Tag Archives: Pittsburgh

Tipping is not a city in China

Posted on by Standard 22

Tipping is not a city in China

Has anyone checked? Maybe it really is.

“Tipping is not a city in China” always struck me as amusing since the first time I saw it written in sharpie on a piece of paper and taped to the tip jar residing at the Misfits merchandise table in the late 90s or early 2000s.

I have seen the subject of tipping come up repeatedly lately on Facebook , in the news, and other sources (like actual conversations face-to-face with real live people).  I’ve probably even talked about it here before. Check out this snarky yet brutally honest article by a blogger (& waiter?) that I Re-Tweeted +1’d pinned shared on Facebook a few weeks ago.

Who sets the standards?  The people being tipped (tipees?)?  Their bosses?  The tippers?  Society at large?

The whole process has always confused and bewildered me (& will most likely always continue to).  I was raised thinking that for a waiter/waitress that 15% is a good tip.  For the past several years, through the magic of the internet, I have been told that 20% is a good tip.  So, 20% is the new 15%.  I’m not sure if this varies per area, or if this is all over the US.  I’m not sure if everyone agrees with this, or just your server.  I know some people that still think 10% is acceptable, and it puckers my butt-cheeks.

Things I know:

  • It’s crazy to get out the tip calculator & lave a tip to the penny.
  • In fact, don’t leave change.
  • Waitresses sometimes have to tip busboys, bartenders, and other employees.
  • A tip is expected, even for bad service… just a little one.

Things I don’t know:

  • Say I’m at Bob Evans and I don’t have any cash on me… I tip with the card.  Does my waitress think I stiffed her?
  • When will they just pay waitresses & waiters what they deserve?
  • Is “keep the change” acceptable if it’s an adequate tip, or is that just a pain to figure out?

I always try to leave decent tips, simply because I don’t have a large circle of places to go where I feel comfortable.  (You know about the deathfish, right?)  I’m sure I’ll be back if I find a place that I like.  Why not tip well?  Hopefully I’ll be treated well the next time, & the next time, & the next time..

Here’s where it gets weird…

One waitress at a Diner could come across all of these issues:

Breakfast

Cup of Coffee

Lunch Special

Casual Dinner

Meal Total

$17.95

$1.95

$6.50

$28.40

# of People

2

1

1

2

Table Trips

6

6

3

3

Refills

2

5

0

1

Hours There

1

1½

½

1

20% Tip

$3.59

39₵

$1.30

$5.68

So, in all of these situations, is 20% rule appropriate?  Is it the “no less than $5” rule?  Is there a “no less than $5” rule? Do you get $6 for dinner because of the price of the meal, despite less trips than say a breakfast where you get tons of cheap sides?  What do you tip when you drank a butt-load of coffee?

I used to work night shift on an assembly line at Sony & a bunch of us would hang out at Eat ‘n Park in New Stanton with the late-night UPS employees.  I know I’d always get free stuff… bowls of soup, drinks, grilled stickies…  But I always tipped to include for the amount for that item.  We were hanging out for endless hours, and tables weren’t turning over, so it was only appropriate.

What about a trip to Sonic?

  The Carhop

The Drive Thru

Takes your order:

☒ No

☑ Yes

Reads It back:

? Sometimes

☑ Yes

Takes Your money:

? Sometimes

☑ Yes

Walks (or skates) out of the building:

☑ Yes

☒ No

Hands it to you:

☑ Yes

☑ Yes

You tip the carhop, but probably don’t tip at the drive through… the only real thing that they do differently is exit the building.  For that they get a tip?  (OK, rollerskating carhops deserve a mad tip.)  Why doesn’t the drive-through person get a tip?

How & what do you generally tip?  Do you have any personal guidelines?  What were you taught?  Percentage or straight dollar amount?  Always?  Never?  On Holidays?  Who taught you?

