I “know” Sid from a Facebook group or three, and James Gunn not only crushes it on making movies and TV shows with crazy needle drops, but he also has no problem setting the record straight on DCU projects directly to the people. I have written about his move from Marvel to DC and his Creature Commandos Playlist before.
So, how cool is that? An-Die DysLeXiC introduced me to the cinematic masterpiece that is Tromeo & Juliet featuring one of the most unhinged car crash scenes of all time.
The soundtrack is banger after banger, and knowing that Mr. Gunn chased down every one so it could be included is incredible. “Mr. Superlove” by the Ass Ponys is awesome. Same with “Math” by Supernova, “Gizzards, Scrapple and Tripe” by The New Duncan Imperials, “Drink That Whiskey” by The Wesley Willis Fiasco, and… “Sacrifice” by Motörhead!!
I still have this CD, and I’m gonna need to pop it in. I love the inside baseball on making movies and music selection. I’m reading You’ve Got Red On You about the making of Shaun of the Dead right now, and it’s fascinating about all the stuff that has to happen to get a project done.
Well, I’m on my old bullshit again. This is the part where I take an incredibly trivial thing that happened, and blow it wildly out of proportion. This is World (and Lunar) Domination. That joke is so old, the MySpace blog that initiated it is lost to time. I blame it all on my reading Idiot Letters.
I sent an email to Wendy’s the other day… via their customer service email. It was such a canned response, I got it twice. I used Gemini, ChatGPT, & Perplexity to help identify their executives and guess their email syntax, but I suppose I was blocked as spam for trying to email them all at once. And maybe for this attachment.
This is what I wrote…
From: Eric Aixelsyd<aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com> Date: Sun, Jun 1, 2025 at 11:11 PM Subject: Wendy’s, are you OK? (Bridgeville, PA) To: <customercare@wendys.com>, <kirk.tanner@wendys.com> Cc: <digital@wendys.com>, <compliance@wendys.com>, <mediarelations@wendys.com>, <privacy@wendys.com>, <InvestorRelations@wendys.com>, <customercare@wendys.com>, <abigail.pringle@wendys.com>, <liliana.esposito@wendys.com>, <carl.loredo@wendys.com>, <mary.greenlee@wendys.com>, <coley.obrien@wendys.com>, <john.min@wendys.com>, <lindsay.radkoski@wendys.com>
Hello Ladies & Gentlemen of Wendy’s,
I write to you today with great concern. Your location in Bridgeville Pennsylvania (which some locals on Facebook & Nextdoor will pedantically yet vehemently point out is in Collier Township and not Bridgeville proper) is in what could be fairly considered shambles. The dining room is not clean. There are no baked potatoes about ⅓ of the time when I try to order them. Wait times for orders in the app can be excessive. Earlier today, we stopped in for what we thought would be a quick early relaxing dinner after catching Karate Kid: Legends at the local movie theater.
We should have ordered in the app. That was my first mistake. We ordered at the register and I asked if I could have a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger, then a bacon & cheese baked potato. After a long pause, the cashier looked to the kitchen and yelled to ask if there were any potatoes. A disembodied voice answered “NO!“, so the cashier laughed, looked at me and repeated the rather rude “NO!” Another long awkward pause later, I guessed I would take fries and an Iced Tea. Well, my second surprise was that there is no more fresh brewed iced tea, but the swill that comes from the magical flavor selector Coca~Cola machine.
My wife did the rest of the ordering for her and the kids, and somehow it turned into a debacle much like the famous Abbott & Costello Who’s On First? bit… with items being grouped weird, & lacking a cup for water as well as notes to hold lettuce, tomato, & onion on a Dave’s single. The shift manager had to be called over twice with an “I need your thumb!” while people behind us gathered & were wholly ignored. In this kerfuffle, an employee noted the homemade “We need your $1’s” sign scrawled on an 8″x10″ sheet of paper. The cashier adamantly expressed “We need that!” and a split second later, the shift manager angrily ripped it off the counter to the astonishment of the cashier. This sign has been a feature there and at the drive-through window since COVID. Who the hell pays in cash?
I think we technically stole a cup for water, but at total of $52.68 for four people, perhaps you can forgive us. I mean, at this point who is robbing who? If necessary, I will send a check to make it right. Do people still use checks? Maybe I can Venmo you.
