Culinary Anarchy | You don’t have to parboil the lasagna noodles!


A slice of lasagna on a white plate, showcasing layers of pasta, ricotta cheese, meat, and marinara sauce.
Leftover Lasagna – about to be re-heated in the microwave.

I have seen it out there on the internet for years, and I was afraid. Surely the ready-to-bake lasagna noodles are drastically different from the regular ones, right? I’m not talking fresh pasta that needs no prep… I mean the dried boxed stuff that food snobs will tell you is inferior.

I did it. No one died. Everyone seemed to like it. I’ll put my recipe down here first & the shenanigans after that… because Threads gave me some shenanigans. Trigger warning for Nonnas worldwide: I put brown sugar in jarred sauce. Proceed with caution.

Here’s what I did…

Ingredients:

  • (3) 15 oz. containers ricotta cheese
  • (2) 8. oz/2 cups bags shredded Mozzarella/Provolone cheese
  • (1) 2.41 lbs. package 90%/10% ground beef
  • (1) small zucchini, shredded (maybe 2 cups?)
  • (3) 24 oz. jars marinara sauce
  • (1) 1 lb. box Barilla lasagna noodles
  • (2) eggs
  • ½ cup grated Parmesan/Romano cheese
  • shredded parmesan (to taste)
  • fresh curly parsley (to taste)
  • Italian seasoning (to taste)
  • dried parsley (to taste)
  • brown sugar (to taste)
  • jarred minced garlic (to taste)
  • garlic powder (to taste)
  • onion powder (to taste)
  • black pepper (to taste)
  • paprika (to taste)
  • Mrs. Dash table blend (to taste)
  • salt (to taste)

Method:

  1. Preheat oven to 375° (Next time I may do 350° for a longer time, but we were in a but of a hurry.)
  2. Brown the beef in a pan on the stove with some of all your spices to taste. (I could/should have included onion here.)
  3. Mix the ricotta, one bag of the shredded cheese, the grated parmesan, a bit of the shredded parmesan, the eggs, fresh parsley, & shredded zucchini in a large bowl, again with all the spices including the garlic.
  4. This filled two 9×13″ glass baking dishes for me. I think I layered them both a bit different. Follow your heart. Put sauce on the bottom, sprinkle in some brown sugar, the dry lasagna noodles, the ricotta mixture, the ground beef, some more shredded cheese, more sauce, more noodles, and just keep going. I did put a very little bit of water in the jars of sauce to swirl around & empty more.. and put that into the dishes too. Sprinkled cheese and made sure there was lots of sauce on top of each.
  5. Cover them tightly with foil & put them in the oven for 50 minutes.
  6. Take out, sprinkle on some more of the shredded parmesan, cook for another 10 minutes.
  7. Pull out, rest for a bit, then serve.

Notes:

  • Like I said, lower & slower next time. Maybe 350° for an hour then uncover & go for another 15 minutes?
  • Carrots may be good in with the ground beef… and/or mushrooms?
  • Maybe spinach in the cheese mixture or as another layer. Let’s get some fiber up in here.
  • I don’t generally like sausage, but if you do it’d be good here for sure.
  • What would you do?

🍝

Readers, let me tell you… people have feelings about calling that strip of pasta a “lasagna noodle.” There is also the fact that “American” lasagna has ricotta, but traditional does not. I was even told that because I added shredded zucchini it is no longer lasagna. I have made it replacing the pasta with long thinly-sliced zucchini planks and still called it lasagna.

People have lost their damn minds. No one knows that food and language evolve over time and across regions and even households?

I did plug my ingredients list into Gemini, ChatGPT, Perplexity, & Copilot to see what they would churn back out, but honestly I didn’t follow through with any of their advice.

I also make wedding soup incorrectly and put beans in chili. Clutch those pearls! Enjoy a meatball club. Hell, join the meatball club!

I look forward to your thoughts about lasagna, your tips, tricks & recipes, and the nuance of semantics involving pasta naming conventions in the comments. How do you layer yours? I feel like I need a way deeper pan. Do you go “traditional” and eschew ricotta? Do you call lasagna noodles lasagna noodles or are you pretentious?

I leave you with the discourse:

View on Threads
https://www.threads.com/embed.js
View on Threads
https://www.threads.com/embed.js
View on Threads
https://www.threads.com/embed.js
View on Threads
https://www.threads.com/embed.js
View on Threads
https://www.threads.com/embed.js
View on Threads
https://www.threads.com/embed.js

Stuffed Cabbage Recipe


So, recently I was hungry for stuffed cabbage. I had never made it before, so after Googling a few recipes and soliciting advice from a Facebook food group and Nextdoor, I came up with my own. You can put this URL into Just The Recipe or do the Cooked Wiki “hack” to skip all my bullshit up here.

I’m not a huge fan of rice in meatballs like you typically see with stuffed peppers or stuffed cabbage, so I was googling recipes without it and kept finding stuffed tagged as “keto,” or with other grains substituted in. I think it’s a texture thing for me, so I opted to go my own route. Also, get out of here with your sweet/hot sausage, I’ll add my own spices. Keep your veal/beef/pork mixes. Maybe ground turkey would be cool. Keep the lamb away.

