La Choy Teriyaki Terror


Foe several years now, I have had an increasing number of issues trying to procure my favorite teriyaki sauce. You know how it is, you find something you like, then it is gone! I have blogged about this before, but the situation is getting much more desperate as time goes by. I have written many goofy emails and letters. I have received swag from Pepto, Turner’s, & Radio Shack. I have drawn mazes and send them to call attention to supply chain issues with potatoes and cocktail rye bread. I surely am single-handedly responsible for the return of Bronco Berry Sauce, right? So, I have to try with my La Choy Teriyaki Marinade & Sauce.

I like to use it to make this Teriyaki stuff. Other brands DO NOT COMPARE. It scares me that it is no longer listed on the La Choy product page.

I drafted up this letter and maze:

Hello Friends,

I write to you today to invite you on a journey with me. The journey is the quest for the most absolute perfect Teriyaki sauce. You may find yourself wondering if it exists. I can assure you, it does… or at least it did. Over the past few years it has been increasingly difficult to find. You’re surely wondering by now, to which magical elixir I am referring? It is confusing, but I will try to explain: The original La Choy Teriyaki Marinade & Sauce is wondrous perfection, yet the La Choy Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce & Marinade is devastatingly abhorrent.

I know that “teriyaki” may refer to a style, much like “barbecue” can denote many kinds of sauces, but it ought to be a crime to label these two sauces with the same descriptor. “Ketchup” came to describe the sugary tomato-based condiment we all know today, even though at one point it could have referred to many different things including a sauce with fermented fish.

I have seen the words on the label move around in various orders, so I’m not 100% sure exactly what to call the sauce, or how to differentiate it by descriptor… but I can tell you that the darker sauce in the bottle with the same shape as your soy sauce is fantastic, and the other stuff in the salad-dressing style bottle with seeds floating in it is terrible.

Over the years, I have written to my local grocery store, and they said the distributor discontinued it. I had one local store that carried it, and they have replaced its spot on the shelf with a similar yet inferior brand that we would have called generic in my youth. I have reached out to Conagra on social media, and was told to use the product locator. The product locator shows that no one around here sells that sauce, and seems to indicate it is not available online.

The La Choy website that lists all of the sauces does not show the good style sauce, but only the gross style. Is this an indication that you no longer manufacture the good stuff? Google searches lead to one gallon jugs or full cases. I only need a few bottles at a time. Looking closer, it shows as “out of stock” on some sites. Are you having supply chain issues? Is it being phased out? Is it available only regionally outside of my region?

I am writing to implore you to get me some answers other than the stock “Yes, we still make it. Please use our product locator.” I would like some real concrete answers. I also plan to write to all of my local grocery chains.

Please enjoy the attached maze, to help you as you contemplate a suggested resolution to my quest. Are you able to let me know the names of any of the distributors or local/national grocery chains where I can reach out to request your product, or even independent stores? I am in Bridgeville, PA, USA… just south of Pittsburgh.

I would love email addresses, or even snail mail. I am not a fan of these constraining contact forms.

I look forward to your reply, and thank you for the many tasty dinners that I have enjoyed thanks to your delicious sauce. I won’t even ask for an apology for the terribleness of the other sauce, even though you really should apologize for it.

I thank you for your time and attention, may you have a joyous and cheerful holiday season this year!

Your Hangry Fan,
-Eric
aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com

A maze, with the object to help a cartoon AiXeLsyD13 find his preferred Le Choy Teriyaki sauce.
Help me on my quest!

I sent that to Conagra’s contact form, well, what would fit, but was able to attach the maze. I also sent it through Facebook and Instagram messages, and tried to reach out via Twitter (again).

I used a google search to find their CEO’s name and their supposed email syntax, and sent the message to several variations of his address. None have bounced back yet, but I doubt they will all go through. I did also email their media relations and investor questions email which I found in a press release.

What’s my next move? Snail mail? Other executives? Board Members? I plan to email local food chains & maybe even smaller grocers. How do I find their distributors? Should I snail mail these out?

I feel like I have been getting the run-around on this for years:

Thanksgiving Sliders!


Lots of restaurants have their take on a Thanksgiving meal in a sandwich or wrap. Mad Mex has the Gobblerito. GetGo has the Pilgrim. Roly Poly used to have the #9 Thanksgiving Wrap. Primanti Bros. has the Primanturkey. I need to road trip up to Capriotti’s & try the Hot Bobbie. I have seen Thanksgiving tacos & Thanksgiving egg rolls online too… Even Thanksgiving pierogies!