Let me add some more context. We got our burgers, chicken sandwiches, and sad french fries. I chose Cherry Coke instead of tea, no big deal. Since I had to settle for fries, I tried to get ketchup. Both pumps were empty. There was what I can only assume was a store manager sitting talking on the phone at the table literally closest to the ketchup dispensers who made no attempts to correct the issue. I assume this was a store manager as he appeared to interview some poor unwitting soul who came in as I was trying to goad the last salvageable bits of sugary tomato sustenance out of their final home. My wife, who was waiting for the kids’ Frosty shakes, told the cashier that the ketchup pumps were both empty and she was literally thrown some ketchup packets. For the time allotted, it appears that the cows were milked fresh to create the ice cream. I didn’t know there was that much room behind the fryers back there. I commend your commitment to quality.
Now we get to the point that I just can’t get past. I can sadly yet honestly overlook all of the above and chalk it up to a standard fast food experience these days. What though, I’m sure you are wondering, could possibly have lodged itself so snugly in my proverbial craw? Cheese.
That’s right, cheese. How, my friends, does a restaurant that specializes in cheeseburgers… serve 4 sandwiches and not one of them has a slice of cheese that is remotely melted? American cheese too! If you look at American cheese too hard, it starts to melt. I could maybe even give you that the Asiago on the chicken sandwiches had a higher melting point. But, how tepid were those beef & chicken patties that it didn’t melt the cheese? Shouldn’t the buns also be toasted on the grill? Like cheese added to the burger on the grill and covered with a lid so it melts the cheese with steam? Shouldn’t the chicken have come out of the fryer so hot that the cheese melted instantly upon contact? Given the temperament of the employees, you can see why I didn’t dare complain then & there, lest I get cheese melted by being nestled in an armpit (or worse).
I really would like to know step-by-step what process you have for making burgers? It surely could not have been followed properly in this instance.
Also, are you OK? How is this permissible or even passable? Is no one from corporate checking on these locations? Is there no oversight or secret shopper type program? If there is, are these standards being met? If you peep the Google reviews, the people have spoken. It used to be that if a restaurant was out of something, they’d offer a discount for next time, a free item, or literally anything other than a blank stare. I am not looking for free food. I’m looking for a dining experience that matches the money paid, and this was definitely not it.
I have attached a maze for you. It illustrates my frustration while attempting to bring some levity to the situation. Perhaps while you try to navigate the correct maze path, you can contemplate the correct path to get this Wendy’s back on track. Do we need to call Gordon Ramsay or Robert Irvine? I really like a Wendy’s burger when it’s proper. It’s got a great beef taste and used to have consistent quality. The potatoes are great, but sometimes they too suffer from the cheese problem when the cheese sauce is topped with the shredded cheese. I miss broccoli as an option for potato toppings. They used to come out so hot that the steam could burn your face when you opened the container. I miss those days. Are customers too stupid now to avoid the steam?
I still just can’t understand how you can serve a cheeseburger without melted cheese at a restaurant founded on burgers. What happened? I remember the glory days of sun rooms, the salad & toppings bar. How did we come to this?
I thank you for your time, and I appreciate you if you have managed to read this far. I hope you find the time to respond, and I look forward to your thoughts.
From: Wendy’s Customer Care <customercare@wendys.com> Date: Mon, Jun 2, 2025 at 12:21 PM Subject: Wendy’s Customer Care [ thread::hsjDn4hRf3SLz4W3oE9RSDc:: ] To: aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com <aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com>
Dear Eric,
Thank you very much for taking the time to let us know about your recent Wendy’s experience.
At Wendy’s, we strive to delight every customer. When your experience falls short, we are committed to making it right.
The details of your experience have been recorded in our system and shared with the franchise leadership team in charge of this restaurant. We hope you experience the quality and service that we expect on your next visit.
We have added a We Got You $ off in-app offer to your mobile account to use at any Wendy’s location. This offer is valid for 30 days from the date it was added. To find the offer from the Home page of the Wendy’s App, tap the ‘Offers’ option on the bottom menu bar. Then scroll to the bottom of the offers page and select the We Got You in-app offer. We recommend you check that the offer is applied before completing your order.
Thank you for sharing your experience with us and for being a Wendy’s customer!
Regards,
The Wendy’s Company
And then, I had to write to them again! I went a few days later, to a different Wendy’s, in a different state, to get a breakfast sandwich with that credit. Again… NO MELTED CHEESE! What is going on here? Who would happily eat this nonsense? Who would make a sandwich like that and think that’s OK? Apparently, everyone, at every Wendy’s, everywhere.
I did the survey on the receipt, and got this:
From: Moundsville 391 <moundsville00391@gmail.com> Date: Wed, Jun 4, 2025 at 10:15 AM Subject: Following Up To: AiXeLsyD13(at)gmail.com <AiXeLsyD13(at)gmail.com>
Hello Eric,
My name is Ryder and I am contacting you on behalf of Moundsville Wendy’s. We got your feedback about a recent visit and just wanted to thank you for the feedback, we strive to serve every customer to the best of our abilities. We would be glad to give you a replacement meal.
