The Clarks; “Producing ire” or “to admire”?


Nothing can polarize a random group of yinzers like discussing the Clarks.  A lot of people love them, a lot of people hate them.  There’s probably even more people that could really care less about the whole issue.  The reason I’m blogging about this is, well, it blew up when I mentioned my distaste for them on Facebook.  Everybody & their mother (literally in my case) has an opinion about the Clarks:

That Clarks commercial makes my butthole pucker...

That Clarks commercial makes my butthole pucker...

English: Gary Busey in Almaty, Kazakhstan in O...

"Wahooooo!"

Have you seen the Clarks’ Toyota commercial, or any of the Gary Busey Kia commercials?  Gary Busey is bat-shit-nuts, and I’d rather buy an inferior car endorsed by him.  OK, I’d really rather buy neither… but the Gary Busey commercials don’t make me want to change the channel, and they don’t make my butthole pucker.

I present to you some video evidence for your review:

Then, I posted a status linking to the first status, asking for help building my list.  It turned into chaos.  Don’t believe Joel below.  He’s a bit mischievous.  Tiffany certainly seems adamant about her love for the Clarks.

Help make a list...

Help make a list...

So, what’s the big deal?  Personally, I find their songs trite, corny, tonally bland, and their vocalist quite annoying.  My general line is that his vocals are the aural equivalent to taking a cheese-grater to my eardrum.  When I hear them on the radio I involuntarily sigh or roll my eyes.  Yet, I know some of their songs because (thanks to local radio) I have heard them ad nauseam.

The Clarks (album)

There's a penny on the floor from our last album sale residuals...

I understand that music preferences are an opinion, and that others are entitled to theirs.  I’m just stating mine.  There’s no need to get your panties in a bunch just because I don’t like the Clarks and you do.  I’ll try hard not to consider you hopelessly tonally-challenged if you happen to like the Clarks.

I get a feeling that a lot of people like the Clarks simply because they’re from the area and mention Fayette County in their songs.  Yinzers seem to like them because they’re on the radio, or because they’ve been in a bar when they played.  They appear to appeal to the lowest common denominator,  I don’t know how many people like the Clarks because they actually like the Clarks’ music.  When I ask someone why they like the Clarks, I get answers like “I saw them at so & so’s bar” or “They’re from here” or something about allegiance to IUP.  It’s never “I really like [name of song here]” or “I really like their song writing/guitar playing/etc.”. Again, this is my opinion.

Also my opinion…  This car has more musical ability than the Clarks:

It’s been told to me repeatedly that people in bands around Pittsburgh simply don’t like the Clarks out of jealousy of their success.  I don’t believe I’m jealous of the Clarks for myself, but I guess I am a hater on certain levels.  I hate that they’re representative of Pittsburgh music.  I hate that people with no grasp of the local music scene ask me if I know/like them when they find out I’m in a band.  I hate that so many other bands around here that deserve wider recognition go unnoticed and go without radio play.  At the same time, a lot of musicians that I know just don’t like the Clarks because they write & perform bad songs.  This undoubtedly fuels the ire.  Perhaps it’s “bandwagon” to hate on the Clarks?  Maybe it’s the “cool” thing to do?  Maybe we’re all just not tone deaf.

A box grater with multiple grating surfaces.

Scott Blasey

So, please, I’d like a discussion on the comments below, not on the Facebook post about this blog.  You can comment using your name/e-mail address/url, your Facebook login, your Twitter login, or your WordPress login.

If you like the Clarks, please tell me why.  If you don’t like the Clarks, please tell me why.  If you don’t care about the Clarks, you can let us know that too.  Let’s not resort to name-calling or devaluing anyone’s opinions.  We’re (mostly) all adults here.

Perhaps I’ll make another blog post soon trying to make a list of Pittsburgh local bands that deserve more attention & a wider audience.

Again…

  • If you like the Clarks, please tell me why.
  • If you don’t like the Clarks, please tell me why.
  • If you don’t care about the Clarks, you can let us know that too.
  • Let’s not resort to name-calling or devaluing anyone’s opinions.

Bands I find annoying.


It’s OK if you like these bands.  I just don’t.  I’m not going to offer any explanation.  I’m not saying that they’re not immensely talented or incredibly rich or famous.  With some of these bands, I’m no doubt in the minority.  Some of them are punching bags for haters everywhere.  I’m sure I like some bands that others may find absolutely terrible.  It’s fine if you’re a fan of the bands listed below.  I’m just not.  These are my opinions.