This is my take. Not sure what inspired it other than pure unadulterated gluttony pair with an absolute love for the Thanksgiving meal.

I wanted cheese, but a soft white sort of mild cheese… nothing crazy sharp. This time I went with gouda slices and it was perfect. I solicited suggestions a few places online and found some fantastic ones.

AiXeLsyD13's Thanksgiving Sliders!
🍂 AiXeLsyD13’s Thanksgiving Sliders! 🍂

I took some stuffing out of my typical recipe, formed some stuffing balls, & cooked them in a glass dish at 375° Fahrenheit for 20 minutes and they were perfect. I let them cool, & slapped ’em into a Ziploc bag & put them in the ‘fridge.

At lunch time on black Friday, I got out some turkey and gravy, heated it in a pan on the stove, cut the stuffing balls to be like a sandwich bun, added the cheese & cranberry sauce on mine, assembled the sandwiches & cooked them sort of like a melt on our panini press countertop grill.

I just kept it on until the cheese started to look nice & melty. The outside got a little crisp, but not burned.

I will do this again. In fact, I’ll make stuffing and cook a turkey breast just to do this.

I picked it up with my hands and ate it like a burger, but imagine it like a hot turkey diner knife & fork style sandwich covered in gravy?

🍂🦃🍂

I made them to order. My wife wasn’t feeling the cheese idea, and my son wasn’t sure about the gravy. Neither wanted the cranberry sauce. I did one with, & one without. The one with was much more delicious. My daughter had a slider with gouda, turkey, & mayo on a dinner roll.

What else would go good on this? Mashed potatoes? Yams or sweet potatoes? Green bean casserole? Squash? If this were a food truck, I would visit once a week. I enjoyed this just as much as Thanksgiving dinner.

What do you do with your Thanksgiving leftovers? Is there a sandwich or other concoction like this from somewhere that I missed?

Gouda fit perfect, have any suggestions for other cheeses? White American, White cheddar, havarti, Swiss, brie, & even mozzarella may all be contenders. A smoked cheese may be good too.

Thanksgiving Dinner! – The Recipes.


I love to put together a holiday meal, especially thanksgiving. I have it down pretty good to corral the chaos.

First prepping the turkey & stuffing…

I do the bird in the electric roaster, stuffed, for 15-ish minutes per lb. @ 325° Farenheit. I roasted in the preheated pan on full for about 45 minutes at the start before turning it down. I inject the turkey in a few sports with a mixture of melted beer, butter, & spices. I usually rub some softened butter on top and toss on lots of seasoning there too. I usually pour a bottle of beer and a box of turkey broth in the bottom, & include some carrots, celery, & an onion.

Don’t worry about samonella with a stuffed bird. Take it to 165°. Always use a food thermometer. Some of the dark meat of the turkey will be overcooked but it will still be juicy & delicious. I haven’t killed anyone with my turkey yet.

The extra stuffing can be made into stuffing balls, but I put it in the crock pot. You just have to stir it, & maybe add extra turkey or chicken broth if needed or it will stick to the sides a lil’ burnt.

Do the math, & time it so you’re pulling the turkey out about a half an hour before you want to serve it.

Then I make the sides. Check out my recipes!

I cut up the butternut squash first, & put it in the fridge for when I needed it.

I peeled & quartered the potatoes, let them sit in cold water (& turkey broth).

Cut up & prep the brussels sprouts & carrots, you want to pop them in about 45 min before you plan to eat.

Prep the squash & put it in right after the brussels sprouts.

Turn on the potatoes, by the time they cook & you do your thing… it the other stuff should be ready to go.

Others brought even more sides… cranberry sauce, green bean casserole, sweet potatoes, deviled eggs, & rolls!

If I make green bean casserole, I pretty much use the Campbell’s recipe or French’s Fried Onions recipe… sometimes with an added can of mushrooms, fresh green beans, & maybe even some bacon pieces or ham.

If I cook with beer it’s either Yuengling Traditional Lager or Straub Amber.

For the gravy, I just use pan drippings broth from the turkey, and eyeball together a slurry of corn starch, add it, & some more spices if needed.

