So I think someone, probably most likely the zoo, missed a huge opportunity to house and name 3 recently liberated alligators in Pittsburgh’s South Hills.

The three alligators were recently released into the wilds of the urban jungle by some wildly intelligent human(s?) on the South Side, in Beechview, and in Carrick.

I confess I haven’t even read all the stories. Who needs facts when you have Facebook comments?

I’m sure KDKA, WTAE, & WPXI glossed over the hard-hitting facts and went right for speculation and didn’t sensationalize or fearmonger at all like they do every time we get a drop of rain. I did see a link to a recap, but there was a video and ain’t nobody got time for that. Looks like the Humane Society took care of these things and got them to a Sanctuary.

• South Side “Frankie” – 2 | 4 |11
• Beechview “Fluffy” – 2 | 4 | 11 (Actually his name is Chomp, and dude wants him back!)
• Carrick – 2 | 4 | 11

These three amigos, or Amigators if you will, should have been named Alleghator, Monogagator, & Ohiodile and been given their own small replica of the point to swim around in. I mean, they could play in the fountain, sunbathe in a stadium, and even ride a mini-incline.

Yes, I know alligators and crocodiles are entirely unrelated. Shh. Don’t ruin it.

Concept Art for Three Amigators Enclosure