Italian …Subwich? Submursible?


This is becoming a trend. I want to make a sandwich and don’t have the appropriate bread or bun. Thankfully, this lack of planning for a meatball sub brought forth the almighty Meatball Club (the Meatball Melt isn’t bad either). This was not a bad alternative, if I do say so myself.

Did you get yourself a The Meatball Club T-shirt yet? Maybe I should trademark that.

I made some of my grilled chicken noodle soup that we had with a salad for dinner last night. I had some leftovers for lunch today and wanted a lil’ sandwich to go with it. Not much beats a local mom n’ pop pizza shop Italian Sub. I had some almost sort of close enough ingredients in the house, so I crafted my own.

In my humble opinion, the key to a great local sub shop Italian Sub is the toasting. The second key is to call it a sub and not a hoagie, grinder, hero or whatever other word yinz have for it. Maybe this would be less a Subwich and more a Submersible?

I didn’t have a sub roll, but I did have the super cheap hamburger buns. That worked, because it was lunch time and I didn’t need a foot long sandwich anyway.

A grilled Italian Sub sandwich made on a toasted burger bun, sitting atop a white plate, featuring melted cheese and ridiculous meats.
The Italian …Subwich?

Here’s what I did…

I preheated the oven to 400ยฐ and gathered all my stuff.

I melted some butter & EVOO with garlic powder, onion powder, & Italian seasoning in the microwave in a microwave safe bowl.

I spread the butter on the insides of the bun, sprinkled on a tiny bit of shake cheese, and toasted it inside up in the oven for 5 minutes on a sheet pan.

I took it out and poured some Sweet Italian Dressing on the inside of both buns.

I stacked the cold cuts, cheese, & veggies like this from the bottom up on the bottom bun: Turkey, hard salami, provolone cheese, ham, hard salami, jarred roasted red peppers, sliced black olives, shredded Parmesan from a tub,

I put a slice of provolone on the inside of the top bun.

I put it back in the oven for 6 minutes.

I took it out & assembled the sandwich.

I brushed a little more melted butter/spices on the top, and put it back in… this time on convection at 350ยฐ for two minutes because why not?

I bought it out and it definitely gave me mom n’ pop pizza shop vibes. Those slightly burnt edges make it kick.

My wife likes the Roasted Red Pepper Italian dressing & some mayo on hers. If you’re going to comment that you don’t like back olives, can’t eat roasted red peppers, or would add onions, lettuce, & tomato… I’ll lift the weight off of your shoulders and ask how you’d make this yours?

If you are here to say bread, meat, or cheese are not for you and/or ask what you can substitute, I’ll say “Bean Soup” to you.

I asked Gemini to pull out an ingredient list, and it did this whole ass thing, so I’ll paste it all below for the “jump to the recipe” crowd. It’s funny how it says to slice the bun like this isn’t the ~$1 pack of 8 from Aldi. It does know what “shake cheese” is though. Do other people call it that, or just me? It adds some wild stuff all inferred from my text above.

Ingredients

This is for one sandwich, but is easily scalable for a crowd!

The Butter Brush & Dressing

  • 1 Sub Bun (or your favorite hoagie roll)
  • 2 Tbsp Butter (unsalted or salted)
  • 1 Tbsp Extra Virgin Olive Oil (EVOO)
  • 1/2 tsp Garlic Powder
  • 1/2 tsp Onion Powder
  • 1/2 tsp Italian Seasoning
  • 2-3 Tbsp Sweet Italian Dressing (or another vinaigrette of your choice)
  • 1-2 tsp “Shake Cheese” (the grated Parmesan from a container)

The Filling

  • 2 Slices Provolone Cheese
  • 3-4 Slices Turkey (deli slices)
  • 3-4 Slices Ham (deli slices)
  • 6-8 Slices Hard Salami (layered)
  • 2 Tbsp Jarred Roasted Red Peppers (drained)
  • 1 Tbsp Sliced Black Olives
  • 1-2 Tbsp Shredded Parmesan (from a tub, for texture)

Wife’s Variation (Optional)

  • Roasted Red Pepper Italian Dressing
  • Mayonnaise

Instructions

1. Preheat and Prep the Butter

  • Preheat your oven to 400ยฐF.
  • In a microwave-safe bowl, melt the butter and EVOO together.
  • Stir in the garlic powder, onion powder, and Italian seasoning. Set aside.

2. Toast the Bun

  • Slice your bun open and lay both halves on a sheet pan, inside-up.
  • Brush a generous layer of the seasoned butter mix onto the insides of both buns.
  • Sprinkle the insides with a tiny bit of the “shake cheese”.
  • Toast the buns in the oven for 5 minutes, or until the edges are just starting to brown.

3. Build the Base

  • Remove the buns from the oven.
  • Pour a drizzle of the Sweet Italian Dressing onto the inside of both bunsโ€”don’t saturate it, just a light coat.
  • On the bottom bun, stack the cold cuts, cheese, and veggies in this order:
    • Turkey
    • Hard Salami
    • One Slice of Provolone Cheese
    • Ham
    • Hard Salami
    • Jarred Roasted Red Peppers
    • Sliced Black Olives
    • Shredded Parmesan
  • Place the second slice of provolone cheese directly on the inside of the top bun (it will act as a shield and melt beautifully).