Someday I am going to brine a turkey with a buttermilk brine & cook it on the smoker, but… not for Thanksgiving. Well, not the first time anyway.

I like to keep the oven open for sides, & any brought sides or pies that may need warmed up.

Thanksgiving Sides!  Brussels Sprouts & Rainbow Carrots, Butternut Squash, Mashed Yukon Gold Potatoes, & Stuffing!
Thanksgiving Sides! Brussels Sprouts & Rainbow Carrots, Butternut Squash, Mashed Yukon Gold Potatoes, & Stuffing!

What are your Thanksgiving or other holiday meal prep tips, go-to’s, methods, or favorite recipes?

🦃 Don’t forget these free Thanksgiving Mazes! 🦃

Roasted Brussels Sprouts w/ Rainbow Carrots


Another one of my holiday go-to’s, this one takes a bit of labor but it’s worth it.

Roasted Brussels Sprouts with Rainbow Carrots & Bacon pieces.
Brussels Sprouts! With some goodies…

Getchya mise en place:

  • One 32 oz. “family size” bag of Brussels Sprouts (or 2 lb. of bulk fresh)
  • One 16 oz. bag of baby cut rainbow carrots
  • One 2.8 oz bag of bacon pieces
  • Extra Virgin Olive Oil
  • Salt, pepper, garlic powder, whatever spices you want.

Do it:

  1. Pre-heat the oven to 400° Fahrenheit.
  2. I quarter the baby carrots – one cut long ways, one cut through the middle.
  3. I cut the bottom off of the sprouts, remove the outer leaves if they’re not great looking, halve them, and if they’re large, score the middle. (Look close at the photo.)
  4. Mix the sprouts, carrots, & bacon pieces in a bowl, add the spices, eyeball in some EVOO & toss to coat it all evenly.
  5. Spread evenly on a baking sheet or in a glass dish.
  6. Slap them in that oven for 40-ish minutes.

Tips n’ tricks:

  • Of course, use whatever spices fit your fancy.
  • If you can’t find rainbow carrots, regular ones or parsnips or both are an absolutely awesome addition also.
  • Roasting caramelizes the sometimes bitter brussels sprouts. You may find that you prefer them “more” done or “less” done.
  • Scoring the middle helps them roast fully or more evenly.
  • You can skip the bowl if you can stir it all up and not make a mess like I do.

So, what do you think? Do you like Brussels Sprouts? Do you prepare them a similar or wholly different way?

Teriyaki Stuff


I absolutely love the flavors in Asian food, but because of my shellfish allergy, I rarely dine at those types of restaurants because of ingredients like oyster sauce or brine shrimp as seasoning and cross contamination. I even had friends that once ordered “vegetarian” egg rolls that contained crab meat. I think it was a perfect storm of a language issue and a culture issue.

I posted this photo of a dish we make often on social media, and was asked for the recipe. I figured I would share it here too! It’s more of a method maybe than an exact recipe. My wife usually makes it with chicken instead of beef and without the chick peas.

  1. Made 4 cups  of instant rice according to the box, instead of salt in the water I used 1 teaspoon of beef bullion, set aside.
  2. Sear the steaks on high on a flat pan that can go into the oven – coat w/ EVOO, salt & pepper… about 2 minutes a side.
  3. Place a pat of butter on each steak, place in oven at 400° for about 10 minutes.
  4. Cook the chick peas in a bit of EVOO, maybe medium-high heat.  You need to keep an eye on them as they can “pop.”
  5. Add the Teriyaki sauce to the pan and let it cook, maybe take it down to medium.  I keep stirring & scraping the bottom of the pan.
  6. Get the water boiling for under a steamer basket.  I usually add onion powder and garlic powder.
  7. Take out the steaks and let them rest on a cutting board.
  8. Steam the vegetables above the boiling water once it starts to go… I usually wait for them to turn a bright color then turn it off as I like them still to be a bit crunchy.  Carrots on bottom, broccoli in the middle, peppers on top seems to make the cook the most evenly.
  9. Cut the steaks into strips, I try to go on an angle so they’re nice & tender.
  10. Add the steak to the chick peas & Teriyaki… don’t overcook the steak.  It should still be a little pink in the middle when you add it.
  11. Fluff the rice.
  12. I use garlic powder, onion powder, season all, Mrs. Dash, salt, & pepper throughout on everything.
  13. Plate the rice, veggies, beef/chickpeas/sauce and enjoy!