  • The pizza guy (or girl) (…or other food delivery.)
  • Haircut / Wash
  • Car-wash (Magic ash type drying people, and/or fundraiser.)
  • Six Pack Shop / Beer Distributor
  • Doorman
  • Cab / Limo driver
  • Person who takes your bags at the airport
  • Bellhop
  • Furniture delivery
  • Mailman / UPS / FedEx
  • Movers
  • Garbage man
  • Coffee shop or ice cream parlor with a tip jar
  • Touring band’s merchandise table
  • Any sandwich shop, deli, or pizza place where you “eat in” that has a tip jar.
  • Gas station attendant?
  • A masseuse?
  • Anyone I forgot?

If there’s a jar asking for tips…

  • Are you more or less likely to tip?
  • What if it’s funny?
  • What if it’s begging?
  • What if it’s “whiny” or demanding?

I just really find the subject interesting & I’d like to get a discussion going in the comments here.  GO!

(I fully expect my friend Laurel to rant here in the comments, please don’t let her do it alone!  Let’s engage in intelligent discussion.)

TIP JAR

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You may call me… “Bronco Jalapeño”

Posted on by Standard 16

So, Arby’s never did respond.  It’s been over a week.

From: Eric <me@my.email.address>
To: “customerservice@arbys.com”
Sent: Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Subject: Re: Arby’s Feedback #473197

Hello friends,

It’s been a week, and I haven’t heard back from my feedback submission…  #473197.

Any hope of some answers?

Thanks,
-Eric
.seitilibasid gninrael fo nuf ekam ot ynnuf ton yllaer s’tI

I did get this engaging missive after I inquired about a response using my trusty tracking number…

From: “customerservice@arbys.com” <customerservice@arbys.com>
To: me@my.email.address
Sent: Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Subject: Arby’s Feedback #473197 Follow-Up

Dear Arby’s Guest,

This e-mail is related to your feedback tracking number 473197.

In order to better serve our customers, we would like to know if you have been contacted by a representative of Arby’s in our efforts to resolve your issue or answer your question.

We appreciate your comments and will use them to improve the overall experience of our customers at our restaurant.

Sincerely,
Arby’s Guest Feedback Team

So I wrote back (again)…

From: Eric <me@my.email.address>
To: “customerservice@arbys.com” <customerservice@arbys.com>
Sent: Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Subject: Re: Arby’s Feedback #473197 Follow-Up

Hello,

I have not been contacted.  That’s why I wrote again.  Should I include a copy of my 1st email?

Thanks,
-Eric
.seitilibasid gninrael fo nuf ekam ot ynnuf ton yllaer s’tI

Is it just me, or was the purpose of my original email to state that I had not yet received a reply?  Yet, that asked me if I had received a reply?  Are you even reading these emails, Arby’s?

And that (of course) has gone unanswered again.

I even tried Wendy’s because they once owned part of Arby’s…

From: “Domyan, Amanda”
To: “me@my.email.address” <me@my.email.address>
Sent: Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Subject: arbys

Eric,

 I’m sorry they have not responded to you, but Wendy’s and Arby’s are actually not joined together any longer.  We separated about 3 years ago.

 Amanda Domyan

Consumer Relations
One Dave Thomas Blvd.
Dublin, OH 43017
614.764.6800 (Office)
Amanda.domyan@wendys.com

Obviously no help there.

This is what happens when I think out loud, or in type…

https://twitter.com/#!/AiXeLsyD13/status/183032227028926464

https://twitter.com/#!/AiXeLsyD13/status/183032573079982080

Heh. Yeah. @Bronco_Jalapeno was born.

