I would love to hear your thoughts on how they or I could have handled the situation better.
I don’t feel they owe me anything at this point.
Where should we go to buy a couch? Are any furniture stores better than the others?
My requirements are:
It must be delivered, I don’t want to pick it up or assemble anything.
I want to see it & sit in it first. (Our current couch was bought online, sight-unseen, and is a dud.)
The store has to be able to actually hit promised delivery dates.
I’m stuck on a nice HIGH back after seeing a few.
🪑
Here’s the latest from Levin:
🪑
Eric,
I completely understand where you are coming from. I apologize that we failed to get your correct chair delivered to you during this time. I am the person that called your wife about the Facebook post. I wanted to reach out to you to apologize and see what I could do to help the situation. When we fail to meet our customers’ expectations, we want to make it right.
I know you said you weren’t sure what we could do at this point, but I feel we need to take ownership of our mistake and acknowledge your feelings. On behave of Levin Furniture I apologize for the mistake and the inconvenience this caused you during your recovery. That is a true heart felt apology, I treat customers the way I would want to be treated. I think sometimes we get desensitized and need to be reminded that people have other things going on in their lives and just owning our mistakes and saying I am sorry can make a difference.
I know you said you do not want to shop with a us. But if you would like to give us another chance in the future, please let me know and I will see we take care of you. If there is anything I can assist you with, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me.
Best Regards,
Kelly Matyas
Customer Experience Manager
🪑
Should I write/call back?
Actual footage from a staff meeting about my recliner.
Well, I was done with Levin. Then they emailed a customer satisfaction survey. That triggered me again. Here’s what I sent back. Then I dug up as many corporate names as I could, and their email syntax. I know some landed, because about three minutes after I hit send they were calling my wife.
Here’s what I said:
💻
Hello Friends,
I recently had what we’ll call a horrendous experience with Levin Furniture. I had vented about it online, and moved on. Until my wife forwarded me the customer satisfaction survey. That took some immense lack of self-awareness on your part, so I am hoping with this missive to make you a bit more aware. The following is what I typed up & sent along with the 3 1-star answers to the survey. I thought I would look up some email addresses and get it in front of as many eyes as I could. I will also copy the salesman that my wife dealt with who never replied to her email inquiring about delivery.
Already sent was the following:
On Saturday September 9th, my wife & son went to Levin and a few other furniture stores to purchase a powered recliner for me, to help with post colo-rectal surgery recovery.
Looking online at our options and various price ranges, I knew I wanted a chair that had a cup holder, phone charger, and storage pockets… as I was not sure how mobile I would be post-op, and was quite frankly uncomfortable going into surgery.
I would have gone to view them myself, but that happened to be in-between my second and third ER trips & hospital admissions in 4 weeks stemming from a burst pocket of diverticulitis and a nasty ensuing abscess and infection. I was in poor health, and in no mood to deal with furniture sales tactics. I can even provide photos of the CT scans and the drain sticking out of my right but cheek if you like to be grossed out.
My wife ordered an Ashley Model Next-Gen DuraPella Power Recliner SKU # 2200413, mainly because Levin promised to deliver before La-Z-Boy & Value City could on very similarly optioned & priced items. Remember that “before” qualifier as you digest (pun intended) the following paragraphs.
In hindsight, it was a largely false promise on the part of Levin, one that if I were a pessimist would assume is a regular practice on the part of your sales team.
The chair was promised to be delivered by Sept. 19th. That Tuesday came & my wife logged in to the website to see the delivery was now scheduled for Thursday Sept. 21st, and we had no communication on that change from Levin.
On Thursday, my wife called the delivery number, then the store to ask about the chair’s whereabouts. She talked to an Anna who said the original salesperson, Jared Chambers, was “new” and “didn’t know he had to schedule the delivery.”
My wife also emailed jchambers@levinfurniture.com on Sept. 21st to inquire about the delivery, but as of yet has not received a reply. We can forward that unanswered email if needed.
Despite this excuse smelling of total and absolute bovine feces, Anna told my wife that they could “squeeze us in” that Saturday the 23rd for delivery. Were we the first order where this was discovered? If not, why wasn’t it rectified sooner? Does Levin train all new employees this poorly? You don’t really have to answer that last one. It was rhetorical.
Saturday the 23rd came and two nice men delivered a recliner to us. Once they brought it in & put it together, I noticed that it does not have the cup holder, phone charger, or storage pockets. It happened to be an Ashley Model 5930213 Power Recliner @ $1349.99, completely not what we ordered. It was not the same model, SKU #, or price.
