Tag Archives: Music

Cover Album…

Posted on by Standard 13

“Someday” if I ever get the time, energy, & resources… I’d like to record a CD of some of my favorite songs with whatever kind of band I can pull together, or maybe even a varied assortment of musician friends.  Some of them are by bigger bands, some by locals, some by bands I’ve been in.

I’m sure there are more I’d want to include.  There’s no real reason to this, other than I think they’re all solid songs and it would be all kinds of fun.  Well, add any of the songs from my Ramones/Misfits/related bands list, really.

If anyone has better audio links for any of these… or any link at all for ones that aren’t click-able, I’d really appreciate your sharing of such things.

(I’d actually like to re-record most of the AiXeLsyD & Gasoline Dion catalogs, just because I think a little more attention to production could really polish some of that stuff. – Reunion gig or 2 anyone?  Ha ha.)

What songs do you dig enough to cover?  Any of these?  Ever hear of any of these?  Ha ha.  What would be on your album were you to do the same thing?

Tone Fiend | Mutant Beauty Pageant

Posted on by Standard 3

Cerberus the Turkey

Cerberus, the Darkmeat Knight

So, I entered 3 of my goofy beauties into the “Mutant Beauty Pageant” in Joe Gore‘s Tone Fiend blog at the Seymour Duncan website.  I have had people tell me they’re ugly, I have had people that dig them.  I’m just glad that we live in a world with so many available options.  Guitar beauty (& awesomeness) is subjective, after all.

You can check out the entries so far by clicking the triple-headed turkey, and you can also read the original rules post.  When you’re done with that, enter your weird guitar!  Yeah, it’s got to be yours… not something you just found on the internet somewhere.

I’m really diggin’ Dr. Soda’s “calm like a bomb” Explorer custom …thing.  I’d love to see some more photos.  Is that circuit board 3D?  I can imagine ripping my hand open on that… but then again, that would be one hell of a show.

Also, you’ll notice that Mr. Gore used my Batman guitar in the photo with the tri-topped turkey that I have dubbed “Cerberus, the Darkmeat Knight”.  How cool is that?  Funny part is, I just got a Seymour Duncan Distortion Humbucker to drop into it.

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Guitar stereotypes are always fun:

Posted on by Standard 17

So, where do my favorite toys fall on this amusing scale from Gearpipe?

GearPipe.com | Trustworthiness of Guitars Scale

GearPipe.com | Trustworthiness of Guitars Scale

I do have to say…  I don’t get why the Prince guitar is for repugnant individuals.  I guess if you’re not Prince, it is a goofy axe to sling.  I am glad that the boring Washburn/Jackson/Ibanez shape is all the way on the left though.  I just can’t get behind them.  I’m not sure why the oh-so-common Les Paul and Stratocaster shapes convey any level of trustworthiness of the player.  Perhaps I’m over-thinking.  This is quite amusing nonetheless.

Seriously though, I can’t find any of these…

Dewey Decibel FlipOut

Dewey Decibel FlipOut

Galveston - B.B. Stone

Galveston - B.B. Stone

Six Flags Batman Guitar

Six Flags Batman Guitar

If you’re quick and lucky, you can win a copy of this poster from Guitar Noize.

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Locksley is a class act.

Posted on by Standard 9

Last night Ernie and the Berts had the opportunity to share the stage with D.I.Y. wizards, Locksley.  First off, these cats exude cool.  They look like they just walked out of the studio at Sun Records, or belonged on the Chess Records roster in the late 50’s.  In full confidence of all my manhood, I can say that if I were a woman, and into dudes, my panties would have been thrown onto the stage last night.  The best part is that they lack the pretentiousness sometimes associated with such a look.

Locksley is self-described as “doo-wop punk”, but it sure sounds like straight-up super poppy rock n’ roll to me.  Part 50’s ballads, part garage rock, part “Beatles just slashed the speakers” kind of vibe…. I even picked up a little Who and maybe even Pinhead Gunpowder.

These dudes explode on stage.  After their roadies got them all set up, drummer Sam Bair took nonchalantly to the stage, sat down, and started pounding like a madman.  As everyone in the room was spinning their head to see what was going on… the rest of the guys hopped up on stage, picked up their instruments, and joined in with a catchy number.  Bass player Jordan Laz called us all to action, Eastwood Airline bass slung to the side; No feet were to be still, no hands were to be left idle.