https://twitter.com/#!/Bronco_Jalapeno/status/183038291052986368
https://twitter.com/#!/Bronco_Jalapeno/status/183038412197081090
https://twitter.com/#!/Bronco_Jalapeno/status/183038454639239169
https://twitter.com/#!/Bronco_Jalapeno/status/183038681756610560
https://twitter.com/#!/Bronco_Jalapeno/status/183038762043965440
https://twitter.com/#!/Bronco_Jalapeno/status/183038807271153664
https://twitter.com/#!/Bronco_Jalapeno/status/183038854368985090
https://twitter.com/#!/Bronco_Jalapeno/status/183038888271544321
https://twitter.com/#!/Bronco_Jalapeno/status/183038933083500545
https://twitter.com/#!/Bronco_Jalapeno/status/183038979849990144
https://twitter.com/#!/Bronco_Jalapeno/status/183039017254785025
https://twitter.com/#!/Bronco_Jalapeno/status/183039099576393728
https://twitter.com/#!/Bronco_Jalapeno/status/183039128382869504
https://twitter.com/#!/Bronco_Jalapeno/status/183039215775383552
https://twitter.com/#!/Bronco_Jalapeno/status/183039233336942593
https://twitter.com/#!/Bronco_Jalapeno/status/183039267679911936
https://twitter.com/#!/Bronco_Jalapeno/status/183039349972156416
https://twitter.com/#!/Bronco_Jalapeno/status/183039395258048513
https://twitter.com/#!/Bronco_Jalapeno/status/183039428925722625
https://twitter.com/#!/Bronco_Jalapeno/status/183039579039862784
https://twitter.com/#!/Bronco_Jalapeno/status/183039602842542080
https://twitter.com/#!/Bronco_Jalapeno/status/183039643892187136
https://twitter.com/#!/Bronco_Jalapeno/status/183039675370450944
https://twitter.com/#!/Bronco_Jalapeno/status/183039850092564480

https://twitter.com/#!/Bronco_Jalapeno/status/183040607328018433

This is America, where the crazy vocal fringe minority gets their way.  Let’s get this done, OK?

Arby's Sign

If the sign says it's delicious, it must be delicious... Right?

https://twitter.com/#!/Bronco_Jalapeno/status/183195389812412418

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Nostalgia…

Posted on by Standard 13

So, I upped a bunch of old songs to SoundCloud.  Some aren’t bad.  Some are terrible.  (There’s some AiXeLsyD, some Gasoline Dion, & even some Ernie and the Berts for good measure.)  Feel free to enjoy and/or ignore.

AiXeLsyDI have had many many fun times writing songs & jamming with all of these cats over the years. We have recorded some good stuff, met interesting people, and played some absolutely wild parties & shows.  It’s awesome to have played at parks, in basements, on small stages, in garages, in countless dive bars, on big stages, in back yards, a sports bar, band battles, in cool rock bars, an Elks lodge, a dorm room, American Legions, skate parks, VFW’s, theaters, Fire Halls, and even live on the radio.  (Places I haven’t played yet… on a boat, under-water, on a moving flatbed, outside of the U.S., on TV – Ernie, can you get on booking that?)  Some people even dug our stuff.

Gasoline DionI’m glad to be able to continue to rock out with some old faces & some new faces.  I enjoy that I’m still playing shows, going to shows, rocking out with talented dudes, & continually meeting & being influenced by local musicians & those that are just passing through.  We get together to rock out & have a great time doing so …all while trying to be as goofy as possible.  I’m glad I fell into punk rock as there’s a sense of humor about it all.

Ernie and the BertsI enjoy the exchange of knowledge, whether it’s music trivia geekery, guitars & amps & how they work & how to play them, or just general rock n’ roll legends.  I enjoy being obsessed with goofy guitars yet able to appreciate a nice normal axe.  I enjoy making fun of bands that are doing absolutely terrible things, taking too long to set up, playing too long, or have terrible names.  I enjoy being the target of the same kinds of jeers.

In honor of Saint Patrick’s Day coming soon, I’d like to toast my fellow musicians whether I’ve been in a band with you, shared a stage with you, or just been to one of your shows and told you how much it rocked.

