potatoes from The Little Potato Compnay that I bought at Shop ‘n Save. I reached out like this:
From: Me <me@nunya.biz> Date: Sun, Jan 1, 2023 at 10:44 PM Subject: Thank you for a great product! 🥔 To: <feedback@littlepotatoes.com>
Salutations Spud Specialists!
I just wanted to reach out to thank you for your tremendous tiny tubers, or your perfect potatoes if you will.
Saturday I picked up a bag of the Terrific Trio style spuds from Shop ‘n Save in Heidelberg, PA, …and they were all fantastic.
You may think it’s odd to be so elated with a perfect product, but lately I have been on a crusade of sorts as I feel that nearly ¼ of all my purchased potatoes are green and arguably poisonous. Albeit very slightly poisonous.
I eat a lot of potatoes. So I buy a lot of potatoes. It seems like no one is immune to the great greening that has taken place iver the last few years. Yours were absolutely delicious though.
If you would like a window to my spiral into spud shenanigans, please feel free to catch the saga as it has unfolded so far at my blog:
I’m sure that I’m up to at least 2 readers semi-regulartly that aren’t me or AI bots. Well, I think.
I draw mazes. I sent mazes to some of your competitors as a means to get their attention, and perhaps stand out among all rhe other missives.
I am sending them you you as a thank you. Please, enjoy them and pass them along to your potato people! I would love if you got a chuckle out of them and if you took the time to try them out.
I really appreciate your multiple avenues of contact, prominently displayed right on the packaging, and a super easy to navigate website. I need to poke around the recipes!
I hope the new year brings you many new opportunities, great joy, & happiness.
Auld Lang Syne
-Eric
PS – Also attached is a photo collage of breakfast home fries with those fantastic tri-color delicious beauties.
And attached this photo (along with my potato mazes):
And I got this response:
From: Feedback feedback@littlepotatoes.com Date: Tue, Jan 3, 2023 at 12:21 PM Subject: RE: Thank you for a great product! 🥔 To: Me me@nunya.biz
Hi Eric,
Thank you so much for the aMAZEing feedback! I’m glad you enjoyed your Terrific Trio home fries!
Well. The garden plot thickens. Or something. I have a few more potato-related emails. All signs point to the grocery stores being at fault, and funnily enough the grocery stores have not replied, at all.
This happened, and we got a refund from Instacart. It’s not green potatoes, but they definitely weren’t ready to just toss into the crock pot with a roast.
If you’re wondering what the hell I am talking about, you must have missed the saga as it uprooted…
Thank you for reaching out. It’s always great to meet another potato enthusiast! As you may know, while we don’t represent any one brand, Potatoes USA works on behalf of more than 2,000 potato growers and handlers across the country to promote the benefits of eating potatoes. We’re happy to provide general feedback, and the individual brands and retailers can tell you more about their practices.
As far as green potatoes go, you’re correct that the color signifies the build-up of solanine. It’s a natural reaction to the potato being exposed to too much light. If there’s slight greening, you can cut away those green portions before cooking and eating. Generally speaking, you’re unlikely to ingest enough solanine to do you any harm.
However, I know you’re a potato skin fan (and rightly so). One bit of good news on the nutrition front is that the only nutrient significantly lost when the skin is removed is fiber. (A medium (5.3 oz) potato contains 2 grams of fiber with the skin and 1 gram of fiber without the skin.) Potassium and vitamin C are found predominantly in the flesh.
Potato growers take a number of steps to reduce greening, including maintaining enough soil cover over potatoes in the field and storing harvested potatoes in facilities with minimal light.
If you aren’t already, I’d encourage you to store your fresh potatoes in a cool, dark place. If you’re finding green potatoes upon returning from the store (or after Instacart delivery), you can often return them.
Thanks again for your note. We hope you have a spud-tacular holiday season, filled with plenty of potatoes.
Thank you for your response! I really appreciate your time and the imparted potato knowledge.
In my reaching out to several potato producers, it seems that they all want to lay the blame on the distribution and storage by the grocers.
So, the “all the vitamins are in the skin” that I got from my grandma when I was a kid was just potato public relations? 🤣
No matter, I agree they are delicious.
Please, enjoy the attached mazes with your friends, family, & co-workers!
