Let me set the stage… On my last ER trip, I was wearing “lounge” pants with a stretchy waist and drawstrings. After the mandatory 4 or 5 hour wait, I was called to go back. I was drawing mazes to pass the time, so pen & notebook in one hand, and phone in the other… I involuntary dropped trou as I marched toward the beckoning healthcare professional at the double-doors.

Luckily for me, any semblance of shame I had was gone years ago, and I have voluntarily de-pantsed myself in areas ranging from stages to bowling alleys for my own bemusement.

Luckily for my peers awaiting medical treatment, I was not going commando.

This leads to walking around in public today, hands full, and pants trying to shimmy down my waist. Thankfully, I was able to wiggle my decidedly unshapely hips like Shakira to keep everything in place.

Tightening my belt really isn’t helpful to my situation with the inflammation, and I don’t want to hinder the process of everything moving through my digestive system like some hyper-loop Maglev. I have dropped 25-ish lbs., so my clothes are as loose as my bowel movements.

Should I rock the Robin Williams suspenders look? The Amish look? The old man potbelly look? The Blippi w/ a bowtie? I like the mod/skinhead look, but few people know their roots go back to the mods who liked soul and reggae and can only think of the mostly bad connotations with that word & style. Go full hipster/craft brew enthusiast?

Can I pull off tucking in a T-shirt? Do I need to start wearing button downs and polos?

I am here soliciting your fashion advice.