It all sounds much more complicated than it is.  You can cook he steaks on a countertop grill or cut them into strips & cook in the pan… but I tend to overcook them that way. You could, of course, also use the marinade as an actual marinade.

You could just boil the veggies too, but I feel like that takes out all the flavor and turns them to mush.  Roasting them in the oven may be delicious too, but would take a bit longer… this would be good for the chickpeas too.

If I had a wok, I’d get brave and try it all like a stir-fry. Maybe like the “white people tacos” meme, this is my version of Asian food.

I’d be interested to see what other people think if you try it out. I’d like if you shared your meals like this in the comments, so I have more stuff to try.

I am stuck on this type of La Choy Teriyaki sauce & marinade. The flavor is perfect. The “stir fry sauce” has sesame seeds in it, & I’m not a fan of the texture and hate to tempt fate with diverticulitis issues. The other ones are just OK. What’s your favorite type? Have you ever made your own?

According to Wikipedia, it seems like Teriyaki is similar to Barbecue as it seems to refer to a style of cooking as well as the sauce. Maybe I am wildly misusing the term? I just like the sauce. A lot.

It has been increasingly difficult to find. I have tweeted (𝕏eeted?) Conagra and I think they are stalling. I’m going to have to have a maze-fueled letter & email wiring campaign. I was told the sauce was discontinued by a local distributor to Giant Eagle in 2009, but have definitely found it since then. The current La Choy website doesn’t list it as a product, but the Internet Wayback Machine has it.



Hot Turkey Sandwich Dinner (Quick Style!) 🦃


I love a good hot sandwich smothered in gravy, be it roast beef, meatloaf, or turkey. I was in the mood for a turkey one like you’d get at a diner, and being a week night after work, wanted to put it together pretty quickly as I hadn’t thought ahead to use the crock pot.


Putting it here, so if I want it again I’ll remember what I did right & want to try it again. I may have to double the recipe when the kids are home. This fed two of us & left enough for me for lunch.

The Turkey:

  • 2 Breast Cutlets
  • 1 can of Yuengling Traditional Lager (Or Straub Amber, or Shiner Bock, or Smithwick’s, or Killian’s Irish Red. Pick a good beer.)
  • ⅔ cup carrot chips. (Yup, cheated & bought those in a bag too.)
  • 1 Spanish Onion, peeled & quartered.
  • 2 tsp. of minced garlic from a jar like a lazy person.
  • A bunch of your preferred spices. (I used, cracked pepper, poultry seasoning, sage, thyme, onion powder, garlic powder, paprika, Mrs. Dash’s table blend, and a bit of Season All.)
  1. Pre-heat the oven to 350°
  2. Put the turkey cutlets in a roasting pan, & pour the beer over them. Again, get good beer. No one wants you to cook with Coors or Budweiser or Mic Ultra.
  3. Toss in the onion & carrot.
  4. Add all the spices. When you think it’s too much, keep going.
  5. Stick in your meat thermometer probe that reads temperature while cooking.
  6. Pit the lid on, put it in the oven.
  7. I set the timer for 50 minutes, but it was done in a half hour or so. Cook to 165° internal temp & let it rest. I got distracted & took it to 170° and no one died, so don’t worry if it’s not precise.

The Veggies:

  • Bundle of Broccoli
  • Carrots from that bag you already opened.
  • Chicken Bullion Cube.
  • You still have those spices out, right?
  1. Eyeball some water into the pot, ad the bullion & spices.
  2. Chop that broccoli up and compost the stems or make those little fried things that looks delicious.
  3. Put the broccoli & carrots in the steamer thing that goes on top of the pot.
  4. Boil it for… I dunno. Not long. I like my broccoli bright green & crunchy. Bonus with the carrots being cut like this, they cook quickly too.

The ‘Taters:

  • They’re from a box. Follow the directions… sort of. I bought the store brand.
  • Use more butter than they call for.
  • Put a chicken bullion cube in the water instead of salt.
  • instead of lowfat milk, use ½ whole milk and ½ buttermilk. Add sour cream if you’re into complete and total anarchy.

The Gravy:

  • 2 jars of turkey gravy
  • roasting pan drippings
  • A bit of those carrots & onions.
  1. Heat the gravy on medium-high.
  2. Add pan drippings to taste
  3. Chop up the carrots & onions pretty small, & add them too.
  4. Cook it on medium until it thickens back up.