I hope you enjoy you have a pleasant holiday season and a happy new year, and a great going season next year. I know I am looking forward to planting some potatoes myself.
I may leave out some potato candy for Santa, if I don’t eat it all!
Tuber-ular Tidings to you & yours!
-Eric
I sent the mazes again, like an idiot. Ha ha. I forgot I had sent them previously. No reply or acknowledgement this time.
This came as response from Tasteful Selections, which are the ones pictured above:
Hi Eric,
Thank you so much for contacting us. I am terribly sorry for the poor experience you had with our product. I can assure you that the quality you saw is not our standard, and for this I apologize.
We strive to ensure that every package of potatoes that leave our farm is handled with the utmost care in order to deliver a quality product to our consumers. Unfortunately, sometimes temperature changes and changes in light make potatoes break down or decay faster than they normally would.
The greening you’re experiencing occurs when potatoes have been exposed to too much light, either natural or artificial, that gives the potatoes a sort of “sunburn.” While greening is a result of light exposure, the visible greening can be delayed. Potatoes exposed to light may be packaged and continue to green beyond our last inspection point. We make every effort to avoid this, however, in your case we were not successful. You can cut the green out of the potatoes and use the rest (although that’s a bit tougher with small potatoes), but eating the green portion of the potato can give a very bitter flavor.
I am sincerely sorry for the inconvenience this has caused you. We stand by our products and you should not have had to have an experience like this. I would like to make it up to you by offering you a product voucher to hopefully help compensate you for your troubles.
If I may please have your mailing address, I would be happy to send you a product voucher straight away. Again, my personal apologies for the frustration this has caused you.
Thank you for your response! I have been exasperated lately with the amount of green or sprouting potatoes from the grocery store. It is a consistent issue across brands and stores, and whether we use a service like I Instacart or pick a bag ourselves.
I understand, from your reply among others, that the issue is most likely occurring after it leaves the potato farm.
Can retailers like Aldi, Giant Eagle, or Target be better educated about potato shipping and storage?
Instacart already refunded us for the purchase of the recently sprouting spuds as that was clearly a shopper error.
If it was spring, I would just plant them! You have a delicious variety of golden potatoes, perfect for home-fries!
Sometimes, the green potatoes don’t reveal themselves until you crack open that bag about to prepare a meal.
I would just like some sort of solution going forward. What can the potato industry do to hold grocers accountable?
If I wanted the gastrointestinal distress and discomfort associated with eating green potatoes, I would just dine at Taco Bell or Pizza Hut. Right?
My mailing address is…
Eric AiXeLsyD
#### Nunya St.
Bidness, PA #####-####
…but again I’m not really looking for free potatoes, I just want to get what I pay for.
I appreciate you reaching out, and pride in the quality of your product. Please find my gift of the attached potato mazes, and share them with your co-workers and friends if so inclined.
Have a very starchy Christmas and a tuber new year!
-Eric
And I got a reply:
Hi Eric,
Thanks so much for getting back to me. I definitely understand your concerns. Our sales & business development team are already working with Produce Managers and providing resources for storing and caring for potatoes. We’ll continue to do our part, however, it ends up being the responsiblity of Produce Managers to not only train their staff, but also make sure they are following through with the potato best practices.
I have a few coupons headed your way.
Sincerely, Jenny
I like free potatoes. I will be on the lookout for potato vouchers!
Now, I have reached several road-blocks with getting a message to Aldi. They apparently do not like to give out email addresses.
I dug up some email formats & corporate names on teh Google mosheen and sent this, also to no avail (so far):
Greetings My Frugal Friends,
I hope you are gearing up for a pleasant, festive, and relaxing holiday season! I appreciate your role in bringing food & other goodies to our homes.
I write to you today with some tuber related shenanigans I have noticed over the last few years. I have submitted a missive to your contact form at the Aldi website to no avail. I have been checking my junk/spam folder too.
I also tried reaching out via Facebook and Twitter… only to be told that your social media teams are unfathomably unable to forward messages to your customer service team or provide an email address. I had to do some Googling, and I pray to a higher power that this reaches a live intelligent and empathetic human being.