  • The Clarks
  • Nickelback
  • U2
  • Godsmack
  • Disturbed
  • Coldplay
  • Rusted Root
  • Phish
  • The Dave Matthews Band
  • Rascal Flatts
  • Jimmy Buffett
U2, Kalvøya-festivalen (Isle of Calf Festival)...

Bono

I’m sure I’m missing some.  I’m sure I’ve angered some people.  I just had to get it out there.  What bands do you find annoying?  What songs make you cringe every time you hear a single note?

A double number two! | Ernie and the Berts


So, we got 2nd place & Ernie won a special award: A double number two! | Ernie and the Berts.

AiXeLsyD and Gasoline Dion Mazes


I’ve obviously been in a maze mood lately.  I found some old AiXeLsyD & Gasoline Dion themed mazes.  At the request of a friend, I also made some AiXeLsyD & Gasoline Dion music available for download.

Help AiXeLsyD get to the American Music Café!

Help AiXeLsyD get to the American Music Café!

Download AiXeLsyD Vol. 1-3!

Help Gasoline Dion get to the Bloomfield Bridge Tavern!

Help Gasoline Dion get to the Bloomfield Bridge Tavern!

Download Gasoline Dion’s Loading Noise!

I’m going to have to make up an Ernie and the Berts maze!  At any rate, print these out, and try to solve them while jamming to my extinct musical projects, and send me a photo or scan of the completed maze!

The downloads are zip files.  If you don’t know how to unzip files, learn.  Also, check out my other mazes if you liked these ones.

✠ Dear Mr. Iommi, ✠


You’ve no doubt heard that Black Sabbath just announced that they were going to record an album of new material & tour with the original lineup…

You’ve probably also heard the news about Tony Iommi being recently diagnosed with lymphoma.  The band told us not long ago via their website that you could send get well wishes to Tony via email at getwelltony@black-sabbath.com.

I did that.

From: me@myemail.addre.ss
To: “getwelltony@black-sabbath.com” <getwelltony@black-sabbath.com>
Sent: Friday, January 13, 2012
Subject: – ✠ \m/ ✠ –

Dear Mr. Iommi,

I’m sure you have a grasp of your influence in the musical world, and on guitar players everywhere.  We look to you for not only inspiration as far as the most devastating guitar riffs on the planet, but also as a musician who’s resolve soldiered his band triumphantly through many decades.  I have read countless stories of your humility & friendliness.  I have several members of my family & great friends who have triumphed over the odds with various forms of cancer.  I have no doubt that the prayers, thoughts, and general good vibes of millions of fans, friends, family, and your brothers from Black Sabbath will only serve to strengthen your own personal iron will to defeat this disease and come out a stronger man.

Your music helped me learn to play the guitar, and whenever any people get together to jam for the first time, inevitably someone starts playing a Sabbath song, then another, then another…  I owe you a great many good times, sir.  I will pray for your health, pray for strength for your family & friends, & pray for guidance to the medical team entrusted with your care so that you may continue to have many more good times yourself.

Sincerely,
-Eric
.seitilibasid gninrael fo nuf ekam ot ynnuf ton yllaer s’tI

This is the auto reply:

From: Tony Iommi
To: me@myemail.addre.ss
Sent: Friday, January 13, 2012
Subject: Thanks for the Get Well Email! Re: – ✠ \m/ ✠ –

A short automated note to let you know that your email for Tony Iommi has been received.

Due to the overwheming crush of outpouring for Tony since his announcement on Jan 9th, please note that your email cannot be individually replied to.

It will however be read, and both Tony, and those who represent him are grateful for your prayers and thoughts at this time.

— Joe Siegler
www.black-sabbath.com

Rock on, Mr. Iommi.  Rock on.

English: Tony Iommi of Heaven and Hell perform...

IRON MAN

Guitar Lessons (Poster?)


This is awesome.  That’s all.  Not sure if this is the original source, seems to be everywhere.  You may have seen it already.  At any rate, I dig it, and I was compelled to share.  You can find some of these at a higher resolution, but I haven’t found all of the close-ups.  If you have more, please share!

GUITAR LESSONS - Master Class

GUITAR LESSONS - Master Class

New music from Snuff and Ann Beretta!