☘  Here’s to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking! ☘

If you cheat, may you cheat death.
If you steal, may you steal a woman’s heart.
If you fight, may you fight for a brother.
And if you drink, may you drink with me.

Please, share with me some memories of the crazy paces you’ve played, the fun (or terrible) times you’ve had with your bands… whether you were in one with me or not.  Share some of the music too!

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Tunnel Monster ☠ Artist Renderings

Posted on by Standard 3

So, I had some Tunnel Monster submissions, but I’d like some more.  These hail from Josh, Joel, & Ian. Thanks to those guys for being awesome and taking the time to create these artist renderings.  These men are true believers in the Tunnel Monster.

No replies from anyone at History or Discovery either.  Poo, I say.  Poo.  Poo indeed.

Get on it, people!  We need more!  Aren’t you curious as to what the Tunnel Monster may look like?  No one put a Sarlacc in a tunnel hole?  I find your lack of participation disturbing.

Not submissions, but fun recommendations from Zemanta…

Tunnel monster.jpg

Tunnel monster.jpg (Photo credit: Oyvind Solstad)

monster in the tunnel

monster in the tunnel (Photo credit: danielle_blue)

The Special Edition version of the sarlacc wit...

Image via Wikipedia

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OCCUPY ARBY’S

Posted on by Standard 18

Comparing my minor inconveniences to a “massive” political movement?  Yes.  I just did that.  I generally make light of many things.  You’re about to read one of those things.

Arby's :: Jalapeno Bites® with Bronco Berry Sauce®

"*Limited availability at participating locations" roughly translates to "NONE FOR YOU!"

Arby’s has stopped serving Jalapeño Bites (& more importantly the Bronco Berry Sauce) in some areas.  I became informed of this travesty via Twitter…

https://twitter.com/#!/AiXeLsyD13/status/178608117976801281

These tweeters’ tweets are locked, so I can’t do a fancy repost, but…

@BlondeYinzer
@AiXeLsyD13 @arbys ring away those b*stards took jalapeño poppers off the menu #thehorror

@BlondeYinzer
@AiXeLsyD13 @arbys I don’t know if it’s a local pgh thing but the one by my house said last week they are gone!!! :o( I’m traumatized!!!

@AllergyBird
@AiXeLsyD13 you write the best letters… @BlondeYinzer @arbys

https://twitter.com/#!/Arbys/status/178613977838923776

https://twitter.com/#!/Arbys/status/178614177575862272

https://twitter.com/#!/AiXeLsyD13/status/179585155038588928

https://twitter.com/#!/Arbys/status/179594492217790466

https://twitter.com/#!/Arbys/status/179594585595580416

https://twitter.com/#!/AiXeLsyD13/status/179617235881558016

No reply to that last one, of course.

There’s even a Facebook page dedicated to the plight: Facebook | Bring Back Arby’s Jalapeno Bites

There’s a slightly less eloquent Facebook page that also might be upset: Facebook | Bronco Berry Sauce

This is ridiculous.  I can be more ridiculous.  So, I decided to submit an email via Arby’s webform:

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

No more Jalapeño Poppers & (perhaps more importantly) BRONCO BERRY SAUCE®?

Please tell me that this is temporary insanity & that they will be back soon.  Please?

I understand that the stores were given a choice between carrying some loaded potato bite shenanigans and the Jalapeño poppers, and local stores in my area (Pittsburgh, PA) opted for the not-so-awesome menu selection.

I understand that we (the consumers) are directed to voice our opinions to the local Arby’s locations.

My questions to you are as follows…

☘ WHY?  Why did they have to choose?  Why not carry both?

☘ WHY (again)?  Why would one choose some potato things over the awesomeness that is BRONCO BERRY SAUCE® (& Jalapeño Poppers)?

☘ HOW?  How do I contact the local Arby’s via email?  Do they each have email addresses?  Is there a regional manager?