I love potatoes. At rhe risk of sounding like Forrest Gump’s friend Bubba droning on about shrimp…
I love potatoes. I like home fries, hash browns, mashed potatoes, baked potatoes, cheesy potatoes, hassleback potatoes, scalloped potatoes, potato candy, potato soup, lyinnaise potatoes, potato filling, tater tots, potato salad (hot or cold styles), shepherd’s pie, and sometimes even potato pancakes. Twice baked potatoes are a fantastic treat too. I hear potato vodka is good too, but I am not much of a drinker. Perhaps a potato beer would be more my speed if such a thing exists?
Nearly every bag of potatoes that I have purchased from your and/or your esteemed competitors over the last few years has had an alarmingly large amount of green solanine-filled potatoes. Glycoalkaloids are not our friends! On the mild end, eating green potatoes would be like chasing a Taco Bell meal with a laxative.
The straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back was one night at dinner when ready to bake 8 potatoes as a side to chili… 2 of the potatoes were totally green on the outside. They had been delivered by Instacart, but the green potatoes were not evident upon eying the outside of the bag.
That’s ¼ of rhe potatoes unusable for their intended purpose. Yes, I could have peeled away the green, but who wants a baked potato with no skin? That’s just craziness. Do I get ¼ of my money back?
I have written to and received replies from quite a few potato farms, and they all seem to point the finger at the end retailer… which in some cases is Aldi. They cite importer handling and storage… specifically exposure to light and longer than optimal time frames.
Perhaps the powers that be within your fine organization can put their heads together, asses your handling of these tiny starcchy underground gifts from heaven, and come up with ways to prevent waste? It may need to be a highly coordinated effort with logistics, distribution, shipping, and warehousing.
As an effort to aid exercise in meditation and clearing your thoughts, I have attached some potato themed mazes. Mazes and labyrinths have a history of assisting people to achieve a zen like state. Perhaps this will provide the needed clarity to prevent ultra violet potato decimation.
You have a fantastic business and I appreciate your effort to bring quality goods to the more budget-concious among us.
If requested, I can even forward my original (perhaps lost?) message.
Thank you for your time, I look forward to your thoughts on the matter!
Let’s root for a starchy Christmas and a tuber new year! -Eric
So, maybe that will get something. Maybe not. Giant Eagle hasn’t bothered to reply either.
Hmm. @GiantEagle still hasn't replied about these @SideDelights potatoes… even though Side Delights has. They cite improper handling by the big bird. All I get are crickets, no chirps, tweets, or even screeches.
@tastefulselect we got these from @aldiusa via @instacart yesterday. Instacart has refunded, but what gives with the ongoing potato issues? I have had so many green ones this past year or so. Are stores shipping/storing improperly?
Yeah, tried that. Got a phone number. Not interested in calling. I would like to send an email, but no one will provide an email address, and apparently your social media team can't just forward a DM to the customer service department. 🤷♂️🤦♂️
The starchy spud saga continues. This time I got an email from Sun-Glo who packs potatoes for Side Delights. Side delights was the brand I caught at Giant Eagle in Bridgeville that was a bag of entirely green potatoes. I probably reached out to this company twice, or maybe three times. I did not purchase that bag, and I have not had a concrete reply from Giant Eagle or Aldi USA yet. The potato farmers seem to place all the blame at the feet of the grocer.
Good afternoon,
I appreciate your email about green potatoes.
The one thing I do want to stress to you is this…..we have USDA and internal inspectors in our warehouse at all times. If the potatoes were green in a bag, they would not pass our inspections and would be not pass. When the potatoes leave our plant, they have passed a USDA inspection.
The one thing we can’t control is how fast or slow the retailers turn their inventory. Potatoes are going to turn green under artificial lights, there is nothing we can do to control this.
There is a website that you might find helpful with a lot of ‘potato knowledge” that the Idaho Potato Commission answers most questions you might have about potatoes. Idahopotato.com
And, I feel like I am ratcheting up the ridiculous with each reply.
Hello Jill,
Thank you for the reply! It is interesting to learn that Sun-Glo and Side Delights potatoes are one in the same!
I am sure you have strict quality control standards, that’s why it is so surprising to see so many green potatoes out in the wild.
I did see but did not purchase a nearly entirely green bag of Side Delights potatoes this Sunday at Giant Eagle in Bridgeville PA.
