Tag Archives: Lunch

Gobblerloaf? It’s Giving Thanksgiving: A turkey meatloaf recipe.

Posted on by Standard Reply

So, I recently made a meatball sub inspired by wedding soup flavors. In that post, I considered making a turkey meatloaf with flavors like stuffing and mashed potatoes in it among other weird meatball subs. I like to mix it up with meatloaf. I have done a mushroom one (and a Swiss Mushroom one too actually), a breakfast one, and I do “normal” ones with the ketchup glaze, or A1, or gravy all the time. I think next up is a taco-inspired meatloaf. Maybe. It’s probably fair to call it “white people taco” inspired.

Did you know I like Thanksgiving dinner? I may have a problem. I made some roasted butternut squash along with this, so I cooked it hotter than I normally would… and employed a foil tent for the first half hour. I listened to one of my many Halloween playlists while making dinner today though, not my Thanksgiving one. I do need to get my turkey maze on a T-shirt or apron.

Gobblerloaf!

Turkey Meatloaf with Cranberry-Apple Glaze

🍗

Meatloaf Ingredients:

  • 3 lbs. ground turkey
  • 1 (6 oz.) box stuffing mix
  • Milk (just enough to soak the stuffing.)
  • 1 cup finely shredded carrots
  • ¾ cup Instant mashed potato flakes
  • 2 eggs
  • 2 dollops of sour cream
  • 1 cup broken-up French fried onions
  • Seaonings:
    • 1½ tsp. Poultry seasoning
    • 1 tsp. Season-All
    • 1 tsp. Dash table blend
    • 1 tsp. Onion powder
    • 1 tsp. Paprika
    • 1 tsp. Dried parsley
    • 1 tsp. Minced garlic
    • ½ tsp. Garlic powder
    • ½ tsp. Black pepper

Glaze Ingredients:

  • 1 (14 oz.) Can jellied cranberry sauce (I used the Aldi brand.)
  • 1 (4 oz. cup) Unsweetened applesauce
  • 2 Tbsp. Apple cider vinegar, to taste
  • 1 Tbsp. Brown sugar
  • 1 Tbsp. Clover honey
  • Seasonings:
    • ½ tsp. Poultry seasoning
    • ½ tsp. Mustard powder
    • ¼ tsp. White pepper
    • ¼ tsp. Onion powder

Meatloaf Method:

  1. Preheat the oven to 400° F.
  2. Soak the stuffing mix in milk to soften.
  3. In a large bowl, combine ground turkey, soaked stuffing, potato flakes, eggs, shredded carrots, French-fried onions, and all seasonings. Mix until just combined.
  4. Divide into two loaves (~1½ lbs. each) and shape onto a parchment lined sheet pan or into loaf pans.
  5. Bake at 400° F, tented loosely with foil, for the first ~30 minutes.
  6. Remove foil.
  7. Continue baking, checking internal temp starting around 45 minutes. Apply glaze in the last 15 minutes or so.
  8. Pull loaves once they hit 165° F internal.
  9. Rest 5 to 10 minutes before slicing.

Glaze Method:

  1. Melt jellied cranberry sauce over medium-low heat.
  2. Whisk in applesauce and brown sugar until smooth.
  3. Add apple cider vinegar, honey, white pepper, and mustard powder to taste.
  4. Simmer until it coats the back of a spoon.

Notes:

  • I honestly don’t measure anything unless I’m using whatever came in the box or can. This is a guess. Season until your ancestors tell you to stop.
  • I thought about sautéing a mirepoix here instead of just the carrots. Maybe next time? I do that for my stuffing, and it adds so much.
  • I used something that’s somewhere between cheese-grater and lemon-zester so my shredded carrots were TINY.
  • I normally may cook meatloaf at a lower temperature, but I was cooking butternut squash at the same time, popped on to the top rack.
  • I also served this with canned green beans (hit with butter & onion-powder), instant potatoes (mixed THICC), and some turkey gravy from a packet so everyone had their choice of glaze, gravy, GTFO, or both.
  • I put my beef meatloaves on top of bread to prevent burning and soak up grease, but there was hardly any fat here. I could have skipped it & let the parchment paper do its thing.
  • I don’t like the cranberry sauce with whole (or mushed) cranberries, and neither does my diverticulitis… but, if you do, I’m gonna guess that would work well here too.
  • In the name of mad science, should I include squash, green beans, and/or cranberry sauce IN the loaf next time?
  • If you don’t have poultry seasoning, use sage, thyme, & rosemary.

Apologies for the absolutely atrocious photo, but I was hungry.

A poorly composed photo of two turkey meatloaves fresh from the oven, sitting on toasted bread slices on a parchment-lined baking sheet. The one on the left plain with golden-brown evidence of the Maillard reaction, the one on the right topped with a glistening deep red cranberry glaze. This was obviously taken by a hangry man in a hurry to eat.
A poorly composed photo of two Giving Thanksgiving turkey meatloaves fresh from the oven.

This might be a cool thing for a second holiday gathering, a small gathering, or in June when you want a turkey dinner. I have some Thanksgiving mazes you can solve too. Maybe skip the ground beef one, unless you wanna just get the book (it even made the cover!).

Really though, if you’re here, you gotta make these Thanksgiving sliders some time too. Should I make a thanksgiving dinner meatball sub with gravy to dip it in?

Hit me up in the comments with your thoughts, concerns, questions, tips, or tricks! Do you make one like this? What kind of themed meatloaf do you make?

