Tag Archives: split

Onion Nooks & Swiss Crannies 🧅🧀

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So, the other night, I caramelized some onions for some burgers. In my time-honored tradition of always making too much… I had some leftover. I had an idea for English muffins for breakfast topped with the onions & some Swiss cheese, so I tried it, out.

The were absolutely delicious. Just posting this so I can pin it & refer back to it.

When caramelizing the yellow onions in a ridiculous amount of butter, I added some salt, onion powder, garlic powder, paprika, ground mustard, & black pepper. I have no idea if this is “correct” but it was delicious. I start them out on medium until they’re translucent, then cook on medium-low for a ridiculously long time.

A close-up of a toasted English muffin topped with caramelized onions & melted Swiss cheese on a parchment paper background. 🍞🧈🧅🧀

Fast forward to the next morning, I split some L’Oven Fresh English Muffins, spread butter on them, spread some of the leftover caramelized onions on them, and topped with half a slice of Swiss cheese… and baked in a pre-heated 350° F oven for about 13 minutes. (The onions were cold from the ‘fridge, & I wanted to be sure they were heated up before everything was too toasted.)

It was a great breakfast… but I did miss a beef broth or au jus kind of flavor. Would have been like French Onion English Muffins then. Maybe next time?

Four toasted English muffin halves topped with caramelized onions & melted Swiss cheese on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.

What would you call this? Have you done something similar? Would you do it different? Ever try the oven method to caramelize onions, or something other than slow & low on the stovetop? Let me know in the comments!

∞ Magical Musical Split? @Dethlehem & @TheBloodySeamen should do this…

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Oprah Money & Dick Cheney Power

Oprah Money & Dick Cheney Power – This could be the cover, because… Why not?

OK, so if I had Oprah money and Dick Cheney power, and could treat other human beings like my own personal play things…  I would commission two local Pittsburgh metal bands to do an epic cover split.  Do bands that aren’t punk bands do splits?  Well, they will if they’re my playthings.

I’d want Dethlehem to cover Black Sabbath’s “War Pigs” (with the original “Walpurgis” lyrics of course), and The Bloody Seamen to cover the Beastie Boys’ “Rhymin’ and Stealin'” (which music nerds know features another Sabbath riff from “Sweet Leaf”).

Why?  Why not?  I love obscure and nonsensical covers.  I like these bands.  They would probably not want any part of this.  I mean, guys in bands LOVE it when you go up to them and spew out “You know what song you guys should cover?” then ramble off dumb ideas like this.

Witches gather at black masses
Bodies burning in red ashes
On the hill the church in ruin
Is the scene of evil doings
It’s a place for all bad sinners
Watch them eating dead rats’ innards
I guess it’s the same wherever you may go
Oh Lord yeah

Carry banners which denounce the lord
See me rocking in my grave
See them anoint my head with dead rat’s blood
See them stick the stake through me
Oh

Don’t hold me back cause I’ve just gotta go
They’ve got a hold of my soul now
Lords got my brain instinct with blood obscene
Look in my eyes I’m there enough
Yeah

On the scene a priest appears
Sinners falling at his knees
Satan sends out funeral pyre
Casts the priest into the fire
It’s the place for all bad sinners
Watch them eating dead rats’ innards
I guess it’s the same wherever you may go
Oh lord yeah

Because Mutiny on the Bounty’s what we’re all about
I’m gonna board your ship and turn it on out
No soft sucker with a parrot on his shoulder
‘Cause I’m bad gettin’ bolder, cold cold gettin’ colder

Terrorizin’ suckers on the seven seas
And if you’ve got beef, you get capped in the knees
We got sixteen men on a dead man’s chest
And I shot those suckers and I’ll shoot the rest

Most illingest b-boy, I got that feelin’
‘Cause I am most ill and I’m rhymin’ and stealin’

Shh! Snatchin’ gold chains, vikin’ pieces of eight
I got your money and your honey and the fly name plate
We got wenches on the benches and bitties with titties
Housin’ all girlies from city to city

One for all and all for one
Takin’ out MC’s with a big shotgun
All for one and one for all
Because the Beastie Boys have gone A.W.O.L

Friggin’ in the riggin’, man, cuttin’ your throat
Big bitin’ suckers gettin’ thrown in the moat
We got maidens and wenches, man they’re on the ace
Captain Bligh’s gonna die when we break his face

Most illingest b-boy, I got that feelin’
I am most ill and I’m rhymin’ and stealin’