Monday at the South Fayette PA Giant Eagle, I noticed a fine looking bag of potatoes with the Sun-Glo label.
I have been reaching out to as many potato farmers as I can. The issue seems to go back a few years, and I confess I have not payed much attention to brand. We typically shop at Aldi and Gaint Eagle, but sometimes Shop ‘n Save, Target, Walmart, or even BJ’s Wholesale.
What has been brought to light (pun intended) is that Giant Eagle and Aldi must be improperly shipping, storing, or handling potatoes across the board.
The common denominator seems to be too much artificial light?
Maybe they need to start selling potatoes in rooms with red lights like darkroom back in the 1900’s when people had to develop film.
I have reached out to Aldi and Gaint Eagle to no avail (so far). They are not as quick as you at returning inquiries.
I will most definitely have to do some more research on the Idaho Potato website.
I do grow some of my own in the summer, but I am hardly a titan of tubers, or even a sultan of spuds… perhaps a prefect of potatoes? I could grow some more if I learn to store them properly myself.
I should blog more potato recipes. I cook a lot of potatoes.
Please, find the attached mazes for your enjoyment, and share them with your co-workers. I will also attach the photos of the bag I saw Sunday at Giant Eagle.
Perhaps my mazes can be used in potato safety & storage education going forward?
I appreciate your time, your concern, your knowledge, and your zeal for getting directly to the point. Honestly, and probably obviously, that is something I need to work on.
This makes me think of the books Idiot Letters and The Complete Idiot Letters by Paul Rosa, which probably started all of this with me. I used to also write letters via snail mail before email became a thing. Somewhat less inspiring but still awesome were Ted Nacny’s Letters from a Nut and the Emails from an Asshole website from John Lindsay.
Well, the replies are starting to come in. While this certainly isn’t an issue as pressing, depraved, or salacious as the lady who put the pee in potato at Walmart that one time, it does seem to resonate with people.
Thank you so much for your prompt reply! This was a 5 lb. bag of Russet potatoes, I believed purchased at Aldi via Instacart. Unfortunately, I disposed of all the packaging. I cooked the whole bag! Well, everything that wasn’t green. It would have been purchased at the Aldi in Bridgeville, Pennsylvania… earlier this week. I really don’t want a rebate or anything. I just want to stop getting green potatoes. Can you imagine if 3 out of every dozen eggs were unusable? Or 5 slices of every loaf of bread just moldy? I may have to reach out to Aldi regarding their shipping/storage practices… and Instacart about their selection process. I am sure you take great pride in your potatoes. I know how I feel with a back yard garden, and I’m only feeding a family of 4. You guys must feed millions. I, really though, am going to reach out every time I get green potatoes, no matter the producer. We, as a society, can’t afford to not get the most value out of a dollar. I hope everyone can work together to get perfect produce into our kitchens.
Thank you for your time!
-Eric
And, they wrote back to me:
Hi Eric,
These are unique potato mazes! Thank you for sharing along with where you recently purchased your Alsum 5 lb. russet bag of potatoes. I’m hopeful the hands shopping for your produce through Aldi can be educated to remove from the store shelf any green potatoes to prevent this poor experience going forward. It might be worth the call to bring this to the retailers attention to help everyone have a good potato eating experience and use the bag in full.
As a consumer, I couldn’t agree more we need to stretch our food dollar, and it’s important from farmer to retail grocer to work together to provide a quality product.
We hope you give us another try.
Take care,
Christine
I wrote back once again:
Thank you Christine,
I have reached out to Aldi via web contact form and Facebook, but they are not nearly as quick as you with a response. I am sure you, like all of us, feel the pressure of stretching a dollar lately. I will most certainly give Alsum and Aldi (and even Instacart) another try. Hopefully they can adjust their potato handling process.
Thank you so much for your quick, informative and warm response. I hope the mazes can bring a smile to your co-workers’ faces!
You have a knack for writing, I enjoyed your email!
I am very sorry to hear about the many “green potato’s experiences” you have had. This particular purchase does worry me, we have not supplied potatoes to Giant Eagle since Sept. 29, 2022. So if they are our spuds, they were packed over 9 weeks ago and they would most definitely be green or breaking down. (We suggest a 4 week shelf life).
