New Year’s Day Pork & Sauerkraut II


I came to blog my recipe then through a search, discovered I posted one last year! That was in the roasting pan though, and it was a pork loin rib half. This year, I put a pork shoulder roast in the crock pot… and made some dumplings 2 ways to go with it!

Crock Pot Pork n' Sauerkraut with dumplings for New Year's Day!
Crock Pot Pork n’ Sauerkraut with dumplings for New Year’s Day!

Ingredients:

  • 6 lb. pork shoulder roast 
  • 2 bags of sauerkraut (Beware, “Bavarian style” is a secret code meaning it has caraway seeds & tastes like royal ass. Unless you like caraway seeds or royal ass. I avoid it for diverticulitis reasons anyway.)
  • 1 bottle of beer. I used Straub Amber again this year, but I also like to use Yuengling Traditional Lager. (You could also use Penn PilsnerStoney’sShiner Bock, or Smithwick’s Red Ale… Don’t be ruining it with Budweiser, Coors or Iron City.)
  • Apple Juice (Maybe ½ cup?)
  • 2 Apples (I like Golden Crisp or Honey Crisp)
  • 1 Spanish Onion (Or a sweet or yellow onion or whatever you like.)
  • ½ teaspoon-ish Minced Garlic
  • Salt (or Season All / Seasoned Salt)
  • Pepper
  • Onion Powder
  • Garlic Powder
  • Paprika
  • Mustard Powder
  • Brown Sugar (Maybe ¼ cup?)
  • Pillsbury Grands Biscuit Dough

Instructions:

  1. Drain & rinse the sauerkraut, unless you’re into clearing the pluming from the top down.
  2. Slice the apples & onions then place them on the bottom of the slow cooker/crock pot, add that beer & apple juice. Add some spices.
  3. Put the roast in, fat side up. Add some spices.
  4. Cover it with the rinsed sauerkraut. Add some spices.
  5. Add that brown sugar sprinkled all over the top, Add some more spices.
  6. I put it on low for 8 hours & it was over-cooked & falling apart, but in a good way.
  7. Cook it to 145° F according to the FDA, 160° according to my thermometer with the numbers beside the pig icon, or 203° if you want it to fall apart.
  8. Cut up 4 of the Pillsbury biscuits into 4 pieces each, pop ’em into the crock pot on the last half hour. I sealed the inside of the lid with foil at that point because I read you should do that online. (Don’t burn yourself!)
  9. Let it rest a bit when you pull it out. That’s just good life advice in general.

I cooked the other 4 biscuits, also cut into 4’s, in my stock pot: 

  1. I tossed some beer, water, apple juice, & ham bullion into my stock pot, then brought it to a boil.
  2. I dropped in the dumpling pieces, and brought it down to a simmer. That’s about a 2 on my stovetop dial.
  3. I boiled for 10 minutes with the lid off, then for 10 minutes with the lid on.

Tips:

  • Damnit, I forgot to do this part: Sear the pork roast on all sides. I used a large fork to control it along with some tongs. I used a hot pan with a tiny bit of extra virgin olive oil & a pat of butter. You just want to sear the outsides, not cook the meat. I did add a bit of seasonings first.
  • I put onion powder on the apple slices and garlic powder on the onion slices… because why not? Does anyone else do stuff this?
  • You could try to roast it.
  • I liked the dumplings from the crock pot more than the ones from the stock pot. they were more fluffy/biscuity and less… wet. They both tasted pretty good & were certainly edible though.

What are your New Year’s traditions and recipes? Did you see my New Year’s appetizers? I’ll take any & all tips on dumplings! I haven’t had luck with the Bisquick variety and I never tried scratch.

Cocktail Rye Bread Appetizers


So, did you read my rant and see my maze when Pepperidge Farm stopped making their cocktail-sized rye bread? Giant Eagle must have heard me, because they had S. Rosen’s Rye & Pumpernickel in stock this year. Sadly, their rye isn’t seedless, but I made due with the pumpernickel.