I’m expecting two killer albums from two incredible bands this year.  What do these bands have in common?  Well, almost nothing I guess.  (It’s 11 whole steps at BandToBand.com!) They’re both punk bands, but they really sound nothing alike.  They are, however, in my all-time top favorites.

My wife tells me all the time that every band that I talk about is my favorite.  But that’s how I am, I guess.  If I like a band, I really like a band.  I try to acquire all of their music.  I get into side projects & related bands.  I sometimes even look for live stuff & bootlegs.  Snuff & Ann Beretta are bands that have that hold over me.

I got into both of these bands right around the time I started playing in my first real band, AiXeLsyD.  I was really into buying punk compilations some time after 1995… and whenever ’98 or ’99 rolled around and AiXeLsyD was writing and playing shows, I was absorbing everything and these bands just lit me up.

Snuff

Snuff

I had purchased Fat Music Vol. II: Survival Of The Fattest for the Me First and the Gimme Gimmes cover of “Country Roads”, and was instantly drawn to Snuff’s “Walk” & “Nick Northern”.  I’ve blogged about them before.  I was hooked immediately.  They really blend pop, punk, metal, thrash, ska, soul, & anything else they feel like at the moment absolutely seamlessly.  It’s crazy.  One minute they’re blistering through riffs that could be on a Metallica album, and the next there’s horns or an organ or they’re covering the specials and there’s no “what happened?” feeling.  It’s just natural.

Snuff has been dropping updates via their Facebook Page, and it’s all great news so far…

Happy new year to all. UK tour in april and new songs on the way. oi oi

Excellent rehearsal, great start to the new year, new songs sound stonking, dead excited now. Looking to record at least 8 new songs by the end of the month.

Two more new riffs up at last nights rehearsals. One mod/thrash/pretty thingy and one dangerously retro 82 hardcore beast. oooooof!

I’m incredibly pumped for this, or anything that Duncan Redmonds puts out.

Ann Beretta

Ann Beretta

With Ann Beretta, I can pin it all down to one song.  I heard “Bottlecaps” on  Fueled by Ramen‘s Year of the Rat comp, and that was it.  These cats are incredible.  Hearing their songs is like being dropped right into the middle of a story, situation, or town that you know every inch of despite having never been there.  I’ve seen them more than once in the ‘Burgh, and have even road-tripped to Cleveland to see them.  I helped make buttons for them, and they crashed at my buddy (& fellow AiXelsyD bandmate) Andy’s place after a show one time at the Rex.  The music is not unlike Rancid… without so much ska & snarl, but with honest Willie Nelson-like storytelling.  These guys wear RVA on their sleeve, and certainly make their hometown proud.  Their cover of All‘s “Long Distance” is incredible.  (The original is of course flawless in its own right.) “Love’s Easy Tears” is one of the catchiest songs ever, and I love the chaotic ending.  “Russ’Song” always gets me going, too.  Inquisition, Sixer and Foundation are worth checking out too.

The major update on this front comes from the driving force behind Ann Beretta and Foundation, Rob Huddleston…. via Twitter:

https://twitter.com/#!/robhuddlestonva/status/156134190595842048

https://twitter.com/#!/robhuddlestonva/status/156513501798612993

https://twitter.com/#!/robhuddlestonva/status/156367138507063296

https://twitter.com/#!/robhuddlestonva/status/156788477420253185

Get it before it disappears!

And there’s some stuff on their Facebook page:

Drums for 8 songs tracked so far with @RobHuddlestonVA of Ann Beretta. 5 so or more over the next few days. Go like their new FB page www.facebook.com/AnnBeretta

Back in the studio today!

First round of mixing begins today!

3 months of bronchitis & finally back to the studio w Pedro Aida – Producer/Engineer/Songwriter to get back to some vocal tracks.

Fantastic.  This is going to be a great year for music.  Black Sabbath, another Slash solo album… maybe some Aerosmith, new DLR Van Halen.  Now we just need Nerf Herder, The Bloodhound Gang, The Teen Idols, The Eyeliners, Peelander-Z, Bars, & The Unseen to start making music again.

What do you think about Snuff & Ann Beretta?

What music are you looking forward to in 2012?

Rock’s Greatest Guitar Intros? (a.k.a. Another Stupid List?)


“Top however many of whatever” lists are designed to generate ire & promote discussion.  This one undoubtedly has in many circles.  Spreading around the internet like herpes, here’s the latest from some radio station somewhere:

What are The Top 10 Greatest Guitar Intros in rock?  Well, someone compiled a list and put it on the Internet.