☘ WELL?  If I can’t get the BRONCO BERRY SAUCE® locally, can I order some online?  Will you start bottling & selling it in grocery stores now that it’s no longer readily available to the masses?

It most certainly does not put me in a good mood to not have my BRONCO BERRY SAUCE®.  I’m pretty sure I could straight-up just drink the stuff were it a little thinner.  Rude Mood Food is more like it now, my friends.

I may have to organize an OCCUPY ARBY’S at a nearby location.  It may get crazy.  There may be news cameras.  It will be a peaceful protest, so please don’t pepper spray any of us.  You may, however, shower us with packets of BRONCO BERRY SAUCE® and hot fresh Jalapeño Poppers.  We’ll have to chant things like “Don’t be a dingleberry, bring back the Bronco Berry!”, “No Jalapeños dude, that’s Rude Mood Food!”, or “Potato Bites, really bite!” (Well, that one may need work.)

Please, talk some sense into the Arby’s locations in the Pittsburgh area before it comes down to this insanity.

Bronco Berry Backer,
-Eric

This is all I have received so far:

From: “customerservice@arbys.com” <customerservice@arbys.com>
To: me@my.email.address
Sent: Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Subject: Arby’s Feedback #473197

Dear Arby’s Guest,

We have received your Guest Feedback message and are directing it to the appropriate department. For follow-up purposes, your feedback tracking number is 473197.

Your feedback helps us improve the overall guest experience at our restaurants. Thank you for taking the time to contact us.

Sincerely,
Arby’s Guest Feedback Team

Ridiculous. It’s still not the most ridiculous thing that’s happened in an Arby’s parking lot around here.  I mean, remember this dude?

Arby's Sign

If they have to tell you that it's delicious, maybe it's not really delicious.

Not that I’m the biggest Arby’s fan in the first place.  I’m more of a fan of actual Roast Beef, not this lunch-meat stuff like Arby’s or the all-gone-except-the-ones-on-the-Turnpike Roy Rogers has.  (Remember Rax?  They had that too.)  Ever been to Lion’s Choice?  I believe they’re centered around St. Louis.  That, my friends, is how roast beef is done.

You might say “just get your jalapeño bites (or poppers) somewhere else, you weirdo”.  To that, I say…

Are we clear?

Are you also angry about this?  Voice your opinions below… perhaps we can get Arby’s to look here & reconsider this grievous error.  If not, maybe we’ll to the Occupy Arby’s thing.  I bet we could get on the news.

Beyond that, the next step may be petitioning McDonald’s, Wendy’s, & Chick-fil-A to carry them…

Do you have any suggestions for protest slogans?  Would you join an Occupy Arby’s movement?  What should be our next course of action?

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Dethlehem needs your help.

Posted on by Standard Reply

This is a commercial begging for your help.  It doesn’t involve a Sarah McLaughlin song, a puppy with one eye, Sally Struthers, or a starving child.  Without the usual ingredients, I’m not sure it will work.  So, I’m helping by spreading the word.

Help Fund Dethlehem 2012 Tour

Glorious Treasures shall be showered upon you!

It does involve a band stuck venturing out into a world that they don’t understand.  The warriors of Dethlehem have traveled in & out of Ghorusalem defeating all manner of orcs, ogres, trolls, & wizards; taming flying dragons; losing & gaining comrades along the way.  They are ready to conquer the evil plaguing your land, but they need gold in order to complete their quest.

Their magical horse needs new shoes, and fuel… and a chariot to carry all of their necessary battle gear.  In exchange for your allegiance and gold, you will be rewarded with protection from all manner of evil and special unique treasures.

Please watch their message below:

…and read their decree:

Help Fund Dethlehem 2012 Tour

They’re already part of the way to their goal, but they still need more help, my friends!  Kickstarter has worked for Ernie and the Berts in funding a forthcoming album.  I’ve written about Dethlehem many times before and consider them great friends… Please seriously consider helping these dudes rock the faces off the collective masses.