What if soup, but sandwich? Wedding Soup Meatball Subs.

Posted on by Standard 1

So, you know I like to make soup. And you know I’m a fan of meatball subs (& meatball clubs! Join the meatball club). I made my version of wedding soup recently, and it was pretty good. I remarked it’d be good to have a meatball sub with those flavors, and everyone in the family seemed to agree. So, here we are.

Yinz wanna jump to the recipe?

A hearty meatball sub inspired by Italian wedding soup, featuring tender meatballs, greens, and melted cheese on a toasted hoagie roll.
A toasted wedding-soup inspired meatball sub cut in half on a plate, served alongside a warm bowl of flavorful golden brodo di bollito.

Lots of other people have done this and there are certainly other recipes out there, but as always I did my own take here. I get real tired real quick on foodie gatekeeping about the “right” way to do stuff, as it recipes and ingredients haven’t always changed across generations, borders, & families.

I had what I wanted to do and a taste I was going for in my head, and it definitely hit the mark. My son tasted a meatball before we made a sandwich and he said the meatball tasted exactly like wedding soup. I’ll take that!

I ended up making a broth on the side to kind of have like a a French Dip sandwich. Google says it’s a Brodo di Bollito. I took the bun that I messed up, but it still looks pretty good. I’ll try to make the recipe concise below. I just kind of throw stuff together, don’t measure, and hope it works.

How would you do yours? I present this as a guide and a reminder for myself the next time I make these. I encourage you to make it your own. Here’s what I did, I’ll try to present it as a recipe:

Ingredients:

  • 1.5 lbs. ground beef
  • 1 lb. ground chicken
  • 2 large eggs
  • 2 Tbsp. milk, splash
  • ⅓ cup plain breadcrumbs
  • ⅓ cup panko breadcrumbs
  • ½ cup grated Parmesan (for meatballs)
  • ⅓ box (1 lb.) acini di pepe
  • 1 cup matchstick carrots, finely chopped
  • 1½ celery stalks w/ leaves, finely chopped
  • ½ Spanish onion, finely chopped
  • 4 Tbsp. butter (for sautéing mirepoix & wilting spinach)
  • Dash of extra virgin olive oil, for sautéing mirepoix
  • Seasonings! (To taste, throughout.)
    • onion powder
    • garlic powder
    • black pepper
    • Dash table blend
    • paprika
    • dried parsley
    • Italian seasoning
    • rotisserie chicken seasoning
    • poultry seasoning
  • 3 tsp. jarred minced garlic (I know, I know, the internet hates this. Use fresh then.)
  • 1 (32 Oz.) box chicken stock
  • 1 (32 Oz.) box chicken broth
  • 1 beef bouillon cube
  • 1 cup whole-milk ricotta
  • 4 cups fresh spinach
  • 4 hard rolls, split on top
  • 1 cup fontina, freshly shredded
  • ½ cup fancy shredded Parmesan, for topping

Method:

  1. Preheat the oven to 400° F.
  2. In a soup pot, sauté the Carrots, celery, & onion in some butter & a splash of olive oil, with the jarred minced garlic. Season with a bit of the herb/spices to taste, add minced garlic after the stuff cooks a bit.
  3. Take out maybe ½ to ¾ cup of the mirepoix and set aside to cool.
  4. Add the chicken stock and beef bouillon cube to the pot with the remaining mirepoix, and bring it to a boil.
  5. Add the acini di pepe, cook about 9 minutes per the box, just shy of tender — you want it barely cooked, not swollen.
  6. Set aside about ½ to ¾ cup of the acini di pepe to cool.
  7. Put the stock on a warmer or a low simmer.
  8. Mix the meatballs! Combine ground beef, ground chicken, 2 large eggs, 2 tablespoons milk, plain & panko breadcrumbs, 0.5 cups grated Parmesan. Gently fold in the cooled mirepoix/acini di pepe mixture, Mix by hand until just combined, don’t overwork. Don’t forget to season the egg mixture, the breadcrumbs, & the meat.
  9. Form a bunch of meatballs on a backing sheet with some parchment paper. Mine were probably just a little smaller than 2 inches in diameter. I seasoned them after forming, too.
  10. Bake the meatballs at 400°F for 17-ish minutes (until they reach 165°F internal).
  11. Season the ricotta: While the meatballs bake, mix ricotta with a pinch of the seasoning blend until well combined.
  12. Wilt the spinach in a pan with some butter & seasonings.
  13. Split 4 hard rolls on top. Spread the herbed ricotta inside, then toast in the oven at 400°F for about 5 minutes. (You can time it to go in with the meatballs or wait until they’re done.)
  14. Layer wilted spinach into each toasted roll, top with meatballs, then sprinkle fontina & shredded Parmesan generously over the top.
  15. Melt the cheese: Return assembled subs to the oven at 400°F for about 7 minutes until the cheese is melted and bubbly.
  16. Warm the broth and serve alongside the subs for dipping, French dip style.