You are correct in saying eating green potatoes can be harmful, that is true but only if consumed in very large amounts. To play it safe, we tell everyone just to peel the green away or just throw it out.
Do you happen to have the kwik lock (plastic tie) to seal the bag? If so, can you tell me what the 6 digit numbers are? I am sorry I cannot be of much help on this one, but I would let the produce manager know so he or she can clean out their out of date bags on their produce shelf.
Thank you for your message,
Rachel
That was via webform, so I sent the potato mazes and this:
Hello Rachel,
Thank you for such a quick informative reply! I hope the attached mazes can entertain you & your co-workers. I believe I will follow up with Giant Eagle and other local grocers about the green potato issie. It seems that no potato farms are letting green potatoes out the door, but improper storage may be leading to green toxic tubers.
I must confess I have never put much thought into the choice of brands of potato. I just go with whatever is on the produce shelf. I will have to seek out Masser Spuds with intent from now on.
I don’t believe your product specifically was one that has recently been GOA (green on arrival) or turned quickly once it reached my home. I had some issues most recently with Alsum. In a bag of 8 total potatoes, 2 were green and unusable as baked potatoes to go along with the delicious chili that my wife made last week. It’s delicious because she follows my recipe although taking some unnecessary liberties on portions. The kids are crazy because they say hers is much much better than mine. I agree with them, because I may be crazy, but i am not stupid.
I also spotted an entirely green bag of Side Delights potatoes at the aforementioned Giant Eagle yesterday. It lends credence to the theory that Giant Eagle may need to take more care of their precious potato produce. A lot of people may not understand. I posted on social media asking if others had noticed the issue. On Nextdoor someone suggested that like bananas, I just let them ripen at home. 🤦♂️
Sadly though, the problem does not seem limited to any one store or potato farm. The Alsum bag with one quarter of the bag unusable was just the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back. I feel like for the last 2 years, I have been getting a much greater number of green potatoes from Giant Eagle, Shop ‘n Save, Aldi, Walmart, Target, & even BJ’s Wholesale. It is usually only with bagged potatoes… not ones that I would pick fresh. There is the convenience of ordering from Instacart or Target home delivery. Arguably they should be picking better produce, but it is hard to see the whole bag.
Potatoes usually don’t last long here before they’re consumed. We grow our own in the summer, but they cannot fuel our entire consumption. Our small yard and time available are limiting,
If only Mythbusters was still a thing, perhaps they could tell us how much green potato we could safely consume before it felt like we had one of everything from the Taco Bell menu with a side of possible neurological complications.
Thank you once again for your time, and I do hope you enjoy the mazes.
Thank you!
-Eric
And that’s about it for now, other than some standard auto-replies, like this one from Aldi via Facebook Messenger:
I know you’re absolutely riveted by the saga and glued to the screen with anticipation of a solution to the great green potato crisis. Try the potato mazes while you wait!
We’ve established that I’m odd, right? If you have read much here, you know that I like to write emails or letters that blur the line between reality and insanity. Sometimes it’s a real-ish request. I’m using ridiculousness to call attention to a situation.
Did you see the last potato related post? Short version: I’m tired of getting green potatoes. What can we do to stop it?
I’ve started to reach out via emails, contact submissions forms, and even Facebook Messenger to some potato farms & stores.
This time, I attached some mazes though. 🤣
Why? Why not?
Here’s pretty much what they all got…
Salutations Spud Specialists,
I hope this email finds you well. Living up to stereotypes, my Irish ancestors would be proud at my levels of potato consumption. I’ll eat them just about any way they can be cooked. Keel me over with carbs, please.
I have noticed a trend with potatoes over the last few years and it really has my mind reeling with questions. You are not alone. This applies to nearly every [expletive removed for politeness’ sake] bag of potatoes I have bought in the last year, no matter the source. I typically get a ridiculous amount of green potatoes in each and every bag I purchase. The other day, I opened the bag which was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back. That 5 lb. bag contained eight potatoes which I planned to bake, and two were green all over the outside and thus unsuitable for baking. Could I skin & fry or boil or mash them? Sure. The vitamins and taste are in the skin though… as I’m sure you are aware. I even like to leave some of the skin in when making mashed potatoes.