The guys sent photos to their boss, their boss contacted Levins, & Anna called my wife.
We tipped the guys $20 and they took the nice new recliner away.
In that conversation with my wife, Anna then blamed an incorrect tag or sku # being on the display model in the showroom. She also used the phrasing that it was “no one’s fault.” This incensed me, as it obviously was the fault of Levin employees on multiple levels. Who tagged the chair with the wrong tag? Who double-checks their work? The salesman did not confirm that what he was ordering matched the floor model? This is not “no one’s fault,” this is a tragic comedy of careless errors.
My wife asked Anna at that time if we could purchase the floor model, as time was of the essence. Anna said she would call back.
We went to Big Lots! in Washington PA that evening to look at couches. Yes, we need a couch, and Levin is off the table for what I believe to be quite obvious reasons.
Anna had still not called my wife as of around 6:00 PM, so my wife called her. Anna said we could have the floor model if we came and got it. Now, I am in poor health with restrictions on lifting, my kids are young, we have a vehicle classed as a station wagon, and my wife is a strong woman, but I would not ask her to move a recliner herself.
You would think the salesman and or store manager eager to make good on a sale, would have delivered the damn thing in a pickup or something.
Customer service is dead.
No concessions on price were offered from Anna. My wife asked for some form of compensation for our aggravation, and at first the only offer was to refund the original delivery fee… for the WRONG CHAIR. Crazy us to assume it would be a given to not pay for that. I believe we got half off of the 2nd delivery, and were refunded the difference between the original incorrect, more expensive chair, and the correct less expensive one.
If your profit margins are so small that you cannot automatically offer a few hundred dollars off on this purchase or even on a future purchase, you perhaps need to rethink your entire business model.
The correct recliner was finally delivered on Tuesday Oct. 3rd. This was a full two weeks after it was promised, after the dates when we could have received a recliner from your esteemed competitors, and 3 days after I was released from the hospital.after surgery.
Did I mention that we set our old chair out for the trash the Thursday night prior to the initial incorrect Saturday delivery?
I would like to ask you to imagine having a foot-long section of your colon and rectum removed, your remaining section of colon & rectum stapled together, a wound vac hanging on your side connected to a tube from an incision above your belly button, and a bulbous drain hanging out of your side right at your waistline.
That makes sitting anywhere uncomfortable. Imagine, if you would, a nice stressless recliner to ease the situation… because I can’t.
Some other person did leave a voicemail for my wife after I left a frustration-venting rant & a comment or two on Facebook, but that was the night of my colon-cleanse. If you’ll forgive the mental image, we already had enough crap to put up with.
Honestly though, for that attention-grabbing shenanigans to be the ONLY thing that triggered some sort of response, you were well past the too little/too late threshold.
Your people skills are abhorrent at the sales and service levels, and your corporate level customer service is merely reactionary to online “bad press” only to save face, not serve actual customer satisfaction & retention.
I actually applaud your testicular fortitude in reaching out with a customer satisfaction survey. It either takes massive ignorance or massive swagger. And you already know where I believe you fall on the scale.
I now intend to send this to every level of your corporation that has eyes. May the best of them find work elsewhere, and may the worst of them stay to drive you further into the ground than the last time you were there.
Thank you for your time, and may whatever deity you ascribe to have mercy on your soul,
I neglected to note we tipped the 2nd set of delivery guys $20 too. But, if they don’t even pretend to care about the customers, they certainly don’t care about the employees, right? While we’re on the subject… was that appropriate, or cheap? I try to check in on these things occasionally.
After Kelly Maytas at Levin left my wife a Voicemail, I got this email…
💻
Eric,
Thank you for reaching out to us and letting us know about your experience. We aim to deliver a great experience and are disheartened when we don’t. We will use your feedback to make us better.
I apologize for the inconvenience and the stress this has caused you. I personally would like to speak to you about your experience and respectfully apologize and take ownership of our failure to deliver a great experience. I know you need to rest, but at your convenience can you please give me a call at 330-###-####.
Best Regards,
Kelly Matyas
Customer Experience Manage
💻
I took the time to send this back…
💻
Thank You Ms. Maytas,
Not sure if you got just the survey response, or the email that I tried to send to a handful of people after researching names and email syntax online.
I am really not sure what you can do at this point for us.
I suggest you get your Robinson store in order… from tagging furniture properly, to sales reps understanding the product, your procedures, or setting up deliveries in a timely manner, and customer service reps that understand what apologizing really is. Only then can you maybe knock it out of the park for future customers.