Help Dethlehem bring this sort of shenanigans to your town!

Overlord Brom commands you!

OVERLORD BROM

"Hmmwp Dwmwhmwm gmwn mwnwn Twrwr!"

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In search of the Tunnel Monster…

Posted on by Standard 35

We have all heard talk of the Pittsburgh tunnel monster.  There are other sites that talk about it and claim that it’s not real, simply poor planning by the engineers that designed the traffic flow in & around the city, or my favorite… that it’s simply Pittsburgh drivers slowing down for absolutely no reason!  I mean, how crazy is that?  Slowing down for no discernible reason?  That’s just insane, my friends.

Obviously there is something to the tunnel monster rumors.  I have discovered a few artists’ renderings online.  (I’d like to see more!)  I decided to call in the big guns from the History Channel to investigate…

Hello Heads of Historical Heavy-Hitting!

I’m a big fan of all of your shows, I’m always watching Pawn Stars, Swamp People, American Restoration, American Pickers, Ancient Aliens, or one of your many informative yet incredibly entertaining offerings.  One of my favorites is Monster Quest.  I’m always intrigued by new evidence of cryptids, and am captivated by new Bigfoot or yeti sounds, hairs, tracks, eyewitness accounts, theories, and the like.  I enjoy thought-provoking television where I’m able to learn some things or open my mind to new possibilities.

I believe that we have a monster in the Pittsburgh area that you may want to check out.  It’s affectionately referred to as the Tunnel Monster.  People in the southwestern Pennsylvania area live in a great fear of the Tunnel Monster.  Many yinzer drivers slow down as they approach any area tunnel… but most especially the Fort Pitt Tunnels, Liberty “Tubes”, and the Squirrel Hill Tunnels.  I’ve heard theories that the tunnel monster also perhaps takes shelter in one or all of the three rivers when not lurking in the tunnel.

Fear seems to increase in times of rain, snow, and (perhaps strangely) before sporting events, holiday festivities, and large concerts.  I believe we have weekday tunnel anxiety between 7:00am & 9:00am, and again from 2:00pm to 7:00pm at all tunnels.  I’ve never heard a first-hand account of an actual sighting, but it’s clear that there is something strange happening at these locations.  There are also spikes of Tunnel Monster fear when traffic accidents happen nearby.  Perhaps the tunnel monster feeds on broken down cars, flat tires, or the corpses left in the wake of fatal accidents?  Rubberneckers seem to be ripe for the picking also.

I have personally seen 18-wheelers get to the entrance of a tunnel and turn completely around, most likely out of fear of the tunnel monster perhaps lurking within the yellow-hued florescent-lit man made caverns.  Some people go through the entire length of a tunnel holding their breath so the tunnel monster doesn’t steal it, or honking their horn the entire way to scare it off.  I’ve seen motorcycles and ambulances go right down the center line at accelerated speeds, no doubt trying to avoid a tragic end.  I’ve even heard of people tapping the roof of their car when spotting a Padiddle to ward off the evil tunnel monster.  The theory perhaps being that the tunnel monster is on the hood of the other car, and its webbed fin (a paddle or “padiddle”) is blocking one headlight.

I have seen strange markings on the inside of they Liberty Tunnels, but they have since been covered-over.  They were strange numbers and hieroglyphic-like symbols that appeared right before a construction project.  Do you think the crews working in the tunnel are in any danger?  Perhaps it’s a conspiracy?  Are they in there hunting for the tunnel monster under the guise of construction efforts while they cover up the monster’s cave paintings?  Could the monster be some sort of Neanderthal, or perhaps a supernatural being, or some sort of demon?

There are countless videos on YouTube documenting fearless drives through the Fort Pitt Tunnels, but I don’t believe that any concrete video evidence has been recorded.  I have attached some artist renderings of the Tunnel Monster that I have found on the internet.  Perhaps you would like your experts to interview the area residents and come up with your own?