The Sandwich:

  • Texas Toast (Why do they call it that? it wasn’t toasted.)
  • That turkey, sliced after it has rested a bit.
  • That gravy.
  1. Put the bread on the plate, with some mashed potatoes beside it.
  2. Put the turkey on top.
  3. Add some gravy on top of everything.
  4. Put another piece of bread on the top. (Unless you want an open-faced sandwich.)
  5. Slather more gravy on that.
  6. Drink a shot of gravy.

Don’t forget to eat your vegetables so it’s a healthy meal. This is a quick week night dinner that tastes like it cooked all day.

Things I might try next time…

  • Toast the Texas Toast, or grill it up like grilled cheese or a patty melt?
  • Bacon pieces in the gravy.
  • Bacon on the sandwich.

Have any suggestions, tips, tricks, or secrets?

If you were a lunch lady in the 80’s and know how to make/where to get that greenish-yellow glow-in-the-dark colored school cafeteria gravy, hit me up in the comments! I am super nostalgic for that,

Ham N’ Bean Soup (Recipe) 🫘🥣


I made some ham n’ bean soup. I liked it more this time than last time. Here’ the recipe…

Every once in a while I get hungry for this. I make it slightly different every time. This time was pretty god, so I may replicate it. Or at least attempt to.

Ingredients:

  • 2 freezer bags of leftover ham from Easter, cubed.
  • 2 globs of Irish butter using a tablespoon.
  • Spanish onion, diced.
  • A stick of celery, chopped
  • Shredded carrots, chopped even smaller
  • 1 red bell pepper, cubed
  • 1 tsp. of minced garlic
  • 7 cans of beans. I used the Giant Eagle brand. I got butter beans, black beans, pinto beans, navy beans, kidney beans, great northern beans, & cannellini beans. I thought about garbanzo beans and black eyed peas.
  • 1 can of diced potatoes.
  • 1 bottle of Yuengling Traditional Lager (Sometimes I cook with Straub Amber too.)
  • 12 cups water
  • A tablespoon of Better Than Bullion Ham Base
  • 2 tablespoons of Orrington Farms Concentrated Ham Base
  • Mrs. Dash Table Blend seasoning (to taste)
  • McCormick BBQ Seasoning (to taste)
  • Ground Mustard (to taste)
  • White Pepper (to taste)
  • Salt (to taste)
  • Pepper (to taste)
  • garlic powder (to taste)
  • onion powder (to taste)

I’m impatient so I didn’t use dried beans and soak the overnight while standing on my head facing east while reciting a mantra about not farting after eating this soup or whatever you have to do to do all that properly. Ain’t nobody got time for that. I did drain & rinse them really well. I’m sure this would be fine with ham steaks but the roasted ham from Easter was delicious.

The Method:

Sauteeing the veggies, adding potatoes, then beer.
  1. I dumped all the beans into a colander and mixed them, then rinsed them pretty good with cold water. I set that aside on a bowl for a minute.
  2. I globbed the butter into the stock pot, put it on a burner, and cranked that shit up to medium-high.
  3. As the butter was melting, I added the onions, and let them sautée a bit. I added some onion powder, garlic powder, and a bit of salt here.
  4. I added the carrots, celery, & bell peppers, then sautéed a little more.
  5. This is where I added the rest of the spices to taste. Use whatever floats your boat. I added the minced garlic last so it didn’t burn.
  6. I tasted this before I did anything else and did so by setting aside a spoonful to cool while I moved on to the next step. I could have eaten just this.
  7. I dumped the canned potatoes along with the water into the mix.
  8. I dumped the beer into the mix.
  9. I got 8 cups of water into a giant mixing cup & added the “better than bullion” and soup base stuff. I went a bit lighter than the directions specify because I always end up making the soup too salty. I also didn’t use a measuring spoon. I used regular spoons & serving spoons. What is this, baking?
  10. I added all the beans, and 4 more cups of water.
  11. I added the ham last as I cubed it. I think at some point I cranked the heat down to medium.
  12. After adding the ham, I brought it to a boil on high, then let it boil on medium-low for 20 minutes, lid off, then pulled it off to rest.
  13. If you’re worried about the taste, take a bite way too soon, scorch your tastebuds, and it won’t matter anyway.