We are in desperate need of a new couch, but not that desperate. I feel like your team has not only burned but nuked the proverbial bridge, and I concede that I worked on that from my side of things also. I am not a fan of phone calls, I prefer the written word. I also prefer retailers that automatically offer discounts on current or future sales without having to be asked. Again, we’re past that.
Unless you’d like to suggest a competitor that will actually deliver a quality product on time?
Good luck to you in righting the ship at Levins, as your tenacity in reaching out speaks to the fact that you will stay the course! I wish that we could have dealt with you on the store level instead of when it reached a wild level of ridiculousness (again, the online shenanigans are all on me – but it shouldn’t have taken that to garner attention).
I appreciate your time in reaching out! I like you, unlike your seemingly dimwitted and soul-crushed coworkers. Perhaps they need a pizza party or two for morale?
Comcast Remote Mascot Rubber Suit 2011 Festival of the Arts June 04, 201124 (Photo credit: stevendepolo)
We’ve all called the cable company, right? We all know the steps in the process; The unplugging, the replugging, the test signals. It descends into ridiculousness pretty quickly. So does my chat with technical support. This was after trying the unplugging/replugging solution, calling the line and getting the automates system to send a test signal to my cable box & tell me to wait a half an hour for it to take effect, and then talking to a real live person who sent the same signal, told me to wait 45 minutes for it to take effect, and managed to advertise their home phone and internet services… on a technical support call. That’s more annoying that seeing catering advertisements everywhere in Panera & Boston Market.
chat id: a543eaef-97d5-4dbf-b2ad-9222056467f0 Problem: Not all channels are displaying on 2nd cable box s/n:############. Problem has been occurring all week. I have tried the unplug/replug trick, called the 800# 2x, automated sys & operator both sent reset signal to the box to no avail. Eric > My Issue: Not all channels are displaying on 2nd cable box s/n:############. Problem has been occurring all week. I have tried the unplug/replug trick, called the 800# 2x, automated sys & operator both sent reset signal to the box to no avail. Jerand > Hello Eric, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Jerand. Please give me one moment to review your information. Jerand > Oh my, I can’t imagine myself having those equipment issues especially that cable TV is part of my daily routine, no worries, we’ll definitely work on a sure fix to resolve this one way or the other. Jerand > I’m really sorry that you have experienced this issue. Jerand > I am seeing here that you have problem in getting channels with your box, correct? Eric > Thank you Jerand. Eric > That is correct. Not all channels are displaying on my box. Eric > For example, the History Channel. (#53 regular, 876 digital.) Eric > I had a similar issue when I first installed these new HD boxes. Jerand > Are you able to see history channel in channel 46? Eric > s/n above was somehow replaced by an emoticon… actual s/n: ############ Jerand > How may boxes do you have, Eric? Eric > No, I try to see channel 46, and it takes it to 47 (AMC), still no picture. Eric > We have 2 boxes. The other one is working perfectly fine. Watching H2 right now in HD. Jerand > So you have 2 HD boxes, correct? Eric > Yes, that is correct. Jerand > Thanks for clarifying that. Jerand > I am going to perform a diagnostic check of your services and equipment. This “Health Check” verifies the current status of your equipment and you services. It should only take a minute or two for the results. Would you mind staying on the chat? Eric > No problem, Jerand. I would like this issue to be resolved tonight if possible. Jerand > Thanks for clarifying that. Jerand > I appreciate your cooperation. Jerand > Thank you. Jerand > By the way, let me share with you a very entertaining Comcast feature. Did you know you can watch many of your favorite TV shows and movies online at no additional cost with Comcast. Check out http://www.xfinitytv.com to watch the latest TV shows, relive a favorite television moment, or just relax with a movie. All you need to do is to open a browser, type http://www.xfinitytv.com and you can start to witness thousands of fascinating titles and TV shows. Eric > Thanks for your help, I look forward to the “Health Check” results. Eric > That sounds interesting, but I don’t watch much TV on my computer. Jerand > Thank you for patiently waiting. I apologize for it being longer than you expected. Jerand > I don’t see anything on your account or any outage in your area that would be causing this issue. Jerand > Can you please check on your box and see if there is any progress. Eric > Thanks Jerand. Our working cable box did cut out & come back on…but the box that’s not working is still not working. Jerand > Is that with the same box, correct? Eric > Yes, that is correct. Box ############ is still not working correctly. Jerand > Please bare with me. Eric > No problem. Jerand > Would you allow me 2-3 minutes to check on this again? Eric > Yes, be my guest. Thank you! Jerand > You are most welcome. Jerand > While waiting I want to introduce to you comcast.com, Comcast.com has an extensive series of Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) that cover all of our products. Customers do not have to sign in to access the FAQs. Quick steps to do it. Open a web browser window and go to http://customer.comcast.com/Pages/HelpNFC.aspx?id=Comcast-Help-and-Support-Cable-TV On the home page, the navigation menus are on the left side of the window and click on Customers then Help and Support. Jerand > Oh, by the way. Jerand > Are you having skipping channel issues? Eric > I’m trying chat because both of my phone calls to 1-800-XFINITY amount to being as helpful as asking my wall to fix the cable box. I’m not sure what you mean by skipping channels? Jerand > Can you please tell me what channels are you trying to watch? Eric > Thank you for informing me about the FAQ. You may want to tell your managers/superiors that it’s quite annoying to have Comcast features or other services advertised to you while you’re on chat (or on a phone line) trying to resolve a technical issue. I understand that you’re just doing your job… so I can’t get mad at you. It’s a goofy idea. Eric > I am trying to watch the History Channel. Either 53 regular definition or 875 HD. Eric > Actually, the box that WAS working fine… now has “To Be Announced” in every time slot in the guide menu. Jerand > Sorry about the the advertisement. Jerand > When you access channel 53 and 758, TCM and HISTORY HD, what can you see on the screen? Eric > Again, I understand it’s not your fault or decision, Jerand. You are trying your best to help me out. Eric > I see a black screen (with a temporary blue info box at the bottom) when I try 53 & 758. Those aren’t the correct channels for my area. Eric > 53 is the History Channel here. Eric > The menu shows that American Pickers should be on right now, but it’s a black screen. Eric > No sound. Jerand > Thanks for clarifying that. Jerand > Hold on a minute please. Jerand > This is a rare and complicated issue. Jerand > This could be a box problem. Eric > No problem. Eric > Is there a way that I can get a new box to install? Jerand > May I know the type of connector that you are using to connect the cable box to your TV? i,e. RCA(yellow, white, red), Component(blue, green, red), Coax(the same wire used to connect the box to the wall). Jerand > Correct! It is really possible. You can swap your box at your nearest local office. Eric > Component. Jerand > Do you have an HDMI wire? Eric > The TV that I’m connecting to doesn’t have an HDMI input. It’s an older flat screen with only DVI, component, & coax inputs. Eric > I am able to see some channels with no issues. 802 (local KDKA channel 2 for example) is displaying properly. Jerand > Can we follow these steps please: Jerand > 1. Locate one of the following buttons on your TV remote- Input, TV/VCR, Source. Press whichever is available. 2. Select the correct input. Please take note of the following. ***If you are using HDMI cable wire to connect the box to the TV, make sure your TV is on HDMI input. *** If coax cable, it should be on channel 3 or 4. *** If component cables (colored wires), on Video or Aux. Eric > Yes, I have the component cable connected, and the TV is on the input setting for the correct connection. Eric > Jerand, I’m really really not an idiot. I’m actually quite technically savvy. Jerand > I’ve reviewed our systems and we’ve performed the necessary troubleshooting. Obviously there is still an issue so I feel the best method is to open a ticket to report this to our technician team. Jerand > I believe this is a defective box. Jerand > You can swap this box at your nearest local office, Eric. Eric > That would be awesome, but I work on the road & don’t have time to wait at home during the day for a cable technician to visit. Can I get a box in the mail & send one back? That’s how I got the HD boxes before. Jerand > Sure! I would be glad to do that for you. Eric > I have no idea where the local Comcast office is, or if I can even get there during their operating hours. Eric > Jerand, you are a saint. Thank you for your time and persistence. Jerand > Please give me a minute to process your request. Eric > When you tell your manager/supervisor that the advertisements are annoying to customers, tell them that you need a raise. Jerand > Acknowledge, Eric. I am sorry. Eric > I think we may have a bit of a language barrier here. English isn’t your first language, is it? No matter. We’re arriving at an agreeable solution, my friend. Jerand > Acknowledged* Jerand > I am sorry for the typo, I am handling 4 customers now. Jerand > But you are my first priority. Eric > Wow, that’s a lot to handle! Thank you for your time. Jerand > There would be a $9.95 fee for shipping the box, I will do credit this amount for an inconvenience. Jerand > In order for me to validate this shipping transaction, I need to verify the account completely. For verification purposes, may I please have your account number? Eric > Thank you, sounds like a plan. Eric > Sure: ______________ Jerand > I am almost done, please give me 1 more minute. Eric > Anything for you, my friend. Jerand > Thank you for