All the songs were released between 1967 and 1990.

Here’s the list:

10.)  “School’s Out”,  Alice Cooper  (1972)

9.)  “Ain’t Talkin’ ‘Bout Love”,  Van Halen  (1978)

8.)  “Thunderstruck”,  AC⚡DC  (1990)

7.)  “Sweet Home Alabama”,  Lynyrd Skynyrd  (1974)

6.)  “Heartbreaker”,  Led Zeppelin  (1969)

 5.)  “Working Man”,  Rush  (1974)

4.)  “Layla”,  Derek and the Dominos  (1970)

3.)  “Suffragette City”,  David Bowie  (1976)

2.)  “Purple Haze”,  The Jimi Hendrix Experience (1967)

1.)  “Eruption / You Really Got Me”,  Van Halen  (1978)

Source: Wise Brother Media/ Radio 96.1

What?  Shenanigans I say!  I bet you say it too.  I mean, there are some stellar songs on that list, but also glaring omissions.  Some other yahoos are taking a poll.  Gibson made a list a while ago that grabs some more timeless tracks & grabs “Sweet Child O’ Mine” which would be close to or at the top of my list & really, who could forget “Crazy Train”?  And neither list makes note of the banes of guitar stores’ existence “Enter Sandman” or “Smells Like Teen Spirit“.  And where the hell is Black Sabbath?  “Sabbath Bloody Sabbath” has to be one of the coolest intros ever, among so many more.  What about “Welcome to the Jungle”?

If you’re gonna include “Sweet Home Alabama”, why not “Stairway to Heaven”, or even that one Pearl Jam song that’s all jangly and has that sweet tone where Vedder mumbles incoherently.  Hendrix’s version or “Hey Joe” or “Voodoo Child (Slight Return)”?

“Eruption”?  Clearly awesome, but it’s its own song, isn’t it, not an intro?  I mean, what are the rules here?  Why not just throw in some bass like “Bassically“/”N.I.B.” or “Anesthesia [Pulling Teeth]”/”Whiplash”?  A bass is arguably a guitar, right?

Nothing by Heart?  “Sunshine of Your Love” anyone?  “Start Me Up”?  “Hair of the Dog?”  No ZZ Top?  Nothing by Aerosmith?  No “Talk Dirty to Me?”  Ha ha.  Just making sure you’re paying attention.  What about some more metal stuff?  No Pantera?  No Slayer?  No Metalli-freakin’-ca?  No punk rock?  Well, I guess not a bunch of punk has blazing riff like intros.

What is rock?  Can rap or funk be included?  What about some crazy stuff by guys like Carl Perkins or Willie Nelson?

It’s clear my friends that we need to make our own list.  I dig Velvet Revolver’s “Set Me Free”, but I may be in the minority there.  Remember, this is guitar intros, not riffs.  I’m guessing we should aim for guitar-only intros, or we would all have to concede to “Rock You Like a Hurricane” for being the most powerful.   There’s also that one Avenged Sevenfold song…  it’s got a killer riff at the beginning, but I think there’s some drums right at the beginning.  If these are OK, is there room for “No Sleep till Brooklyn” or “Fight For Your Right”?

Start naming songs.  We’ll figure out some ground rules, set a number, set up some brackets & some votes.  We’ll even name it something classy like “The Actual Best Rock Guitar Intros of All Time (Not Chosen by Idoits)”.  Then, we’ll spark more idiots to have more useless arguments discussions.

♫♪ ☠ ♬♩

♫♪ ☠ ♬♩

Validate my goofy guitar habit?


So, not too long ago, I submitted some photos of my favorite toys to the Tone Fiend blog’s Mutant Beauty Pageant.  If you’d like to follow the saga at the Tone Fiend blog, check these posts out:

You can pick your 3 favorites, and list them in the comments here: Mutant Beauty Pageant: Choose the “Winner!” You can also email your votes if you’d like them to be anonymous.  Of course, your 3 favorites could be for all 3 of my guitars, but… I do encourage you to vote for your actual favorites.

No prize was apparent at the time of my entry, but now I see a nifty little custom-built Uglyface stompbox is being offered up as booty.  I certainly wouldn’t mind playing around with the little thing.  At any rate, it was cool that people got to show off their weird guitars, and we can all share in our inherent oddness.

Mutant Beauty Pageant: Choose the “Winner!”

Mutant Beauty Pageant: Choose the “Winner!”