Notes:

  • I should have used fresh parsley in addition to the dried stuff.
  • Use “real” garlic if you’re cooler than me.
  • I should have put a tiny bit of spinach in the meatballs too.
  • This could have made like 10 sandwiches, I only made 4. We’re gonna freeze stuff for later.
  • Use plain or panko or seasoned breadcrumbs, or crush up crackers, parmesan Cheez⟐It, or croutons. Hell, crush up Ritz. Use what ya got.
  • Just melt butter with herbs/seasonings & spread it on the bun, then add mozzarella or provolone or whatever kind of cheese you like here if you’re so inclined. I went with Ricotta and Fontina because they seem more mellow for some reason.
  • I would use a little pasta here. Maybe orzo or stelline or any kind of pastina.
  • Of course you can use sausage, or veal, or pork, or whatever floats your boat.
  • The spinach could have used some type of vinegar maybe, to cut the richness? Lemon would work too, but I’m not a huge fan. We had these with a nice small side salad.
  • I feel like red bell pepper may not have been out of place here somewhere? In the meatball sauteed? Roasted red peppers on top?
  • I hate rice in meatballs, so I subbed in veggies for my cabbage rolls, and that really worked well.
Three-panel collage showing ingredients for wedding soup meatball subs: cooked acini di pepe pasta, a seasoned mirepoix of carrots, celery, and onion in broth, and herbed ricotta cheese.
Foundations
Two-panel collage showing wedding soup meatballs before and after baking — raw, seasoned meatballs studded with acini di pepe and mirepoix on the left, and the same meatballs browned and cooked through on a baking sheet on the right.
Meatball Before & After
Two-panel collage showing finely grated fontina cheese, curled from a very fine grater, on top of spinach wilted in butter in a pan for the wedding soup meatball sub.
Accoutrements
Three-panel collage showing the assembly of a wedding soup meatball sub: a hard roll spread with herbed ricotta, the same roll layered with wilted spinach, and the finished roll topped with baked meatballs before cheese and a final bake.
Roll out! Sub assembly collage.

So, there you have it. What do you think? Do you make a similar sub or know of a restaurant or food truck that does? What other kind of soup would make a good meatball sub? My wife suggested French onion. That seems doable and delicious.

What if we got weird with cheddar cheese-filled meatballs dipped in tomato soup? Broccoli cheddar soup inspired, made with meatballs sort of like ham loaf ? I suggested a meatloaf made like a green bean holiday casserole and the family told me that the madness had to stop. (It’s not that far off from mushroom meatloaf mayhem.)

Wait. Ground turkey, boxed stuffing as the breadcrumbs, and a cranberry glaze? That would make one hell of a meatball sub or a meatloaf. (Sort of like my Thanksgiving sliders?)

Maybe the meatball club can be more than just a sandwich, and more than just a photo on some merch? We could strive to make different meatball sandwiches, and have an actual club? Who’s in?

Hit me up in the comments with questions or suggestions!

What’s the non copyrighted or trademarked name for Beefaroni?

Posted on by Standard Reply

I’m gonna call it beefaroni anyway, because these names are just ridiculous:

The dish commonly sold as “Beefaroni” (a trademarked name owned by Conagra Brands) has several regional and generic names. Depending on where you are in the US, the most common non-trademarked names for this ground beef and macaroni tomato skillet are American Goulash, American Chop Suey, Slumgullion, or Johnny Marzetti. [1, 2, 3]

Right?

A white bowl full of homemade beefaroni - spiraling pasta with ground beef.
Boy are deez tasty.

At any rate, I was hungry for it… and I am not a fan of the Chef Boyardee stuff/ (Sorry, Chef!) We would have this occasionally when I was growing up, and it’s a comfort meal I guess. It’s easy enough, and safe for the beef part these days, pretty economical.

Below is how I do it. How do you do it, & what do you call it?

Stuff yinz need:

How to do it:

  1. Bring 4 quarts water to boil in a stock pot, ad the bouillon cubes, Italian blend, & Dash.
  2. Brown the ground beef in your skillet, hit it will all those spices… or whatever you got or like. We don’t measure here. Season until you think it’s too much, then keep going a little bit.
  3. Drop that Cavatappi or whatever pasta shape you dig into that water for 7 minutes or the recommended time on the box. Make sure you stir it up every once in a while.
  4. Drain the pasta, leave a lil’ bit of pasta water, return it to the warm yet off burner.
  5. Dump in the ground beef, the tomato soup, and stir like you practiced with the pasta.
  6. Put it in a bowl and eat it.

Notes?

  • Yeah, tomato soup! Not tomato sauce, pasta sauce, tomato paste, crushed tomatoes, or any of that for me. This is cheap.
  • Obviously if you would prefer any of that, do it.
  • Sauteed onions, diced tomatoes, some type of beans, or even bell peppers would probably be great in this.
  • This is a memory I’m not messing with though. I’m keeping it basic and cheap.

There you have it. I know it hit the spot for me.

A close-up photo of a pot containing delicious spiraling cavatappi pasta with ground beef covered in condensed tomato soup. It's red and warm image overall.
Comfort Food / Struggle Meal

Pizza Pockets

Posted on by Standard Reply

So, a while back I made some things, and I don’t know if they were calzones or stromboli because no one can seem to fully agree on the definitions of either. Yes, I know definitions exist, but restaurants are all over out here calling them the wrong thing and people will confidently give you their contradicting hyper-regional opinions as gospel. Maybe it’s a turnover? I like alliteration, so Pizza Pocket it is.

[ Just The Recipe | Cooked Wiki | Only the Recipe ]

The first ones I made were not pretty. They were more half-moon shaped, one was not sealed well. They were delicious, but not awesome. I used pizza dough balls from Aldi and I did not do a great job stretching it.