Ali Baba and the forty thieves
Ali Baba and the forty thieves
Ali Baba and the forty thieves
Ali Baba and the forty thieves

Ali Baba and the forty thieves
Ali Baba and the forty thieves
Ali Baba and the forty thieves
Ali Baba and the forty thieves

Torchin’ and crackin’ and rhymin’ and stealin’
Robbin’ and rapin’, bustin’ two in the ceilin’
I’m wheelin’, I’m dealin’, I’m drinkin’, not thinkin’
Never cower, never shower and I’m always stinkin’

Yo ho ho and a pint of Brass Monkey
And when my girlie shakes her hips she sure gets funky
Skirt chasin’, free basin’, killin’ every village
We drink and rob and rhyme and pillage

Most illingest b-boy, I got that feelin’
I am most ill and I’m rhymin’ and stealin’

I was drinkin’ my rum, a deaf son of a gun
I fought the law and I cold won
Black Beard’s weak, Moby Dick’s on the tick
‘Cause I pull out the jammy and I squeeze off six

My pistol is loaded, I shot Betty Crocker
Deliver Colonel Sanders down to Davey Jones’ locker
Rhymin’ and stealin’ in a drunken state
And I’ll be rockin’ my rhymes all the way to hell’s gate

Most illingest b-boy, I got that feelin’
I am most ill and I’m rhymin’ and stealin’
Most illingest b-boy, I got that feelin’
I am most ill and I’m rhymin’ and stealin’

Most illingest b-boy, I got that feelin’
‘Cause I am most ill and I’m rhymin’ and stealin’
Most illingest b-boy, I got that feelin’
I am most ill and I’m rhymin’ and stealin’

Most chillinest b-boy
I am most ill and I’m rhymin’ and stealin’
Most killingest b-boy
I am most ill and I’m rhymin’ and stealin’

Most dustin’ out b-boy, I’m tossin’ my dust
Most finkinest b-boy, I’m doin’ that finkin’
Most rhyminest b-boy, I’m stretchin’ my shade
Most shootinest b-boy, I think you’re shit

Most rhyminest b-boy, I’ll steal your shit homeboy
Most taxinest b-boy, I’ll tax you boy
Most illingest illingest illingest b-boy
Taxin’ all y’all squares, yeah!

Maybe change “b-boy” to “pirate” or something?  Bandit?  Looter?  Outlaw?  Maybe the line “Because the Beastie Boys have gone A.W.O.L” to “‘Cause the Bloody Seamen have gone A.W.O.L”?  I’d pee my pants if I heard you all rapping.

So what would it take, guys?  Can we get a Kickstarter going, or what?

The Bloody Seamen

The Bloody Seamen

Dethlehem

Dethlehem

Google Engrish.

Posted on by Standard 5

So, recently I ordered a CD from Japan that I was unable to acquire anywhere else.  I find myself ordering stuff from Amazon.co.jp every once in a while because apparently I like bands that have a penchant for releasing stuff exclusive to other continents.  (Or I like bands that belong to record companies that have a penchant for releasing stuff exclusive to other continents.)

How/why Amazon.com and Amazon.co.jp are two different companies and why I can’t order stuff from the co.jp through my .com account is beyond me, but I have resigned to that fact and got myself an account with each entity.

This latest find is a split featuring Duncan Redmonds (of Snuff/Guns n’ Wankers/Billy No Mates/Duncan’s Divas and more recently Toy Dolls & Bubble and Squeak fame) called Don’t Wake Up the Kids.  I got an email a while ago from Amazon.co.jp alerting me to it’s release… but I haven’t’ seen it anywhere else since.  Duncan said he’d eventually have copies coming out of the UK, but I’m impatient so I had to order it.

Today I got the tracking email, and I decided to pop over to Google Translate to see what it said (even though I knew what the point of the email was & could see the tracking number).  The result was amusing.  I thought I’d share.

Subject: Amazon.co.jp shipping order (000-0000000-0000000)

********************************
Top Amazon.co.jp has updated hourly!
Most Popular Now check => http://www.amazon.co.jp/topsellers
********************************

News from Amazon.co.jp

Products we have shipped your order from you today.

I let you know your order has been processed.

Welcome to Amazon.co.jp, thank you. And the available
I’ll be expecting you.

