Tag Archives: Recipes

Mushroom-Swiss Meatloaf Dinner

Posted on by Standard 1

I was hungry for meatloaf. I typically just wing it. Sometimes it’s the classic ketchup/mustard/BBQ (or A1) glaze. Sometimes there’s cheese. Sometimes it’s breadcrumbs. Sometimes it’s chunks of bread soaked in milk. Sometimes there’s shredded veggies like carrots or zucchini. Sometimes there’s hardboiled eggs inside & it’s wrapped in bacon. One time I made it in a crock pot just because someone said you shouldn’t, and meatloaf on the smoker is absolutely a win.

This was a win with the wife & kids, so I;’ll definitely be making it again!

I guess I like leftover meatloaf sandwiches enough to post about it on Threads not just once, but twice.

Mushroom, Onion, & Swiss/Gruyรจre Meatloaf
Mushroom, Onion, & Swiss/Gruyรจre Meatloaf, CHeesy Mashed Potatoes with mushroom & onion gravy & glazed carrots.

Tonight I had the idea to throw a bunch of stuff together, then tie it in to gravy & mashed potatoes. I could have sauteed onions & mushrooms, but this was quick easy weeknight dinner chaos. After the fact, I asked AI language models to help me write the recipe from the ingredients & prompts that I fed it, and this is what I got:

๐Ÿด

Gemini:

That’s fantastic! Thanks for the extra detailsโ€”this sounds like a truly unique and delicious meatloaf. I’m especially impressed by the use of bread on the bottom to absorb grease and the beef bouillon in the mashed potatoes. Those are great pro tips!

Based on your ingredients and methods, here is a formatted recipe. Since you eyeballed a lot of the measurements, I’ve provided my best guess for the quantities. Feel free to adjust as you like for your blog post, since you’re the true master of this creation!

My “Crazy Good” Mushroom & Swiss Meatloaf Dinner

This recipe takes classic meatloaf and elevates it with a secret ingredientโ€”a creamy mushroom sauce that’s mixed into the meat and used as a savory glaze. Served with cheesy mashed potatoes and a mushroom-loaded gravy, this is the ultimate comfort food meal.

Ingredients

For the Meatloaf:

  • 2 lbs. ground beef
  • 1 lb. lean ground beef
  • ยฝ cup panko bread crumbs
  • ยฝ cup regular bread crumbs
  • 1 cup crushed French fried onions
  • 1โ„3 can (10.5 oz.) condensed cream of mushroom soup
  • ยฝ can (4 oz.)) mushrooms, stems & pieces, finely diced
  • ยผ cup shredded Swiss & Gruyรจre cheese blend
  • 3 to 4 glugs of A1 steak sauce
  • 1 tbsp. Mrs. Dash Table Blend seasoning
  • 1 tsp. ground mustard
  • 1 tsp. black pepper
  • 1 tsp. onion powder
  • 1 tsp. garlic powder
  • 1 tsp. seasoned salt
  • 3 slices of white bread (for placing under the loaf)

For the Mushroom Glaze:

  • The remainder of the can of condensed cream of mushroom soup
  • 3 to 4 glugs of A1 steak sauce
  • ยฝ cup shredded Swiss & Gruyรจre cheese blend
  • The remainder of the can of mushrooms, stems & pieces
  • ยฝ cup whole French fried onions

Instructions

  1. Preheat your oven to 375ยฐF (190ยฐC).
  2. On a sheet pan, arrange the three slices of white bread in a row. These will absorb the grease from the meatloaf.
  3. In a large bowl, combine the ground beef, lean ground beef, panko and regular bread crumbs, crushed French fried onions, cream of mushroom soup, diced mushrooms, shredded cheese, and A1 steak sauce.
  4. Add the Mrs. Dash, ground mustard, black pepper, onion powder, garlic powder, and seasoned salt. Using your hands, mix all ingredients thoroughly until just combined. Be careful not to overmix.
  5. Form the meat mixture into a loaf shape and place it on top of the three slices of white bread on the sheet pan.
  6. Bake for 1 hour and 15 minutes, or until the internal temperature reaches 160ยฐF (71ยฐC) with a meat thermometer.
  7. While the meatloaf is baking, prepare the glaze by mixing the remaining cream of mushroom soup, A1 steak sauce, cheese, and mushrooms in a small bowl.
  8. After 1 hour and 15 minutes, remove the meatloaf from the oven. Spread the prepared glaze evenly over the top, then sprinkle the whole French fried onions on top.
  9. Return the meatloaf to the oven for another 15 minutes, or until the glaze is bubbly and the onions are golden brown. Let rest for a few minutes before slicing and serving.

Suggested Sides

Cheesy Mashed Potatoes

Prepare a box of instant mashed potatoes according to the package directions. For a savory twist, use a beef bouillon cube in place of salt. Add buttermilk along with the milk, and season with black pepper, onion powder, and garlic powder. Stir in shredded cheese until it melts.

Mushroom Gravy

Prepare a packet of brown gravy mix. Once finished, stir in a can of cream of mushroom soup, a can of mushrooms, and a handful of crushed French fried onions.

Sweet Paprika Carrots

Cook canned carrots with a bit of butter, a pinch of brown sugar, and a dash of paprika until heated through.

Your dinner sounds incredible! Would you like me to draft a more detailed blog post introduction or a full recipe card for you, or do you have enough to get started?

๐Ÿด

ChatGPT:

That sounds like a seriously comfort-food feast โ€” meatloaf, cheesy potatoes, mushroom-onion gravy, and sweet carrots. Perfect blog material. I can help you format this into a clean recipe write-up, with estimated amounts for the “eyeballed” parts so itโ€™s easy to follow but still keeps your personal style.

Hereโ€™s a draft you could paste into WordPress and tweak to taste:

Crazy Good Meatloaf Dinner ๐Ÿฝ๏ธ

This is one of those meals where everything came together just right โ€” a loaded, flavorful meatloaf with a cheesy mushroom glaze, creamy mashed potatoes, savory gravy, and sweet carrots on the side.

Meatloaf

Ingredients

  • 2 lbs ground beef
  • 1 lb lean ground beef
  • ยพ cup panko bread crumbs
  • ยฝ cup regular bread crumbs
  • ยฝ cup crushed French fried onions (plus more for topping)
  • 1 can (10.5 oz) cream of mushroom soup (divided)
  • 1 small can mushrooms, stems & pieces or sliced (divided, finely dice half)
  • 1 cup shredded Swiss & Gruyรจre cheese (divided)
  • 2โ€“3 Tbsp A1 steak sauce (plus more for glaze)
  • 1 tsp Mrs. Dash Table Blend
  • ยฝ tsp ground mustard
  • 1 tsp black pepper
  • 1 tsp onion powder
  • 1 tsp garlic powder
  • 1 tsp season salt
  • 3 slices white bread (to go under the loaf, absorbs grease)

Instructions

  1. Preheat oven to 375ยฐF. Line a sheet pan with foil and place the 3 slices of white bread in the center.
  2. In a large bowl, combine:
    • Ground beefs
    • โ…“ of the mushroom soup
    • ยฝ the can of mushrooms (finely diced)
    • A couple glugs of A1
    • About ยฝ cup shredded cheese
    • Bread crumbs, crushed fried onions, and all seasonings
      Mix gently until just combined.
  3. Form mixture into a loaf on top of the bread slices.
  4. Bake uncovered for 1 hour 15 minutes.
  5. Meanwhile, make the glaze: Mix remaining mushroom soup, the rest of the mushrooms, a splash more A1, and ยฝ cup shredded cheese.
  6. Spread glaze over meatloaf, top with more French fried onions, and return to oven for 15 minutes.
  7. Check with a thermometer โ€” internal temp should be 160ยฐF.

Cheesy Mashed Potatoes

Ingredients

  • 1 box instant mashed potatoes
  • 1 beef bouillon cube (use in the water instead of salt)
  • ยฝ cup shredded cheese
  • 2โ€“3 Tbsp buttermilk (in addition to milk called for)
  • Black pepper, onion powder, garlic powder (to taste)

Instructions

  1. Prepare potatoes according to box, replacing salt with beef bouillon.
  2. Stir in cheese, buttermilk, and seasonings.