They actually implored us to go downstairs during the second song, and try to bring up Smiling Moose bar patrons from downstairs.  Not even the incredible fans that drove in from Ohio donning homemade letter jackets and poodle skirts emblazoned with Locksley logos went downstairs as we was requested.  No one wanted to miss whatever happened next!

Hooky melodies with a beat meant to keep your feet tapping is Locksley’s thing, and they do it well.  Their self-titled record comes across as a little softer, more polite, and gentle than the live show… but make no mistakes, these guys are mean on stage.

Guitarist Kai Kennedy was channeling Johnny Cash in all black with his well-worn cream colored Stratocaster wailing crazy poppy licks, and sweating bullets from the get-go.  Lead vocalist Jesse Laz let bass player & brother Jordan handle most of the inter-song banter, then would step in to croon and make jangly chord changes with his Epiphone Wilshire… A commanding presence that reminded me of Morris Day in Purple Rain.

Locksley

These guys have crazy stage presence.  Any inter-song banter was backed by soft rocking that ramped up just in time to jump into the next tune.  Moves that had to be choreographed but looked like they may have had an organic origin peppered the set.  Microphone sharing with killer vocal harmonies was all over the place.  Everyone who wasn’t tied to a drum kit was in the audience at one point, dancing, rocking, and singing away.  Kai and Jesse locked into this weird grappling maneuver where they played each others’ guitars while spinning around looking like someone trying to get out of a straightjacket.

After the set, handlebar-moustached drummer Sam wouldn’t let me purchase a CD.  Instead, he gave me a stack to pass along.  We gave some out to those who had attended the show, but I still have 2 unclaimed.  Let me know if you’re interested.  The 1st 2 to claim the disc in the comments below, it’s all yours.

Erin “Ernie” Payne & Dave “Bert” (or “the other Bert”) Warren went to a Fountains of Wayne show in Philly a while back, and Locksley was the opener.  Erin really dug what they were all about, and set out on a personal mission to bring them to the ‘Burgh.  I’m glad he did.  I had a great time last night, and I know the whole shebang was a big deal to Erin.  From what I can tell, all of the guys in Locksley and their friends/crew are all-around nice guys who have a genuine love for the music, the stage-show, and the adventure of being a rock n’ roll band.

Stay tuned to Ernie and the Berts’ Facebook page to see photos of the show!

http://twitter.com/#!/LocksleyMusic/status/136883071373942785

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The path is clear

Posted on by Standard 7

GuitarSquid is awesome.  Sometimes, I wonder if I have too many guitars (or if there is such a thing).  Happily, all my answers quickly led to “Buy more guitars.”

GuitarSquid.com | Flow Chart: Do You Have Too Many Guitars?

GuitarSquid.com | Flow Chart: Do You Have Too Many Guitars?

It’s apparently as simple as this, my friends:

Got a wife? → Yes → How many pairs of shoes does she own? → 10+ → Buy more guitars.

I really do need an amp before another guitar though…

You can never have too many guitars

Impossible.

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The 12 O’Clock Rule.

Posted on by Standard 8

Bright

⦽

Solid advice.  Dave is my personal guitar Guru, most likely to his chagrin.  Read & learn, fellow axe-slingers:

Dig?

From now on, let’s call this “The 12 O’Clock Rule” so you can remember  it easily.  Next time you’re at a show, running sound, or setting up with your band… a friendly “Dude, ’12 O’Clock Rule'” should suffice to any knob tweaker getting out of hand.

Orange Knobs

⦽

I think the bass & treble cranked with the mids to zero was a Metallica thing, wasn’t it?  I seem to remember that being in a Guitar World or Guitar for the Practicing Musician article in the mid 90’s.  Everyone must have read that one.

On turning the gain back and still rocking hard, I give you Warp Riders by the Sword.  Case closed.  You just found the droids you didn’t know you were looking for.  Move along.

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Bar Band Show Timeline

Posted on by Standard 1

Dive Bar, Plate 2

Here again?