At any rate, this is what we use them to make:

Here’s a very fast & loose recipe/method:

Get it:

  • Cocktail Rye bread and/or Cocktail Pumpernickel bread.
  • Bag of shredded cheese – we got Swiss & Gruyere. Havarti, Swiss, Mozzarella, or Provolone would be fine.
  • Mayonnaise and/or Miracle Whip.
  • Lemon Pepper
  • Thousand Island dressing
  • Sauerkraut
  • Corned Beef lunch meat

Do it:

  • To start both, we mix 2 cups of shredded Swiss & Gruyere cheese with a few Tablespoons of mayo. I’ll use Miracle Whip too.
  • I put the cheese mixture right on the rye, & sprinkled on some lemon pepper.
  • I put some corned beef lunch meat on the Pumpernickel.
  • I put both on to a baking sheet that has a baking rack, and put it into a pre-heated oven at 375° on the air fryer setting for 5 minutes.
  • Took ’em out and the lemon-pepper rye ones were done.
  • I added Thousand Island dressing, sauerkraut, & the cheese mixture to the Reuben ones and put ’em back in for 3 minutes at the same temp & on the same setting.

They’re always crowd-pleasers, and you really can top them any way you like. You can just bake ’em too, or use a counter-top air fryer. My wife brought them to me as a tradition from her family, I made Reuben ones, because… Reubens, am I right?

And remember, I’m always right.

Pumpernickel is cool because it essentially is named for the devil’s farts… and if that’s not cool, I don’t know what is. This is also code in my household for “I am always right.” I told my wife the name origin behind it, she said there was no way, Googled it… and, like I said… I am always right.

Me – from the old Rye bread post.

New Year’s Day Pork & Sauerkraut


There are many traditions used to celebrate the new year. One we always did was have pork.

Roast Pork Loin Rib Half
Good Luck New Year’s Day Pork Roast AiXeLsyD13-style.

Generally, I cook it in the crock pot, but this year I tried it in the roasting pan in the oven. I’m posting my recipe/method here so I can refer back to it. Hopefully you might like it too, and you may want to check out my other recipes.

Ingredients:

  • 8 lb. pork loin (The one I got this year said “pork loin rib half”.)
  • 2 bags of sauerkraut (Beware, “Bavarian style” is a secret code meaning it has caraway seeds & tastes like royal ass. Unless you like caraway seeds or royal ass. I avoid it for diverticulitis reasons anyway.)
  • 1 bottle of beer. I used Straub Amber, but I also like to use Yuengling Traditional Lager. (You could also use Penn Pilsner, Stoney’s, Shiner Bock, or Smithwick’s Red Ale.)
  • Apple Juice (Maybe ½ cup?)
  • 2 Apples (I like Golden Crisp or Honey Crisp)
  • 1 Spanish Onion (Or a sweet or yellow onion or whatever you like.)
  • ½ teaspoon-ish Minced Garlic
  • Salt (or Season All / Seasoned Salt)
  • Pepper
  • Onion Powder
  • Garlic Powder
  • Paprika
  • Mustard Powder
  • Brown Sugar (Maybe ¼ cup?)

Instructions:

  1. Pre-heat the oven to 350°.
  2. Drain & rinse the sauerkraut, unless you’re in need of an intestinal cleanse.
  3. Sear the pork roast on all sides. I used a large fork to control it along with some tongs. I used a hot pan with a tiny bit of extra virgin olive oil & a pat of butter. You just want to sear the outsides, not cook the meat. I did add a bit of seasonings first.
  4. Pop it into your roasting pan. Add some of those spices to taste.
  5. slice the apples & onions then place them around the sides, cover it with the rinsed sauerkraut, bathe it with that glorious beer & apple juice.
  6. Put some more spices on the roast again because you just washed them off. Don’t measure them. Live dangerously.
  7. Put your food thermometer in, put the lid on, & pop it in the oven. You have a food thermometer right?
  8. Cook it to 145° F according to the FDA, 160° according to my thermometer with the numbers beside the pig icon, or 203° if you want it to fall apart.
  9. From what I read online it could be anywhere from 20 to 30 min per lb. Instead of popping it out & checking with an instant read, get a thermometer that can stay in.
  10. Let it rest a bit when you pull it out. That’s just good life advice in general.
  11. I mixed the brown sugar into the sauerkraut after I pulled the roast out. I didn’t measure. I read that was to prevent it caramelizing & burning too much… but I think it would have been fine in there the whole time.

