Tag Archives: Mazes

You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes

Posted on by Standard 2
You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes (Front Cover)

Well then, it’s finally here. I finished maze book number two! This one is better than the last one, I promise. The first was sort of a test run just to see how Amazon KDP works. I wholeheartedly appreciate everyone that bought that book, but this one just objectively looks better and much more time was put into its creation. It ought to be much more challenging and enjoyable, IMHO.

It’s called You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes. Thanks to @brain.d.37 on Threads for suggesting the title!

This book a collection of a bunch more larger mazes, and a few small ones that I have been drawing since late 2023. There’s no common theme other than most of the mazes have a silly vibe. A few have no vibe at all. There’s aliens, rodents, yard work, holiday stuff, rock n’ roll, a treasure map, food, retail aversion, gross stuff, & more.

You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes (Front Cover)
You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes (Front Cover)

I hope you consider picking up a copy for yourself, & maybe even one for a friend? If not, just sharing the link to someone who you think may enjoy it, or just sharing it in general would be awesome.

The link is https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F9Y7SFXS and I’d love if you could share it, review it, favorite it or save it to a list… anything to help even if you’re not interested in a purchase. You could give me a good (or terrible) review or add it to your list on GoodReads too, if that’s your thing.

I had fun making a collage with punk ‘zine vibes for the cover. I busted out the mixed media, printed on weird paper, got two cutting, ripping, & coffee staining… and unearthed the leopard & cheetah print tape.

All of the mazes were hand-drawn, scanned in, edited (& “solved”) in paint.NET, & put together with Open Office. I haven’t stepped into the world of digital drawing yet, and I like my free programs. Someday, I’ll probably dive into GIMP a little more.

You Can See Yourself Out: A Collection of Fun, Irreverent, Festive, & Wild Hand-Drawn Mazes (Full Front & Back Cover)

I love drawing the mazes, and it’s a great creative outlet like blogging or making music or playing out live. I’m sitting on a pile of old ones that I can convert into a book… but I need to make sure they’re all solvable and do the solutions.

Find the tone! Guitar amp stack maze collage.

Some are too big to fit on my scanner, and scanning with my phone has less than desirable results… so I’m gonna have to go somewhere like a FedEx Office store and hope they can help before they all disappear. I have a problem picking up any notebook that catches my eye and is the right price, regardless of size & paper type. I like the feel & the calming of pen on paper.

Some of the ones that I have posted here in writing goofy emails/letters to companies probably can’t be included because of copyrights or trademarks when I include their products. (Unless La Choy/Conagra, Pizza Hut, Sheetz, Dollar Shave Club, Pepperidge Farm, Disney/Lucasfilm & more sign off on it, or it falls under fair use? I guess I could have included this one or these two.)

I guess I did figure this whole thing out.

Because I have been excited about this, and I made a small collage with leftover bits, I popped up some new merch designs in my TeePublic & RedBubble stores with that new collage & the book cover images. I do have some older designs there with a few of the mazes that are featured in this book too. If you have an account & follow me on either of those sites, it may help my stuff get seen a bit more. I’d appreciate any form of liking/sharing/tagging if you’re so inclined!

TeePublic "You Can See Yourself Out" merch by AIXeLsyD13
RedBubble "You Can See Yourself Out" merch by AIXeLsyD13

In fact, check out all these designs from or inspired by the book, you can get them on all kinds of merch at each store! (I ordered a sticker, a magnet, a coffee cup, & a hoodie so I’m already in the hole.)

Cover & Collage Designs:

Mazes featured in the book:

So, what do you think? Any of it catch your idea? Any ideas for maze merch? Think you’ll pick up a copy?

If you happen to get something, post a photo or video of yourself with it, & tag me on social media! I’m @AiXeLsyD13 pretty much everywhere.

AiXeLsyD13 maze T-shirts in the wild!

Posted on by Standard Reply

Well. One.

I have sold a few, but I love being tagged on social media if you get one, like this post on threads.

Made a sale & got tagged on Threads!www.threads.net/@funnypunkba…It looks neat on a T-shirt!

— ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸 (@aixelsyd13.bsky.social) 2025-01-25T21:51:13.757Z
https://twitter.com/AiXeLsyD13/status/1883271326363996579

Check out all the stuff in my merch stores on RedBubble and TeePublic!

Hit me up on all the socials if you do buy a sticker, T-shirt, book, or anything. I’m @AiXeLsyD13 pretty much everywhere.

Oh yeah, I ordered my Ohio Valley Style Pizza T-shirt, too… and a sticker & some maze stickers. They look neat on stuff!

Will Teriyaki Tenacity Lead to Teriyaki Triumph?

Posted on by Standard 1

This morning, I was emboldened by a comment on an old blog post where I drew a maze and sent it to Conagra to accuse them of lying to the people about discontinuing their delicious Teriyaki sauce in favor of pushing a gross one filled with seeds.

Commenter Cory told me that there is a Change.org petition to bring it back. My most-likely delusional headcanon is that I definitely got Totino’s to change their microwave instructions. So, of course, we will push this forward so I can restore my Teriyaki stuff to its former glory. Here, we double-down on things that really have no consequence or significance. This is World (and Lunar) Domination.

The closest thing I have found is the Essential Everyday brand that I got from Shop ‘n Save, and there are always rumors of them closing and becoming yet another Giant Eagle.

If you’re also a fan of inconsequential chaos and delicious Teriyaki, please follow the saga, and sign the petition!

Others have awakened:

Also, try to solve the maze, and post in the comments or post it & tag me (& Conagra) on social media!

TeePublic Merch Sale!

Posted on by Standard Reply

TeePublic is having a sale, and they encouraged me to spread the word. I did on various social media platforms, and Ill post those here. I’d appreciate a share if you have the time or are so inclined, and it would be cool if you’re inspired to pick something up for yourself or as a gift!

Check out http://tee.pub/lic/AiXeLsyD13 for $16 T-shirts, and other merch for up to 35% off!

There’s also always my RedBubble shop and Maze Book, too. (I’m still slowly working on a 2nd book.)

Apologies for the shameless pug, but I have to get the word out somehow. I don’t pay for advertising, as the artist profit for print-on-demand services is pretty small. If I can simply fund my creative outlets, it’s a nice lil’ personal win.

@aixelsyd13

@TeePublic is having a sale, which means you can get my desings in T-shirts for $16 right now, g 9ther stuff for up to 35% off. Cheoc out my stiff, get yourself a treat, or donaome holiday shopping! http://tee.pub/lic/AiXeLsyD13 #Maze #TeePublic #AiXeLsyD13 #Pizzq #Christmas #guitar #cat #turkey #banana #Thanksgiving #LEGO #witch #🦃 #🍌

♬ Father Christmas – The Kinks

Threads: https://www.threads.net/@aixelsyd13/post/DCuBGbtxwut

So, TeePublic is having a sale, which means you can get my art on all kinds of stuff for cheaper than usual. It's mostly mazes, but I may occasionally do other silly stuff.tee.pub/lic/AiXeLsyD13Check out some unique stuff for yourself or for your holiday gift list! Maybe share too, please?

— ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸 (@aixelsyd13.bsky.social) 2024-11-23T16:25:35.045Z
https://twitter.com/AiXeLsyD13/status/1860351933292150951
https://nextdoor.com/p/9JPMNSTc3rxx

Check out these other maze artists!

Posted on by Standard 3

I have been slowly working on mazes for a second book, and contemplating how to compile my stack of older ones for a third. (Some of which have definitely ended up here over the years.)

I didn’t include solutions in my first book, as they are very small and relatively easy to navigate… and I was in a rush to kind of test the process and see how the KDP model of print-on-demand publishing worked.

I reached out recently on Reddit & Facebook to solicit advice on solving mazes, and got some great insight. (Check out r/mazes on reddit if you’re so inclined, there is a bunch of cool stuff!)