Mushroom-Onion Gravy

Ingredients

  • 1 packet brown gravy mix (prepared according to directions)
  • 1 can cream of mushroom soup
  • 1 can mushrooms
  • ยผ cup crushed French fried onions

Instructions

  1. Prepare gravy mix.
  2. Stir in mushroom soup, mushrooms, and fried onions. Simmer until thick and rich.

Brown Sugar Carrots

Ingredients

  • 1 can sliced carrots (drained)
  • 1 Tbsp butter
  • 1 tsp brown sugar
  • ยฝ tsp paprika

Instructions

  1. Warm carrots in a pan with butter.
  2. Add brown sugar and paprika, stir until glazed.

๐Ÿ”ฅ Plate it up: thick slices of meatloaf with mushroom glaze, a scoop of cheesy mashed potatoes covered in gravy, and sweet carrots on the side.

Do you want me to make the recipe section blog-ready with your voice (like you did with your pretzel blob post โ€” casual, funny, irreverent), or do you prefer the cleaner, โ€œrecipe cardโ€ format for this one?

๐Ÿด

Perplexity:

Perfect โ€” what a feast! Letโ€™s capture your meatloaf dinner in a polished, blog-ready recipe format. Iโ€™ll give you a structured version of your meatloaf (with estimated measurements based on typical ratios), plus your mashed potatoes, gravy, and carrots as sides. You can edit the amounts if you think theyโ€™re too light or heavy compared to what you actually eyeballed.

๐Ÿฝ๏ธ Mushroom-Swiss Meatloaf Dinner

This hearty meatloaf dinner is rich with beef, mushrooms, Swiss and Gruyรจre, and topped with a savory mushroom glaze and crispy onions. A full comfort food plate with cheesy mashed potatoes, mushroom gravy, and buttery carrots.

Meatloaf

Ingredients

  • 2 lbs ground beef (80/20 works well)
  • 1 lb lean ground beef
  • ยพ cup panko breadcrumbs
  • ยผ cup regular breadcrumbs
  • ยฝ cup crushed French fried onions
  • โ…“ can (about 10 oz can) cream of mushroom soup (approx. โ…“ cup)
  • ยฝ can mushroom stems & pieces (approx. ยฝ cup, chopped finely)
  • ยฝ cup shredded Swiss & Gruyรจre cheese blend
  • 2โ€“3 tablespoons A1 steak sauce (a few glugs)
  • 1 teaspoon Mrs. Dash Table Blend (or more to taste)
  • 1 teaspoon ground mustard
  • ยฝ teaspoon black pepper
  • 1 teaspoon onion powder
  • 1 teaspoon garlic powder
  • 1 teaspoon seasoned salt
  • 3 slices white bread (to set loaf on while baking; absorbs grease)

Mushroom Glaze

  • Remaining cream of mushroom soup (~โ…” cup)
  • Remaining ยฝ can mushrooms (~ยฝ cup, sliced)
  • ยผโ€“ยฝ cup shredded Swiss & Gruyรจre cheese
  • 1โ€“2 tablespoons A1 sauce
  • Handful of French fried onions (for topping)

Instructions

  1. Preheat ovenย to 375ยฐF. Line a baking sheet with foil and place the 3 slices of bread in the center (to act as a base for the meatloaf).
  2. Mix the meatloaf: In a large bowl, combine ground beefs, breadcrumbs, crushed onions, mushroom soup (โ…“ can), mushrooms (ยฝ can, diced), shredded cheese (ยฝ cup), A1, and seasonings. Mix until just combined โ€” donโ€™t overwork.
  3. Form the loafย on top of the bread slices.
  4. Bakeย for 1 hour 15 minutes, until nearly cooked through. Internal temp should be around 150ยฐF.
  5. Make the glaze: Stir together mushroom soup (remaining โ…” can), mushrooms (remaining ยฝ can), cheese, and A1. Spread evenly over meatloaf, then top with French fried onions.
  6. Return to ovenย for 15 minutes more, until internal temp reaches 160ยฐF and glaze is bubbling.
  7. Rest 10 minutesย before slicing.

Cheesy Buttermilk Mashed Potatoes

Ingredients

  • 1 box instant mashed potatoes (prepared according to package)
  • 1 beef bouillon cube (used in place of salt in boiling water)
  • ยฝ cup shredded cheese (cheddar, Swiss, or blend)
  • ยฝ cup milk + splash of buttermilk
  • ยฝ teaspoon black pepper
  • ยฝ teaspoon onion powder
  • ยฝ teaspoon garlic powder

Instructions

  1. Prepare boxed mashed potatoes, dissolving beef bouillon in water before adding potato flakes.
  2. Stir in cheese, milk, and buttermilk.
  3. Season with pepper, onion powder, and garlic powder to taste.

Mushroom-Onion Brown Gravy

Ingredients

  • 1 packet brown gravy mix (prepared according to package)
  • 1 can cream of mushroom soup
  • 1 can mushroom stems & pieces, drained
  • ยฝ cup French fried onions, crumbled

Instructions

  1. Cook gravy mix as directed.
  2. Stir in mushroom soup, mushrooms, and fried onions. Simmer until hot and thickened.

Candied Butter Carrots

Ingredients

  • 1 can carrots, drained
  • 1 tablespoon butter
  • 1 tablespoon brown sugar
  • ยฝ teaspoon paprika

Instructions

  1. Heat carrots in a skillet with butter.
  2. Stir in brown sugar and paprika.
  3. Cook until glazed and heated through.

โœ… Serving suggestion: Plate a hearty slice of meatloaf with a scoop of mashed potatoes topped with mushroom gravy, and a helping of sweet carrots on the side. Donโ€™t forget extra crispy onions on top for crunch!

Would you like me to keep the recipe in a conversational, cozy “blogger” style (like a story around the dinner), or a sleek cookbook style (straight to the recipe)?

๐Ÿด

Copilot:

Absolutely, Ericโ€”this meatloaf sounds like a punk rock symphony in casserole form. Letโ€™s immortalize it with a blog-ready recipe that captures the chaos, comfort, and culinary swagger. Iโ€™ll format it with clear sections, estimated measurements, and your signature storytelling flair.

๐Ÿง  Ericโ€™s โ€œDad Shit Deluxeโ€ Meatloaf Dinner

A meatloaf so good it deserves its own zine spread.

๐Ÿ– Meatloaf Ingredients

  • 2 lbs ground beef
  • 1 lb lean ground beef
  • ยฝ cup panko breadcrumbs
  • ยฝ cup regular breadcrumbs
  • ยฝ cup crushed french fried onions
  • โ…“ can (about 4โ€“5 tbsp) cream of mushroom soup
  • ยฝ can mushroom stems & pieces, finely diced
  • 1โ€“2 glugs A1 steak sauce (about 2 tbsp)
  • ยฝ cup shredded Swiss & Gruyรจre cheese
  • 3 slices white bread (for under the loaf)

๐Ÿง‚ Seasonings (eyeballed, but hereโ€™s a guess)

  • 1 tsp Mrs. Dash Table Blend
  • ยฝ tsp ground mustard
  • ยฝ tsp black pepper
  • ยฝ tsp onion powder
  • ยฝ tsp garlic powder
  • ยฝ tsp seasoned salt

๐Ÿงช Glaze Ingredients

  • Remaining cream of mushroom soup (~โ…” can)
  • Remaining mushrooms (~ยฝ can), roughly chopped
  • 1โ€“2 more glugs A1 steak sauce
  • ยผ cup shredded Swiss & Gruyรจre
  • Handful of whole french fried onions (for topping)

๐Ÿ”ฅ Instructions

  1. Preheat oven to 375ยฐF.
  2. Form the loaf: Mix all meatloaf ingredients (except the white bread) in a large bowl. Shape into a loaf and place it directly on top of the 3 slices of white bread on a sheet pan. The bread will soak up grease and prevent burning.
  3. Bake for 1 hour and 15 minutes.
  4. Make the glaze: Combine remaining mushroom soup, mushrooms, A1, and cheese.
  5. Top and finish: Spread glaze over the meatloaf, sprinkle with whole french fried onions, and return to oven for another 15 minutes.
  6. Check internal temp: Use a meat thermometer to ensure it hits 160ยฐF.

๐Ÿฅ” Sides That Slap

๐Ÿง€ Beefed-Up Instant Mashed Potatoes

  • 1 box instant mashed potatoes
  • 1 beef bouillon cube (in water instead of salt)
  • ยฝ cup shredded cheese
  • ยผ cup buttermilk
  • ยฝ tsp each: black pepper, onion powder, garlic powder

Mix per box instructions, swapping salt for bouillon cube. Add cheese, buttermilk, and seasonings. Stir until creamy and punk-approved.

๐Ÿ„ Mushroom Gravy Hack

  • 1 packet brown gravy mix
  • 1 can cream of mushroom soup
  • 1 can mushrooms
  • ยผ cup crumbled french fried onions

Prepare gravy mix as directed. Stir in soup, mushrooms, and onions. Simmer until thick and glorious.