Tips:

  • I put onion powder on the apple slices and garlic powder on the onion slices… because why not? Does anyone else do stuff this?
  • You could probably do this at 300° or 325° if you felt like it. Cook to temperature not time.
  • You could throw all this into the crock pot (if it will fit!), or go with a smaller roast to do the same. I’d guess low on 8 or 10 hours would do it. Again, that’s what I usually do. Maybe go half the bottle of beer & drink the other half for breakfast.
  • Thinking back, I think I put a half a bit of ham bullion (or better than bullion) in there too. I do that instead of salt sometimes.

What’s the deal with all the other not pork on that plate?

  • Steamed green beans with a bit of garlic, butter, & parmesan cheese.
  • Boxed mashed potatoes – I used buttermilk instead of milk. While nothing beats the real thing… I like the boxed potatoes because I like potatoes with a consistency that you could use to mortar bricks together, or build a structure like in Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Those Bob Evans microwave potatoes might as well be potato soup. Also, buttermilk is the best.
  • I tried those hot dogs in the air fryer for the first time. I put slits in the top, then did 6 minutes at 400° and they were awesome. I did the bun for 2 minutes at 375° because I read some stupid blog, and that may have been to hot or too long. That should teach you a lesson about following recipes on a blog.
  • I served the hot dog on that bun (brushed with a little melted butter before air frying), with yellow mustard & some of the sauerkraut & pulled pork. I had one the next day & it was even better. That may be better than chili dogs!

I think the family liked it, or they pretended to. The 9yo liked the sauerkraut, the 7yo did not. Funny because the 7yo has been digging mushrooms and onions as of late, and he’s my dude that digs buttermilk. It may be a texture thing? I am weird about some textures.

Tell me about your pork recipes or new year’s traditions in the comments!

I always thought we were a bit German, but my Ancestry DNA test does not agree with that. We must have picked up the traditions from German or “Pennsylvania Dutch” friends & neighbors here in the region.

I’m glad this is not a tradition.

Also, if you like your sauerkraut without the brown sugar, I get that. If you like it with caraway seeds, I’m sorry your taste buds are broken.

If you line this recipe, you may like these:

Horrible Christmas Presents…


So if you’re looking for a Christmas, Hanukkah, Ramadan, Kwanzaa or Festivus gift… You may not want to go with these, unless you’re trying to give some kind of hint that you don’t like the recipient. I’ve heard them advertised on the radio lately, and they’re both just ridiculous.

Go nuts over Fresh Balls!

Go nuts over Fresh Balls!

Fresh Balls – “So Fresh. So Dry.” | It is what it sounds like. Some kind of deodorant, lotion, or talc for application to your apparently sweaty coin purse.  Maybe I’m not active or sweaty enough, but I’ve never considered this a real problem.  They advertise buying it for someone as a gift.  Who’s damp smelly package are you close to on a regular basis?  I have some good friends, and I’ve thankfully never smelled their family jewels.  If I ever do smell someone’s nether-regions, I’ll be sure to tell them about Fresh Balls.

✔ Badass colors ✔ Badass patterns ✔ Badass warranty

✔ Badass colors ✔ Badass patterns ✔ Badass warranty

Seats of Anarchy – “Custom toilet seats for hard asses.” | I love some good terrible wordplay, but the name is almost as atrocious as the idea. I’ve never watched Sons of Anarchy, but do they poop a lot?  If they did, I could see the point to this then.  If your man cave is your bathroom… maybe this would be appropriate?  Someone better get their Copyright and/or Trademark lawyers on this pretty quickly.  Nothing says badass like a camouflage toilet seat, or one with barbed wire.  Guarantee that all your guests will hover!  “Designer” toilet seats for manly men and bikers…  It sounds like a crappy idea.  Get it?  Crappy?  Toilet seat?  Ugh.

So, what have you seen lately what would make a horrible holiday present?  Anything as bad as (or worse than) these?