I learned that I draw perhaps a little more chaotic than some of my forward-thinking fellow maze artists. I generally keep a bunch of open paths from each end, then connect them. Sometimes, what I thought was an open path… is apparently not. I even just recently learned that at least one of my mazes in my first book is impassable – oops! 🤣

@aixelsyd13

Like mazes? I like to watch others do their art, so I thought I’d share this. #AiXeLsyD13 #Maze #Mazes #Drawing #LineArt #PenAndInk #BlackAndWhite #labyrinth #art

♬ Hocus Pocus – Focus

I plan to do better with this next book, to make sure all the mazes are passable, and to include the solutions. If you have any advice for a guy that doesn’t absolutely love solving mazes to solve his own mazes, please drop it here in the comments!

In my solicitation for advice, I realized that I have been seeing a lot of fantastic work by other people over the last few decades, and not sharing any of it. Here I will rectify that. Please, check out the following!

Check out these artists on Instagram too:

That’s a super random & not complete list. Please, let me know in the comments who we should all be checking out, especially if it’s you & your projects!

Is AI music toothpaste out of the tube?

Posted on by Standard Reply

So, I guess I had no idea that AI music was as advanced as it is. I assumed the stuff I saw on social medial was from paid or sophisticated programs. I have been monkeying casually with text prompts at ChatGPT or Meta AI, and image generators at DALL-E 2, Craiyon, & in the PicsArt app for a while. Luma AI even animates photos in the creepiest way possible. I have recently started messing with Google’s Gemini, too.

While the first two AI song generators that popped up when I googled did not require me to download an app or pay any money, I was able to have them bang out a song in less than a minute. The second one even let me insert lyrics, so I used ChatGPT & Gemini to write lyrics. Of course I chose punk rock, and the subject matter was just me poorly describing the blog. This stuff is wild.

The prompt was: “World (and Lunar) Domination” a punk rock song about drawing mazes and writing goofy letters.

For some reason, I can’t seem to embed these ones. 🤷

AI Music Factory automatically spits out 2 songs from the same prompts.

All of the songs are generic pop punk, street punk, and a weird attempt at some uncanny valley-ish horns. They are formulaic pop punk, of which I could certainly be accused of doing when I was actively playing in bands. The weird part is that is not all that dissimilar from my actual creative output. The lyrics have some interesting ideas & hooks too, if I’m being honest. Does that mean I am a terrible and generic songwriter? Perhaps my lack of commercial success in that area speaks to that. 😆

Self-depreciating humor aside, I feel like I have been involved in the creation of some fun, silly, & kick-ass music, and I was never really doing it for financial gain or recognition. It was an itch that I needed to scratch. I needed to make art via punk rock.

The above songs are derivative of a thousand different punk bands, but the one vocalist sounds oddly like Bad Religion. All of it is stealing from something though. Is it scouring the whole internet? Is it using Spotify, YouTube, Pandora, Apple Music, or Amazon Music? Is it creeping on hard drives in home studios or at record companies?

I feel like this is really close to having the ability to be passed off as a real band. It even reminds me of Crotchduster,

Is it theft, or inspiration? I would not have picked up a guitar and tried to write punk rock songs if I had not heard the Ramones & the Misfits doing what they did. Led Zeppelin’s entire catalog is arguably not entirely derivative of everything that passed through Jimmy Page’s earholes. (I mean, George Lucas did the same thing with Star Wars – it was just Flash Gordon, The Seven Samurai, The Hidden Fortress, & Dune.)

It can be argued that the music is soulless. I get that. I need music to move me in some way, in order to feel that connection. There are already lots of human generated songs out there that don’t really hit me that way. It’s terrible when a song evokes no emotion. I feel that way about Nickelback, even though it’s unironically cool to like them now. Ha ha.

In keeping with the theme of this post, I also used a bunch of AI image generators with various prompts about my blog, and got some weird weird wild stuff. None of them seem to accurately display text whatsoever at all… but the compositions, colors, & design choices are interesting. Is is stolen work though?

It was said that Robin Williams was notorious for stealing bits, but I have read/heard that he was always “on,” and just pulling in ideas and churning out jokes at a constant speed… he may not have realized that his thoughts weren’t entirely his own. But then again, were they? Everything we think, say, & do is a response to our own audio & visual input. (And, all the other senses.)