patiently waiting. I apologize for it being longer than you expected. Eric > This is the best customer service I have ever received from Comcast. Jerand > Here is your order # ______________. Jerand > You will be receiving the HD box within 3-5 business days. Eric > The people I talked to on the phone might has well have been robots. Eric > Thank you, Jerand. Good luck with your other 3 customers! Don’t forget to tell your boss that you deserve a raise. (…and that in-support advertisements are more annoying than nails on a chalkboard.) Jerand > You are most welcome. Jerand > Just a quick recap, we have check the input on your box, connections, and since we have detected that this a problem with the box we prefer to change to box. We shipped and I already credited the $9.95 shipping fee. Jerand > Just to let you know, at the end of this chat there will be a short survey. I would appreciate it if you would take a moment to complete it so we can continue to improve the service we provide to you. Jerand > Is there anything else I can help you with? I am glad to assist you further. Eric > Nope, that’s all tonight. I understand that a box is coming to my house, I will be credited the shipping charge, and that I know how to connect the box to my TV and select the correct input with the remote control. I also understand that there will be a survey. Will I get a credit on my cable bill for all the TV that I will miss in the next 3 to 5 business days while I wait for this box? Jerand > Sure, I will also make sure you will not be billed for the interval where you had no service, so no worries, this is as good as fixed. Jerand > Yes, you will be receiving that with 3-5 business days. Eric > Dude, that RULES. Eric > Thank you for your time & assistance. Jerand > You are most welcome. Jerand > Thank you for your patience and understanding as well. Jerand > Is there anything else I can help you with? I am glad to assist you further. Eric > Nope that’s all this evening, sir. Jerand > I would greatly appreciate it if you can spare a few seconds to take the survey. Your favorable answer will inspire us to continue improving our service. Once you click on “EXIT CHAT” it is located on the upper-right corner of the chat box, you can now “TAKE SURVEY” highlighted in red. I am glad that I was able to Resolved your issue, there is no additional steps needed. Your feedback would mean alot to me. Eric > Rock n’ roll! \m/ I’ll give you high scores on the feedback. Jerand > You are most welcome. Jerand > I appreciate your cooperation. Jerand > Take care of yourself for me. Jerand > Don’t forget the survey! Jerand > Thank you for contacting Comcast! We appreciate your business and value you as a customer! If you need assistance in the future, please do not hesitate to contact us through Live Chat or E-mail (available 24 hours a day, 7days a week). Comcast also offers great FAQ and Help forums located at http://customer.comcast.com/help-and-support/ to help you solve many issues on your own. You can also reach us through our Hotline 1-800-9346489 or 1-800-XFINITY. To close the chat, please click the exit chat or end session button now. You take good care always and have a wonderful night! Eric > You too, my friend, you too!
Outsourced (film) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Apparently being a smartass can save you a couple of bucks off of your cable bill. It never hurts to ask, right? I could break down so many of those responses & analyze them… but I thought it was a fun conversation as a whole.
I took a survey afterwards, & left this in the comment box:
I had to call 1-800-XFINITY twice, then do a chat to get a resolution. Jerand who was the last to chat with me was an exemplary employee… despite what I perceived as a slight language barrier. Your tech support shouldn’t pretend they’re in the US when they’re not. Jerand is the man. Give him a raise.
Also… STOP WITH THE ADVERTISEMENTS WHILE I’M TRYING TO GET A TECHNICAL ISSUE RESOLVED. It’s annoying, insulting, and aggravating. Why would I want to order more services form a company that can’t provide me with ONE service that works properly?
Well, sort of. The buzz around town on the news & radio lately has been about a survey by a GPS data company called INRIX that calls the sweet spot from Greentree to the Fort Pitt tunnels on the Parkway West here in the ‘Burgh the worst traffic outside of New York or Los Angeles. Read the Post-Gazette article for all the juicy details. Here’s an excerpt…
According to INRIX, it takes an average of 13 minutes — nine more than it should — to traverse that stretch. That doesn’t count the time it takes to get there, as morning backups now routinely spill well down the back side of Green Tree Hill and sometimes past Carnegie.
At a delay of nine minutes a day, for a regular commuter that works out to about 36 hours a year down the rat hole, just for the morning rush. According to INRIX, drivers on the 10 worst U.S. corridors may squander up to 60 hours a year stuck in traffic.
Those who while away their mornings in the daily tangle might be inclined to dream of a wider Parkway West or new tunnels drilled through Mount Washington, but financial and topographic realities make that a bit like yearning for world peace.