Best Regards,
Ryder
I replied to that including my maze, and got nothing. I wrote about it to corporate again, and got THE SAME EXACT RESPONSE as the first email. I got $10 credit the 1st time, and $% the second time. I don’t want free food, I want good food. They won’t acknowledge the maze. Neither will their snarky Threads and 𝕏Twitter accounts. 🤣 No response from FB Messenger, either.
So, @Wendys, how do you get a burger where the cheese is not even melted? Some of your locations need help, or training, or something.@WendysCanada You melt the cheese right up there, eh? pic.twitter.com/1uB4Rm24Od
Teriyaki Stuff [November 19, 2023] Why I want this sauce.
La Choy Teriyaki Terror [December 8, 2023] · I sent a maze to La Choy (Conagra) to literally illustrate my fristration at not being able to find their sauce.
Well, the tweets from before were apparently incorrect. The La Choy teriyaki variety that I liked has been discontinued. I emailed Conagra via webform and found a bunch of names and tried to garner email addresses online, which worked on at least 2 counts. I also got some replies from various grocery stores.
From: Conagra Consumer Care consumer.care@conagra.com Date: Tue, Dec 19, 2023 at 1:03 PM Subject: LA CHOY Consumer Care Response: Case # 06631637 [ ref:!00D800cIJR.!500QU02afd0:ref ] To: [me]
Hello Eric,
Thank you so much for taking the time to reach out to us regarding the La Choy Teriyaki Sauce. There was obvious passion in your correspondence, both for the former product you preferred and for the current product that does not meet your expectations. We’d like to offer some background and what we hope is a worthy alternative.
Previously we produced both the La Choy Teriyaki Marinade and Sauce that you enjoyed, and the La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade. With two similar sauces available, earlier this year we discontinued production of the La Choy Teriyaki Marinade and Sauce. We work with grocery stores and other retail partners to optimize our product assortment. Through these conversations, we often need to make decisions about discontinuing products. These are difficult decisions, as we know a discontinued product can be a disappointment to consumers.
We appreciate your candid feedback on the current La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade. This feedback was shared with our brand team and will go to our internal culinary team as well. Every piece of consumer input is valuable to us.
Within the Conagra Brands portfolio, we also offer PF Chang’s Home Menu, and we hope their Teriyaki Sauce is one that you’ll enjoy. PF Chang’s Home Menu is inspired by the tastes and high-quality ingredients of PF Chang’s bistros. The Teriyaki Sauce is part of a collection of sauces we introduced a few years ago, and if you’re interested in trying it, we’d be happy to send you a few bottles. If this would be ok, please reply to this email with your complete mailing address, and if applicable, please include the Unit or Apt. #.
Thank you again for your loyalty to the La Choy brand and the time you spent providing us feedback. Both are appreciated.
From: Conagra Consumer Care [consumer.care@conagra.com] Sent: 12/11/2023, 1:43 PM To: [me] Subject: LA CHOY Consumer Care Response: Case # 06631637 [ ref:!00D800cIJR.!500QU02afd0:ref ]
Hello Eric,
Thank you for reaching out to Ms. Schaefer’s office to let us know you were a fan of our LA CHOY TERIYAKI MARINADE AND SAUCE.
From time to time we reformulate our product recipes, this also includes how consumer preferences change over time. Unfortunately, it’s no longer available but we’ll make sure to share your comments regarding your request to bring back the older formulation with appropriate personnel.
If you have any further questions, please don’t hesitate to contact our supervisors at 1-800-722-1344, between the hours of 9:00 A.M. and 4:00 P.M. CST, Monday through Thursday, and between the hours of 9:00 A.M. and 1:00 P.M. CST, on Fridays. Please give reference number 06631637 to the supervisor who answers your phone call. If a supervisor isn’t available, please leave a voicemail with your name and reference number. A supervisor should return your call within 48 business hours.
Thanks again for taking the time to share your feedback.
Thank you for replying. We're unable to provide the recipe as it is proprietary but appreciate your interest in our products. Thank you again for taking the time message and enjoy your week.
From: Guest Relations guest.relations@target.com Date: Mon, Dec 11, 2023 at 4:12 PM Subject: Your Inquiry to Target.com Executive Offices To: [me]
Hello Eric,
Thank you for contacting Target about your experience. I received a copy of your email from our executive offices along with a request to reach out.