So, I recently posted a link to Guitar Squid’s quite humorous timeline of a bar gig.  Whether in a band, or going to see a band, we’ve all been through similar situations.  Here’s how it usually goes IMHO…

  • 8:00pm | Arrive at gig early to load-in because the flyer says 9:00pm.  (Assuming your GPS/Phone/Google Maps has brought you to the right place.)
  • 8:30pm | Finally get into the bar, because all the lights have been off & no one has been there.  Bartender looks at you like you’re a vagrant.
  • 8:32pm | Notice that there are no posters or marquees at the bar telling of the gig.*
  • 9:15pm | Band wives/girlfriends begin to get annoyed that no one’s there.
  • 9:30pm | Promoter comes in looking quite rushed, says that they want to start bands at 10:00pm.
  • 9:32pm | Start setting up.
  • 9:47pm | Get told some other band is playing 1st, so & so in 3rd band has to go work night shift, so you’re playing cleanup.
  • 10:00pm | Hear bartender or promoter tell band #1 to hold off, to wait for more people to arrive.
  • 10:03pm | Band wives/girlfriends have perfected the stink eye.
  • 10:23pm | Band #1 plugs in, and tunes… at full volume, no pedals/tuners.
  • 10:32pm | Band #1 gets the go ahead.  Vocals inaudible.
  • 10:41pm | Equipment malfunction on 3rd song.  Someone scrambles to change a string, get a new amp head, get a new kick pedal, or borrow a guitar.
  • 10:50pm | Band #1 resumes after finding a solution while someone form the band or the crowd sees the chance for an open-mic night comedy routine.
  • 10:51pm | Vocals now audible.  Wish they were inaudible.
  • 11:15pm | Band rocks on, stopping after the 3rd “OK this is our last song” song, to remark “oh, we didn’t play ‘such & such’ yet!”
  • 11:23pm | Band #1 on 37th verse of “such & such”, heading into extended solos.
  • 11:35pm | Band #1 is done, starts “tearing down”.
  • 11:52pm | Band #1 finally off stage.
  • 12:15am | Band #2 up & ready to go.  Inexplicably sets stuff down & walks off stage.
  • 12:16am | People who have come to see you have asked for the 497th time what time you’re going on.  Wives/girlfriends give them the stink eye.
  • 12:29am | Band #2 comes back, double-fisting beers… ready to apparently rock.
  • 12:35am | Band #2 has successfully cleared the room, they bill themselves as “performance art” and “experimental”.
  • 12:42am | Despite the experiment gone horribly awry, you realize so & so that was supposed to leave for work hasn’t done so yet.
  • 12:51am | “This is our last song…” starts out, with a story about the last song.
  • 1:01am | Last “song” finally ends & tear-down begins as your band is placing stuff on the stage.
  • 1:10am | Sound guy yells at you for taking too long to set up, bar owner says you have to be done by 2:00am.
  • 1:15am | You’re set up, plugged in, & playing.
  • 1:16am | Realize no one from band #1 or band #2 is in the room.
  • 1:30am | People looking at their watches… except the old guy who is almost on stage with you & is so drunk he thinks you’re his favorite band from the 70’s.
  • 1:45am | Old guy professes his smelly drunken love for your band as you decide which songs to cut from the set list & what to end on.
  • 1:55am | Tear down/clean-up.
  • 1:59am | If you can find promoter, he tells you he gave all door cash to band #1 or band #2  because they “drove in from B.F.E.”
  • 2:15am | Head to a diner to get some breakfast… because you sure won’t be awake during normal breakfast hours.

*This being said… it is not the bar’s job to promote your show.  Bands need to learn to advertise.  Promoters need to advertise too.  Take posters to the bar, I bet they’ll let you put them up, or even do it for you… but a marquee or dry erase board would be nice.

So, what does your timeline look like?

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Bar Gigs – Are you experienced?

Posted on by Standard 7

Guitar Squid | Timeline of a Bar Gig
Guitar Squid | Timeline of a Bar Gig

So, I found another amusing Guitar Squid article; Timeline of a Bar Gig. It made me laugh.

Lately, I’m digging all the stuff that I find at Guitar Squid, Guitar Fail, & The Guitarz Blog.

While amusing, their bar gig timeline runs completely different from one that I’d put together.  I’d like to make my own, maybe a little less jaded.  There’s several subsets of bar-gigs, and it depends wholly on the bar, the type of band, and the crowd.

Before I do that, I’d like to see yours.

It doesn’t matter if you’re in a band, just a person who goes to shows… or even the bar, promoter, or the sound guy.  I’d like to see the timeline from all parties involved.  If your drummer can read, is he tired of the drummer-bashing?

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Guitar World: The Top 10 Reasons to Quit Playing Guitar

Posted on by Standard 5

Guitar

This made me laugh.  I wanted to share with other guitar players and music fans:

Guitar World: The Top 10 Reasons to Quit Playing Guitar

Sigh.  Ha ha.

Happily, long ago I realized that I have absolutely no guitar chops.  I decided to just try to write solid songs & be entertaining.  Punk rock is my friend.

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