Flying Tunnel Monster (by Eric Yano / Valley of Steel)
And here was the letter to MythBusters & Dirty Jobs, that didn’t get a reply from anyone…
From: Waldo Lunar <world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com> Date: Mon, Feb 27, 2012 Subject: The Pittsburgh Tunnel Monster (Mythbusters & Dirty Jobs team-up?) To: jamie@m5industries.com, mythbusters@m5industries.com, adam@adamsavage.com, info@mikeroweworks.com, torybelleci@gmail.com, swift@buchwald.com Cc: info@beyondaction.com.au
Dear Duke of Dirt and Sultans of Science (or Emperors of Explosions?),
I’m a big fan of both of your shows, I believe that I have been watching since the first season of each, and have seen almost all (if not all) of the collective episodes. My wife & I enjoy the Saturday morning/afternoon marathon runs of each, sometimes they prevent us for doing anything productive (except learning while being entertained of course) for most of the day. My favorite Dirty Jobs moment has to be an early one… where Mike was at the charcoal factory & asking the guy how you can burn it after it has already been burned and the guy either didn’t know the answer or comprehend the question and started to get irate. It set the tone for the rest of the series! Of course I love all the dirty gross stuff like expressing the anal glands during pet grooming… who knew? Having worked an assembly line myself, I really appreciate that you manage to shed light on jobs that most people never even think about (or know existed). With Mythbusters, I don’t know how to pick a favorite… I loved the ninja & pirate myths, the ancient mirror laser thing, all of the movie scene recreations (or attempted recreations), the many abuses of Buster, and for some odd reason… the car filled entirely with A/B foam.
If I’m not watching the Discovery Network, I’m over on the History Channel. My wife likes to remind me that we have about 200 other channels. I don’t need them, really.
I first attempted this (intentionally humorous) pitch to the people over at history with MonsterQuest or MysteryQuest in my sights. I had assumed I’d receive some sort of “Yeah, whatever goofball” type of reply. Sadly I have not received any reply at all.
The more I thought about it, I feel that this is a serious subject. It would work for Mythbusters… not sure how you could word the myth… but basically your task would be to get to the bottom of seemingly inexplicable tunnel traffic/congestion. You could look at how people slow down when approaching, how throwing a roadside distraction (like a car accident) in there would effect things?
As for Mr. Rowe, I’m sure that working in a tunnel is a dirty job. There are nightly cleanings/work in the Liberty tubes some times… and someone sets out traffic cones every day for the changing of a lane’s direction when going into/coming out of the tunnel. I’m also guessing that being a Mythbuster (or one of their crew) is a dirty job. Pittsburgh is a little Hollywood lately, why not capitalize on it by coming to check out our little town? I know Grant & Tori were at the Zabmelli firework factory in New Castle once!
Did you see the incredibly forced Pawn Stars/American Pickers/American Restoration crossover? You guys could do way better than that, and it would be unscripted.
Here’s the meat of my original email…
I believe that we have a monster in the Pittsburgh area that you may want to check out. It’s affectionately referred to as the Tunnel Monster. People in the southwestern Pennsylvania area live in a great fear of the Tunnel Monster. Many yinzer drivers slow down as they approach any area tunnel… but most especially the Fort Pitt Tunnels, Liberty “Tubes”, and the Squirrel Hill Tunnels. I’ve heard theories that the tunnel monster also perhaps takes shelter in one or all of the three rivers when not lurking in the tunnel.
Fear seems to increase in times of rain, snow, and (perhaps strangely) before sporting events, holiday festivities, and large concerts. I believe we have weekday tunnel anxiety between 7:00am & 9:00am, and again from 2:00pm to 7:00pm at all tunnels. I’ve never heard a first-hand account of an actual sighting, but it’s clear that there is something strange happening at these locations. There are also spikes of Tunnel Monster fear when traffic accidents happen nearby. Perhaps the tunnel monster feeds on broken down cars, flat tires, or the corpses left in the wake of fatal accidents? Rubberneckers seem to be ripe for the picking also.
I have personally seen 18-wheelers get to the entrance of a tunnel and turn completely around, most likely out of fear of the tunnel monster perhaps lurking within the yellow-hued florescent-lit man made caverns. Some people go through the entire length of a tunnel holding their breath so the tunnel monster doesn’t steal it, or honking their horn the entire way to scare it off. I’ve seen motorcycles and ambulances go right down the center line at accelerated speeds, no doubt trying to avoid a tragic end. I’ve even heard of people tapping the roof of their car when spotting a Padiddle to ward off the evil tunnel monster. The theory perhaps being that the tunnel monster is on the hood of the other car, and its webbed fin (a paddle or “padiddle”) is blocking one headlight.