If AI is putting something out, and the way it “senses” is browsing the internet, what’s wrong with that? Is it stealing because it is not alive? Is it just a tool like a paintbrush or a calculator? Is AI song generation different than loops or sampling or guitar pedals that drastically change a tone?

Images generated by various AI image generators, with prompts pretty much just describing my blog.

🤘🐈‍⬛🎸

Because every single one of my thoughts also has an incomprehensibly tangential aside, I just did this as the idea came to me while blogging:

𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖍 𝖒𝖊𝖙𝖆𝖑 𝖐𝖎𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖓 𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖌 – I had ChatGPT write those lyrics a long time ago to be silly. It deleted the chat from the history as it found the content to perhaps be “inappropriate.” Luckily I grabbed a screenshot. I just used my last freebie at AI Music Factory to make this, and unlike with the other songs, I actually downloaded the mp3’s because I find it wildly amusing. AI plays guitar better than Kerry King.

A gothic metal style painting of an adorable black kitten dining with a fork and a knife, created by Meta AI as an album cover for a song generated by an AI song generator.
“FEED THE KITTEN” album art by Meta AI
Claws like razors, eyes like night My little beast, always ready to fight Hungry and restless, a bundle of fury I open the can, to feed the furry Feeding my kitten, hear her growl Tiny teeth and a vicious scowl Feeding my kitten, blood and meat Ripping and tearing, nothing sweet Pouncing and hissing, she's always keen Greedily slurping, the viscous cream Bones and gristle, she loves the gore My little predator, always wants more Feeding my kitten, hear her growl Tiny teeth and a vicious scowl Feeding my kitten, hear her growl Tiny teeth and a vicious scowl Feeding my kitten, blood and meat Ripping and tearing, nothing sweet Pouncing and hissing, she's always keen Greedily slurping, the viscous cream Bones and gristle, she loves the gore My little predator, always wants more Feeding my kitten, hear her growl Tiny teeth and a vicious scowl Feeding my kitten, blood and meat Ripping and tearing, nothing sweet My little monster, a killing machine Feeding frenzy, a fearsome scene No mercy, no pity, no retreat My kitten's hunger, can never be beat!
“Feed The Kitten” by ChatGPT

So, did I just write a song? No. But… I had the idea for one. It, much like my own artistic output, was a silly idea. (I was always sad that Gasoline Dion never completed songs that we were working on, including but not limited to “667, Across the Street From the Beast” and the ever poetic line “Let me put my meat hook in your beef curtains.”)

I just let my 10yo daughter hear the metal kitten song. She laughed and said it sounds like everything else I listen to (she’s a Taylor Swift fan). When I told her it was AI generated in under a damn minute & that ChatGPT wrote the lyrics, her eyes got wide and was all “That’s not good…”

She immediately understood the implications. Anyone could make a hit album. We could all be Milli Vanilli. Even better, you could probably create a video avatar of an artist or band. I haven’t delved into AI generated video past the tiny Luma AI clips.

Would using AI as a muse, or to flesh out partial lyric ideas be “wrong?” Are we in an era like the early days of sampling where soon someone will figure out how to give artists royalties for music or artwork being fed into AI? I know there are already cases out there. I also know you can’t copyright AI images. Not sure about music, though? I know Mötley Crüe was accused of using AI to write songs.

Will commercials, social media, radio, TV, & movies forgo traditional composers and just make their own jingles, scores, & soundtracks?

It was fun to play with, but do I like it enough that I will pay for it? I doubt it. I can’t think of a practical use for myself other than making a fictional band or something… and who would want AI generated crap content right now? If I paid to put it on streaming services (if you can even copyright it), how would that generate income or even be sustainable? Live shows would be (for now) out of the question. I don’t think it would “feel good” to put that out, like it does to release actual music you created. Maybe kids will dig AI music in the future… or our eventual robot overlords might.