4. Melt and Warm

  • Put both halves of the sandwich (still separate) back in the oven for 6 minutes, or until the cheese is melted and bubbling.
  • Carefully remove the sheet pan and assemble the sandwich by placing the top bun onto the bottom.

5. The Final Kick

Take it out, slice it, and enjoy!

Brush a little more of the remaining melted butter/spices right onto the top crust of the sandwich.

(Optional, but highly recommended) Turn the oven to Convection at 350ยฐF and pop the sandwich back in for 2 minutes. This gives you those amazing, slightly crispy, burnt edges that make the sandwich sing.

Oh yeah, did you see the soup?

…And what should I call this?

While we’re at it, which local pizza shop or deli makes your favorite Italian Sub? More than one answer is OK!

Carbs. Cabbage. Canned Beef. | O’Luski


So, I was hungry for corned beef & cabbage, …and I was hungry for haluski. That’s cabbage n’ noodles for the non-Yinzers or those with no Eastern European heritage. I am not Polish by descent or any of the ethnicities that gave us wonderful gifts like pierogies, halupki or the one where cottage cheese is in with the cabbage & noodles. (What is that called again?) In the immortal words of the young lady from the taco shell commercial, “Why not both?”

I am a bit Irish according to my DNA analysis & my surname. If I understand it right… corned beef & cabbage is an Irish-American invention, as back in Ireland it would most certainly be bacon… and the corned beef may have been adopted from the Jewish community. Sometimes you have a hankering for the canned stuff, not a “real” corned brisket.

Typically, I’d probably make this all in the skillet… and these store-bought noodles are nowhere as good as the ladies cooking at a church carnival, but I can make due with what I could get from Aldi. I saw some stuff online suggesting to finish up haluski in the oven. So, why not?

Canned meat, Cabbage, Carbs. I present to you the hottest new trend in Irish-American/Polish Fusion cuisine; O’Luski.

I had ChatGPT help me put together a recipe after I described my method, I still had to tweak it thoiugh. It filled 2 glass 9″x13″ baking dishes. I only put the corned beef on top of one.

Oโ€™Luski: Pittsburgh Polish/Irish Cabbage n’ Noodle Corned Beef Casserole

Ingredients:

  • 1 small head green cabbage, cored and sliced
  • 2 medium onions, sliced
  • 16 oz. bag of wide egg noodles
  • 2 sticks unsalted butter
  • 2 cans corned beef
  • Salt, black pepper, paprika, onion powder, & garlic powder to taste.
  • 1 tsp. ham soup base
  • 1 cube chicken bouillon

Instructions:

  1. Preheat oven to 300ยฐF.
  2. Cook the egg noodles until tender in water with the ham soup base & chicken bouillon, drain, and toss with a couple tablespoons of butter. Set aside.
  3. While the noodles are cooking… Slice the canned corned beef, fry in a skillet on medium-high heat to crisp up the patties. Take them out & set aside. (I did crumble up a bit of the corned beef & leave it in the pan.
  4. Melt 1 stick butter in the same skillet over medium-low to medium heat. Add the onions and cook until starting to turn translucent to brown.
  5. Add the cabbage to the skillet with the other stick of butter, season with salt and pepper, and cook until tender and lightly caramelized.
  6. Combine the cooked noodles with the cabbage and onions, mixing well. Transfer the mixture to two buttered 9×13″ baking dishes.
  7. Scatter the crisped corned beef over the top. Bake uncovered at 300ยฐF for 25โ€“30 minutes. I put corned beef on top of one dish, and left the other just mostly cabbage & noodles.
  8. Let rest a few minutes before serving. Optionally, top with a final pat of butter for extra richness.

Notes:

  • I season with everything just about every step of the way… light on salt because of the corned beef & the bouillon. I probably used Mrs. Dash Table Blend too.
  • AI kept suggesting acid like vinegar or lemon juice. This is not the dish for that. ๐Ÿคฃ No caraway seeds either. This is comfort food.

German-Style Hot Potato Salad


I was in a cooking mood last weekend, and I tried out some hot German style potato salad. As usual, I googled recipes, solicited advice on Threads, and even bounced stuff off of LLM’s. I came up with the recipe below, and it paired nice with some Reubens. The bread on the Reubens was less than stellar. I need to get some better rye, & make sure it’s still seedless. (Thanks, diverticulitis!) Maybe marbled or Pumpernickel is the way to go? I’m not much of a baker, unless it’s as easy as the Cheesy Beer Bread.