Thanks for asking about this “La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade” we understand you are interested to know if we carry or plan on carrying this. I do apologize, but we do not have this item available in our assortment and at this time we do not have any additional information to share regarding future availability. To view the wide variety of other Teriyaki sauces we do carry please click here.
We appreciate you reaching out and sharing interest with this item. I’ll be sure to share your comments with our buyers.
From: Melissa (Fresh Thyme) support@freshthyme.zendesk.com Date: Sat, Dec 9, 2023 at 10:50 AM Subject: [Fresh Thyme] Re: La Choy Teriyaki Sauce & Marinade To: [me]
Your request (26880) has been updated. To add additional comments, reply to this email.
Melissa (Fresh Thyme)
Dec 9, 2023, 9:50 AM CST
Dear Eric,
Thanks for reaching out! The products available at our stores may differ by location. To find out if your local store carries (product name), you may visit our website http://www.freshthyme.com and search for any of your desired products.
I will forward this to the Store Director for the Bridgeville, PA store location for you as well.
Thank you for being a Fresh Thyme customer! Melissa Fresh Thyme Customer Care
Nothing from Giant Eagle, Walmart, or Shop’n Save.
You should try to solve the maze, & then post it & tag me on social media. I’m @AiXeLsyD on pretty much everything.
I would love to hear your thoughts on how they or I could have handled the situation better.
I don’t feel they owe me anything at this point.
Where should we go to buy a couch? Are any furniture stores better than the others?
My requirements are:
It must be delivered, I don’t want to pick it up or assemble anything.
I want to see it & sit in it first. (Our current couch was bought online, sight-unseen, and is a dud.)
The store has to be able to actually hit promised delivery dates.
I’m stuck on a nice HIGH back after seeing a few.
🪑
Here’s the latest from Levin:
🪑
Eric,
I completely understand where you are coming from. I apologize that we failed to get your correct chair delivered to you during this time. I am the person that called your wife about the Facebook post. I wanted to reach out to you to apologize and see what I could do to help the situation. When we fail to meet our customers’ expectations, we want to make it right.
I know you said you weren’t sure what we could do at this point, but I feel we need to take ownership of our mistake and acknowledge your feelings. On behave of Levin Furniture I apologize for the mistake and the inconvenience this caused you during your recovery. That is a true heart felt apology, I treat customers the way I would want to be treated. I think sometimes we get desensitized and need to be reminded that people have other things going on in their lives and just owning our mistakes and saying I am sorry can make a difference.
I know you said you do not want to shop with a us. But if you would like to give us another chance in the future, please let me know and I will see we take care of you. If there is anything I can assist you with, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me.
Best Regards,
Kelly Matyas
Customer Experience Manager
🪑
Should I write/call back?
Actual footage from a staff meeting about my recliner.
Well, I was done with Levin. Then they emailed a customer satisfaction survey. That triggered me again. Here’s what I sent back. Then I dug up as many corporate names as I could, and their email syntax. I know some landed, because about three minutes after I hit send they were calling my wife.
Here’s what I said:
💻
Hello Friends,
I recently had what we’ll call a horrendous experience with Levin Furniture. I had vented about it online, and moved on. Until my wife forwarded me the customer satisfaction survey. That took some immense lack of self-awareness on your part, so I am hoping with this missive to make you a bit more aware. The following is what I typed up & sent along with the 3 1-star answers to the survey. I thought I would look up some email addresses and get it in front of as many eyes as I could. I will also copy the salesman that my wife dealt with who never replied to her email inquiring about delivery.
Already sent was the following:
On Saturday September 9th, my wife & son went to Levin and a few other furniture stores to purchase a powered recliner for me, to help with post colo-rectal surgery recovery.
Looking online at our options and various price ranges, I knew I wanted a chair that had a cup holder, phone charger, and storage pockets… as I was not sure how mobile I would be post-op, and was quite frankly uncomfortable going into surgery.
I would have gone to view them myself, but that happened to be in-between my second and third ER trips & hospital admissions in 4 weeks stemming from a burst pocket of diverticulitis and a nasty ensuing abscess and infection. I was in poor health, and in no mood to deal with furniture sales tactics. I can even provide photos of the CT scans and the drain sticking out of my right but cheek if you like to be grossed out.
My wife ordered an Ashley Model Next-Gen DuraPella Power Recliner SKU # 2200413, mainly because Levin promised to deliver before La-Z-Boy & Value City could on very similarly optioned & priced items. Remember that “before” qualifier as you digest (pun intended) the following paragraphs.
In hindsight, it was a largely false promise on the part of Levin, one that if I were a pessimist would assume is a regular practice on the part of your sales team.
The chair was promised to be delivered by Sept. 19th. That Tuesday came & my wife logged in to the website to see the delivery was now scheduled for Thursday Sept. 21st, and we had no communication on that change from Levin.