This time I made some for lunch, and they looked pretty good. I put fillings in to order for each of us, and put our initials on top so they didn’t get mixed up. I got a resounding seal of approval on these, so I’m putting it here to make it again.

A top-down view of a parchment paper lined baking sheet holding four large, crispy, golden-brown pizza pockets. Each pocket features a personalized family initial carved into the top crust to identify the different fillings, with hints of glorious melted cheese peeking through.
Pizza Pockets!

Here’s what I used:

  • Giant Eagle pizza dough pop-tube
  • Jarred pizza sauce
  • Shredded Italian blend cheese
  • Shredded Mozzarella cheese
  • Parmesan cheese (the powdery shake kind)
  • 2 eggs
  • ½ stick butter
  • “Toppings:” (Fillings?)
    • canned mushroom stems & pieces
    • canned black olive slices
    • jarred roasted red peppers
    • diced ham
    • mini pepperoni
  • Spices:
    • garlic powder
    • onion powder
    • paprika
    • Italian blend
    • parsley
    • Dash table blend

Here’s how I made them:

  1. Preheat the oven to 400° (Or if you’re weird like me, preheat it to 425° then crank it down to 400° after you put the food in.)
  2. Put down some parchment paper on a large baking sheet because washing dishes sucks.
  3. Put any wet toppings like the mushrooms, olives, & red pepper on a paper towel or two do drain & dry off a bit.
  4. Melt the butter in a microwavable bowl, add in spices to taste.
  5. Crack the eggs into another bowl, whisk (or fork), and add spices again.
  6. Pop open the scary dough tubes with a spoon, roll them out, and cut them in half the short way.
  7. Put down the Italian cheese blend on half of the half. I didn’t measure, but I did use the whole bag. Leave room on the edges so you can seal the dough.
  8. Spoon on a very little bit of the pizza sauce.
  9. Add your preferred toppings, keeping track of who gets what. I took ’em all!
  10. Sprinkle some parmesan cheese.
  11. Top with a little bit of Mozzarella.
  12. Hit the edges with some egg wash.
  13. Fold over the dough to make a nice rectangle, and use a fork to crimp the 3 “open” edges.
  14. Brush the egg wash on top, then brush the melted butter on top of that.
  15. Add extra spices on top if you think it needs it, and go for more parmesan too.
  16. Cut slits in the top shaped like everyone’s initials so you know whose is whose.
  17. Pop that in the oven at 400° for 20 minutes and you get what I got in the picture.

Suggestions/Substitutions/Advice:

  • I measure with my heart. You should too. Trust your judgement. Season until your ancestors tell you to stop.
  • It’s also fun to make mountain pies (if you have a campfire going) or pizza grilled cheese.
  • You could get fancy and do all kinds of stuff like green peppers, pepperoncini, sausage, onion, Ricotta, anchovies, spinach, basil, whatever.
  • Of course use whatever dough or cheese fits your fancy, fits your budget, or is simply what’s available.
  • You can skip the pizza sauce. I also wouldn’t overdo it… you want vents up top to let steam out so it doesn’t stay too wet.

So, do you make something similar? I am way too impatient to make dough, and I seem to even be too impatient to stretch a dough ball properly. These rolled canned tube things were perfect.

Hit me up on the comments or social media replies with some conversation:

  • What would your toppings of choice be?
  • Is this a Calzone, Stromboli, turnover, or what?
  • What would you do different?

Regardless, when making a pizza, calzone, stromboli, you gotta listen to my Punk Rock Pizza Party playlist. Oh and, hey… Did you try and make a meatball club yet? You don’t have to do stuff the same boring way as everyone else. If you did make one, you should get a T-shirt (or at least a button).

I will continue to make weird stuff, and leave pizza to the experts. You could wear this T-shirt while you make pizza 0r eat pizza.

Crafty-Kraft Creamy Baked Mac n’ Cheese

Posted on by Standard Reply

I have had it in my head for a while now that I wanted some of the homestyle creamy baked mac n’ cheese. Inspiration hit with the snow coming down today, wanting some comfort food, so I just did it. I had been wondering if you could use a box of Kraft as the start to “good” mac & cheese, too. I had some stuff in the ‘fridge & pantry to make it happen. Posting it here to remember what I did.

Creamy baked mac and cheese on a white plate, topped with golden breadcrumbs. The dish is served with crumbled crumbs scattered around.
A baked mac and cheese dish with a golden brown breadcrumb topping, placed on a green towel.

I didn’t really measure, but this is close…

Ingredients:

  • 2 boxes Kraft mac & cheese (noodles & powder packets)
  • ½ cup butter & ¼ cup butter (for later)
  • ½ cup flour
  • 1 block sharp cheddar cheese (16 oz.?), grated
  • 4 cubed chunks (approx. 1″ cubes) of Velveeta (I used the Aldi version)
  • 1 cup shredded colby jack cheese
  • 2½ cups 2% milk
  • ½ cup half & half
  • ¾ cup panko breadcrumbs
  • ¾ plain breadcrumbs
  • yellow mustard (a dash)
  • ground mustard (to taste)
  • black pepper (to taste)
  • white pepper (to taste)
  • salt (to taste)
  • onion powder (to taste)
  • garlic powder (to taste)
  • table blend salt-free seasoning (to taste)

Method:

  1. Preheat the oven to 350° F.
  2. Boil the pasta in some water with bit of salt, for about 5 minutes… the time on the box overcooks them.
  3. Melt ½ cup butter in a cause pan on medium, stir in the flour (season it here), cook 2 or 3 min. until golden.
  4. Slowly stir in milk & half & half. (Season it here too.)
  5. Slowly stir in the grated sharp cheddar & chunks of Velveeta. I put the squirt of mustard in here. (Season it here too.)
  6. Slowly stir in one of the cheese powder packets from the Kraft box. (Season it here too.)
  7. Drain the pasta when it’s done while you’re doing all that, then put it in an 8″x8″ glass baking dish.
  8. Stir in your cheese sauce. (If I understand correctly, that was a roux, then a béchamel, then a mornay… right?) Season it again if you nasty, and you’re reading this, so I know you are.
  9. Melt the ¼ cup of butter in a small bowl with a handle. (Season it here too.)
  10. Stir the breadcrumbs, the other Kraft cheese packet, & the table blend seasoning into the butter bowl.
  11. Sprinkle the shredded colby jack on top of the cheese n’ macaroni.
  12. Spread the buttery cheesy breadcrumbs on that.
  13. Pop it in the oven for like 18 minutes.

Notes:

  • I popped it in for 20 minutes, and while the breadcrumbs got a little overdone, they weren’t quite burnt. I may cover it in foil for a bit next time, or put the breadcrumbs on after a bit of cooking?
  • I’ll use a bullion cube in with the macaroni next time. I do that with pasta a lot but was worried the Kraft cheese packets may be salty, they weren’t as bas as I expected.
  • I needed some grated parmesan shake cheese, but didn’t use any because I couldn’t find it. Ha ha.
  • What about crushed Cheeze-Its instead of breadcrumbs? What about bacon pieces in there?

Have you done this? Obviously I could just use regular pasta & forgo the Kraft powdered cheese sauce concoction. Got any tips or tricks? If you say nutmeg or cinnamon you can see yourself all the way out.

Share your thoughts in the comments!

Italian …Subwich? Submursible?

Posted on by Standard Reply

This is becoming a trend. I want to make a sandwich and don’t have the appropriate bread or bun. Thankfully, this lack of planning for a meatball sub brought forth the almighty Meatball Club (the Meatball Melt isn’t bad either). This was not a bad alternative, if I do say so myself.

Did you get yourself a The Meatball Club T-shirt yet? Maybe I should trademark that.

I made some of my grilled chicken noodle soup that we had with a salad for dinner last night. I had some leftovers for lunch today and wanted a lil’ sandwich to go with it. Not much beats a local mom n’ pop pizza shop Italian Sub. I had some almost sort of close enough ingredients in the house, so I crafted my own.

In my humble opinion, the key to a great local sub shop Italian Sub is the toasting. The second key is to call it a sub and not a hoagie, grinder, hero or whatever other word yinz have for it. Maybe this would be less a Subwich and more a Submersible?

I didn’t have a sub roll, but I did have the super cheap hamburger buns. That worked, because it was lunch time and I didn’t need a foot long sandwich anyway.

A grilled Italian Sub sandwich made on a toasted burger bun, sitting atop a white plate, featuring melted cheese and ridiculous meats.
The Italian …Subwich?

Here’s what I did…

I preheated the oven to 400° and gathered all my stuff.

I melted some butter & EVOO with garlic powder, onion powder, & Italian seasoning in the microwave in a microwave safe bowl.

I spread the butter on the insides of the bun, sprinkled on a tiny bit of shake cheese, and toasted it inside up in the oven for 5 minutes on a sheet pan.

I took it out and poured some Sweet Italian Dressing on the inside of both buns.

I stacked the cold cuts, cheese, & veggies like this from the bottom up on the bottom bun: Turkey, hard salami, provolone cheese, ham, hard salami, jarred roasted red peppers, sliced black olives, shredded Parmesan from a tub,

I put a slice of provolone on the inside of the top bun.

I put it back in the oven for 6 minutes.

I took it out & assembled the sandwich.

I brushed a little more melted butter/spices on the top, and put it back in… this time on convection at 350° for two minutes because why not?

I bought it out and it definitely gave me mom n’ pop pizza shop vibes. Those slightly burnt edges make it kick.

My wife likes the Roasted Red Pepper Italian dressing & some mayo on hers. If you’re going to comment that you don’t like back olives, can’t eat roasted red peppers, or would add onions, lettuce, & tomato… I’ll lift the weight off of your shoulders and ask how you’d make this yours?

If you are here to say bread, meat, or cheese are not for you and/or ask what you can substitute, I’ll say “Bean Soup” to you.

I asked Gemini to pull out an ingredient list, and it did this whole ass thing, so I’ll paste it all below for the “jump to the recipe” crowd. It’s funny how it says to slice the bun like this isn’t the ~$1 pack of 8 from Aldi. It does know what “shake cheese” is though. Do other people call it that, or just me? It adds some wild stuff all inferred from my text above.

Ingredients

This is for one sandwich, but is easily scalable for a crowd!