Hot German-Style Potato Salad

OK. So here’s what I did:

Ingredients

  • 2 lbs. red potatoes
  • 10 strips thick-cut bacon, chopped
  • 1/2 of a Spanish onion, finely diced
  • 1/2 cup chicken broth
  • 1/4 cup white vinegar
  • 1 tablespoon sugar
  • 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
  • 1 teaspoon ground mustard
  • Salt, Pepper, Onion Powder, & Garlic Powder to taste
  • Dried parsley to taste
  • Fresh chopped parsley

Instructions

  1. Put the whole potatoes in a large pot and cover with about 1 to 2 inches of cold, salted water (or chicken broth for extra flavor). Bring to a boil and cook until the potatoes are tender when pierced with a fork, about 15-20 minutes. Drain the potatoes well and set them aside. (Next time I will add the other half of the onion here. I did add a bit of ham bullion to the water.)
  2. While the potatoes are cooking, place the chopped bacon in a large skillet or pan over medium-low heat. Cook until the bacon is crispy, stirring occasionally to ensure even cooking. Using a slotted spoon, remove the bacon pieces and place them on a paper towel-lined plate to drain, but leave the rendered bacon grease in the skillet. (I may have snuck in a tiny bit of butter here.) This seemingly takes forever but is worth it. I seasoned the bacon with onion powder, garlic powder, & black pepper.
  3. Add the diced onion to the skillet with the bacon grease. Cook over medium heat, stirring often, until the onion is soft & translucent.
  4. To the skillet with the onions and bacon grease, add the chicken broth, white vinegar, sugar, Dijon mustard, and ground mustard. Whisk the mixture to combine. Bring the dressing to a simmer and let it cook for about 2 minutes to allow the flavors to meld. Season with salt and pepper to your liking. I put the dried parsley in here, too.
  5. Dice, the still-warm potatoes into large 1-inch-ish chunks, then place in a large bowl. Pour the hot dressing over the potatoes and gently toss to coat. Stir in about half of the cooked bacon pieces.
  6. Let the salad sit for at least 15 minutes to allow the potatoes to fully absorb the flavors. Just before serving, sprinkle the remaining crispy bacon and fresh chopped parsley or chives over the top.

The fresh parsley made it pop. Of course, you could use Yukon Gold or whatever potatoes you have. Watch out for green ones!

I wondered if honey mustard would be good? Obviously brown mustard or German mustard or even yellow mustard should be fine. I wonder what Herlocher’s would be like? Apple cider vinegar or brown sugar should be fine too. I see proponents for and against just about every variation online.

I say use what you have on hand or what you know you like. I bet I used Mrs. Dash’s table blend at some point, too. Some recipes recommended wine instead of broth. I may try it with beer?

Is this one you make often? Have you ever tried it? What are your tips & tricks? Luckily both kids liked it, so I’m sure I’ll be making it again. Also… I really didn’t measure much…. I just go.

Hit me up with your take on the Reuben, too! I have made them a few different ways, but always with the same basic ingredients.

Reuben Sandwich & Hot German-Style Potato Salad

Also, this is a hilariously appropriate song to rock to while you’re cooking:

It’s tangential, but made the cut for my Fast Food Punk Tunes & Dad Shit playlists!

Campfire Cookin’!


We recently went camping, and one of my favorite things to do when camping is cooking over a campfire. We did hobo packs the first night and mountain pies the second night. Both nights were a hit with the whole family.

I’ll show ya what we did if you tell me how you do it. Although, I did already solicit mountain pie recipes in 2018.

Hobo Packs

Pretty much anything you throw in foil packet and toss over a campfire will work here. You can go right on the coals, but this was a recent fire, so I put them on a grate on top. There’s 2 layers of heavy duty foil here, but you don’t want it over a direct flame. These would work great on the grill too. I went for 30 minutes, flipped it, & let it go another 30 minutes.

I was looking for stew meat or cubed beef in the grocery store, but the Aldi on the way to the campground had beef that was marked as “Good for Carne Asada” and it looked perfect.

Ingredients:

  • Beef
  • Onion
  • White Mushrooms
  • Russet Potatoes
  • Red Bell Pepper
  • Orange Bell Pepper
  • Carrots
  • Zucchini
  • Butter
  • Spices!
    • Black pepper
    • Season salt
    • Onion powder
    • Garlic powder
    • Mrs. Dash’s Table Blend

What would you put on yours?

Mountain Pies

I have made mountain pies many different ways, but this time we went with the classic pizza ones, and some Italian sub ones for dinner. Everyone went rogue for dessert.

Mine were done up proper…

  • Pizza Mountain Pie
    • White bread
    • Pizza Sauce
    • Shredded Mozzarella
    • Pepperoni
    • Roasted Red Peppers
    • Black Olives
    • Mushrooms
  • Italian Sub Mountain Pie
    • White bread
    • Ham Lunch Meat
    • Salami Lunch Meat
    • Pepperoni
    • Turkey Lunch Meat
    • Sliced Provolone
    • Roasted Red Peppers
    • Black Olives
    • Italian Dressing
  • Banana Split Mountain Pie (This is the one I had!)
    • White bread
    • Jif Choclolate/Peanut Butter Spread
    • Sliced Banana
    • Mini Marshmallows
  • Strawberry Chocolate Mountain Pie
    • White bread
    • Sliced Strawberries
    • Hershey’s Choclolate
    • Powdered Sugar (on top)

In the past I’ve made Mountain Pie Reubens (on rye), baked bean pies, leftover vegetable soup (thickened up) pies, apple pies, peach pies, peanut butter cup pies, breakfast (eggs & ham) pies, and probably more. The possibilities are endless. Sloppy Joe? Chipped ham BBQ? Grilled cheese? Ham n’ cheese? Turkey melt? Cheesesteak? Hot PB&J? Hot dog & baked beans? Biscuit dough around something? How do you do yours?