Because I can’t stop, Luma AI animations of AI generated images:

OK, I went back & messed with Udio again. I found where you could pop in the kitten lyrics from Chat GPT. I do not like the output nearly as much, but it’s still pretty wild:

So, what are your thoughts on AI generated stories, art, music, & video? Are we in the wild west? Do you use any of it? If you do use it, what sites/apps, and to what end? Please, hit up the comments!

Oh yeah, those sites automatically generated videos I could download too.

Conagra Ruins Christmas.

Posted on by Standard 1

Well, the tweets from before were apparently incorrect. The La Choy teriyaki variety that I liked has been discontinued. I emailed Conagra via webform and found a bunch of names and tried to garner email addresses online, which worked on at least 2 counts. I also got some replies from various grocery stores.

No one tried the maze though. You read my email, right?

Here are my replies from Conagra:

From: Conagra Consumer Care consumer.care@conagra.com
Date: Tue, Dec 19, 2023 at 1:03 PM
Subject: LA CHOY Consumer Care Response: Case # 06631637 [ ref:!00D800cIJR.!500QU02afd0:ref ]
To: [me]

Hello Eric,

Thank you so much for taking the time to reach out to us regarding the La Choy Teriyaki Sauce. There was obvious passion in your correspondence, both for the former product you preferred and for the current product that does not meet your expectations. We’d like to offer some background and what we hope is a worthy alternative.

Previously we produced both the La Choy Teriyaki Marinade and Sauce that you enjoyed, and the La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade. With two similar sauces available, earlier this year we discontinued production of the La Choy Teriyaki Marinade and Sauce. We work with grocery stores and other retail partners to optimize our product assortment. Through these conversations, we often need to make decisions about discontinuing products. These are difficult decisions, as we know a discontinued product can be a disappointment to consumers.

We appreciate your candid feedback on the current La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade. This feedback was shared with our brand team and will go to our internal culinary team as well. Every piece of consumer input is valuable to us.

Within the Conagra Brands portfolio, we also offer PF Chang’s Home Menu, and we hope their Teriyaki Sauce is one that you’ll enjoy. PF Chang’s Home Menu is inspired by the tastes and high-quality ingredients of PF Chang’s bistros. The Teriyaki Sauce is part of a collection of sauces we introduced a few years ago, and if you’re interested in trying it, we’d be happy to send you a few bottles. If this would be ok, please reply to this email with your complete mailing address, and if applicable, please include the Unit or Apt. #.

Thank you again for your loyalty to the La Choy brand and the time you spent providing us feedback. Both are appreciated.

Sincerely,

Julie
Conagra Brands Consumer Care

Case: 06631637

1-800-722-1344

http://www.conagrabrands.com
Conagra Brands * Chicago, IL 60654


From: Conagra Consumer Care [consumer.care@conagra.com]
Sent: 12/11/2023, 1:43 PM
To: [me]
Subject: LA CHOY Consumer Care Response: Case # 06631637 [ ref:!00D800cIJR.!500QU02afd0:ref ]

Hello Eric,

Thank you for reaching out to Ms. Schaefer’s office to let us know you were a fan of our LA CHOY TERIYAKI MARINADE AND SAUCE.

From time to time we reformulate our product recipes, this also includes how consumer preferences change over time. Unfortunately, it’s no longer available but we’ll make sure to share your comments regarding your request to bring back the older formulation with appropriate personnel.

If you have any further questions, please don’t hesitate to contact our supervisors at 1-800-722-1344, between the hours of 9:00 A.M. and 4:00 P.M. CST, Monday through Thursday, and between the hours of 9:00 A.M. and 1:00 P.M. CST, on Fridays. Please give reference number 06631637 to the supervisor who answers your phone call. If a supervisor isn’t available, please leave a voicemail with your name and reference number. A supervisor should return your call within 48 business hours.

Thanks again for taking the time to share your feedback.

Sincerely,

Julie
Conagra Brands Consumer Care

Case: 06631637

1-800-722-1344

http://www.conagrabrands.com

Conagra Brands * Chicago, IL 60654

They really don’t get that I am never calling them. This is why I write goofy emails.