๐Ÿฅ• Sweet & Smoky Carrots

  • 1 can sliced carrots
  • 1 tbsp butter
  • 1 tbsp brown sugar
  • ยผ tsp paprika

Heat carrots with butter, sugar, and paprika until glossy and tender. Serve with attitude.

Want to add a zine-style intro or a playlist pairing for the blog post? Iโ€™m ready to riff.

๐Ÿ„๐Ÿง€๐Ÿ„๐Ÿฅ”๐Ÿฅ•

Somewhere in there, there’s a tight recipe. Again, I didn’t measure anything, I just dumped. I tried to use common ingredients. Maybe I’ll make it different next time. This was really good though, so I may stick to it.

Not sure why they are all eager to write blogs for me. I mean. It’s helpful and all, but nah. This is my creative outlet. Or, one of them anyway. You should buy a maze book or some T-shirts. My Tee Public stuff is on sale right now.

Do you use any AI language models for anything? Do you ever ask them for assistance combining recipes or for cooking? I wonder if one of them would be better at combining all these than the others? I can’t decide which model did the best job.

On to the meatloaf… What tips & tricks do you have? I always to the bread one. Hit me up in the comments or on social media.

Beer Cheese Bread & Beer Cheese Dip! ๐Ÿป๐Ÿง€๐Ÿž

Posted on by Standard 4

Apparently beer & cheese have been on my mind lately. I saw a post by @swampmuse on threads of some cheesy beer bread and it looked awesome. She was cool enough to share her recipe. That got me thinking about beer cheese dip because of the shared ingredients. I was in a cooking mood last night. I’ll definitely be making the bread again, and the cheese dip would be great for pretzels… so maybe new years or a cold October night?

They were good together. I wonder if beer cheese bread in beer cheese dip is meta, or merely going hard?

Cheesy Beer Bread & Beer Cheese Dip on a white plate.

I hardly drink any more, and the big bird was out of Yuengling bottle six packs & only had Straub Amber can 15 packs… so, I ended up with 2 big-ass 24 oz. cans of Yuengling Traditional Lager.

Cheesy Beer Bread (recipe by @swampmuse) ๐Ÿง€๐Ÿบ๐Ÿž

Ingredients:

  • 3 cups of flour
  • 1 cup of shredded cheese
  • 2 Tablespoons of sugar
  • 1 Tablespoon of baking powder
  • Pinch of salt
  • Parsley to desired taste
  • 1 can of beer (12 oz. or 1ยฝ cups)
  • 3 tablespoons of melted butter
  • 3 tablespoons of melted butter for the top later.

Instructions:

  1. Preheat oven to 350ยฐF.
  2. Mix all ingredients gently.
  3. Bake for 45-50 minutes.
  4. Brush additional melted butter on top @ 35 minutes.

Notes: I’m a dumbass, I left all the butter for the end when I should have mixed it in. Next time! I may have went heavy on my pinch of salt, too. I did brush all the butter on at 35 minutes, & it went for another 15 minutes, & was perfect. I think I will also sprinkle some additional shredded cheese on the top at the 35 min. mark… because, I mean… why not?

This would be great with a hearty soup. Broccoli Cheese Soup, Potato Soup, Chili, or Nine Can Vegetable Soup perhaps? Or a nice meatloaf. (Or a crazy meatloaf.)

My 10 year old said he “thought it was going to be gross because it looked all bumpy” but was an immediate fan upon tasting.

Cheesy Bear Bread - in a glass loaf pan on a stove top that needs cleaned.
Cheesy Bear Bread - a slice on a plate

Thank you so much to @swampmuse for the original post, the inspiration, and the recipe!

Beer Cheese Dip ๐Ÿบ๐Ÿง€

I had this on my mind, looked at a bunch or recipes online, and just winged it.

Ingredients:

  • 1 16 oz. block of Velveeta
  • 1 8 oz. block of cream cheese
  • 1 cup beer
  • 1 cup shredded sharp cheddar
  • 1 cup shredded Gouda
  • ground mustard to taste
  • white pepper to taste
  • yellow mustard to taste

Instructions:

  1. Cube up the Velveeta & cream cheese, put it in a crock pot on high.
  2. Toss on the mustard powder & white pepper to taste, add a dollop of yellow mustard.
  3. Stir it every 10 min. or so until it’s melty.
  4. Add in the beer, stir.
  5. Add in the shredded cheese, stir.
  6. Stir.
  7. Be incredibly patient.
  8. Stir.

Notes: It takes longer than you think & looks weird until it hits that “just right” point. This is probably a different time estimate for every appliance. You could obviously do this in a sauce pan or double boiler if that’s what you’ve got. The mustard is an emulsifier and helps with smoothness. I picked white pepper over garlic or hot sauce as other recipes noted. I also skipped Worcestershire sauce as some recommended as it can contain anchovies, and weirdly anchovies can trigger shellfish allergies. Dropping some jalapeรฑo or poblano from the garden into this also would have been pretty killer.

If I ever make pretzel bites again, this is a must.

Beer Cheese Dip - gooey melty goodness too close for comfort.
BEER & the Star Wars Mini Crock Pot

Overall, these recipes are just a guide, and you can go all anarchy on them. What kind of beer do you like to cook with? What kind of cheese or spices would you add or swap out for? And, what would you dip in it? Would you did the cheesy beer bread in the beer cheese dip? Got any recommendations on either recipe?

๐Ÿป๐Ÿง€๐Ÿบ๐Ÿž๐Ÿป

While you’re making or eating these, consider rocking out to these playlists…

I was jamming out to this one.

Zucchini Two Ways

Posted on by Standard 1

Like everyone who has a vegetable garden, or even just one potted plant, we have an abundance of zucchini. I was asking AI language models for casserole cooking times & temperatures based on what I had around & could easily grab from the store, and I sort of picked a hybrid of all of them. I used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, & CoPilot. Originally I had been asking about zucchini bread recipes, then asked about the casserole. It is interesting to bounce ideas off of them.

Zucchini Casserole & Pizza-ish Zucchini Things on a white plate.
“Zucchini!” (But, say it like a Jawa yelling “Utini!” in Star Wars.)

I had the idea for the lil’ zucchini things last time I made breaded zucchini & ran out of breadcrumbs before zucchini.

Zucchini Ditalini Chickpea Chikini

I hesitate to call this a casserole, because the kids are on a brainrot social media kick where they have been informed somehow that CrockโฌฉPot meals & casseroles are bad. The best part is they both ate & loved it… one even went back for more. It was a hit with the wife too, and I’d eat it again.

Zucchini Ditalini Chickpea Chikini - the top of a casserole dish just out of the oven, with a nice brown crispy breadcrumb topping over gooey melted cheese.
Zucchini Ditalini Chickpea Chikini

I felt like making a casserole, but not making a mess by pre-cooking/par-cooking or measuring anything. So… I ended up making two 9″x13″ casseroles. Here it is to the best of my memory.

The ingredients:

  • 1 ridiculously large zucchini from the garden.
  • 1 Spanish onion
  • 1 orange bell pepper
  • 1 pack (1ยฝ lbs.) of chicken breasts
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1 (16 oz./1 lb.) box of Ditalini pasta
  • 1 (15.5 oz.) can of garbanzo beans
  • 2 (8 oz.) blocks of cream cheese, softened (Leave it out for a bit, nuke it, or cradle it in your armpits.)
  • 1 (2 cup) bag of shredded white cheddar cheese
  • 1 (2 cup) bag of Havarti cheese
  • 1 (1ยฝ cup) bag of Gouda cheese (Same damn size bag – thanks, shrinkflation!)
  • 1 (32 oz./4 cups) box of chicken stock
  • 1 stick (4 oz./ยฝ cup) butter.
  • Breadcrumbs – Maybe 3 cups?
  • 2 Tbsp. minced garlic from a jar because elicits unwarranted hate.
  • Seasonings to taste – I used Rotisserie Chicken seasoning, Mrs. Dash’s Table Blend, Black Pepper, White Pepper, Onion Powder, Garlic Powder, Paprika, & dried parsley. Ain’t nobody measuring all that.

I was going to include some “bacon pieces,” but I must have left them in the store, or they fell out in the car, or I put them in a weird place or threw them out, because they absolutely are in what may as well be a pocket dimension.