Of course, this doesn’t cover all the possibilities of campfire cooking. There’s hot dogs, s’mores, campfire banana splits, campfire corn, baked potatoes, & more. What do you do over your campfires?

We recently had a blast at Forest Ridge Cabins & Campgrounds & would love to go back for more!

I’m actually contemplating getting a cheap electric countertop sandwich grill that seals the edges to make indoor mountain pies.

Zucchini Two Ways


Like everyone who has a vegetable garden, or even just one potted plant, we have an abundance of zucchini. I was asking AI language models for casserole cooking times & temperatures based on what I had around & could easily grab from the store, and I sort of picked a hybrid of all of them. I used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, & CoPilot. Originally I had been asking about zucchini bread recipes, then asked about the casserole. It is interesting to bounce ideas off of them.

Zucchini Casserole & Pizza-ish Zucchini Things on a white plate.
“Zucchini!” (But, say it like a Jawa yelling “Utini!” in Star Wars.)

I had the idea for the lil’ zucchini things last time I made breaded zucchini & ran out of breadcrumbs before zucchini.

Zucchini Ditalini Chickpea Chikini

I hesitate to call this a casserole, because the kids are on a brainrot social media kick where they have been informed somehow that CrockโฌฉPot meals & casseroles are bad. The best part is they both ate & loved it… one even went back for more. It was a hit with the wife too, and I’d eat it again.

Zucchini Ditalini Chickpea Chikini - the top of a casserole dish just out of the oven, with a nice brown crispy breadcrumb topping over gooey melted cheese.
Zucchini Ditalini Chickpea Chikini

I felt like making a casserole, but not making a mess by pre-cooking/par-cooking or measuring anything. So… I ended up making two 9″x13″ casseroles. Here it is to the best of my memory.

The ingredients:

  • 1 ridiculously large zucchini from the garden.
  • 1 Spanish onion
  • 1 orange bell pepper
  • 1 pack (1ยฝ lbs.) of chicken breasts
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1 (16 oz./1 lb.) box of Ditalini pasta
  • 1 (15.5 oz.) can of garbanzo beans
  • 2 (8 oz.) blocks of cream cheese, softened (Leave it out for a bit, nuke it, or cradle it in your armpits.)
  • 1 (2 cup) bag of shredded white cheddar cheese
  • 1 (2 cup) bag of Havarti cheese
  • 1 (1ยฝ cup) bag of Gouda cheese (Same damn size bag – thanks, shrinkflation!)
  • 1 (32 oz./4 cups) box of chicken stock
  • 1 stick (4 oz./ยฝ cup) butter.
  • Breadcrumbs – Maybe 3 cups?
  • 2 Tbsp. minced garlic from a jar because elicits unwarranted hate.
  • Seasonings to taste – I used Rotisserie Chicken seasoning, Mrs. Dash’s Table Blend, Black Pepper, White Pepper, Onion Powder, Garlic Powder, Paprika, & dried parsley. Ain’t nobody measuring all that.

I was going to include some “bacon pieces,” but I must have left them in the store, or they fell out in the car, or I put them in a weird place or threw them out, because they absolutely are in what may as well be a pocket dimension.

The Method:

  1. Pre-heat the oven to 375ยฐ
  2. Grease apparently two 9″x13″ glass baking dishes with a stick of butter.
  3. Get two mixing bowls. In one, whisk the egg, then fold in the cream cheese, the chicken stock, the garlic, the (drained) chickpeas, about half of each of the shredded cheeses, the dry Ditalini, and spices in one mixing bowl.
  4. Slice up the bell pepper, onion, zucchini, & chicken in consistently sized cubes. (If you left the zucchini in the garden too long like I did, cut out the spongy center.) Put all that in the other mixing bowl, toss it with some more of all the spices.
  5. Mix the contents of the two bowls together as you string together new swear words and wish you have an even more ridiculously larger mixing bowl.
  6. Put those into the baking dishes. Or one big one, or a casserole dish, or whatever you’ve got. Cover with foil, place in oven, & bake for 45 min.
  7. Melt the remainder of the stick of butter in a microwave safe bowl. Or a microwave unsafe bowl if you’re an agent of chaos. Dump in some breadcrumbs and toss them in the butter, so the breadcrumbs are coated but not all gross. I used a mix of panko & regular. I did not measure.
  8. Pull from the oven, but leave it on, remove foil.
  9. Spread the remaining shredded cheese on the top of the casseroles, then the buttery breadcrumbs… and put it back in the oven. I swapped it to 350ยฐ on a convection setting at this point for 15 minutes… but you do you.