I have seen strange markings on the inside of they Liberty Tunnels, but they have since been covered-over. They were strange numbers and hieroglyphic-like symbols that appeared right before a construction project. Do you think the crews working in the tunnel are in any danger? Perhaps it’s a conspiracy? Are they in there hunting for the tunnel monster under the guise of construction efforts while they cover up the monster’s cave paintings? Could the monster be some sort of Neanderthal, or perhaps a supernatural being, or some sort of demon?
There are countless videos on YouTube documenting fearless drives through the Fort Pitt Tunnels, but I don’t believe that any concrete video evidence has been recorded. I have attached some artist renderings of the Tunnel Monster that I have found on the internet. Perhaps you would like your experts to interview the area residents and come up with your own?
I really would like someone to get to the bottom of this Tunnel Monster thing, and I believe that Monster Quest is perfectly suited for the job! Thank you for your time, I hope to hear from you soon!
So, now you know where my thought process has gone, & how it has developed. I’d love your consideration for this idea. Please don’t make me turn to TV shows that I don’t watch like Billy the Exterminator or Dog the Bounty Hunter.
Thank you for your time, I look forward to hearing from you!
Not afraid of the Tunnel Monster,
-Waldo Lunar
I tried message boards, email addresses, all kinds of outlets… all to no avail. Party poopers.
It’s great to see the results, and I can’t wait to see where & how they’re put to use. It’s also great that all of our comments were passed along with the report, so rest assured that your voice has been heard thanks to Paul. Hopefully it lays groundwork for more gub’ment organizations to follow by example! (Although, we need to push from a consumer level too.)
My take on the results… it looks like we’re all looking for everyone in the restaurant from kitchen to wait staff to managers to be trained in food allergies and cross-contamination and possibly even certified… which seems like a no-brainer. Even if that’s all we get, it’s a great start.
Employee answering phone needs to be knowledgeable: 1
Apparently, I’m the only one who wants the person answering the phone to know what they’re talking about. Ha ha. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to define shellfish on the phone, or ask if they have any only to get there after being told no… and they totally do. Perhaps it’s shame on me for not asking to talk to a manager… but the person answering the phone ought to be knowledgeable enough to hand-off such questions, so I stand by my statement.
Cross contamination: (42 responses)
Understands and avoids cross-contamination: 21
Separate and cleaned prep areas and cookware: 20
Should wash hands: 1
Who said they should wash their hands? Seriously? I hope they’re doing that anyway… and that they don’t really need those signs in the restroom as a reminder.
Treats ALL allergies the same, not just the Big 8: 1
Apparently I’m the lone theorist there. Really? Well, I’m in the Top 8 category, so I guess… yo hell with the rest of you! Ha ha.
No nuts strewn about the restaurant: 1
This one agitates me. If it’s part of the restaurant’s shtick/ambiance/personality… then just give it up. I like being able to walk into Five Guys and grab a tray of peanuts. I don’t expect (or want) to dine at Long John Silvers or Red Lobster any time soon.
Specific allergen menus available in-house (not just online): 13
Allergen symbol list on menus: 12
Online food allergy menu: 4
All excellent points. I’ve blogged about the need for menu symbols before. Let’s get this done, people!
Ability to print out all ingredients for customer / show labels to customer if necessary: 11
Great idea. A representative from Bob Evans once emailed me a chart detailing where everything was cooked in the kitchen & what surfaces would be safe with my shellfish allergy while they has a seasonal Shrimp stir-fry dish. How cool is that?
At any rate, read the Blog at AllergyEats, and leave some feedback whether you participated in the original survey or not… it’s still valuable. I’d also appreciate any comments here. I’m sure the peanut thing will get some people riled up. Ha ha.
As a follow up to that… We filled out & mailed tn the census, then someone came knocking on our door informing us that we didn’t in fact fill out the census and return it in time. My wife ended up answering all their questions a second time.
As to why I think this a continuation of this census malarkey… the pattern of insanity is the same. A week or so ago, we got a letter in the mail warning us that a follow up survey to the census was coming, and that we’re obligated by law to fill out this survey. We received the American Community Survey. The FAQ pamphlet accompanying the survey evokes Title 13, U.S Code, Sections 141 and 193 – and it goes on to say “Title 13, as changed by Title 18, imposes a penalty for not responding”. How “land of the free” does that sound?
The scary part is that the pamphlet later says “We may combine your answers with information that you gave other agencies to enhance the statistical use of these data.” Other agencies? Like the IRS? Are you going to make sure all my numbers match up? Is this a lead-in to an audit?