On Thursday, my wife called the delivery number, then the store to ask about the chair’s whereabouts. She talked to an Anna who said the original salesperson, Jared Chambers, was “new” and “didn’t know he had to schedule the delivery.”
My wife also emailed jchambers@levinfurniture.com on Sept. 21st to inquire about the delivery, but as of yet has not received a reply. We can forward that unanswered email if needed.
Despite this excuse smelling of total and absolute bovine feces, Anna told my wife that they could “squeeze us in” that Saturday the 23rd for delivery. Were we the first order where this was discovered? If not, why wasn’t it rectified sooner? Does Levin train all new employees this poorly? You don’t really have to answer that last one. It was rhetorical.
Saturday the 23rd came and two nice men delivered a recliner to us. Once they brought it in & put it together, I noticed that it does not have the cup holder, phone charger, or storage pockets. It happened to be an Ashley Model 5930213 Power Recliner @ $1349.99, completely not what we ordered. It was not the same model, SKU #, or price.
The guys sent photos to their boss, their boss contacted Levins, & Anna called my wife.
We tipped the guys $20 and they took the nice new recliner away.
In that conversation with my wife, Anna then blamed an incorrect tag or sku # being on the display model in the showroom. She also used the phrasing that it was “no one’s fault.” This incensed me, as it obviously was the fault of Levin employees on multiple levels. Who tagged the chair with the wrong tag? Who double-checks their work? The salesman did not confirm that what he was ordering matched the floor model? This is not “no one’s fault,” this is a tragic comedy of careless errors.
My wife asked Anna at that time if we could purchase the floor model, as time was of the essence. Anna said she would call back.
We went to Big Lots! in Washington PA that evening to look at couches. Yes, we need a couch, and Levin is off the table for what I believe to be quite obvious reasons.
Anna had still not called my wife as of around 6:00 PM, so my wife called her. Anna said we could have the floor model if we came and got it. Now, I am in poor health with restrictions on lifting, my kids are young, we have a vehicle classed as a station wagon, and my wife is a strong woman, but I would not ask her to move a recliner herself.
You would think the salesman and or store manager eager to make good on a sale, would have delivered the damn thing in a pickup or something.
Customer service is dead.
No concessions on price were offered from Anna. My wife asked for some form of compensation for our aggravation, and at first the only offer was to refund the original delivery fee… for the WRONG CHAIR. Crazy us to assume it would be a given to not pay for that. I believe we got half off of the 2nd delivery, and were refunded the difference between the original incorrect, more expensive chair, and the correct less expensive one.
If your profit margins are so small that you cannot automatically offer a few hundred dollars off on this purchase or even on a future purchase, you perhaps need to rethink your entire business model.
The correct recliner was finally delivered on Tuesday Oct. 3rd. This was a full two weeks after it was promised, after the dates when we could have received a recliner from your esteemed competitors, and 3 days after I was released from the hospital.after surgery.
Did I mention that we set our old chair out for the trash the Thursday night prior to the initial incorrect Saturday delivery?
I would like to ask you to imagine having a foot-long section of your colon and rectum removed, your remaining section of colon & rectum stapled together, a wound vac hanging on your side connected to a tube from an incision above your belly button, and a bulbous drain hanging out of your side right at your waistline.
That makes sitting anywhere uncomfortable. Imagine, if you would, a nice stressless recliner to ease the situation… because I can’t.
Some other person did leave a voicemail for my wife after I left a frustration-venting rant & a comment or two on Facebook, but that was the night of my colon-cleanse. If you’ll forgive the mental image, we already had enough crap to put up with.
Honestly though, for that attention-grabbing shenanigans to be the ONLY thing that triggered some sort of response, you were well past the too little/too late threshold.
Your people skills are abhorrent at the sales and service levels, and your corporate level customer service is merely reactionary to online “bad press” only to save face, not serve actual customer satisfaction & retention.
I actually applaud your testicular fortitude in reaching out with a customer satisfaction survey. It either takes massive ignorance or massive swagger. And you already know where I believe you fall on the scale.
I now intend to send this to every level of your corporation that has eyes. May the best of them find work elsewhere, and may the worst of them stay to drive you further into the ground than the last time you were there.
Thank you for your time, and may whatever deity you ascribe to have mercy on your soul,
I neglected to note we tipped the 2nd set of delivery guys $20 too. But, if they don’t even pretend to care about the customers, they certainly don’t care about the employees, right? While we’re on the subject… was that appropriate, or cheap? I try to check in on these things occasionally.