Notes:

  • YOU DO NOT NEED TO PRE-COOK THE CHICKEN, PASTA, OR VEGETABLES. You certainly can, and it may deepen the flavors and reduce baking time, but I wanted to do this all in one go. I checked the chicken in a few sports with an instant-read and it was a bit over the USDA recommended 165ยฐ.
  • I was going to mix the cheeses together at the end, but why dirty another bowl? I dumped them on almost somewhat evenly.
  • Obviously, cut out what you don’t like, add what you do, skip stuff, or add stuff.
  • I may try this again with bacon or ham… but there was a good bit of salt in all the cheeses already, and probably the chickpeas.
  • I may try this with shredded zucchini and maybe leaving the chicken breast cutlets whole on top. Maybe.
  • Ricotta instead of cream cheese may be good too.
  • Use chicken broth, bone broth, vegetable broth, milk, water, or whatever… just give the pasta enough liquid to absorb.

Pizzucchini Teeny Mini

Again, this was a quick idea I had last tame I made air-fried breaded zucchini and ran out of bread crumbs because the zucchini multiplies as I sliced it. I did it in the oven quick after I yanked out the “let’s not call this casserole a casserole.”

Melted cheese, some toasted breadcrumbs, & pizza sauce over a round slice of zucchini.
Pizzuchini Teeny Mini

Ingredients:

  • 1 normal-sized zucchini.
  • 1 (2 cup) bag of “pizza cheese”
  • 1 (15 oz.) squeeze bottle of pizza sauce
  • a bit of EVOO
  • Maybe ยฝ cup of breadcrumbs

The Method:

  1. Do you really need instructions here? I put the oven on 400ยฐ on the air-fryer setting. I didn’t pre-heat it because it was already running.
  2. I sliced the zucchini about ยผ-inch thick, and put it on the baking sheet over a bit of EVOO.
  3. I dropped on some sauce, some cheese, and a tiny bit of breadcrumbs.
  4. I put it the oven for 15 minutes.

Notes:

  • What the hell is “pizza cheese?” It said that on the bag. I guess mozzarella & provolone? Please tell me in the comments that it is all plastic & slowly killing me. Maybe I should have read the bag.
  • I will probably skip the EVOO or get a cooking rack for the air fryer setting.

~๐Ÿง€~

OK, so that’s it. Hit me up with suggestions, questions, love, or hate in the comments! Share your zucchini recipes, too!

Will Teriyaki Tenacity Lead to Teriyaki Triumph?


This morning, I was emboldened by a comment on an old blog post where I drew a maze and sent it to Conagra to accuse them of lying to the people about discontinuing their delicious Teriyaki sauce in favor of pushing a gross one filled with seeds.

Commenter Cory told me that there is a Change.org petition to bring it back. My most-likely delusional headcanon is that I definitely got Totino’s to change their microwave instructions. So, of course, we will push this forward so I can restore my Teriyaki stuff to its former glory. Here, we double-down on things that really have no consequence or significance. This is World (and Lunar) Domination.

The closest thing I have found is the Essential Everyday brand that I got from Shop ‘n Save, and there are always rumors of them closing and becoming yet another Giant Eagle.

If you’re also a fan of inconsequential chaos and delicious Teriyaki, please follow the saga, and sign the petition!

Others have awakened:

Also, try to solve the maze, and post in the comments or post it & tag me (& Conagra) on social media!

French-Dip Sandwiches & Smashed Potatoes


I made these the other night, and they were good! Here’s a quick & dirty method more than a recipe…

A French Dip sandwich with some Au Jus and smashed potatoes.

~๐Ÿฝ๏ธ~

For the French dip above, I just sautรฉed a diced sweet onion and canned mushrooms in medium heat in butter, set the goods aside, cranked the heat, seared a roast from Aldi in the same pan, added it, the onions/mushrooms, some shredded carrots, & a can of condensed French Onion Soup to the crock pot on high for 4 hours.

I pulled the roast out to “rest” for a bit before slicing, then put it back into a bowl with some of the liquid for the crock pot

For the buns, I just bought Mancini sausage rolls, melted butter in the microwave, put them in at 375ยฐ for 2 minutes, then pulled them out.

Then I piled on the sliced/shredded beef & mushrooms/onions/carrots and some sliced white American cheese, then back in the 375ยฐ oven for 5 minutes.

I made an “Au Jus” McCormick packet, and added some of the liquid from the crock pot for dipping. Toasting the buns really helped it stand up to the dip so it didn’t fall apart.

The potatoes were just little Yukon gold potatoes boiled in salty water for 30 min., smashed on to an oil-brushed cooking sheet, then baked at 425ยฐ for ยฝ hour.

