I’d just like to go on record saying I don’t like bathroom attendants. I’ve been to two venues lately that have had them, the Diesel Club Lounge & the Altar Bar. My run-in last night at the Altar Bar was odd. I went into the stall to relieve myself, and came out to the faucet running, a dude squirting soap in my hands, and handing me some towels when I was done. It’s odd to have someone do something for me that I could have easily done myself.
Imagine you’re walking down the street and your shoe comes untied, I run up to tie your shoe, & expect a tip. I would be met with a resounding “WTF?” because I wasn’t asked to help. Yet, I helped you, and you had no choice. Odd there. Odd in the bathroom.
We can suspend the general “stage fright” issue, knowing it’s weird that there’s a dude standing less than 10 feet away, but it is a public bathroom so there’s always that distraction. It’s just the other guys are there doing the same thing as you, not offering any services.
Poop-flavored candy, cakes, & gum!
Speaking of offering services… No, I don’t want any gum, candy, Swiss cake rolls, or honey buns that have been sitting in the bathroom. Can’t you at least put that part right outside the door? I don’t generally have food in my bathroom at home…. why would I want it anywhere else? How many foul smells & horrible germs must those foods absorb before you’re able to sell them? I’m not a smoker, but I’m guessing that people who are also don’t want cigarettes that smell like they were pulled out of a sewer.
Why are you trying to sell me food in the bathroom? No, I don’t need cologne or deodorant, or anything else. When I’m urinating, it’s my own special alone time. I don’t need to chat or dine afterwards to celebrate.
Thank goodness I didn’t need to defecate last night. Who wants to poop with someone hanging out ready to smell that? Not to be disgusting, but we all do it, and we all know it smells horrible sometimes. Who the hell wants to stand in a room selling absorbent little cakes while that’s going on? (Would he build a nest for me? Is that guy ready to wipe & wet-nap my ass too? Do you have to tip extra for that?)
I can see the plus sides… perhaps a person in there deters people from being general pigs, graffiti, illicit activities, and promotes hand-washing. They probably never run out of towels, soap, or toilet paper. But, really, why not just check on things periodically and put up a sign.
Do these attendants get paid, or do they work only for tips & poop-flavored candy sales? How does one get a position as a urination supervision specialist?
Shouldn’t I have a chance to refuse their services entirely if it creeps me out?
Where & why did this all start?
We live by Carnegie Mellon, can’t someone make some robots for this job that aren’t creepy & that don’t require tips?
Enlighten me.
World (and Lunar) Domination 