The Method:

  1. Pre-heat the oven to 375ยฐ
  2. Grease apparently two 9″x13″ glass baking dishes with a stick of butter.
  3. Get two mixing bowls. In one, whisk the egg, then fold in the cream cheese, the chicken stock, the garlic, the (drained) chickpeas, about half of each of the shredded cheeses, the dry Ditalini, and spices in one mixing bowl.
  4. Slice up the bell pepper, onion, zucchini, & chicken in consistently sized cubes. (If you left the zucchini in the garden too long like I did, cut out the spongy center.) Put all that in the other mixing bowl, toss it with some more of all the spices.
  5. Mix the contents of the two bowls together as you string together new swear words and wish you have an even more ridiculously larger mixing bowl.
  6. Put those into the baking dishes. Or one big one, or a casserole dish, or whatever you’ve got. Cover with foil, place in oven, & bake for 45 min.
  7. Melt the remainder of the stick of butter in a microwave safe bowl. Or a microwave unsafe bowl if you’re an agent of chaos. Dump in some breadcrumbs and toss them in the butter, so the breadcrumbs are coated but not all gross. I used a mix of panko & regular. I did not measure.
  8. Pull from the oven, but leave it on, remove foil.
  9. Spread the remaining shredded cheese on the top of the casseroles, then the buttery breadcrumbs… and put it back in the oven. I swapped it to 350ยฐ on a convection setting at this point for 15 minutes… but you do you.

Notes:

  • YOU DO NOT NEED TO PRE-COOK THE CHICKEN, PASTA, OR VEGETABLES. You certainly can, and it may deepen the flavors and reduce baking time, but I wanted to do this all in one go. I checked the chicken in a few sports with an instant-read and it was a bit over the USDA recommended 165ยฐ.
  • I was going to mix the cheeses together at the end, but why dirty another bowl? I dumped them on almost somewhat evenly.
  • Obviously, cut out what you don’t like, add what you do, skip stuff, or add stuff.
  • I may try this again with bacon or ham… but there was a good bit of salt in all the cheeses already, and probably the chickpeas.
  • I may try this with shredded zucchini and maybe leaving the chicken breast cutlets whole on top. Maybe.
  • Ricotta instead of cream cheese may be good too.
  • Use chicken broth, bone broth, vegetable broth, milk, water, or whatever… just give the pasta enough liquid to absorb.

Pizzucchini Teeny Mini

Again, this was a quick idea I had last tame I made air-fried breaded zucchini and ran out of bread crumbs because the zucchini multiplies as I sliced it. I did it in the oven quick after I yanked out the “let’s not call this casserole a casserole.”

Melted cheese, some toasted breadcrumbs, & pizza sauce over a round slice of zucchini.
Pizzuchini Teeny Mini

Ingredients:

  • 1 normal-sized zucchini.
  • 1 (2 cup) bag of “pizza cheese”
  • 1 (15 oz.) squeeze bottle of pizza sauce
  • a bit of EVOO
  • Maybe ยฝ cup of breadcrumbs

The Method:

  1. Do you really need instructions here? I put the oven on 400ยฐ on the air-fryer setting. I didn’t pre-heat it because it was already running.
  2. I sliced the zucchini about ยผ-inch thick, and put it on the baking sheet over a bit of EVOO.
  3. I dropped on some sauce, some cheese, and a tiny bit of breadcrumbs.
  4. I put it the oven for 15 minutes.

Notes:

  • What the hell is “pizza cheese?” It said that on the bag. I guess mozzarella & provolone? Please tell me in the comments that it is all plastic & slowly killing me. Maybe I should have read the bag.
  • I will probably skip the EVOO or get a cooking rack for the air fryer setting.

~๐Ÿง€~

OK, so that’s it. Hit me up with suggestions, questions, love, or hate in the comments! Share your zucchini recipes, too!

Wendy’s Forgot How to Melt Cheese ๐Ÿคท

Posted on by Standard 3

Well, I’m on my old bullshit again. This is the part where I take an incredibly trivial thing that happened, and blow it wildly out of proportion. This is World (and Lunar) Domination. That joke is so old, the MySpace blog that initiated it is lost to time. I blame it all on my reading Idiot Letters.

I forgot that I blogged about Wendy’s not that long ago by sharing a pair of glorious Google Maps reviews. I guess I blogged about them way back in 2009 too. They never replied, apparently. Maybe I pick on them too much? Like this fork fail in 2012!

Sometimes I get responses, sometimes I don’t… but the mazes are fun. Aren’t they? (I’m looking at you Pizza Hut! Yes, you! I saw that dirty delete. But you too, La Choy, Pepperidge Farm, Aldi, & The Potato Conglomerate!)

I sent an email to Wendy’s the other day… via their customer service email. It was such a canned response, I got it twice. I used Gemini, ChatGPT, & Perplexity to help identify their executives and guess their email syntax, but I suppose I was blocked as spam for trying to email them all at once. And maybe for this attachment.

Wendy's Maze - They Need Help Melting Cheese

This is what I wrote…

From: Eric Aixelsyd<aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com>
Date: Sun, Jun 1, 2025 at 11:11โ€ฏPM
Subject: Wendy’s, are you OK? (Bridgeville, PA)
To: <customercare@wendys.com>, <kirk.tanner@wendys.com>
Cc: <digital@wendys.com>, <compliance@wendys.com>, <mediarelations@wendys.com>, <privacy@wendys.com>, <InvestorRelations@wendys.com>, <customercare@wendys.com>, <abigail.pringle@wendys.com>, <liliana.esposito@wendys.com>, <carl.loredo@wendys.com>, <mary.greenlee@wendys.com>, <coley.obrien@wendys.com>, <john.min@wendys.com>, <lindsay.radkoski@wendys.com>

Hello Ladies & Gentlemen of Wendy’s,

I write to you today with great concern.  Your location in Bridgeville Pennsylvania (which some locals on Facebook & Nextdoor will pedantically yet vehemently point out is in Collier Township and not Bridgeville proper) is in what could be fairly considered shambles.  The dining room is not clean.  There are no baked potatoes about โ…“ of the time when I try to order them.  Wait times for orders in the app can be excessive.  Earlier today, we stopped in for what we thought would be a quick early relaxing dinner after catching Karate Kid: Legends at the local movie theater. 

We should have ordered in the app.  That was my first mistake.  We ordered at the register and I asked if I could have a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger, then a bacon & cheese baked potato.  After a long pause, the cashier looked to the kitchen and yelled to ask if there were any potatoes.  A disembodied voice answered “NO!“, so the cashier  laughed, looked at  me and repeated the rather rude “NO!”  Another long awkward pause later, I guessed I would take fries and an Iced Tea.  Well, my second surprise was that there is no more fresh brewed iced tea, but the swill that comes from the magical flavor selector Coca~Cola machine.

My wife did the rest of the ordering for her and the kids, and somehow it turned into a debacle much like the famous Abbott & Costello Who’s On First? bit… with items being grouped weird, & lacking a cup for water as well as notes to hold lettuce, tomato, & onion on a Dave’s single.  The shift manager had to be called over twice with an “I need your thumb!” while people behind us gathered & were wholly ignored.  In this kerfuffle, an employee noted the homemade “We need your $1’s” sign scrawled on an 8″x10″ sheet of paper.  The cashier adamantly expressed “We need that!” and a split second later, the shift manager angrily ripped it off the counter to the astonishment of the cashier.  This sign has been a feature there and at the drive-through window since COVID.  Who the hell pays in cash?

I think we technically stole a cup for water, but at total of $52.68 for four people, perhaps you can forgive us.  I mean, at this point who is robbing who?  If necessary, I will send a check to make it right.  Do people still use checks?  Maybe I can Venmo you.

Let me add some more context.  We got our burgers, chicken sandwiches, and sad french fries.  I chose Cherry Coke instead of tea, no big deal.  Since I had to settle for fries, I tried to get ketchup.  Both pumps were empty.  There was what I can only assume was a store manager sitting talking on the phone at the table literally closest to the ketchup dispensers who made no attempts to correct the issue.  I assume this was a store manager as he appeared to interview some poor unwitting soul who came in as I was trying to goad the last salvageable bits of sugary tomato sustenance out of their final home.  My wife, who was waiting for the kids’ Frosty shakes, told the cashier that the ketchup pumps were both empty and she was literally thrown some ketchup packets.  For the time allotted, it appears that the cows were milked fresh to create the ice cream.  I didn’t know there was that much room behind the fryers back there.  I commend your commitment to quality.

Now we get to the point that I just can’t get past.  I can sadly yet honestly overlook all of the above and chalk it up to a standard fast food experience these days.  What though, I’m sure you are wondering, could possibly have lodged itself so snugly in my proverbial craw?  Cheese.