I spiced the onions, meat, butter, & potatoes throughout all the stops, I think I added chicken bullion to the potato water, too. I used a lot of garlic & onion powder, black pepper, and Season Salt or Mrs. Dash’s table blend.

Well that’s it. Do you make anything similar? Have some tips & tricks? I have made similar stuff before with Swiss or Havarti or Provolone, used all kinds of different beef or even Steak-Ums, whatever buns/bread look good, used the French’s fried onions, etc. Ya gotta change it up and/or use what you have on hand!

Stuffed Cabbage Recipe


So, recently I was hungry for stuffed cabbage. I had never made it before, so after Googling a few recipes and soliciting advice from a Facebook food group and Nextdoor, I came up with my own. You can put this URL into Just The Recipe or do the Cooked Wiki “hack” to skip all my bullshit up here.

I’m not a huge fan of rice in meatballs like you typically see with stuffed peppers or stuffed cabbage, so I was googling recipes without it and kept finding stuffed tagged as “keto,” or with other grains substituted in. I think it’s a texture thing for me, so I opted to go my own route. Also, get out of here with your sweet/hot sausage, I’ll add my own spices. Keep your veal/beef/pork mixes. Maybe ground turkey would be cool. Keep the lamb away.

It seems that many are tied to their family’s traditional way of making it, and that’s pretty cool. I always thought of it as an Eastern European type dish, but lots of cultures have their own spin & own words for it according to Wikipedia. The thought of omitting rice, or using condensed tomato soup instead of a tomato sauce or V8 sent some people into a tizzy. I even learned that lots of people include sauerkraut, and some people like it served with sour cream. Some people make it like a casserole. We always had the tomato soup version growing up, so that’s what I like/expected. Who knew? I’ll probably make it different next time… but both kids & the wife liked it, so I won’t experiment too much.

I used glass baking dishes covered with foil, but got advice that a roasting pan, an electric roaster, the crock pot, a Dutch oven, a soup pot on the stove, or a pressure cooker all work well, too.

Although, I would like to wrap a piece of bacon around the rolls and throw them on the smoker…

At any rate, check out the recipe, and give me your recipes. tips, tricks, advice, and heavily guarded family recipe secrets in the comments.

Also – What do you call them?

Here’s what I did. ๐Ÿคท

Get It:

  • 1 head of cabbage.
  • 4-ish lbs. of ground beef. (I used 3 lbs of 8/20 & 1 lb. of 90/10)
  • 2 eggs
  • ยฝ Yellow Bell Pepper
  • ยฝ Spanish Onion
  • 1 cup shredded carrots (I bought a bag and I’ll use it for other stuff too.)
  • 1 beef bullion cube
  • 1 stick of butter
  • 3 23.2 oz. cans condensed Tomato Soup
  • Bread crumbs (Do I look like I measure stuff? Probably a cup and a half?)
  • Shredded Parmesan Cheese (in the ‘lil fancy container by the expensive cheese)
  • Minced Garlic (just have the jar ready I’m lazy and don’t crush/mince my own)
  • Spices. I used salt, black pepper, white pepper, onion powder, garlic powder, Season All, & Table Blend. (I just throw it on at every step indiscriminately with complete abandon and total anarchy.)

Do it:

  1. Preheat Your oven to 400ยฐ.
  2. Get a stock pot, fill it enough to cover your cabbage. Drop in the bullion cube, and salt, minced garlic, and whatever seasoning your heart desires, and crank it to high with the lid on.
  3. Chop your onion in half. Toss half in the boiling water, but take the lid off first & then put it back on.
  4. Mince the rest of the onion.
  5. Cut up the yellow pepper. Feed half to your kids, the dog, or your significant other. Or just eat it. That’s the perk of being the cook. Mince the other half.
  6. Pull out a handful of the minced carrots, a big knife, and what them up until they are tiny pieces of shredded carrots. Our dog loves carrots, so I sprinkled some on her food bowl.
  7. I greased 3 glass baking dishes with the stick of butter. I used a 9″x13″, an 8″x9″, & a 9″x9″ because that’s what I had. I swear we broke like 3 glass dishes last summer.
  8. Melt what can surely be described as an obscene amount of butter in a skillet and sautรฉ the onion, then the pepper & carrots on medium heat. I was sure to hit them with onion powder, garlic powder, salt, & pepper. I like to cook onions slow & low.
  9. Drop the head of cabbage in your now boiling water while you’re doing all that. Yes, remove but do not replace the lid.
  10. Put the sautรฉed veggies aside and let them cool a bit while you get the meat mixture ready.
  11. Set up a colander or strainer over a large bowl, & get your tongs ready.
  12. Beat your eggs, & add spices.
  13. Mix the meat, eggs, breadcrumbs, some cheese, sautรฉed veggies, some minced garlic, and lots of spices. I do it by hand. I wash my hands very well before & after, so you probably should too. But hey, you do you.
  14. By this time, hopefully your cabbage has been boiling 10-ish minutes. Use tongs to gently peel one leaf at a time and place it lovingly in your colander. Don’t go too quick with it and splash/burn yourself, because I would definitely never ever do that.
  15. Open the cans of tomato soup and cover the bottom of your baking dishes.
  16. Get the leaf, cut out the bottom tough part of the leaf rib if so inclined, slap in your meat mixture, and wrap it like a burrito – folding in the ends part way through. I didn’t measure, I eyeballed the meat to leaf ratio.
  17. Fill the baking dish(es), pour on & season the rest of the condensed tomato soup, sprinkle on some more parmesan cheese, cover in foil, and bake for an hour.