The Butter Brush & Dressing

  • 1 Sub Bun (or your favorite hoagie roll)
  • 2 Tbsp Butter (unsalted or salted)
  • 1 Tbsp Extra Virgin Olive Oil (EVOO)
  • 1/2 tsp Garlic Powder
  • 1/2 tsp Onion Powder
  • 1/2 tsp Italian Seasoning
  • 2-3 Tbsp Sweet Italian Dressing (or another vinaigrette of your choice)
  • 1-2 tsp “Shake Cheese” (the grated Parmesan from a container)

The Filling

  • 2 Slices Provolone Cheese
  • 3-4 Slices Turkey (deli slices)
  • 3-4 Slices Ham (deli slices)
  • 6-8 Slices Hard Salami (layered)
  • 2 Tbsp Jarred Roasted Red Peppers (drained)
  • 1 Tbsp Sliced Black Olives
  • 1-2 Tbsp Shredded Parmesan (from a tub, for texture)

Wife’s Variation (Optional)

  • Roasted Red Pepper Italian Dressing
  • Mayonnaise

Instructions

1. Preheat and Prep the Butter

  • Preheat your oven to 400°F.
  • In a microwave-safe bowl, melt the butter and EVOO together.
  • Stir in the garlic powder, onion powder, and Italian seasoning. Set aside.

2. Toast the Bun

  • Slice your bun open and lay both halves on a sheet pan, inside-up.
  • Brush a generous layer of the seasoned butter mix onto the insides of both buns.
  • Sprinkle the insides with a tiny bit of the “shake cheese”.
  • Toast the buns in the oven for 5 minutes, or until the edges are just starting to brown.

3. Build the Base

  • Remove the buns from the oven.
  • Pour a drizzle of the Sweet Italian Dressing onto the inside of both buns—don’t saturate it, just a light coat.
  • On the bottom bun, stack the cold cuts, cheese, and veggies in this order:
    • Turkey
    • Hard Salami
    • One Slice of Provolone Cheese
    • Ham
    • Hard Salami
    • Jarred Roasted Red Peppers
    • Sliced Black Olives
    • Shredded Parmesan
  • Place the second slice of provolone cheese directly on the inside of the top bun (it will act as a shield and melt beautifully).

4. Melt and Warm

  • Put both halves of the sandwich (still separate) back in the oven for 6 minutes, or until the cheese is melted and bubbling.
  • Carefully remove the sheet pan and assemble the sandwich by placing the top bun onto the bottom.

5. The Final Kick

Take it out, slice it, and enjoy!

Brush a little more of the remaining melted butter/spices right onto the top crust of the sandwich.

(Optional, but highly recommended) Turn the oven to Convection at 350°F and pop the sandwich back in for 2 minutes. This gives you those amazing, slightly crispy, burnt edges that make the sandwich sing.

Oh yeah, did you see the soup?

…And what should I call this?

While we’re at it, which local pizza shop or deli makes your favorite Italian Sub? More than one answer is OK!

🌭 Dunked, Drunk, n’ Dried Dogs & Potato Wedges 🥔

Posted on by Standard Reply

There are way too many ways to cook a hot dog. Not long ago, if you suggested I boil some… I would politely have found the quickest way out of that conversation. This time I simmered the dogs in beer, then popped them in the oven on the air-fryer setting.

I blogged about cooking hot dogs in 2010 when I asked how you do it, & later listed a bunch of different ways, and I like to slip them in on the New Year’s Pork n’ Sauerkraut. 2010? Hell, it only took me 15 years to get around to suggestion #3. Were air-fryers popular back then? I think it was just countertop grills.

Then again, sometimes I get weird ideas that won’t go away until they come to fruition. Hot dogs aren’t my favorite food, but they’re fun to make different every time. If not grilling, I like to cook them in the oven, especially when cooking dinner for the family & wanting a whole pack cooked at once. This time I did something different.

Lager-Simmered Air Fried Criss-Cross Cut Hot Dogs & Crispy Potato Wedges!

Man, I miss the legendary Dormont Dogs.

After you read this recipe, tell me what you’d do different, or what you like on your dogs! Oh yeah. sides too. I wanted to use corn starch on the potato wedges, but I was out, so flour it was. It crisped them up just enough to keep it interesting. I was heavy on the black pepper, so they had a bite.

Oh yeah, I cracked open a can of baked beans too.

I used ChatGPT to sort of bounce ideas around, and it helped me make a plan.

🌭🌭🌭

Wieners, ’Taters & Beans (Oh My!)

🥔 Potato Wedges

  1. Prep
    • Cut potatoes into wedges, about ½” thick at the skin edge.
    • Soak in cold water 30 minutes (this pulls starch so they crisp better).
    • Drain, blot very dry. Moisture = soggy wedges.
    • Toss in a bowl with:
      • 1–2 Tbsp cornstarch
      • 2 Tbsp oil (olive, canola, or peanut)
      • Seasonings: paprika, garlic/onion powder, salt, pepper, maybe cayenne or smoked paprika for punch.
  2. Cook
    • Oven air fry or convection at 425°F (both will crisp better than standard bake).
    • Spread on parchment-lined sheet, not touching.
    • Cook 25–30 min, flipping halfway.

🌭 Hot Dogs

  1. Parboil
    • In a small pot, add:
      • 1 bottle/can Yuengling
      • 1 beef bouillon cube
      • ½ tsp onion powder
      • ½ tsp minced garlic
      • ¼ tsp ground mustard (optional, but yes it’ll add a tangy depth)
    • Bring to a gentle simmer. Drop in hot dogs, simmer 5–6 min (don’t boil hard).
  2. Finish in Oven
    • After parboil, move hot dogs to a rack or foil-lined pan.
    • Toss them in the oven (same rack as potatoes if you can) for 8–10 min at 425°F (air fry/convection), flipping once, so skins blister and caramelize a little.