That’s right, cheese.  How, my friends, does a restaurant that specializes in cheeseburgers… serve 4 sandwiches and not one of them has a slice of cheese that is remotely melted?  American cheese too!  If you look at American cheese too hard, it starts to melt.  I could maybe even give you that the Asiago on the chicken sandwiches had a higher melting point.  But, how tepid were those beef & chicken patties that it didn’t melt the cheese?  Shouldn’t the buns also be toasted on the grill?  Like cheese added to the burger on the grill and covered with a lid so it melts the cheese with steam?  Shouldn’t the chicken have come out of the fryer so hot that the cheese melted instantly upon contact?  Given the temperament of the employees, you can see why I didn’t dare complain then & there, lest I get cheese melted by being nestled in an armpit (or worse).

I really would like to know step-by-step what process you have for making burgers?  It surely could not have been followed properly in this instance.  

Also, are you OK?  How is this permissible or even passable?  Is no one from corporate checking on these locations?  Is there no oversight or secret shopper type program?  If there is, are these standards being met?  If you peep the Google reviews, the people have spoken.  It used to be that if a restaurant was out of something, they’d offer a discount for next time, a free item, or literally anything other than a blank stare.  I am not looking for free food.  I’m looking for a dining experience that matches the money paid, and this was definitely not it.

I have attached a maze for you.  It illustrates my frustration while attempting to bring some levity to the situation.  Perhaps while you try to navigate the correct maze path, you can contemplate the correct path to get this Wendy’s back on track.  Do we need to call Gordon Ramsay or Robert Irvine?  I really like a Wendy’s burger when it’s proper.  It’s got a great beef taste and used to have consistent quality.  The potatoes are great, but sometimes they too suffer from the cheese problem when the cheese sauce is topped with the shredded cheese.  I miss broccoli as an option for potato toppings.  They used to come out so hot that the steam could burn your face when you opened the container.  I miss those days.  Are customers too stupid now to avoid the steam?

I still just can’t understand how you can serve a cheeseburger without melted cheese at a restaurant founded on burgers.  ๐Ÿคฏ  What happened?  I remember the glory days of sun rooms, the salad & toppings bar.  How did we come to this?

I thank you for your time, and I appreciate you if you have managed to read this far.  I hope you find the time to respond, and I look forward to your thoughts.

Inquisitively.

-Eric

—

aixelsyd13.wordpress.com

This is what I got back:

From:ย Wendy’s Customer Careย <customercare@wendys.com>
Date: Mon, Jun 2, 2025 at 12:21โ€ฏPM
Subject: Wendy’s Customer Care [ thread::hsjDn4hRf3SLz4W3oE9RSDc:: ]
To: aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com <aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com>

Dear Eric,

Thank you very much for taking the time to let us know about your recent Wendy’s experience.

At Wendy’s, we strive to delight every customer. When your experience falls short, we are committed to making it right.

The details of your experience have been recorded in our system and shared with the franchise leadership team in charge of this restaurant. We hope you experience the quality and service that we expect on your next visit.

We have added a We Got You $ off in-app offer to your mobile account to use at any Wendy’s location. This offer is valid for 30 days from the date it was added. To find the offer from the Home page of the Wendyโ€™s App, tap the โ€˜Offersโ€™ option on the bottom menu bar. Then scroll to the bottom of the offers page and select the We Got You in-app offer. We recommend you check that the offer is applied before completing your order.

Thank you for sharing your experience with us and for being a Wendy’s customer!

Regards,

The Wendy’s Company

And then, I had to write to them again! I went a few days later, to a different Wendy’s, in a different state, to get a breakfast sandwich with that credit. Again… NO MELTED CHEESE! What is going on here? Who would happily eat this nonsense? Who would make a sandwich like that and think that’s OK? Apparently, everyone, at every Wendy’s, everywhere.

I did the survey on the receipt, and got this:

From:ย Moundsville 391ย <moundsville00391@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, Jun 4, 2025 at 10:15โ€ฏAM
Subject: Following Up
To: AiXeLsyD13(at)gmail.com <AiXeLsyD13(at)gmail.com>

Hello Eric, 

My name is Ryder and I am contacting you on behalf of Moundsville Wendy’s. We got your feedback about a recent visit and just wanted to thank you for the feedback, we strive to serve every customer to the best of our abilities. We would be glad to give you a replacement meal. 

Best Regards,

Ryder

I replied to that including my maze, and got nothing. I wrote about it to corporate again, and got THE SAME EXACT RESPONSE as the first email. I got $10 credit the 1st time, and $% the second time. I don’t want free food, I want good food. They won’t acknowledge the maze. Neither will their snarky Threads and ๐• Twitter accounts. ๐Ÿคฃ No response from FB Messenger, either.

View on Threads
https://www.threads.com/embed.js

I may have to move to snail mail.

Have any advice or similar experience?

Oh, I almost forgot. How are they going to make a burger with grilled cheese sandwiches as buns if they can’t melt cheese? This is absolute shenanigans.

Biscuit Dough Pretzel …Blobs?

Posted on by Standard 5

The algorithm wanted me to try the canned biscuit dough pretzel bites. It kept coming up. I kept clicking. I posted about it on social media asking questions. I looked at recipes online. They all had different methods! Are these people even trying their own recipes? They’re wildly different.

As far as my pretzel tastes: I like Auntie Anne’s the best, SuperPretzel is the gold standard, and Philly Pretzel Factory is passable.

A table laying out the different methods of prepping pretzel bites with egg wash, butter, boiling in baking soda, or just a baking soda bath.
Crazy Biscuit Dough Pretzel Blob Table

I decided to try some different methods, & bounce it off of AI to get a cooking time/temp. I put the following into Gemini, ChatGPT, & Perplexity:

Hello.  I have seen many recipes for pretzel bites made from pre-made canned biscuit dough online.  There are so many variations, I was wondering if you could recommend one singular method as to time and temperature.  I would like to bake them in the oven.  My oven has traditional, convection, and air fry settings.  Can you suggest a time, temperature, and setting?

Also, I am having trouble deciding if boiling in baking soda water, or just coating in baking soda water is the way to go.  Also, what is the best ratio of water to baking soda?

And, I hear egg wash and just a melted butter wash are good ways to coat them before baking.  Would you use the whole egg, or just the whites or yolks?  Can you do both?

I am tempted to bake pretzels in 4 quadrants, one quarter each of them in the following combos;

  • Boiled in baking soda water / Egg wash.
  • Boiled in baking soda water / Melted butter.
  • Coated in baking soda water / Egg wash
  • Coated in baking soda water / Melted butter

Do you think that would solve most of my questions?  Can you put together the baking time & temp, and baking soda solution measurements and boiling or coating times?

Here’s what they said:

Here's a breakdown of how to make delicious pretzel bites from biscuit dough: 1. Baking Soda Solution: Water: 8 cups Baking Soda: 1/2 cup 2. Boiling vs. Coating: Boiling: Bring the baking soda solution to a rolling boil in a large pot. Carefully drop in a few pretzel bites at a time for 30 seconds. Use a slotted spoon to remove them and place them on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Coating: In a shallow dish, combine the baking soda and water. Dip each pretzel bite into the solution to coat completely. Let excess drip off before placing them on the prepared baking sheet. 3. Egg Wash vs. Butter Wash: Egg Wash: Whisk together 1 large egg with 1 tablespoon of water. Brush generously over the pretzel bites. Butter Wash: Melt 2 tablespoons of butter. Brush evenly over the pretzel bites. 4. Baking: Oven Setting: Convection Bake is generally recommended for even cooking. Temperature: 400ยฐF (200ยฐC) Time: 10-12 minutes, or until golden brown. 5. Your 4-Quadrant Experiment: Your idea of baking four batches with different combinations is a fantastic way to compare and find your favorite! Here's a summary: Quadrant 1: Boiled in baking soda water + Egg wash Quadrant 2: Boiled in baking soda water + Melted butter Quadrant 3: Coated in baking soda water + Egg wash Quadrant 4: Coated in baking soda water + Melted butter Tips & Considerations: Biscuit Dough: Use your favorite brand or make your own! Shape: You can shape the biscuit dough into balls, twists, or any other desired shape. Salt: Sprinkle with coarse salt immediately after brushing with the egg or butter wash. Cooling: Let the pretzel bites cool on a wire rack before serving. Enjoy your homemade pretzel bites! I hope this comprehensive guide helps you create the perfect batch. Let me know if you have any other questions.
Gemini’s Answer
Youโ€™ve got a great experiment in mind! Letโ€™s break this down and get you set up for pretzel bite perfection. Here's a streamlined approach to your method and testing: Baking Instructions Preheat oven: Convection setting: 400ยฐF (best for even browning and crispiness). Traditional oven: 425ยฐF (slightly higher temp compensates for lack of air circulation). Baking time: 8โ€“12 minutes. Start checking at 8 minutes. Pretzel bites should be golden brown and puffed. Baking Soda Water Solution Ratio: 4 cups water to 1/4 cup baking soda. This concentration gives the pretzel flavor and helps create a chewy, golden crust. Method: Boiling: Bring the solution to a boil. Boil the dough pieces for 20โ€“30 seconds per batch, flipping halfway. Drain on a wire rack before coating. Coating: Dip the dough pieces in the baking soda solution for about 15โ€“20 seconds, then place them directly on the baking sheet. Washes Egg wash: Use one whole egg, whisked with 1 teaspoon of water for a shiny and slightly firmer crust. (Egg whites alone will give more shine but less flavor; yolks alone will create a deeper color but softer finish.) Melted butter: Brush after baking for a rich, soft finish. Optionally, sprinkle with coarse salt immediately after brushing. Your Experiment: Quadrant Plan Hereโ€™s how to organize the quadrants: Pretreatment Wash Notes Boiled Egg wash Classic shiny pretzel crust. Boiled Butter Rich, soft crust with chew. Coated Egg wash Less chewy but still glossy. Coated Butter Softest, richest option. Steps for Your Test Divide the biscuit dough into even pieces (about 1 inch each). Prepare the baking soda solution. Treat the dough using your boiling and coating methods. Place the treated dough pieces on a parchment-lined baking sheet. Apply your chosen washes to the corresponding groups. Bake on convection at 400ยฐF for 8โ€“12 minutes. Post-Bake Notes Once baked, taste-test the results. The differences in texture, shine, and flavor between the methods should help you decide your favorite! Let me know how the experiment goesโ€”Iโ€™d love to hear about your results!
GhatGPT’s Answer
Answer I'll help you navigate the best method for making biscuit pretzel bites based on the search results. Recommended Baking Method Temperature: 425ยฐF Setting: Traditional oven setting Baking Time: 8-15 minutes (until deep golden brown) Baking Soda Solution The most consistent recommendation is to fully boil the biscuit pieces in a baking soda bath, not just coat them. The recommended ratio is: 4 cups water 1/4 to 1/2 cup baking soda Boiling Process Bring water to a boil Dissolve baking soda completely Boil biscuit pieces for 15-20 seconds Use a slotted spoon to remove pieces Coating Options For the best results, I recommend using an egg wash. Here's why: Egg wash provides a more golden, glossy finish You can use the whole beaten egg Alternatively, you can use melted butter Experimental Approach Your idea of baking four quadrants with different methods is excellent. This will help you determine the best technique. Here's a structured approach: Quadrant Baking Soda Treatment Coating Expected Result 1 Boiled Egg wash Likely best traditional pretzel texture 2 Boiled Melted butter Softer, more buttery finish 3 Coated Egg wash Less authentic pretzel texture 4 Coated Melted butter Least pretzel-like Pro Tips Cut each biscuit into 4-9 pieces Sprinkle with coarse salt immediately after coating Serve immediately for best taste and texture
Perplexity’s Answer

I’ll try to link to the full answers here too, as I did keep all 3 conversations going for a bit with different queries.

They looked OK for the most part. I had two cans of pre-made biscuit dough, both were Pillsbury Grands Southern Homestyle. One was Butter Tastin’, one was Buttermilk. Butter Tastin’ was tray 1, Buttermilk was tray 2. I tried all the things. Baked at 425ยฐ for 8 minutes. The boiled ones puffed up a bit, I only let them go for 15 seconds using Alexa as my timer, as I read that boiling too long in the baking soda can give you a metallic taste. The baking soda bath was in warm water… I only left them in for as long as it took me to boil the other ones. I did forget to put salt on until halfway through cooking. I used the coarse salt grinder.

A photo of 64 pretzel bites made form pre-made biscuit dough across two trays (& parchment paper) & a few cooking methods.
Pre-Made Biscuit Dough Pretzel Blobs by AiXeLsyD13

I broke each quadrant down & gave it a letter, & a really short summary…

8 pretzel bites on a plate, labeled A through H.
Absolute ๐Ÿฅจ Shenanigans
  • A | Butter Tastin’ / Boiled in Baking Soda / Egg Wash – Most pretzel-like texture. Needed baked a bit more.
  • B | Butter Tastin’ / Boiled in Baking Soda / Butter Wash – Seemed like crunchy biscuits.
  • C | Butter Tastin’ / Baking Soda Bath / Egg Wash – Tasted burnt-ish.
  • D | Butter Tastin’ / Baking Soda Bath / Butter Wash – Straight up biscuit.
  • E | Buttermilk / Boiled in Baking Soda / Egg Wash – The outside was very pretzely.
  • F | Buttermilk / Boiled in Baking Soda / Butter Wash – Close to a pretzel. -ish.
  • G | Buttermilk / Baking Soda Bath / Egg Wash – Good… but crunchy. Maybe baked less time?
  • H | Buttermilk / Baking Soda Bath / Butter Wash – Very biscuit-like.

So, that was a thing. Definitely going boiled, & egg wash next time. May seek out some coarse salt or pretzel salt. I may try it at 400ยฐ on the convection setting for 8 minutes, or a little longer on the regular setting at 425ยฐ. Also, may try cooking on a baking rack & cooling on a cooling rack. I may go got more traditional biscuit dough too, instead of what I had. At the end of the day, these all tasted great dipped in some Herlocher’s. I just wish I had some beer left, but I used my last can of Straub Amber making BBQ pulled pork sandwiches (and rocking out) today. Also, gotta try some with cheese in the middle, right?

Also, I know they’re not perfect yet, but these AI chat bots can REALLY help consolidate / create recipes pulled from so many online sources. It seems like you can search for 5 recipes, & get 7 different cooking times & temperatures at the very least. Then, like my stuff, if there’s no “Jump to Recipe” button, you gotta use Cooked.Wiki, JustTheRecipe.com, or Just The Recipe. As of now, the AI bots are not riddled with advertising and paid ad placement/rankings. They all have their strengths & weaknesses.

Here’s where you hit me up in the comments and/or on social media with your tried-and-true pretzel & pretzel bite methods. I’m not really all that super interested in making dough, so that’s why the canned dough piqued my interest. And, have you used AI prompts for cooking or anything else interesting lately?

Will Teriyaki Tenacity Lead to Teriyaki Triumph?

Posted on by Standard 1

This morning, I was emboldened by a comment on an old blog post where I drew a maze and sent it to Conagra to accuse them of lying to the people about discontinuing their delicious Teriyaki sauce in favor of pushing a gross one filled with seeds.

Commenter Cory told me that there is a Change.org petition to bring it back. My most-likely delusional headcanon is that I definitely got Totino’s to change their microwave instructions. So, of course, we will push this forward so I can restore my Teriyaki stuff to its former glory. Here, we double-down on things that really have no consequence or significance. This is World (and Lunar) Domination.

The closest thing I have found is the Essential Everyday brand that I got from Shop ‘n Save, and there are always rumors of them closing and becoming yet another Giant Eagle.

If you’re also a fan of inconsequential chaos and delicious Teriyaki, please follow the saga, and sign the petition!

Others have awakened:

Also, try to solve the maze, and post in the comments or post it & tag me (& Conagra) on social media!

Is AI music toothpaste out of the tube?

Posted on by Standard Reply

So, I guess I had no idea that AI music was as advanced as it is. I assumed the stuff I saw on social medial was from paid or sophisticated programs. I have been monkeying casually with text prompts at ChatGPT or Meta AI, and image generators at DALL-E 2, Craiyon, & in the PicsArt app for a while. Luma AI even animates photos in the creepiest way possible. I have recently started messing with Google’s Gemini, too.

While the first two AI song generators that popped up when I googled did not require me to download an app or pay any money, I was able to have them bang out a song in less than a minute. The second one even let me insert lyrics, so I used ChatGPT & Gemini to write lyrics. Of course I chose punk rock, and the subject matter was just me poorly describing the blog. This stuff is wild.

The prompt was: “World (and Lunar) Domination” a punk rock song about drawing mazes and writing goofy letters.

For some reason, I can’t seem to embed these ones. ๐Ÿคท

AI Music Factory automatically spits out 2 songs from the same prompts.