The survey itself actually contains the word “Negro” in the race section. It says “Black, African Am., Negro” and it only says “White” not caucasian or European or aryan or any other dumb name. I thought “Negro” was offensive as of the 80’s. Why doe sit matter if I’m of Hispanic origin? Why doesn’t it ask then & there if I’m Swedish, or French, or Irish, or Indian, or Hungarian, or Italian, or Arabic?
Why does it matter how I get to work? Why do they need to know how many people are in my car on the way to work? Am I going to be forced to carpool, or pay a “driving alone to work” tax? Why do they need my work address, or my wife’s work address, or how much we make a year? Shouldn’t the government already know that?
Did my neighbors get this? The data for everyone on this street would be totally and wholly different from ours. I’m not a great representation of the overall neighborhood.
Next time, will we include fingerprints and a hair follicle or cheek swab for DNA cataloging?
I call shenanigans on the whole thing. It’s a ludicrous waste of money and resources. In addition to the plethora of reminders and follow-ups to the original census… I got the warning letter for this survey, and accompanying the survey itself was a letter (that mentioned that we already should have received a letter about the letter we are reading), a 16-page “guide” on how to fill out the survey, a glossy “FAQ” brochure, and the return envelope.
In case I went over it too fast just now… I’d like to just focus on this one thing for a moment.
We got a letter (we’ll call it letter 1) telling us that a survey was coming and that we were obligated by law to fill it out. Then, we got the survey along with another letter (we’ll call it letter 2) telling us that we should have gotten a letter telling us that the survey was coming, and explaining that the big fold-over in the envelope that says “American Community Survey” is a survey that we need to fill out, expressing that it’s required by law.
I’m sure well get a follow up letter (if I get it, I’ll call it letter 3) saying that we should have received a survey and by now filled it out, as required by law. This just sounds like something that belongs in a Monty Python sketch.
Ah, I may also get a reminder card. I forgot about the reminder card.
I have a hard time believing that I’m going to benefit in any way from this survey, but I’m guessing only time will tell.
I didn’t forget. There was a guide that accompanied the survey. I’m guessing that if I couldn’t understand the questions in the survey… the guide’s not going to help me out all that much. I’d love to meet the think-tank that comes up with this brilliance. You know it’s a committee or group… no one person would or could be responsible for this kind of crap on their own. Poking around their website, it appears that a shocking amount of time and research has been dedicated to this task.
How are the tree-huggers not all over this wasteful paper usage? I mean, the waste here offends me… and I’m still not convinced that recycling is all that efficient in the first place. I mean, there is a reason to conserve what resources we have, and make sure that when they’re used it’s somewhat necessary. (A letter telling you that you’re going to get a survey, a letter saying you should have already received a letter and that you now have in your possession a survey, and a letter saying that you’ve already received a survey that you should have filled out would all be unnecessary in my book.)
Is this all just a ploy to keep the Post Office in business?
I just may have to write to some politicians and ask about all the waste associated with this whole thing. In the past I’ve heard from Gov. Ed. Rendell and Senator Wayne Fontana. Maybe I’ll have to reach out to them again with my concerns.
I need to collect my thoughts & start sending letters to people in the government to let them know what I think. Will it do any good? Probably not, using the redundancy and bureaucracy of the census surveys as an example. At the end of the day it may make me feel better if nothing else, as I’m still able to speak my mind.
The more I see/read the word census, the more it sounds like senseless.
Cut out the paper waste for a second, and think just about the time wasted. If you did this kind of crap at work, can you imagine what your superiors would have to say about your productivity and efficiency? Yet, we accept this from the government.
Hey Gilligan,
This is an email to say that I’m going to send you an email to ask you a question.
Hello again Gilligan,
This is the email where I’m going to ask the question. You should have already received the email where I told you that I was going to ask you a question.
The question is: Do you like coconuts?
The Skipper wants an answer, he’ll be mad if you don’t tell us. If we knew if you liked coconuts, it might help Mary Ann in preparing dinner. We know you’ve already talked to the Professor about island cuisine, so we may factor that into our decision.
Dear Gilligan,
I have sent you an email asking about your thoughts on coconuts, the Skipper wanted us to remind you that you were already supposed to have answered the coconut question.
Now. How ridiculous is that?
Oh well, it’s late… I’ve jumped all over the map and page with this as I’ve searched the internet for these documents and more questions and what not, and feel that I’m losing coherence… not that I definitely have any in the first place. I’m lost in all the letters about other letters about other letters about other letters Maybe I need to write blogs telling you that I’m going to write blogs, then write a reminder blog that I wrote a blog.
Materials Included in ACS Mailings
World (and Lunar) Domination 