This was pretty tasty. I would only maybe add bacon? Manybe peas or something? What would you add? Would you switch anything out? I’m sure chicken bullion or broth would be good here too.

I like to serve this with some buttered rolls, or even a sandwich. Maybe cornbread would be good too?

This is good, but not much tops ham n’ green bean n’ tater stew. I wonder if green beans would be good in this?

New Year’s Day Pork & Sauerkraut


There are many traditions used to celebrate the new year. One we always did was have pork.

Roast Pork Loin Rib Half
Good Luck New Year’s Day Pork Roast AiXeLsyD13-style.

Generally, I cook it in the crock pot, but this year I tried it in the roasting pan in the oven. I’m posting my recipe/method here so I can refer back to it. Hopefully you might like it too, and you may want to check out my other recipes.

Ingredients:

  • 8 lb. pork loin (The one I got this year said “pork loin rib half”.)
  • 2 bags of sauerkraut (Beware, “Bavarian style” is a secret code meaning it has caraway seeds & tastes like royal ass. Unless you like caraway seeds or royal ass. I avoid it for diverticulitis reasons anyway.)
  • 1 bottle of beer. I used Straub Amber, but I also like to use Yuengling Traditional Lager. (You could also use Penn Pilsner, Stoney’s, Shiner Bock, or Smithwick’s Red Ale.)
  • Apple Juice (Maybe ½ cup?)
  • 2 Apples (I like Golden Crisp or Honey Crisp)
  • 1 Spanish Onion (Or a sweet or yellow onion or whatever you like.)
  • ½ teaspoon-ish Minced Garlic
  • Salt (or Season All / Seasoned Salt)
  • Pepper
  • Onion Powder
  • Garlic Powder
  • Paprika
  • Mustard Powder
  • Brown Sugar (Maybe ¼ cup?)

Instructions:

  1. Pre-heat the oven to 350°.
  2. Drain & rinse the sauerkraut, unless you’re in need of an intestinal cleanse.
  3. Sear the pork roast on all sides. I used a large fork to control it along with some tongs. I used a hot pan with a tiny bit of extra virgin olive oil & a pat of butter. You just want to sear the outsides, not cook the meat. I did add a bit of seasonings first.
  4. Pop it into your roasting pan. Add some of those spices to taste.
  5. slice the apples & onions then place them around the sides, cover it with the rinsed sauerkraut, bathe it with that glorious beer & apple juice.
  6. Put some more spices on the roast again because you just washed them off. Don’t measure them. Live dangerously.
  7. Put your food thermometer in, put the lid on, & pop it in the oven. You have a food thermometer right?
  8. Cook it to 145° F according to the FDA, 160° according to my thermometer with the numbers beside the pig icon, or 203° if you want it to fall apart.
  9. From what I read online it could be anywhere from 20 to 30 min per lb. Instead of popping it out & checking with an instant read, get a thermometer that can stay in.
  10. Let it rest a bit when you pull it out. That’s just good life advice in general.
  11. I mixed the brown sugar into the sauerkraut after I pulled the roast out. I didn’t measure. I read that was to prevent it caramelizing & burning too much… but I think it would have been fine in there the whole time.

Tips:

  • I put onion powder on the apple slices and garlic powder on the onion slices… because why not? Does anyone else do stuff this?
  • You could probably do this at 300° or 325° if you felt like it. Cook to temperature not time.
  • You could throw all this into the crock pot (if it will fit!), or go with a smaller roast to do the same. I’d guess low on 8 or 10 hours would do it. Again, that’s what I usually do. Maybe go half the bottle of beer & drink the other half for breakfast.
  • Thinking back, I think I put a half a bit of ham bullion (or better than bullion) in there too. I do that instead of salt sometimes.

What’s the deal with all the other not pork on that plate?

  • Steamed green beans with a bit of garlic, butter, & parmesan cheese.
  • Boxed mashed potatoes – I used buttermilk instead of milk. While nothing beats the real thing… I like the boxed potatoes because I like potatoes with a consistency that you could use to mortar bricks together, or build a structure like in Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Those Bob Evans microwave potatoes might as well be potato soup. Also, buttermilk is the best.
  • I tried those hot dogs in the air fryer for the first time. I put slits in the top, then did 6 minutes at 400° and they were awesome. I did the bun for 2 minutes at 375° because I read some stupid blog, and that may have been to hot or too long. That should teach you a lesson about following recipes on a blog.
  • I served the hot dog on that bun (brushed with a little melted butter before air frying), with yellow mustard & some of the sauerkraut & pulled pork. I had one the next day & it was even better. That may be better than chili dogs!