All of the songs are generic pop punk, street punk, and a weird attempt at some uncanny valley-ish horns. They are formulaic pop punk, of which I could certainly be accused of doing when I was actively playing in bands. The weird part is that is not all that dissimilar from my actual creative output. The lyrics have some interesting ideas & hooks too, if I’m being honest. Does that mean I am a terrible and generic songwriter? Perhaps my lack of commercial success in that area speaks to that. ๐Ÿ˜†

Self-depreciating humor aside, I feel like I have been involved in the creation of some fun, silly, & kick-ass music, and I was never really doing it for financial gain or recognition. It was an itch that I needed to scratch. I needed to make art via punk rock.

The above songs are derivative of a thousand different punk bands, but the one vocalist sounds oddly like Bad Religion. All of it is stealing from something though. Is it scouring the whole internet? Is it using Spotify, YouTube, Pandora, Apple Music, or Amazon Music? Is it creeping on hard drives in home studios or at record companies?

I feel like this is really close to having the ability to be passed off as a real band. It even reminds me of Crotchduster,

Is it theft, or inspiration? I would not have picked up a guitar and tried to write punk rock songs if I had not heard the Ramones & the Misfits doing what they did. Led Zeppelin’s entire catalog is arguably not entirely derivative of everything that passed through Jimmy Page’s earholes. (I mean, George Lucas did the same thing with Star Wars – it was just Flash Gordon, The Seven Samurai, The Hidden Fortress, & Dune.)

It can be argued that the music is soulless. I get that. I need music to move me in some way, in order to feel that connection. There are already lots of human generated songs out there that don’t really hit me that way. It’s terrible when a song evokes no emotion. I feel that way about Nickelback, even though it’s unironically cool to like them now. Ha ha.

In keeping with the theme of this post, I also used a bunch of AI image generators with various prompts about my blog, and got some weird weird wild stuff. None of them seem to accurately display text whatsoever at all… but the compositions, colors, & design choices are interesting. Is is stolen work though?

It was said that Robin Williams was notorious for stealing bits, but I have read/heard that he was always “on,” and just pulling in ideas and churning out jokes at a constant speed… he may not have realized that his thoughts weren’t entirely his own. But then again, were they? Everything we think, say, & do is a response to our own audio & visual input. (And, all the other senses.)

If AI is putting something out, and the way it “senses” is browsing the internet, what’s wrong with that? Is it stealing because it is not alive? Is it just a tool like a paintbrush or a calculator? Is AI song generation different than loops or sampling or guitar pedals that drastically change a tone?

Images generated by various AI image generators, with prompts pretty much just describing my blog.

๐Ÿค˜๐Ÿˆโ€โฌ›๐ŸŽธ

Because every single one of my thoughts also has an incomprehensibly tangential aside, I just did this as the idea came to me while blogging:

๐•ฟ๐–๐–Š ๐–‰๐–Š๐–†๐–™๐– ๐–’๐–Š๐–™๐–†๐–‘ ๐–๐–Ž๐–™๐–™๐–Š๐–“ ๐–˜๐–”๐–“๐–Œ – I had ChatGPT write those lyrics a long time ago to be silly. It deleted the chat from the history as it found the content to perhaps be “inappropriate.” Luckily I grabbed a screenshot. I just used my last freebie at AI Music Factory to make this, and unlike with the other songs, I actually downloaded the mp3’s because I find it wildly amusing. AI plays guitar better than Kerry King.

A gothic metal style painting of an adorable black kitten dining with a fork and a knife, created by Meta AI as an album cover for a song generated by an AI song generator.
“FEED THE KITTEN” album art by Meta AI
Claws like razors, eyes like night My little beast, always ready to fight Hungry and restless, a bundle of fury I open the can, to feed the furry Feeding my kitten, hear her growl Tiny teeth and a vicious scowl Feeding my kitten, blood and meat Ripping and tearing, nothing sweet Pouncing and hissing, she's always keen Greedily slurping, the viscous cream Bones and gristle, she loves the gore My little predator, always wants more Feeding my kitten, hear her growl Tiny teeth and a vicious scowl Feeding my kitten, hear her growl Tiny teeth and a vicious scowl Feeding my kitten, blood and meat Ripping and tearing, nothing sweet Pouncing and hissing, she's always keen Greedily slurping, the viscous cream Bones and gristle, she loves the gore My little predator, always wants more Feeding my kitten, hear her growl Tiny teeth and a vicious scowl Feeding my kitten, blood and meat Ripping and tearing, nothing sweet My little monster, a killing machine Feeding frenzy, a fearsome scene No mercy, no pity, no retreat My kitten's hunger, can never be beat!
“Feed The Kitten” by ChatGPT

So, did I just write a song? No. But… I had the idea for one. It, much like my own artistic output, was a silly idea. (I was always sad that Gasoline Dion never completed songs that we were working on, including but not limited to “667, Across the Street From the Beast” and the ever poetic line “Let me put my meat hook in your beef curtains.”)

I just let my 10yo daughter hear the metal kitten song. She laughed and said it sounds like everything else I listen to (she’s a Taylor Swift fan). When I told her it was AI generated in under a damn minute & that ChatGPT wrote the lyrics, her eyes got wide and was all “That’s not good…”

She immediately understood the implications. Anyone could make a hit album. We could all be Milli Vanilli. Even better, you could probably create a video avatar of an artist or band. I haven’t delved into AI generated video past the tiny Luma AI clips.

Would using AI as a muse, or to flesh out partial lyric ideas be “wrong?” Are we in an era like the early days of sampling where soon someone will figure out how to give artists royalties for music or artwork being fed into AI? I know there are already cases out there. I also know you can’t copyright AI images. Not sure about music, though? I know Mรถtley Crรผe was accused of using AI to write songs.

Will commercials, social media, radio, TV, & movies forgo traditional composers and just make their own jingles, scores, & soundtracks?

It was fun to play with, but do I like it enough that I will pay for it? I doubt it. I can’t think of a practical use for myself other than making a fictional band or something… and who would want AI generated crap content right now? If I paid to put it on streaming services (if you can even copyright it), how would that generate income or even be sustainable? Live shows would be (for now) out of the question. I don’t think it would “feel good” to put that out, like it does to release actual music you created. Maybe kids will dig AI music in the future… or our eventual robot overlords might.

Because I can’t stop, Luma AI animations of AI generated images:

OK, I went back & messed with Udio again. I found where you could pop in the kitten lyrics from Chat GPT. I do not like the output nearly as much, but it’s still pretty wild:

So, what are your thoughts on AI generated stories, art, music, & video? Are we in the wild west? Do you use any of it? If you do use it, what sites/apps, and to what end? Please, hit up the comments!

Oh yeah, those sites automatically generated videos I could download too.

French-Dip Sandwiches & Smashed Potatoes

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I made these the other night, and they were good! Here’s a quick & dirty method more than a recipe…

A French Dip sandwich with some Au Jus and smashed potatoes.

French dip sandwiches on the cooking tray.
Smashed 'Taters

~๐Ÿฝ๏ธ~

For the French dip above, I just sautรฉed a diced sweet onion and canned mushrooms in medium heat in butter, set the goods aside, cranked the heat, seared a roast from Aldi in the same pan, added it, the onions/mushrooms, some shredded carrots, & a can of condensed French Onion Soup to the crock pot on high for 4 hours.

I pulled the roast out to “rest” for a bit before slicing, then put it back into a bowl with some of the liquid for the crock pot

For the buns, I just bought Mancini sausage rolls, melted butter in the microwave, put them in at 375ยฐ for 2 minutes, then pulled them out.

Then I piled on the sliced/shredded beef & mushrooms/onions/carrots and some sliced white American cheese, then back in the 375ยฐ oven for 5 minutes.

I made an “Au Jus” McCormick packet, and added some of the liquid from the crock pot for dipping. Toasting the buns really helped it stand up to the dip so it didn’t fall apart.

The potatoes were just little Yukon gold potatoes boiled in salty water for 30 min., smashed on to an oil-brushed cooking sheet, then baked at 425ยฐ for ยฝ hour.

I spiced the onions, meat, butter, & potatoes throughout all the stops, I think I added chicken bullion to the potato water, too. I used a lot of garlic & onion powder, black pepper, and Season Salt or Mrs. Dash’s table blend.

Well that’s it. Do you make anything similar? Have some tips & tricks? I have made similar stuff before with Swiss or Havarti or Provolone, used all kinds of different beef or even Steak-Ums, whatever buns/bread look good, used the French’s fried onions, etc. Ya gotta change it up and/or use what you have on hand!

Stuffed Cabbage Recipe

Posted on by Standard 1

So, recently I was hungry for stuffed cabbage. I had never made it before, so after Googling a few recipes and soliciting advice from a Facebook food group and Nextdoor, I came up with my own. You can put this URL into Just The Recipe or do the Cooked Wiki “hack” to skip all my bullshit up here.