🥖 Buns + Cheese

  1. At the last 2–3 min of hot dog oven time, open buns, lay on pan.
  2. Add cheese slices. Toast until buns are warm and cheese is gooey.

🔄 Timing Plan

  1. Start soaking potatoes → 30 min.
  2. Preheat oven to 425°F (air fry/convection).
  3. While soaking, prep hot dog beer bath.
  4. Drain & coat potatoes. Get them in oven first (they take longest).
    • Timer: 25–30 min.
  5. While wedges cook, simmer hot dogs in beer bath (~5–6 min).
  6. About halfway into potato time (15 min mark), move hot dogs to oven on pan/rack.
    • They’ll need ~8–10 min to finish, which lines up with potatoes finishing.
  7. Last 2–3 min: add buns + cheese.

Everything should hit the plate hot at the same time.

🌭🫘🥔

🫘 Drunken Baked Beans

A simple can of beans made rich with the leftover beer broth from the hot dogs. Deep, savory, slightly malty… it’s like BBQ beans with a secret ingredient.

Ingredients:

  • 1 large can of baked beans
  • ½ cup reserved beer broth from hot dogs (strained)
  • 1 tbsp brown sugar
  • 1 tsp mustard (yellow or Dijon)
  • Optional: dash of hot sauce or crumbled bacon

Method:

Taste and adjust seasoning — more sugar if you like sweet, hot sauce if you like heat.

Combine beans with broth, sugar, and mustard in a saucepan.

Simmer low and slow (20–30 minutes), stirring occasionally, until thickened and glossy.

👉 Extra Tips:

  • Flip wedges and hot dogs at halfway for even browning.
  • If wedges look done before hot dogs, crack the oven door and let them hang on residual heat.
  • You can reduce a little of the beer/bouillon liquid into a quick dipping sauce (mix in mustard/ketchup) if you want to go wild.
  • I added the beer/bullion liquid to the baked beans with BBQ sauce… not what ChatGPT suggested.

🫘🫘🫘

Needless to say, I didn’t follow that exactly… but I did toast the buns, & made the dogs to order. Mine had relish, my son’s had fresh jalapeño from the garden, my wife didn’t want cheese, and my daughter didn’t want mustard.

Dunk, Drunk, n' Dried Dogs
Dunk, Drunk, n’ Dried Dogs

I gotta buy some damn corn starch.

Crispy Potato Wedges
Crispy Potato Wedges

I used Yuengling, but I also would use Straub Amber, Penn Pilsner, Lion’s Head, or Smithwick’s. What would you use?

If you do make this, you gotta crank some punk rock Dad Shit. (The Amazon Playlist has more than Spotify.)

Zucchini Two Ways

Posted on by Standard 1

Like everyone who has a vegetable garden, or even just one potted plant, we have an abundance of zucchini. I was asking AI language models for casserole cooking times & temperatures based on what I had around & could easily grab from the store, and I sort of picked a hybrid of all of them. I used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, & CoPilot. Originally I had been asking about zucchini bread recipes, then asked about the casserole. It is interesting to bounce ideas off of them.

Zucchini Casserole & Pizza-ish Zucchini Things on a white plate.
“Zucchini!” (But, say it like a Jawa yelling “Utini!” in Star Wars.)

I had the idea for the lil’ zucchini things last time I made breaded zucchini & ran out of breadcrumbs before zucchini.

Zucchini Ditalini Chickpea Chikini

I hesitate to call this a casserole, because the kids are on a brainrot social media kick where they have been informed somehow that Crock⬩Pot meals & casseroles are bad. The best part is they both ate & loved it… one even went back for more. It was a hit with the wife too, and I’d eat it again.

Zucchini Ditalini Chickpea Chikini - the top of a casserole dish just out of the oven, with a nice brown crispy breadcrumb topping over gooey melted cheese.
Zucchini Ditalini Chickpea Chikini

I felt like making a casserole, but not making a mess by pre-cooking/par-cooking or measuring anything. So… I ended up making two 9″x13″ casseroles. Here it is to the best of my memory.

The ingredients:

  • 1 ridiculously large zucchini from the garden.
  • 1 Spanish onion
  • 1 orange bell pepper
  • 1 pack (1½ lbs.) of chicken breasts
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1 (16 oz./1 lb.) box of Ditalini pasta
  • 1 (15.5 oz.) can of garbanzo beans
  • 2 (8 oz.) blocks of cream cheese, softened (Leave it out for a bit, nuke it, or cradle it in your armpits.)
  • 1 (2 cup) bag of shredded white cheddar cheese
  • 1 (2 cup) bag of Havarti cheese
  • 1 (1½ cup) bag of Gouda cheese (Same damn size bag – thanks, shrinkflation!)
  • 1 (32 oz./4 cups) box of chicken stock
  • 1 stick (4 oz./½ cup) butter.
  • Breadcrumbs – Maybe 3 cups?
  • 2 Tbsp. minced garlic from a jar because elicits unwarranted hate.
  • Seasonings to taste – I used Rotisserie Chicken seasoning, Mrs. Dash’s Table Blend, Black Pepper, White Pepper, Onion Powder, Garlic Powder, Paprika, & dried parsley. Ain’t nobody measuring all that.

I was going to include some “bacon pieces,” but I must have left them in the store, or they fell out in the car, or I put them in a weird place or threw them out, because they absolutely are in what may as well be a pocket dimension.