I think the family liked it, or they pretended to. The 9yo liked the sauerkraut, the 7yo did not. Funny because the 7yo has been digging mushrooms and onions as of late, and he’s my dude that digs buttermilk. It may be a texture thing? I am weird about some textures.

Tell me about your pork recipes or new year’s traditions in the comments!

I always thought we were a bit German, but my Ancestry DNA test does not agree with that. We must have picked up the traditions from German or “Pennsylvania Dutch” friends & neighbors here in the region.

I’m glad this is not a tradition.

Also, if you like your sauerkraut without the brown sugar, I get that. If you like it with caraway seeds, I’m sorry your taste buds are broken.

If you line this recipe, you may like these:

Cooking Stuff From the Garden 🌶🥒


So, today I felt like cooking. We recently came back from a weekend at a cabin and a week at camp. We had a bunch of new stuff ready in the garden, and some stuff past ready.

Here are three quick recipes that I posted on Instagram. The Poblano peppers, banana peppers, straightneck squash, and snap beans were grown in our garden.

🥓🧀🌶🍄🍝🥒🌱

Bacon-Wrapped Poblano Peppers

Well, that turned out well. Got some poblano from the garden this week. I mixed some bacon bits, minced garlic, shredded cheddar cheese, and steak seasoning into some cream cheese, cut the peppers in half, stuffed with the peppers with the mixture, sprinkled more cheddar on top, wrapped with bacon, & baked on a sheet pan at 375° for 40 min.

Turned out pretty good if I do say so myself!

Snap Beans with Mushrooms & French Fried Onions

Some fresh snap beans from the garden. Steamed, then tossed in with some sautéed mushrooms, French fried onions, minced garlic, a pinch or 2 of flour & fresh cooked bacon pieces. (Used the leftovers from the peppers.)

Straightneck Squash Parmesan

Had some straightneck squash that grew a bit too big while we were at camp. I had it in my head to prepare it sort of like eggplant parmesean & fried zucchini. I didn’t want the stacked lasagna version, I wanted something with a bit of crunch.

I sliced then up, dredged in flour/cornstarch, egg/buttermilk. & coated in regular & panko breadcrumbs with a bit of parmesan “shake cheese” mixed in. I seasoned each step with Italian seasoning, garlic powder, & black pepper.

I baked them for about 25 or 30 min. on 400°, then topped with provolone & mozzarella slices & a bit more parmesan. They went back in for 10 min.

Served with bowtie pasta & covered in our favorite slightly doctored sauce.

Added the needed flavor to the overgrown squash and I actually preferred the consistency to eggplant.

🥒🧀🌶🥓🧄🍄🌱🍝

All in all, I was really pleased with the results, and I think the family was too.

Do you have some good recipes, tips, & tricks for these garden ingredients?

What do you like to grow and cook?

Patience is a virtue. Totino’s pushes the boundaries of scientific research thanks to me.


arrange the rolls in a circle on a plate

“arrange the rolls in a circle on a plate”

Oh man.  Does anyone remember my W(aL)D email shenanigans from a decade ago?

One such adventure was writing to Totino’s to ask if they had recommendations for microwaving more than 6 at a time.  They wrote back.  I asked them if I needed to arrange the rolls like wagon wheel spokes or like wagons on the Oregon Trail circling for protection.  I even got some 35¢ coupons that I considered as a research grant.

Have you noticed pizza roll cooking instructions lately?

I won! Information for the people! Research to benefit the masses!

Really though.  This brings up a new series of questions.

When did just arranging in “a single layer become” acceptable?  Who does Totino’s think they are discarding the time-honored tradition of microwaving things in a circle?  Did we learn nothing from our ancestors at Stonehenge?  Did they consult the Softstix team over at SuperPretzel, or just roll forward (pun still intended) with wild abandon?  How do you summon the flavor spirits without the ceremonial circle?

Has the Fibonacci spiral ever been tested as a cooking pattern?  Can Ci3 make me a plate specifically for microwaving pizza rolls and little cheese-filled pretzels with the Fibonacci spiral on it?

Totino's Pizza Roll Microwave Instructions