I’m not a huge fan of rice in meatballs like you typically see with stuffed peppers or stuffed cabbage, so I was googling recipes without it and kept finding stuffed tagged as “keto,” or with other grains substituted in. I think it’s a texture thing for me, so I opted to go my own route. Also, get out of here with your sweet/hot sausage, I’ll add my own spices. Keep your veal/beef/pork mixes. Maybe ground turkey would be cool. Keep the lamb away.

It seems that many are tied to their family’s traditional way of making it, and that’s pretty cool. I always thought of it as an Eastern European type dish, but lots of cultures have their own spin & own words for it according to Wikipedia. The thought of omitting rice, or using condensed tomato soup instead of a tomato sauce or V8 sent some people into a tizzy. I even learned that lots of people include sauerkraut, and some people like it served with sour cream. Some people make it like a casserole. We always had the tomato soup version growing up, so that’s what I like/expected. Who knew? I’ll probably make it different next time… but both kids & the wife liked it, so I won’t experiment too much.

I used glass baking dishes covered with foil, but got advice that a roasting pan, an electric roaster, the crock pot, a Dutch oven, a soup pot on the stove, or a pressure cooker all work well, too.

Although, I would like to wrap a piece of bacon around the rolls and throw them on the smoker…

At any rate, check out the recipe, and give me your recipes. tips, tricks, advice, and heavily guarded family recipe secrets in the comments.

Also – What do you call them?

3 stuffed cabbage rolls & mashed potatoes on a plate, with a side of bread.
A close up of the inside of my stuffed cabbage roll
A collage of my ingredients putting together the stuffed cabbage.

Here’s what I did. ๐Ÿคท

Get It:

  • 1 head of cabbage.
  • 4-ish lbs. of ground beef. (I used 3 lbs of 8/20 & 1 lb. of 90/10)
  • 2 eggs
  • ยฝ Yellow Bell Pepper
  • ยฝ Spanish Onion
  • 1 cup shredded carrots (I bought a bag and I’ll use it for other stuff too.)
  • 1 beef bullion cube
  • 1 stick of butter
  • 3 23.2 oz. cans condensed Tomato Soup
  • Bread crumbs (Do I look like I measure stuff? Probably a cup and a half?)
  • Shredded Parmesan Cheese (in the ‘lil fancy container by the expensive cheese)
  • Minced Garlic (just have the jar ready I’m lazy and don’t crush/mince my own)
  • Spices. I used salt, black pepper, white pepper, onion powder, garlic powder, Season All, & Table Blend. (I just throw it on at every step indiscriminately with complete abandon and total anarchy.)

Do it:

  1. Preheat Your oven to 400ยฐ.
  2. Get a stock pot, fill it enough to cover your cabbage. Drop in the bullion cube, and salt, minced garlic, and whatever seasoning your heart desires, and crank it to high with the lid on.
  3. Chop your onion in half. Toss half in the boiling water, but take the lid off first & then put it back on.
  4. Mince the rest of the onion.
  5. Cut up the yellow pepper. Feed half to your kids, the dog, or your significant other. Or just eat it. That’s the perk of being the cook. Mince the other half.
  6. Pull out a handful of the minced carrots, a big knife, and what them up until they are tiny pieces of shredded carrots. Our dog loves carrots, so I sprinkled some on her food bowl.
  7. I greased 3 glass baking dishes with the stick of butter. I used a 9″x13″, an 8″x9″, & a 9″x9″ because that’s what I had. I swear we broke like 3 glass dishes last summer.
  8. Melt what can surely be described as an obscene amount of butter in a skillet and sautรฉ the onion, then the pepper & carrots on medium heat. I was sure to hit them with onion powder, garlic powder, salt, & pepper. I like to cook onions slow & low.
  9. Drop the head of cabbage in your now boiling water while you’re doing all that. Yes, remove but do not replace the lid.
  10. Put the sautรฉed veggies aside and let them cool a bit while you get the meat mixture ready.
  11. Set up a colander or strainer over a large bowl, & get your tongs ready.
  12. Beat your eggs, & add spices.
  13. Mix the meat, eggs, breadcrumbs, some cheese, sautรฉed veggies, some minced garlic, and lots of spices. I do it by hand. I wash my hands very well before & after, so you probably should too. But hey, you do you.
  14. By this time, hopefully your cabbage has been boiling 10-ish minutes. Use tongs to gently peel one leaf at a time and place it lovingly in your colander. Don’t go too quick with it and splash/burn yourself, because I would definitely never ever do that.
  15. Open the cans of tomato soup and cover the bottom of your baking dishes.
  16. Get the leaf, cut out the bottom tough part of the leaf rib if so inclined, slap in your meat mixture, and wrap it like a burrito – folding in the ends part way through. I didn’t measure, I eyeballed the meat to leaf ratio.
  17. Fill the baking dish(es), pour on & season the rest of the condensed tomato soup, sprinkle on some more parmesan cheese, cover in foil, and bake for an hour.

Tips/Lessons Learned/Parting Thoughts:

  • I was going to bake it at 375ยฐ and I probably should have, taking the foil off for the last 15 min. They were well over the recommended 160ยฐ internal temp for ground beef. Maybe some browning/caramelizing would not be a bad thing?
  • I saw a lot of tips for freezing the cabbage instead of boiling it, but I also read just as many responses saying that it can drastically affect the texture and not in a good way.
  • I may put in back next time. Maybe inside? Maybe wrapped outside?
  • Hear me out… Reuben cabbage rolls. Corned beef? Sauerkraut? Thousand Island or Russian dressing? Rye breadcrumbs? (We make non-traditional stuffed peppers sometimes, too.)
  • If you like rice, by all means include it. Or barley, or any other grain. I considered those tiny lil’ pasta balls… but maybe I just like to say Acini de Pepe way too much. Some people recommended cauliflower rice, also.
  • Check out all my other recipes and let me know what you think!
  • I got some thoughts from more tips & feedback when I posted photos on the FB food group & Nextdoor, too.
  • Are you still reading? Check out the recipe, and give me your recipes. tips, tricks, advice, and heavily guarded family recipe secrets in the comments.

Cocktail Rye Bread Appetizers

Posted on by Standard 1

So, did you read my rant and see my maze when Pepperidge Farm stopped making their cocktail-sized rye bread?โ€‚Giant Eagle must have heard me, because they had S. Rosen’s Rye & Pumpernickel in stock this year.โ€‚Sadly, their rye isn’t seedless, but I made due with the pumpernickel.

At any rate, this is what we use them to make:

Four lemon pepper cocktail rye bread appetizers arranged on a plate.
Lemon Pepper
Four Reuben cocktail pumpernickel bread appetizers arranged on a plate.
Reuben

Here’s a very fast & loose recipe/method:

Get it:

  • Cocktail Rye bread and/or Cocktail Pumpernickel bread.
  • Bag of shredded cheese – we got Swiss & Gruyere.โ€‚Havarti, Swiss, Mozzarella, or Provolone would be fine.
  • Mayonnaise and/or Miracle Whip.
  • Lemon Pepper
  • Thousand Island dressing
  • Sauerkraut
  • Corned Beef lunch meat

Do it:

  • To start both, we mix 2 cups of shredded Swiss & Gruyere cheese with a few Tablespoons of mayo.โ€‚I’ll use Miracle Whip too.
  • I put the cheese mixture right on the rye, & sprinkled on some lemon pepper.
  • I put some corned beef lunch meat on the Pumpernickel.
  • I put both on to a baking sheet that has a baking rack, and put it into a pre-heated oven at 375ยฐ on the air fryer setting for 5 minutes.
  • Took ’em out and the lemon-pepper rye ones were done.
  • I added Thousand Island dressing, sauerkraut, & the cheese mixture to the Reuben ones and put ’em back in for 3 minutes at the same temp & on the same setting.

They’re always crowd-pleasers, and you really can top them any way you like.โ€‚You can just bake ’em too, or use a counter-top air fryer.โ€‚My wife brought them to me as a tradition from her family, I made Reuben ones, because…โ€‚Reubens, am I right?

And remember, I’m always right.

Pumpernickel is cool because it essentially is named for theย devilโ€™s fartsโ€ฆ and if thatโ€™s not cool, I donโ€™t know what is. This is also code in my household for โ€œI am always right.โ€ I told my wife the name origin behind it, she said there was no way, Googled itโ€ฆ and, like I saidโ€ฆ I am always right.

Me – from the old Rye bread post.