After Kelly Maytas at Levin left my wife a Voicemail, I got this email…
💻
Eric,
Thank you for reaching out to us and letting us know about your experience. We aim to deliver a great experience and are disheartened when we don’t. We will use your feedback to make us better.
I apologize for the inconvenience and the stress this has caused you. I personally would like to speak to you about your experience and respectfully apologize and take ownership of our failure to deliver a great experience. I know you need to rest, but at your convenience can you please give me a call at 330-###-####.
Best Regards,
Kelly Matyas
Customer Experience Manage
💻
I took the time to send this back…
💻
Thank You Ms. Maytas,
Not sure if you got just the survey response, or the email that I tried to send to a handful of people after researching names and email syntax online.
I am really not sure what you can do at this point for us.
I suggest you get your Robinson store in order… from tagging furniture properly, to sales reps understanding the product, your procedures, or setting up deliveries in a timely manner, and customer service reps that understand what apologizing really is. Only then can you maybe knock it out of the park for future customers.
We are in desperate need of a new couch, but not that desperate. I feel like your team has not only burned but nuked the proverbial bridge, and I concede that I worked on that from my side of things also. I am not a fan of phone calls, I prefer the written word. I also prefer retailers that automatically offer discounts on current or future sales without having to be asked. Again, we’re past that.
Unless you’d like to suggest a competitor that will actually deliver a quality product on time?
Good luck to you in righting the ship at Levins, as your tenacity in reaching out speaks to the fact that you will stay the course! I wish that we could have dealt with you on the store level instead of when it reached a wild level of ridiculousness (again, the online shenanigans are all on me – but it shouldn’t have taken that to garner attention).
I appreciate your time in reaching out! I like you, unlike your seemingly dimwitted and soul-crushed coworkers. Perhaps they need a pizza party or two for morale?
So, right before new years, I went on adventure looking for mini cocktail rye breads from Pepperidge Farm. They used to make one called Jewish Rye, and Pumpernickel.
The Jewish Rye was cool because it contained ground caraway seeds instead of the standard whole caraway seeds. I have had bouts with Diverticulitis, so I try to stay hydrated & avoid tiny sharp seeds. Caraway absolutely ruins sauerkraut, but it is good in rye bread.
Pumpernickel is cool because it essentially is named for the devil’s farts… and if that’s not cool, I don’t know what is. This is also code in my household for “I am always right.” I told my wife the name origin behind it, she said there was no way, Googled it… and, like I said… I am always right.
Did they just stop making those little mini seedless cocktail rye bread things? They are increasingly hard to find every new year. Struck out at Kuhn's & Shop 'n Save, @GiantEagle has been a miss the last few years. Maybe @FreshThymeFM?
I know that the other manufacturer, S. Rosen, make cocktail-sized rye and pumpernickel bread… but the rye is not seedless. Apparently Hanky Panky means something entirely different in some parts of Ohio.
My wife likes to make this stuff for New Year’s that’s like swiss cheese, lemon-pepper, and mayo on the cocktail-sized Jewish Rye then toasted in the oven. It’s delicious. I like to make little mini open faced Reubens. The pumpernickel would be an acceptable alternative if I absolutely can’t find the seedless rye.
Because I’m weird and can’t leave anything alone, we have this…
Hey there, Eric. We're sorry to hear you're having trouble finding our Party Rye and Pumpernickel Bread. Unfortunately, we have discontinued it. We will be sure to let the team know you were looking for it. https://t.co/7lhEBw42Iu
I, of course, posted it on Twitter, Instagram, & Facebook. I tagged Pepperidge Farm & Pepperidge Farm Cares. To their credit, they did reply:
Hi there, we're sorry to hear this! Unfortunately, this variety is no longer available. We will pass along to our team that you want to see them return.
I did tag all the stores that I could in the photo on Instagram and Facebook, but none of them have taken the bait.
I had to turn it up a notch, to which they did not reply:
All of that just says:
Hello,
I was wondering if anyone had time to try and complete my maze while considering bringing back cocktail-sized Jewish Rye.
The ground caraway was awesome, because it isn’t a potential diverticulitis disaster like whole seeds are.
My wife wpuld [sic] use it to make this delicious lemon pepper cheese appetizer, and I like to make tiny Reuben sandwiches and pretend I am a reformed King King that no longer has to eat people sacrificed to me on Skull Island.
The mini pumpernickel is cool just because of the etymology. I mean? It has to be the most metal bread out there. 🤘
How can you discontinue such wonderful things?
Also, AI generated art seems to be the cool thing these days, so I tried to make this on a few different ones to go along with the blog post:
I may have to buy a gorilla suit and make some tiny Reubens with the S. Rosen bread… and convince the wife or kids to take my photo.