We ship items are as follows.
————————————————– ——————-
Quantity Item Price Shipped Subtotal
————————————————– ——————-
Do not Wake Up The 1 ¥ 1,600 1 ¥ 1,600

————————————————– ——————-
Subtotal: ¥ 1,600
Shipping: ¥ 2,000

Total: ¥ 3,600 (USD 40.82)
Credit card payment: ¥ 3,600:  (USD 40.82)
————————————————– ——————

Amazon Total points Maipointopeji please visit:
http://www.amazon.co.jp/MyPoints

For more information, please check Amazon points from the following links:
http://www.amazon.co.jp/points-help
————————————————– ——————

This was sent to the shipping address below.

Eric Carroll c/o XXXXXXXXX Like
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
United States

Shipping: FEDEX

The contact number for shipping this document
000000000000

To check the current delivery status, Amazon.co.jp site account ”
Service “(http://www.amazon.co.jp/your- account) were examined with
Available.
However, it may take some time until the situation is reflected in delivery
Please note.

“Account” (http://www.amazon.co.jp/your-account) Page
If you move, you can check your order status online, still sending out work
You can change the contents of other order has not been started.

If you have any questions, “Help Desk”
(http://www.amazon.co.jp/help) please visit.見Tsukara necessary information
If not, “Help Desk” in the “Amazon.co.jp Contacting” The
Linking E-mail please contact us.

Amazon.co.jp offers, new products to suit your choice, recommended
Commodity stocks 申Shi forward to welcome you and informative articles
And up.

Welcome to Amazon.co.jp, thank you.

————————————————– ——————-
This E-mail address is used only for delivery. If not, please reply to this message
Or
The. Amazon.co.jp thank you to the future.
————————————————– ——————-
Amazon.co.jp
http://www.amazon.co.jp
————————————————– ——————-

I’ve heard this referred to as “Engrish“. I find it amusing.  One of these days though, I really would like to learn some Japanese.  It just seems so completely different, it would be really interesting.

The product description that appears even after I click the “see in English” button on Amazon.co.jp is still in Japanese, so I tried that out too…

Do not Wake Up The Kids!: Split
– Reddomonzu Duncan, Joey Cape horizontal Ken Yamaguchi (Artist), Joey Cape (Artist), Ken Yamaguchi horizontal (Artist), Reddomonzu Duncan (Artist)

Contents Introduction
Sun United States and Britain ★, split album is a dream three teamed to lead the world punk scene!
★ <Acoustic> the original keyword, LAGWAGON vocal JoeyCape, SNUFF vocals / drums DuncanRedmonds, you know, and KenYokoyama recorded a song solo just for the work it each three of his! As a player, a songwriter, punks As punk music can play adult because the real experience and ability!
To celebrate the release of this work ★, coupling Japan tour from Leko determine how the following date! Do not miss the limited time premium dream co-star!! ★ LAGWAGON, COKEHEADHIPSTERS, GOOD4NOTHING and handle Featured illustrator “TMpaint” special jacket with newly written!
Are actively engaged in a solo acoustic set with their previous individual 3 ★, the concept of luxury unheard of movement in response to the first acoustic song by punk artist becoming a major upsurge in the world to see Split decision board!
For Artists
JoeyCape: 90 LAGWAGON was formed in California, more than 10 albums released so far as the front man. FatWreckChords FatMike launched by NOFX’s founding member, and 90 made famous by labels such as the US Hazime Hiroshi the part of the punk movement. She is active in 2004 as a band TonySly (NOUSEFORANAME) and split, 1st solo album in 08 years if it is [Bridge and solo as he announces.
DuncanRedmonds: vocals himself in England in 1986 / SNUFF formed serving as a drum. A lot of attention around the world including Europe and America since its activities are still boasts a perennial favorite of many celebrities, including the cover and supported by sound and full of sorrow that Japanese in Japan. In addition to such KenYokoyama SNUFF with his or BILLYNOMATES TOYDOLLS, DUNCAN’SDIVAS various side projects / solo work is known, its name in 2008 as his first solo album [BubbleAndSqueak implemented its complete .
KenYokoyama: Year 94, Hi-STANDARD began working as a guitarist. After he set a milestone in the worldwide number of Japanese as well, since his solo 04 KENBAND KenYokoyama led three albums as a piece of 2 EP, 2 DVD overwhelming support of the work and announce The proud. At the same time, such as PizzaOfDeath launched his own popular band produced by various labels, there continue to lead the Japanese punk scene literally. March 10 The long awaited 4th album to release Four 』.

What?