The green skin & portion just under is poisonous, no? If I understand correctly, light reacts with the skin to turn it green via chlorophyll & photosynthesis, producing solanine & chaconine. Glycoalkaloids can be dangerous.
“Studies have estimated that peeling a potato at home removes at least 30% of its toxic plant compounds. However, that still leaves up to 70% of the compounds in the flesh.”
I feel like if ¼ of every bag of potatoes I buy is unsuitable for consumption and I’m playing by the pound, there ought to be some rebate or relief. I have started & will continue to reach out to all of the producers of bags of potatoes that I buy from now on with similar inquiries.
Did you all fire your potato inspectors at the farm or the processing or packaging plants? Do you have a machine that needs fine-tuned? Are you willfully and knowingly shipping toxic tubers? I understand that they may be exposed to light, heat, or longer than ideal conditions while shipping from you to the grocery store. Are they in trucks or warehouses too long? Could the bags have better ultraviolet protection?
The cost of everything is going up, and I understand that… but I can’t accept lowering quality standards at the same time. Can I reach out to your shipping partners, logistics, warehouses, and the grocers?
I confess I am not brand loyal to any potato conglomerate. I purchase potatoes at Aldi, Giant Eagle, Walmart, Target, BJ’s, Shop ‘n Save, or wherever may have the best price or be the most convenient. Sometimes Instacart purchases for us, and I guess I’ll need to follow up there about the selection of green potatoes. Sometimes it’s not evident until the entire bag is home.
I hope you had a restful and prosperous Thanksgiving. I stuffed myself with fresh delicious mashed potatoes… my secret ingredients are turkey broth and buttermilk!
I look forward to your thoughts on this green ‘tater epidemic. How can we move forward into a ripe yet not overripe future?
So, I’ve been hungry for meatball subs. They’re so simple to make, but we just never seem to do it at home. I shared the photo on social media, because I’m weird like that and it annoys people, and some people seemed to dig it. wanted to share how easy it was with a minimal amount of effort.
So, the wife got a pound of ground meat from Aldi the other day, and I picked up the rest of the stuff that we didn’t already have at Giant Eagle on my way home from work. I probably could have gotten all of this from Aldi.
So this is what I used…
1 lb. of ground beef
a handful or two of finely shredded fancy 6 cheese “Italian” stuff – I started with a 2 cup bag. We always have this or something similar around.
Whatever “shake cheese” you put on spaghetti. I have Parmigiano-Reggiano because they think it needs to sound fancy.
A handful of crackers. We had “club” crackers from Aldi
Turn the oven on first so you don’t have to worry about it later. Put it on 375° because that’s always what they seem to say to put it on. I don’t know why. I don’t even know who they are.
I made some meatballs with the meat, some hand-crushed crackers, a dash of the pizza sauce, a dash of Italian dressing, a dash of whatever spices I grabbed off the rack (probably pepper, season all, onion powder, garlic powder, and paprika), a bit of the Parmesan shake cheese and the mysterious “six cheese Italian” stuff.
I put some spices on the outside because why not, and tossed them into a frying pan with EVOO and a small pat of butter on the bottom. I pre-heated it to high, then turned it to 6 before I tossed in the balls. 6 is at about 6:00 on my stupid electric stove top.
I melted a bit of butter in the microwave. I quickly cut open the buns, put them on a baking sheet, spread on some melted butter with a brush and added… garlic powder, onion powder, a dash of shake cheese, and “Italian seasoning” to the buns. No Italian seasoning for my wife, and no garlic powder for my 2½ year old. I popped them in the 375° oven on the middle rack for a bit.
I used tongs to turn the meatballs over & popped a lid on the pan.
I dumped the remaining pizza sauce into a soup cup (it was a little jar), and added a sprinkle of brown sugar. I nuked it for 45 seconds or so. Why? I like sweet sauce, and grandma always said “it cuts the acid.”
I turned the meatballs on to an undone side, and got the sub rolls out of the oven. I knew they were done because… I didn’t even look at them. I just took them out. They looked fine. Plus, we’re not totally finished. I added some pizza sauce and some of the finely shredded awkwardly named cheese to the buns.
I made sure the meatballs weren’t going to kill us with the food thermometer. They weren’t. I put those on the buns and added more sauce, shredded cheese, and shake cheese.