It seems that many are tied to their family’s traditional way of making it, and that’s pretty cool. I always thought of it as an Eastern European type dish, but lots of cultures have their own spin & own words for it according to Wikipedia. The thought of omitting rice, or using condensed tomato soup instead of a tomato sauce or V8 sent some people into a tizzy. I even learned that lots of people include sauerkraut, and some people like it served with sour cream. Some people make it like a casserole. We always had the tomato soup version growing up, so that’s what I like/expected. Who knew? I’ll probably make it different next time… but both kids & the wife liked it, so I won’t experiment too much.

I used glass baking dishes covered with foil, but got advice that a roasting pan, an electric roaster, the crock pot, a Dutch oven, a soup pot on the stove, or a pressure cooker all work well, too.

Although, I would like to wrap a piece of bacon around the rolls and throw them on the smoker…

At any rate, check out the recipe, and give me your recipes. tips, tricks, advice, and heavily guarded family recipe secrets in the comments.

Also – What do you call them?

Here’s what I did. 🤷

Get It:

  • 1 head of cabbage.
  • 4-ish lbs. of ground beef. (I used 3 lbs of 8/20 & 1 lb. of 90/10)
  • 2 eggs
  • ½ Yellow Bell Pepper
  • ½ Spanish Onion
  • 1 cup shredded carrots (I bought a bag and I’ll use it for other stuff too.)
  • 1 beef bullion cube
  • 1 stick of butter
  • 3 23.2 oz. cans condensed Tomato Soup
  • Bread crumbs (Do I look like I measure stuff? Probably a cup and a half?)
  • Shredded Parmesan Cheese (in the ‘lil fancy container by the expensive cheese)
  • Minced Garlic (just have the jar ready I’m lazy and don’t crush/mince my own)
  • Spices. I used salt, black pepper, white pepper, onion powder, garlic powder, Season All, & Table Blend. (I just throw it on at every step indiscriminately with complete abandon and total anarchy.)

Do it:

  1. Preheat Your oven to 400°.
  2. Get a stock pot, fill it enough to cover your cabbage. Drop in the bullion cube, and salt, minced garlic, and whatever seasoning your heart desires, and crank it to high with the lid on.
  3. Chop your onion in half. Toss half in the boiling water, but take the lid off first & then put it back on.
  4. Mince the rest of the onion.
  5. Cut up the yellow pepper. Feed half to your kids, the dog, or your significant other. Or just eat it. That’s the perk of being the cook. Mince the other half.
  6. Pull out a handful of the minced carrots, a big knife, and what them up until they are tiny pieces of shredded carrots. Our dog loves carrots, so I sprinkled some on her food bowl.
  7. I greased 3 glass baking dishes with the stick of butter. I used a 9″x13″, an 8″x9″, & a 9″x9″ because that’s what I had. I swear we broke like 3 glass dishes last summer.
  8. Melt what can surely be described as an obscene amount of butter in a skillet and sauté the onion, then the pepper & carrots on medium heat. I was sure to hit them with onion powder, garlic powder, salt, & pepper. I like to cook onions slow & low.
  9. Drop the head of cabbage in your now boiling water while you’re doing all that. Yes, remove but do not replace the lid.
  10. Put the sautéed veggies aside and let them cool a bit while you get the meat mixture ready.
  11. Set up a colander or strainer over a large bowl, & get your tongs ready.
  12. Beat your eggs, & add spices.
  13. Mix the meat, eggs, breadcrumbs, some cheese, sautéed veggies, some minced garlic, and lots of spices. I do it by hand. I wash my hands very well before & after, so you probably should too. But hey, you do you.
  14. By this time, hopefully your cabbage has been boiling 10-ish minutes. Use tongs to gently peel one leaf at a time and place it lovingly in your colander. Don’t go too quick with it and splash/burn yourself, because I would definitely never ever do that.
  15. Open the cans of tomato soup and cover the bottom of your baking dishes.
  16. Get the leaf, cut out the bottom tough part of the leaf rib if so inclined, slap in your meat mixture, and wrap it like a burrito – folding in the ends part way through. I didn’t measure, I eyeballed the meat to leaf ratio.
  17. Fill the baking dish(es), pour on & season the rest of the condensed tomato soup, sprinkle on some more parmesan cheese, cover in foil, and bake for an hour.

Tips/Lessons Learned/Parting Thoughts:

  • I was going to bake it at 375° and I probably should have, taking the foil off for the last 15 min. They were well over the recommended 160° internal temp for ground beef. Maybe some browning/caramelizing would not be a bad thing?
  • I saw a lot of tips for freezing the cabbage instead of boiling it, but I also read just as many responses saying that it can drastically affect the texture and not in a good way.
  • I may put in back next time. Maybe inside? Maybe wrapped outside?
  • Hear me out… Reuben cabbage rolls. Corned beef? Sauerkraut? Thousand Island or Russian dressing? Rye breadcrumbs? (We make non-traditional stuffed peppers sometimes, too.)
  • If you like rice, by all means include it. Or barley, or any other grain. I considered those tiny lil’ pasta balls… but maybe I just like to say Acini de Pepe way too much. Some people recommended cauliflower rice, also.
  • Check out all my other recipes and let me know what you think!
  • I got some thoughts from more tips & feedback when I posted photos on the FB food group & Nextdoor, too.
  • Are you still reading? Check out the recipe, and give me your recipes. tips, tricks, advice, and heavily guarded family recipe secrets in the comments.