I really would like someone to get to the bottom of this Tunnel Monster thing, and I believe that Monster Quest is perfectly suited for the job!  Thank you for your time, I hope to hear from you soon!

Not afraid of the Tunnel Monster,
-Waldo Lunar
World (and Lunar) Domination

These were the attached pictures:

The Pittsburgh Tunnel Monster (as presented by Boring Pittsburgh)

The Pittsburgh Tunnel Monster (as presented by Boring Pittsburgh)

Steely McTunnelMonster

PENNDOT Uses Magic Eight Ball To Determine Travel Time on Parkway East (by Angry Mongo)

Sadly, my emails have fallen upon deaf ears/blind eyes.   I have tweeted at the History Channel, used their contact forms (submit a ticket & submit feedback), and dug up emails for the MonsterQuest production company.

When I learned that MonsterQuest was no longer in production, I moved on to the people behind MysteryQuest.  I wrote to their production company too… again to no avail (so far, anyway).

This must be investigated.  I refuse to be ignored!

I submitted the following (again via stupid contact form) to the people behind one of my favorite History shows, Ancient Aliens:

Shalom Science Soul-mates,

I recently had a show idea for MonsterQuest, to find that they are no longer in production… and I haven’t had any replies from their production company, the History Channel, A&E, or even from any of the people involved with MysteryQuest.  Perhaps you can take a look at my attached letter, and somehow tie these mysterious happenings into extraterrestrials or ancient astronauts?  Who built the first tunnels?  Was it aliens?  Were horses & chariots ever afraid of tunnels?  Did this only happen since the invention of the automobile?  Was Henry Ford working with alien technology?

I cannot wait to hear from you.  I can’t contain my excitement.  The original letter attached…

[Message from above included here.]

Since I can’t attach something in a contact form, here are links to the aforementioned photos:

http://i127.photobucket.com/albums/p139/worldandlunardomination/Pittsburgh%20Tunnel%20Monster/ThePittsburghTunnelMonster.jpg

http://i127.photobucket.com/albums/p139/worldandlunardomination/Pittsburgh%20Tunnel%20Monster/TunnelMonster.jpg

Thank you for your time & assistance!

Live long and prosper, and may the force be with you!
-Waldo Lunar
World (and Lunar) Domination

I'm not saying it was aliens... but it was aliens.

Giorgio A. Tsoukalos (Ancient Aliens)

Perhaps they will be able to help?  I don’t like being ignored.  I hope the Tunnel Monster isn’t somehow able to monitor my transmissions and stop anyone from replying.  (Looks like the Tunnel Monster is on Facebook & Twitter – so it may be more technologically advanced than we thought.)

I’m sure the phenomenon isn’t isolated to the Steel City.  I bet it happens with tunnels all over the world.  Is there just one tunnel monster?  Are there many?

Perhaps I will need to put together my own team to investigate.  I’m guessing that since the local news has never touched upon this, that they’re scared of losing a reporter or a cameraman?

The Mythfits

The Mythfits

I’m thinking of also contacting Mythbusters and Dirty Jobs.  I’m a huge fan of both of those Discovery Channel shows.  Mike Rowe is clearly not afraid of anything, maybe he could team up with Adam, Jamie, & the Mythfits.  I hope I don’t have to reach out to Billy the Exterminator or Dog the Bounty Hunter.  If we tell Andrew Zimmern that he can eat the tunnel monster (or at least its eyeballs & testicles) maybe he’ll come investigate?

Is there anyone else that you feel I should reach out to?  Please, send me your suggestions!

Also, I would love it if you would send me your own artist renderings of the tunnel monster.  You can find plenty of photos of the Squirrel Hill Tunnel, The Fort Pitt Tunnel, The Liberty Tunnel, or even the Wabash (or any other local) tunnel online to start with… or you can start from scratch!