I set some meatballs aside for my 10 month old. The sandwich was a little much for him, but he will eat just about anything you put in front of him. Seriously. even if it’s not edible.
I put the now built subs into the oven and cranked the knob to 400° because I am impatient and my 2½ year old kept asking if lunch was ready. I turned the light on in the oven and watched the cheese melt. Not only was that fun, I could also make sure I wasn’t going to burn the bejesus out of things. I didn’t. I took it out in time.
Well, some of the cheese that fell on to the baking sheet burned, because I made a mess. Oh well.
These were pretty good, although next time I will use different/better sauce. That squeeze stuff isn’t bad. Maybe I can make a simple marinara. Also, homemade-ish deli rolls or Cellone’s are worth it… and I would cut a little triangle out of the top like Subway used to, before we were over-saturated with them and they started to serve terrible cream-of-deathfish.
At any rate. This is easy to do. You could buy your own meatballs or bake your own bread or use cheese slices to make this as easy or as difficult as you like. I cut my 2½ year old’s into 3 sections so she had sliders. I cut my wife’s in 2. I ate the whole thing in one big sandwich like a hungry hungry pig. I refuse to apologize.
Share photos of yours or links to your own blogged recipe in the comments!
I certainly don’t need another guitar. I’m always looking at them though. There are just so many different kinds out there, and I can appreciate almost all of them. Some I actually sort of drool over, & eventually I end up with one. I don’t think 13 Guitars in 2013 will ever become a reality. I can always add cool guitars to my Pinterest board, right?
These are some that I’m always thinking about…
Epiphone USA Map Guitar
Like this…
The Epiphone USA Map Guitar – It has to be ridiculously cumbersome to play, but no more than my Galveston B.B. Stone. The brown finish is neat, but I’d love it to look like an old-school pastel textbook map of the USA. They pop up on ebay every once in a while, but none are ever priced low enough that I feel it’s a “must buy” because I’ll never see the same deal again. There are other companies that make them too. I’m not picky, I just like the shape & the idea. It would certainly be a fun one on stage.
Fernandes Ravelle
Deluxe
The Fernandes Ravelle – I’d like any of them really, but the green Dave Kushner model is awesome. I dig the green color, and the sweet pick guard with holes in it. I love how it takes the classic Les Paul shape, and makes it a little Alien. The curves are awesome. I dig the sound too, on the Velvet Revolver albums & live show. I’ve seen a few in action at shows around here, but I’ve only seen one for sale at Guitar Center in Robinson. I almost dropped more money than I could afford on it… it was only around $500 which seemed reasonable. Sadly, I made a sound financial decision that day.
Fretlight Guitar
Fretlight® Guitar – It seems like it would just be really fun to play with one. I might even learn a scale other than the pentatonic with one. I like the old school one with the knobs & switches. I don’t know if I’d even gig out with it, unless you could program it to make a cool light show or spell out the name of your band or something tasteless & offensive on the fretboard. Maybe even the word “POOP” because, well, that’s always funny.
Hallmark Guitars Wing-Bat
Hallmark Guitars Wing-Bat – Or the George Barris Batman guitar. I’ll probably never have enough money to own this thing, but it sure is cool. No Batmobile beats the 60’s Batmobile… and this thing looks like it was in the trunk all along. If anyone has one that needs a good home, let me know. I’ll play it & take care of it quite well. I’d gig out with it too. It’s a shame when these collector guitars hit a shelf somewhere never to be played again.
DIPinto Mach IV
DiPinto Mach IV – One of my favorite guitars playersplays one of these sweet-looking axes. It’s very eye-catching. It’s almost like a Mosrite, but not quite. Gel from The Eyeliners is one hell of a guitar player, & the reason I want one. I’m generally not a fan of red guitars, but with this… I’d like a red one.
Annihilator
Annihilator copy by Oktober Guitars – I’m not nearly as cool as Doyle, but I’d love to play one… being a Misfits Fiend for all these years. I’m not sure I’ll ever have $600 lying around for a guitar that I wouldn’t play all the time.
Ever see those colored light bulbs in the store labeled “Party Lights”? I must have been invited to the wrong parties all these years. I have never been to a party with party lights. Please, if you’ve been to (or thrown) one of these zany-lighting parties… tell me what it’s like!