And updates via X:

I no tpe suh gewd.

And the only good responses from a grocery store…

From: Guest Relations guest.relations@target.com
Date: Mon, Dec 11, 2023 at 4:12 PM
Subject: Your Inquiry to Target.com Executive Offices
To: [me]

Hello Eric,

Thank you for contacting Target about your experience. I received a copy of your email from our executive offices along with a request to reach out.

Thanks for asking about this “La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade” we understand you are interested to know if we carry or plan on carrying this. I do apologize, but we do not have this item available in our assortment and at this time we do not have any additional information to share regarding future availability. To view the wide variety of other Teriyaki sauces we do carry please click here.

We appreciate you reaching out and sharing interest with this item. I’ll be sure to share your comments with our buyers.

Sincerely,

Mercedes

Target Guest Relations

Executive Contact Team
http://www.target.com

From: Melissa (Fresh Thyme) support@freshthyme.zendesk.com
Date: Sat, Dec 9, 2023 at 10:50 AM
Subject: [Fresh Thyme] Re: La Choy Teriyaki Sauce & Marinade
To: [me]

Your request (26880) has been updated. To add additional comments, reply to this email.

Melissa (Fresh Thyme)

Dec 9, 2023, 9:50 AM CST

Dear Eric,

Thanks for reaching out! The products available at our stores may differ by location. To find out if your local store carries (product name), you may visit our website http://www.freshthyme.com and search for any of your desired products.

I will forward this to the Store Director for the Bridgeville, PA store location for you as well.

Thank you for being a Fresh Thyme customer!
Melissa
Fresh Thyme Customer Care

Nothing from Giant Eagle, Walmart, or Shop’n Save.

You should try to solve the maze, & then post it & tag me on social media. I’m @AiXeLsyD on pretty much everything.

Or, you could buy my book or some merch.

Conagra Brands @ConagraBrands · Nov 20 Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. Both of these products are still available. Individual retailers make the final decisions about which products they will sell. If you cannot find a specific product you're looking for, ask your retailer to begin carrying it for you. ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸 @AiXeLsyD13 · Dec 18 So, I recently received an email from Comagra saying that the good version is no longer available. Who is right, them or you? Conagra Brands @ConagraBrands · Dec 19 Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. We're sorry, but our Teriyaki Marinade Sauce has been discontinued. Our Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce Marinade is still available. We hope this information helps and apologize for any confusion. Thanks for your interest in our product.

Seriously, what happened in a month?

ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸 @AiXeLsyD13 · Nov 19 And... I no longer see it on the #LaChoy website product page: https://lachoy.com/asian-cooking-products/asian-inspired-sauces Please, tell me that you DID NOT DISCONTINUE this absolutely infallible nectar of the gods? Conagra Brands @ConagraBrands · Nov 20 Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. Both of these products are still available. Individual retailers make the final decisions about which products they will sell. If you cannot find a specific product you're looking for, ask your retailer to begin carrying it for you. ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸 @AiXeLsyD13 · Dec 18 So, I recently received an email from Comagra saying that the good version is no longer available. Who is right, them or you? Conagra Brands @ConagraBrands · Dec 19 Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. We're sorry, but our Teriyaki Marinade Sauce has been discontinued. Our Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce Marinade is still available. We hope this information helps and apologize for any confusion. Thanks for your interest in our product. ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸 @AiXeLsyD13 · Dec 19 Thank you for the reply. I may have a memorial service for the best Teriyaki sauce ever. Perhaps I could buy the recipe from you? Did anyone at least try the maze? Conagra Brands @ConagraBrands Thank you for replying. We're unable to provide the recipe as it is proprietary but appreciate your interest in our products. Thank you again for taking the time message and enjoy your week.

La Choy Teriyaki Terror

Posted on by Standard 7

Foe several years now, I have had an increasing number of issues trying to procure my favorite teriyaki sauce. You know how it is, you find something you like, then it is gone! I have blogged about this before, but the situation is getting much more desperate as time goes by. I have written many goofy emails and letters. I have received swag from Pepto, Turner’s, & Radio Shack. I have drawn mazes and send them to call attention to supply chain issues with potatoes and cocktail rye bread. I surely am single-handedly responsible for the return of Bronco Berry Sauce, right? So, I have to try with my La Choy Teriyaki Marinade & Sauce.