You can email submissions to me at world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com or post them in the comments below!

View inside the southbound/westbound half of t...

This is the monster's tunnel, we're just passing through...

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☘·☠·⚔·✪ Real McKenzies, Goddamn Gallows, The Bloody Seamen, Ernie and the Berts – Tue. Jun. 5th @ Altar Bar! ☘·☠·⚔·✪

Posted on by Standard 14

That’s right, Ernie and the Berts are opening for Real McKenzies, Goddamn Gallows, & The Bloody Seamen on June 5th at the Altar Bar!

Hello faithful readers.  I’d like to sell mad tickets for this.  The Real McKenzies are right up my alley, these Goddamn Gallows cats look to be our kind of insane, & the Bloody Seamen remind of us our new bff‘s The Botched for some reason.

This is my personal plea to all of you to come out to this show & show us (Ernie and the Berts – the band, and the people) your support.  We’re selling the tickets for $12 a pop in advance, and we hope to sell out quick… so get a hold of me, or get a hold of Erin at ernie@ernieandtheberts.com to score your tix.

I know it’s a Tuesday, and I know it’s not a $5 bar show… but shows like this really help us get our music/name/faces out there.  Don’t you want more people to be aware of the nearly-controlled chaos that is Ernie and the Berts?

Drusky is getting warm to us, and it seems like the Altar Bar digs us… so we’d like to play more shows there more often.  The best way to do that is for us to convince your collective ass to come out to the shows, support national touring acts, local venues & entertainment companies, and local music…. and most of all to have a good time!

I mean, we like to be extra goofy, you never know what Ernie’s up to next.  The Seamen are just ridiculous and you have to see them live to believe it.  Look at the Gallow’s dudes photo & tell me they don’t like to party.  I hear that the Real McKenzies don’t wear anything under their kilts.  You have something going on a Tuesday night that can compare to that awesomeness?

Yeah, you have to get up for work the next day.  So do I.  So do most of the guys in the local bands.  You can deal with it.  Drink an extra coffee in the morning and man (or woman) up.

So, how many tickets do you want?

The Real McKenzies

The Real McKenzies

The Goddamn Gallows

The Goddamn Gallows

The Bloody Seamen

The Bloody Seamen

Ernie and the Berts

Ernie and the Berts

Here are all the details so far, I hope to make a flyer as soon as possible…

The Bands:

The Place:

The Details:

http://twitter.com/#!/AltarBar/status/172831020033388544

Here’s a taste of what you might get…

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Valley of Steel | Out Today: Fist Fight in the Parking Lot – Self-Titled

Posted on by Standard 4

Checkout this review of my new favorite badass album from Fist Fight in the Parking Lot:

Valley of Steel | Out Today: Fist Fight in the Parking Lot – Self-Titled

Fist Fight in the Parking Lot

Fist Fight in the Parking Lot

Eric’s got a cool blog, a good ear, a great site, and a cool name.  Why wouldn’t we value his opinions?  Read that, then buy the disc.  Buy a download & a CD like me.  Buy a copy for a friend.

I’ve been listening today & I really dig it.  It’s very Sabbath & Sword-like to my ears… it’s got metal, rock, groove, and a great feel.  My head couldn’t decide whether to bob or bang.

Also, they’re all just really cool people.  Congratulations to them for crafting such a great disc, & to everyone who helped them get it together & push it out there.

This is the kind of band I’m glad to have represent Pittsburgh, unlike some others I won’t mention.  They’re getting mad press lately.  Are they the saviors of the Pittsburgh Rock scene?  Listen to the album & you decide.

http://twitter.com/#!/FFITPL/status/172680959097978881

http://twitter.com/#!/FFITPL/status/172536291135717377

http://twitter.com/#!/FFITPL/status/172391377802502145

http://twitter.com/#!/FFITPL/status/171994774574874624

http://twitter.com/#!/FFITPL/status/172344295695712256

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