Or, I may have to make a maze for S. Rosen, featuring a caraway seed that must make the journey through my guys without getting stuck, causing inflammation & a possible infection. Or maybe it has to make its way through a grinder before beign added to the dough & baked?
@SRosens1909 So, do you guys make a seedless cocktail rye bread, or just the Pumpernickel (the most metal of all breads! 🤘💨)?
I know the big PF dropped the ball and you picked up the slack. Bravo!
I doubt than anyone at Pepperidge Farm or Pepperidge Farm Cares is going to complete my maze. But, if they do, you can thank me later.
As far as discussion here, which I always ask for yet rarely get in the comments, let me know what you do with mini cocktail rye or pumpernickel bread.
Also… Ler’s discuss Reubens. Russian or Thousand Island? Regular rye or marbled? Do you add anything like bacon or swap out corned beef for Pastrami? Do you ever use Havarti instead of Swiss? Grilled in a pan, or on a panini press? I should blog about Reubens. Mmm. I’m hungry.
Also, please, please, complete the maze! Send me the results, post & tag me!
The most important takeaway is that if I tell you something, I am always right. Pumpernickel.
Should you have any questions, please feel free to contact us.
Best Regards,
One Touch
There’s a reverse switch? The answer is that simple? I’m so disappointed, I haven’t even tried it yet. Why not mark the switch? I don’t remember the thing coming with instructions! Bastards.
There may be a slight language barrier here, and a large cultural one.
Also, I decided to further my communication with Astrid at Bed Bath & Beyond. Apparently this was going too far…
From: Eric <_____________@_____.___> To: Bed Bath & Beyond <bedbathandbeyond@mailnj.custhelp.com> Sent: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 1:19 PM Subject: Re: PRODUCT INQUIRY [Incident: 120525-000501]
Thanks Astrid,
We’ll have to go with the store credit then. This is absolutely not a problem. I always want to buy many things every time we’re in a Bed, Bath & Beyond. Do you have a favorite can opener, or other cool kitchen gadget? Perhaps we could get that. Maybe some time my wife & I could have you over for dinner & we can use our new can opener. What’s your favorite canned food? I generally prefer fresh vegetables over canned… but I do like to make chili with a lot of canned ingredients. Do you like chili?
I’d like to suggest that you guys carry P-38’s. They really are useful, and don’t have any moving or electrical parts that can break or get stuck.
I like chili served over mashed potatoes. I like mashed potatoes.
Here’s what happened when I translate that back into English:
Hello, try the help of China (Google translation), because I did not reply.
Hello can conqueror!
Today I write to you, you must have encountered the problem. I my second one-touch can opener … it has been stuck lid incapacitated. Please see the attached picture, literally, to explain my plight. As you can see, the cover still firmly rests in the one-touch can opener. This is not the first time this has occurred with the unit. Sometimes I was able to convince to give up, an extra button lid opener. This time, all the extra moving can not work properly. Now left with what amounts to expensive battery on my kitchen counter, plastic and metal rock. This can be an eye-opener to rock at present there is no purpose (other than annoying me, every time I see it). I have only one or two months. It has a new battery. Prior to this it is useless, it does not get much use.
I previously owned one-touch can opener, and eventually encounter the same problem. I can see past the fact that the product, called one-button operation involving several to many false starts. I was able to handle the fact that occasionally cut a tiny, you can label the ribbon and drag it to my food. Scraps, usually easy to find and pick out. I was able to accept, it will occasionally fall, a complete, remove the cover, may also be in the process that can be knocked. It is still like the award-winning chili or relaxed and comfortable food 9 CAN vegetable soup, do things to save time. (Although, I bet the people … I will be on my money in a P-38, the army opened a can opener faster.)
I once thought that when I tried to forcibly from my first touch the lid opener outbreak. It is no longer respond to my touch. I checked the battery. I tried a different size cans. I tried to use force. (I think at first light, and eventually the dark side. Anger really hate, like Yoda said. Hatred eventually led to the pain of my wallet.) Peace attempt to no avail. May blind one-touch powerful grip pliers barbaric pry the lid is a bad idea. I chalk I’m a fool, resignation just a new purchase.
I bought a new one, from Bed Bath & Beyond, I believe, we have arrived, I introduced at the beginning of this email. I left stuck in the attached photo of the cover, and in the useless single touch can opener.
I do not know what is what my game is over here. My plan is to write to you to inform you of the situation to see if there are others who have encountered the same problem, see if you can provide a solution. I want to say an acceptable course of action will include (but are not limited to) the following:
How to get one-touch can opener to give up the lid, and it deeply embrace recommendations.