I like to use it to make this Teriyaki stuff. Other brands DO NOT COMPARE. It scares me that it is no longer listed on the La Choy product page.

I drafted up this letter and maze:

Hello Friends,

I write to you today to invite you on a journey with me. The journey is the quest for the most absolute perfect Teriyaki sauce. You may find yourself wondering if it exists. I can assure you, it does… or at least it did. Over the past few years it has been increasingly difficult to find. You’re surely wondering by now, to which magical elixir I am referring? It is confusing, but I will try to explain: The original La Choy Teriyaki Marinade & Sauce is wondrous perfection, yet the La Choy Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce & Marinade is devastatingly abhorrent.

I know that “teriyaki” may refer to a style, much like “barbecue” can denote many kinds of sauces, but it ought to be a crime to label these two sauces with the same descriptor. “Ketchup” came to describe the sugary tomato-based condiment we all know today, even though at one point it could have referred to many different things including a sauce with fermented fish.

I have seen the words on the label move around in various orders, so I’m not 100% sure exactly what to call the sauce, or how to differentiate it by descriptor… but I can tell you that the darker sauce in the bottle with the same shape as your soy sauce is fantastic, and the other stuff in the salad-dressing style bottle with seeds floating in it is terrible.

Over the years, I have written to my local grocery store, and they said the distributor discontinued it. I had one local store that carried it, and they have replaced its spot on the shelf with a similar yet inferior brand that we would have called generic in my youth. I have reached out to Conagra on social media, and was told to use the product locator. The product locator shows that no one around here sells that sauce, and seems to indicate it is not available online.

The La Choy website that lists all of the sauces does not show the good style sauce, but only the gross style. Is this an indication that you no longer manufacture the good stuff? Google searches lead to one gallon jugs or full cases. I only need a few bottles at a time. Looking closer, it shows as “out of stock” on some sites. Are you having supply chain issues? Is it being phased out? Is it available only regionally outside of my region?

I am writing to implore you to get me some answers other than the stock “Yes, we still make it. Please use our product locator.” I would like some real concrete answers. I also plan to write to all of my local grocery chains.

Please enjoy the attached maze, to help you as you contemplate a suggested resolution to my quest. Are you able to let me know the names of any of the distributors or local/national grocery chains where I can reach out to request your product, or even independent stores? I am in Bridgeville, PA, USA… just south of Pittsburgh.

I would love email addresses, or even snail mail. I am not a fan of these constraining contact forms.

I look forward to your reply, and thank you for the many tasty dinners that I have enjoyed thanks to your delicious sauce. I won’t even ask for an apology for the terribleness of the other sauce, even though you really should apologize for it.

I thank you for your time and attention, may you have a joyous and cheerful holiday season this year!

Your Hangry Fan,
-Eric
aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com

A maze, with the object to help a cartoon AiXeLsyD13 find his preferred Le Choy Teriyaki sauce.
Help me on my quest!

I sent that to Conagra’s contact form, well, what would fit, but was able to attach the maze. I also sent it through Facebook and Instagram messages, and tried to reach out via Twitter (again).

I used a google search to find their CEO’s name and their supposed email syntax, and sent the message to several variations of his address. None have bounced back yet, but I doubt they will all go through. I did also email their media relations and investor questions email which I found in a press release.

What’s my next move? Snail mail? Other executives? Board Members? I plan to email local food chains & maybe even smaller grocers. How do I find their distributors? Should I snail mail these out?

I feel like I have been getting the run-around on this for years:

Christmas maze merch!

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If you’re taking advantage of Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, or Cyber Monday sales… take the time to consider some of my Christmas themed maze T-shirts from Tee Public or Red Bubble!

You can customize the color of the shirt, choose from many styles, and get the same designs on all kinds of merchandise like coffee mugs, stickers, and pillows.