Tips/Lessons Learned/Parting Thoughts:

  • I was going to bake it at 375ยฐ and I probably should have, taking the foil off for the last 15 min. They were well over the recommended 160ยฐ internal temp for ground beef. Maybe some browning/caramelizing would not be a bad thing?
  • I saw a lot of tips for freezing the cabbage instead of boiling it, but I also read just as many responses saying that it can drastically affect the texture and not in a good way.
  • I may put in back next time. Maybe inside? Maybe wrapped outside?
  • Hear me out… Reuben cabbage rolls. Corned beef? Sauerkraut? Thousand Island or Russian dressing? Rye breadcrumbs? (We make non-traditional stuffed peppers sometimes, too.)
  • If you like rice, by all means include it. Or barley, or any other grain. I considered those tiny lil’ pasta balls… but maybe I just like to say Acini de Pepe way too much. Some people recommended cauliflower rice, also.
  • Check out all my other recipes and let me know what you think!
  • I got some thoughts from more tips & feedback when I posted photos on the FB food group & Nextdoor, too.
  • Are you still reading? Check out the recipe, and give me your recipes. tips, tricks, advice, and heavily guarded family recipe secrets in the comments.

The Meatball Club


So, yesterday I made spaghetti with homemade meatballs.โ€‚Today, I wanted a meatball sub.โ€‚I was thinking I still had some good buns from New Year’s day.โ€‚They were not good.โ€‚I had already melted the butter.โ€‚The store-brand white bread was calling to me.โ€‚A sandwich?โ€‚No, a club..,โ€‚Something worthy of shenanigans.

The Meatball Club:  A double-decker meatball sandwich on toasted white bread, teeming with tasty sauce & melted Gruyere and Swiss cheese.
Behold:โ€‚The Meatball Club

It seemed to be a hit on various social media platforms, so I thought I’d share the love.โ€‚If you make one, please, post the photo, tag me (@AiXelsyD13 on just about everything), and let me know how it was!

The Meatballs:

I have shared my meatball ingredient secrets a quadruple of times:

I generally don’t measure, and make them different every time.โ€‚This time I fried them on medium-high in a large pan on the stove & a tiny bit of EVOO.

The Sauce:โ€‚

OK, gonna level with you.โ€‚I am not Italian.โ€‚This is going to make some people mad.โ€‚I use jarred sauce.โ€‚This was the cheap Aldi stuff.โ€‚Usually we get that or the Prego Three Cheese.โ€‚I add brown sugar & Parmesan/Romano shake cheese.โ€‚Sometimes, I even add shopped garlic, onion powder, or “Italian Seasoning.”โ€‚This time it was just brown sugar and cheese.โ€‚I don’t measure.โ€‚I toss a little in with abandon.โ€‚I like the sweetness & it cuts the acid.

The Club:

Get your stuff…

  • ยผ stick butter
  • Garlic powder
  • Onion powder
  • Parsley or (Italian Seasoning)
  • 6 or so leftover meatballs.
  • Shredded cheese (I had Gruyere & Swiss, but I would probably go for Mozzarella or Provolone, but the stuff I had was fantastic.)
  • “Shake Cheese” I had the cheap Giant Eagle brand Parmesan/Romano blend.
  • Three pieces of white bread.

Do it…

  1. Pre-heat the oven to 390ยฐ on the air fryer setting.
  2. Melt the butter w/ garlic powder, onion powder, & parsley to taste in a microwave save bowl in 30 second intervals, stirring in between until it’s a liquid.
  3. Put the bread on a baking dish, brush on the melted butter after a good stir.โ€‚(I just did the top sides.)
  4. Air fry for 2 minutes, & it gets almost crispy on top, the bottom was nice and toasted.
  5. While you’re doing that nuke the meatballs & sauce on a microwave safe plate for 2 min. (or longer if needed.)
  6. Pull the toast out.โ€‚(I cut the meatballs in half with a spoon then scooped them and the sauce on to two of the slices of bread.)
  7. Top the meatballs with the shredded cheese.
  8. Put the “shake cheese” on the 3rd slice of bread.
  9. Put it back in on air fry for for 4 or 5 minutes.
  10. Pull it out, assemble it like a tower of gluttony, then slice it diagonally with a giant serrated bread knife for dramatic effect.
  11. Take a photo to share & make people hungry.

That’s it.โ€‚It took a little bit of time & prep, but it was worth it.