A new and improved features one-button (if present).
Worth about $ 20, P-38 issued by the U.S. armed forces or other operation of non-electric can opener. I came to this approximate figure (and I down rounding): $ 15 one-touch, and $ 5 brand name batteries.
More agree recompensation of course, if you want to, I am open to suggestions. I think I should get something, at least you my failure in rapid succession. Of course, do you agree? Most reasonable people.
Thank you for your time and assistance. I look forward to your reply and suggested solution. I am anxious to remove the plastic from my kitchen counter without metal decoration features a touch of rock.
. Interest in music, then learn the Disabled to laugh it really true
I ought to do this with all of my emails from now on. This is much more interesting.
Friends don’t let automatic can openers drink & open cans.
At any rate, I shot out an email to Bed Bath & Beyond too, and they seemingly always stand behind their reputation. I can get store credit if I bring in the stuck lid and whichever card we used to make the purchase. Thanks to my wife’s memory, we bought it on the same day she bought a flour sifter not too long ago. I doubt we have the receipt, but we still do have the card that made the purchase.
Their initial response:
From: Bed Bath & Beyond <bedbathandbeyond@mailnj.custhelp.com> To: _____________@_____.___ Sent: Tuesday, May 29, 2012 Subject: PRODUCT INQUIRY [Incident: 120525-000501]
Subject
PRODUCT INQUIRY
Discussion Thread
Response Via Email (Astrid)
05/29/2012 04:27 PM
Dear Eric;Thank you for your email.We sincerely apologize for the situation described in your email. At Bed Bath & Beyond, we want our customers to be 100% satisfied with our customer service and merchandise selection. You may return this item to any of our stores for an even exchange or store credit. You can receive a refund in the manner you paid for the item if you have your receipt. Please note, there is no time limit to make a return and we do not require the original packaging. We are also forwarding this information over to our buyers and the vendor for their consideration and improvement.We hope this information has been helpful. Please email or call us at 1-800-GO-BEYOND (1-800-462-3966) if you have any questions.Sincerely,Astrid
Customer Service
Bed Bath & Beyond
My reply:
From: -mE. <_____________@_____.___> To: Bed Bath & Beyond <bedbathandbeyond@mailnj.custhelp.com> Sent: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 Subject: Re: PRODUCT INQUIRY [Incident: 120525-000501]
Aloha Astrid!
Thank you, your reply was rather quick! I have not had even as much as an acknowledgement of a receipt of my email from the manufacturer. Apparently they don’t stand behind their products. Perhaps you ought to review or do more rigorous tests on the things that you sell. Has anyone else complained of this issue?
I’m not sure if we still have the receipt, as it was purchased some time ago. I’m sure my wife or I purchased it with one of our debit cards though. Would you be able to find the transaction from the card? I know some stores can do that, and I know you guys have a pretty awesome no-hassle returns policy.
If I bring in the One-Touch can opener, can I leave the stuck lid? Do you have any P-38 can openers for sale?
Rock on,
-Eric
.seitilibasid gninrael fo nuf ekam ot ynnuf ton yllaer s’tI
Their secondary response:
From: Bed Bath & Beyond <bedbathandbeyond@mailnj.custhelp.com> To: _____________@_____.___ Sent: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 Subject: PRODUCT INQUIRY [Incident: 120525-000501]
Subject
PRODUCT INQUIRY
Discussion Thread
Response Via Email (Astrid)
05/30/2012 10:08 AM
Dear Eric;
Thanks for responding. However, as I have explained you are able to return this defective item back to any of our stores for an exchange or store credit, if you do not have the receipt and use the credit towards the purchase of a new can opener of your choice. Please keep in mind that you may bring your return as it is with no problem. Unfortunately we do not carry P-38 can openers in our selection.
If we can be of further assistance please email us again or call our eService Center at 1-800-GO-BEYOND® (1-800-462-3966).
What happened? I remember the glory days of sun rooms, the salad & toppings bar. How did we come to this?
![Hello,
I was wondering if anyone had time to try and complete my maze while considering bringing back cocktail-sized Jewish Rye.
The ground caraway was awesome, because it isn't a potential diverticulitis disaster like whole seeds are.
My wife wpuld [sic] use it to make this delicious lemon pepper cheese appetizer, and I like to make tiny Reuben sandwiches and pretend I am a reformed King King that no longer has to eat people sacrificed to me on Skull Island.
The mini pumpernickel is cool just because of the etymology. I mean? It has to be the most metal bread out there.
How can you discontinue such wonderful things?](https://aixelsyd13.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/wp-1674692091553.jpg?w=220)