I’d like to be invited to a party with pink or blue or green light bulbs. Sure, I’ve seen the yellow ones in action keeping bugs off of a porch, and red ones in a dark room… and black lights(& the cheap black lights that don’t make stuff glow very well), but I’ve never seen party lights used for a party. I’ve eveseen Christmas lights strung up for a party. That can’t compare to the whimsical hilarity of putting in a green light bulb!
I have a Fender Mini Twin MT-10 9V amp that I recently dug out of a box in the basement. Obviously I don’t use it much. It’s the one in a plastic enclosure, and it sounds like… it’s in a plastic enclosure. The battery compartment cover has decided to move on to better things. My little Smokey Amp kicks its butt where 9V rocking is concerned, and it drives a cabinet if you wanna get really crazy.
I have the boring MT-10 on the right in the incredibly awesome sounding high-quality black plastic enclosure.
If it looks like a duck, and sounds like a cat getting its tail pulled, it must be a... guitar amplifier?
One of the clamps inside that was supposed to hold the speaker busted off of the plastic enclosure anyway, so it was all in there rattling around.
I have been a fan of the stuff that the dude from Artistic Amplification is doing for a while. The other day I got the brainstorm to turn my Mini-Twin into something like that dude does. He uses the Ruby circuit from Runoof Groove, but I already have guts to a perfectly good amp.
9V me!
All I need is one of those 9V battery connector things(the amp has a stupid box w/ prongs), a fun shell, maybe some longer wires, a drill, some time and I’m good to go. Even my level of poor soldering skills should work for this venture.
These would certainly make badass little novelty amps.
I could possibly route out the eyes of the skull for the Twin Speaker placement. Was thinking the same with with Darth Vader’s eyes, or even mount them in the mouth-piece. Somehow I could maybe even work in that control panel… If the speaker was in the mouth, I could make the eyeballs light up or something even crazier. I can even use the integrated AC adapter, but I have read online that sometimes they produce an additional unwanted hum.
Then again, I thought trolling an antique store or two for an old box or transistor radio or crazy piece of kitsch would be kind of fun. I might come across something that hits me as the perfect vessel for the Frankentwin. (And a wooden box or old leather-covered transistor might sound better than yet another plastic enclosure.)
HELP ME!
I pulled the amp apart with ease… I’m sort of stuck with the knobs. They’re not coming off with a gentle pull, and while other goofy replacements might be fun, I don’t really want to bust these (or the circuit board inside) yet. I guess I’m going to have to try to get something thin in behind them to pull them off.
I’m asking you the reader if you have any tips, tricks, advice, suggestions, etc. Have you done this before? Have you seen anything similar? Have you ever had the urge to build your own amp? Would you buy one if I learned how to make a circuit & started making/selling weird stuff? (Provided it sounded cool?)
Make sure you can get the whole way through an intersection before you actually go through it. I see these dingleberries every weekday morning. I use the word dignleberry because they cling to automobile in front of them. Please, study the illustration of the offending intersection by Bing Maps & mad paint.NET skills:
Don't be a dingleberry.
To drive the point home, what you’re seeing is my path (the green arrow) and the wrong path (the red arrow). The yellow outline is the zone where you should not be when my light turns green. Let’s call that zone the clean wipe zone. There are two lanes headed in my direction. The left lane is where I need to be, the right lane is where most of the red path dingleberries are going, so they can get up on the major highway close by.
One major dingleberry always ends up straddling the inside lane, clearly inside the clean wipe zone. Sometimes the dingleberry has a friend that sneaks behind, straddling the lanes coming towards me. That’s super dingleberryish. Don’t be a dingleberry!
(Dingleberries in the clean wipe zone cause incredible discomfort, and sometimes bring out horn-honking traffic trolls.)
If you end up in the clean wipe zone when my light is green, you are a dingleberry. There may be several reasons for the offending action…
You’re an idiot and you weren’t paying attention.
You think you can squeeze through.
You’ll do anything to get through your light, not caring if you’re blocking traffic going the other direction.
I have solutions for all of these problems…
Pay attention, idiot.
You obviously can’t, judge better next time. When it doubt, don’t.
You are not more important than the throngs of others on their way to work. Why block a whole bunch of them?
World (and Lunar) Domination 