Notes:

  • If you cook & have your own meatball or sauce recipe, of course do that.
  • Use whatever kind of cheese you want, shredded, or sliced, or whatever.
  • I would guess you can use the oven on 375ยฐ-ish on a regular setting for a bit longer times, or a counter top air fryer.
  • You could also probably do all of it in the air fryer from cooking the meatballs to melting the butter if you have the appropriate vessels.
  • If you slice it in rectangles and not triangles, you are a psychopath.

Discussion:

  • If you’re out of sausage or sub buns, or hot dog buns, what are you using?โ€‚Pita?โ€‚Tortilla?โ€‚Soft Pretzel?โ€‚Dinner Rolls?โ€‚Bisquick?โ€‚Crescent roll dough?
  • Please, tell me in the comments how wrong it is to use jarred sauce or add brown sugar.
  • Share with me your meatball secrets.
  • Do you like the powdery shake cheese or the fancy stuff?
  • Do you make a forbidden sandwich?โ€‚What is it?
  • Is this a Meatball Club, or a Meatball Melt?

This is why I had leftover meatballs:

New Yearโ€™s Day Pork & Sauerkraut II


I came to blog my recipe then through a search, discovered I posted one last year!โ€‚That was in the roasting pan though, and it was a pork loin rib half.โ€‚This year, I put a pork shoulder roast in the crock pot… and made some dumplings 2 ways to go with it!

Crock Pot Pork n' Sauerkraut with dumplings for New Year's Day!
Crock Pot Pork n’ Sauerkraut with dumplings for New Year’s Day!

Ingredients:

  • 6 lb. pork shoulder roastย 
  • 2 bags of sauerkrautย (Beware, โ€œBavarian styleโ€ is a secret code meaning it has caraway seeds & tastes like royal ass. Unless you like caraway seeds or royal ass. I avoid it for diverticulitis reasons anyway.)
  • 1 bottle of beer.ย I usedย Straub Amber again this year, but I also like to useย Yuengling Traditional Lager.ย (You could also useย Penn Pilsner,ย Stoneyโ€™s,ย Shiner Bock, orย Smithwickโ€™s Red Ale…โ€‚Don’t be ruining it with Budweiser, Coors or Iron City.)
  • Apple Juice (Maybe ยฝ cup?)
  • 2 Apples (I like Golden Crisp or Honey Crisp)
  • 1 Spanish Onion (Or a sweet or yellow onion or whatever you like.)
  • ยฝ teaspoon-ish Minced Garlic
  • Salt (or Season All / Seasoned Salt)
  • Pepper
  • Onion Powder
  • Garlic Powder
  • Paprika
  • Mustard Powder
  • Brown Sugarย (Maybe ยผ cup?)
  • Pillsbury Grands Biscuit Dough

Instructions:

  1. Drain & rinse the sauerkraut, unless youโ€™re into clearing the pluming from the top down.
  2. Slice the apples & onions then place them on the bottom of the slow cooker/crock pot, add that beer & apple juice.โ€‚Add some spices.
  3. Put the roast in, fat side up. Add some spices.
  4. Cover it with the rinsed sauerkraut.โ€‚Add some spices.
  5. Add that brown sugar sprinkled all over the top,โ€‚Add some more spices.
  6. I put it on low for 8 hours & it was over-cooked & falling apart, but in a good way.
  7. Cook it toย 145ยฐ F according to the FDA, 160ยฐ according to my thermometer with the numbers beside the pig icon, or 203ยฐ if you want it to fall apart.
  8. Cut up 4 of the Pillsbury biscuits into 4 pieces each, pop ’em into the crock pot on the last half hour.โ€‚I sealed the inside of the lid with foil at that point because I read you should do that online.โ€‚(Don’t burn yourself!)
  9. Let it rest a bit when you pull it out. Thatโ€™s just good life advice in general.

I cooked the other 4 biscuits, also cut into 4’s, in my stock pot:โ€‚

  1. I tossed some beer, water, apple juice, & ham bullion into my stock pot, then brought it to a boil.
  2. I dropped in the dumpling pieces, and brought it down to a simmer.โ€‚That’s about a 2 on my stovetop dial.
  3. I boiled for 10 minutes with the lid off, then for 10 minutes with the lid on.

Tips:

  • Damnit, I forgot to do this part:โ€‚Sear the pork roast on all sides. I used a large fork to control it along with some tongs. I used a hot pan with a tiny bit of extra virgin olive oil & a pat of butter. You just want to sear the outsides, not cook the meat. I did add a bit of seasonings first.
  • I put onion powder on the apple slices and garlic powder on the onion slicesโ€ฆ because why not? Does anyone else do stuff this?
  • You could try to roast it.
  • I liked the dumplings from the crock pot more than the ones from the stock pot.โ€‚they were more fluffy/biscuity and less… wet.โ€‚They both tasted pretty good & were certainly edible though.

What are your New Year’s traditions and recipes?โ€‚Did you see my New Year’s appetizers?โ€‚I’ll take any & all tips on dumplings!โ€‚I haven’t had luck with the Bisquick variety and I never tried scratch.