The Method:

  1. Pre-heat the oven to 375°
  2. Grease apparently two 9″x13″ glass baking dishes with a stick of butter.
  3. Get two mixing bowls. In one, whisk the egg, then fold in the cream cheese, the chicken stock, the garlic, the (drained) chickpeas, about half of each of the shredded cheeses, the dry Ditalini, and spices in one mixing bowl.
  4. Slice up the bell pepper, onion, zucchini, & chicken in consistently sized cubes. (If you left the zucchini in the garden too long like I did, cut out the spongy center.) Put all that in the other mixing bowl, toss it with some more of all the spices.
  5. Mix the contents of the two bowls together as you string together new swear words and wish you have an even more ridiculously larger mixing bowl.
  6. Put those into the baking dishes. Or one big one, or a casserole dish, or whatever you’ve got. Cover with foil, place in oven, & bake for 45 min.
  7. Melt the remainder of the stick of butter in a microwave safe bowl. Or a microwave unsafe bowl if you’re an agent of chaos. Dump in some breadcrumbs and toss them in the butter, so the breadcrumbs are coated but not all gross. I used a mix of panko & regular. I did not measure.
  8. Pull from the oven, but leave it on, remove foil.
  9. Spread the remaining shredded cheese on the top of the casseroles, then the buttery breadcrumbs… and put it back in the oven. I swapped it to 350° on a convection setting at this point for 15 minutes… but you do you.

Notes:

  • YOU DO NOT NEED TO PRE-COOK THE CHICKEN, PASTA, OR VEGETABLES. You certainly can, and it may deepen the flavors and reduce baking time, but I wanted to do this all in one go. I checked the chicken in a few sports with an instant-read and it was a bit over the USDA recommended 165°.
  • I was going to mix the cheeses together at the end, but why dirty another bowl? I dumped them on almost somewhat evenly.
  • Obviously, cut out what you don’t like, add what you do, skip stuff, or add stuff.
  • I may try this again with bacon or ham… but there was a good bit of salt in all the cheeses already, and probably the chickpeas.
  • I may try this with shredded zucchini and maybe leaving the chicken breast cutlets whole on top. Maybe.
  • Ricotta instead of cream cheese may be good too.
  • Use chicken broth, bone broth, vegetable broth, milk, water, or whatever… just give the pasta enough liquid to absorb.

Pizzucchini Teeny Mini

Again, this was a quick idea I had last tame I made air-fried breaded zucchini and ran out of bread crumbs because the zucchini multiplies as I sliced it. I did it in the oven quick after I yanked out the “let’s not call this casserole a casserole.”

Melted cheese, some toasted breadcrumbs, & pizza sauce over a round slice of zucchini.
Pizzuchini Teeny Mini

Ingredients:

  • 1 normal-sized zucchini.
  • 1 (2 cup) bag of “pizza cheese”
  • 1 (15 oz.) squeeze bottle of pizza sauce
  • a bit of EVOO
  • Maybe ½ cup of breadcrumbs

The Method:

  1. Do you really need instructions here? I put the oven on 400° on the air-fryer setting. I didn’t pre-heat it because it was already running.
  2. I sliced the zucchini about ¼-inch thick, and put it on the baking sheet over a bit of EVOO.
  3. I dropped on some sauce, some cheese, and a tiny bit of breadcrumbs.
  4. I put it the oven for 15 minutes.

Notes:

  • What the hell is “pizza cheese?” It said that on the bag. I guess mozzarella & provolone? Please tell me in the comments that it is all plastic & slowly killing me. Maybe I should have read the bag.
  • I will probably skip the EVOO or get a cooking rack for the air fryer setting.

~🧀~

OK, so that’s it. Hit me up with suggestions, questions, love, or hate in the comments! Share your zucchini recipes, too!

I used Gemini to help prep Christmas Dinner.

Posted on by Standard Reply

I like to compare recipes and jot down a timeline for holiday meals. Hopefully you have seen my Thanksgiving recipes/method if that floats your gravy boat. I will be making my Cheesy Scalloped Potatoes (should I call them au gratin?), but mainly just want the cooking times & temps in an outline, & I’ll wing the recipe. I also want to make the classic Campbell’s/French’s green been casserole, but with fresh beans (& maybe added bacon pieces).

If you’re interested, here’s the conversation with our eventual AI overlords:

And, here’s the timeline it helped be create:

Do you also create notes or a timeline? Share it up if you have any tips or tricks on my meal prep, too!


Merry Christmas!

Will Teriyaki Tenacity Lead to Teriyaki Triumph?

Posted on by Standard 1

This morning, I was emboldened by a comment on an old blog post where I drew a maze and sent it to Conagra to accuse them of lying to the people about discontinuing their delicious Teriyaki sauce in favor of pushing a gross one filled with seeds.

Commenter Cory told me that there is a Change.org petition to bring it back. My most-likely delusional headcanon is that I definitely got Totino’s to change their microwave instructions. So, of course, we will push this forward so I can restore my Teriyaki stuff to its former glory. Here, we double-down on things that really have no consequence or significance. This is World (and Lunar) Domination.

The closest thing I have found is the Essential Everyday brand that I got from Shop ‘n Save, and there are always rumors of them closing and becoming yet another Giant Eagle.

If you’re also a fan of inconsequential chaos and delicious Teriyaki, please follow the saga, and sign the petition!

Others have awakened:

Also, try to solve the maze, and post in the comments or post it & tag me (& Conagra) on social media!