Italian …Subwich? Submursible?


This is becoming a trend. I want to make a sandwich and don’t have the appropriate bread or bun. Thankfully, this lack of planning for a meatball sub brought forth the almighty Meatball Club (the Meatball Melt isn’t bad either). This was not a bad alternative, if I do say so myself.

Did you get yourself a The Meatball Club T-shirt yet? Maybe I should trademark that.

I made some of my grilled chicken noodle soup that we had with a salad for dinner last night. I had some leftovers for lunch today and wanted a lil’ sandwich to go with it. Not much beats a local mom n’ pop pizza shop Italian Sub. I had some almost sort of close enough ingredients in the house, so I crafted my own.

In my humble opinion, the key to a great local sub shop Italian Sub is the toasting. The second key is to call it a sub and not a hoagie, grinder, hero or whatever other word yinz have for it. Maybe this would be less a Subwich and more a Submersible?

I didn’t have a sub roll, but I did have the super cheap hamburger buns. That worked, because it was lunch time and I didn’t need a foot long sandwich anyway.

A grilled Italian Sub sandwich made on a toasted burger bun, sitting atop a white plate, featuring melted cheese and ridiculous meats.
The Italian …Subwich?

Here’s what I did…

I preheated the oven to 400ยฐ and gathered all my stuff.

I melted some butter & EVOO with garlic powder, onion powder, & Italian seasoning in the microwave in a microwave safe bowl.

I spread the butter on the insides of the bun, sprinkled on a tiny bit of shake cheese, and toasted it inside up in the oven for 5 minutes on a sheet pan.

I took it out and poured some Sweet Italian Dressing on the inside of both buns.

I stacked the cold cuts, cheese, & veggies like this from the bottom up on the bottom bun: Turkey, hard salami, provolone cheese, ham, hard salami, jarred roasted red peppers, sliced black olives, shredded Parmesan from a tub,

I put a slice of provolone on the inside of the top bun.

I put it back in the oven for 6 minutes.

I took it out & assembled the sandwich.

I brushed a little more melted butter/spices on the top, and put it back in… this time on convection at 350ยฐ for two minutes because why not?

I bought it out and it definitely gave me mom n’ pop pizza shop vibes. Those slightly burnt edges make it kick.

My wife likes the Roasted Red Pepper Italian dressing & some mayo on hers. If you’re going to comment that you don’t like back olives, can’t eat roasted red peppers, or would add onions, lettuce, & tomato… I’ll lift the weight off of your shoulders and ask how you’d make this yours?

If you are here to say bread, meat, or cheese are not for you and/or ask what you can substitute, I’ll say “Bean Soup” to you.

I asked Gemini to pull out an ingredient list, and it did this whole ass thing, so I’ll paste it all below for the “jump to the recipe” crowd. It’s funny how it says to slice the bun like this isn’t the ~$1 pack of 8 from Aldi. It does know what “shake cheese” is though. Do other people call it that, or just me? It adds some wild stuff all inferred from my text above.

Ingredients

This is for one sandwich, but is easily scalable for a crowd!

The Butter Brush & Dressing

  • 1 Sub Bun (or your favorite hoagie roll)
  • 2 Tbsp Butter (unsalted or salted)
  • 1 Tbsp Extra Virgin Olive Oil (EVOO)
  • 1/2 tsp Garlic Powder
  • 1/2 tsp Onion Powder
  • 1/2 tsp Italian Seasoning
  • 2-3 Tbsp Sweet Italian Dressing (or another vinaigrette of your choice)
  • 1-2 tsp “Shake Cheese” (the grated Parmesan from a container)

The Filling

  • 2 Slices Provolone Cheese
  • 3-4 Slices Turkey (deli slices)
  • 3-4 Slices Ham (deli slices)
  • 6-8 Slices Hard Salami (layered)
  • 2 Tbsp Jarred Roasted Red Peppers (drained)
  • 1 Tbsp Sliced Black Olives
  • 1-2 Tbsp Shredded Parmesan (from a tub, for texture)

Wife’s Variation (Optional)

  • Roasted Red Pepper Italian Dressing
  • Mayonnaise

Instructions

1. Preheat and Prep the Butter

  • Preheat your oven to 400ยฐF.
  • In a microwave-safe bowl, melt the butter and EVOO together.
  • Stir in the garlic powder, onion powder, and Italian seasoning. Set aside.

2. Toast the Bun

  • Slice your bun open and lay both halves on a sheet pan, inside-up.
  • Brush a generous layer of the seasoned butter mix onto the insides of both buns.
  • Sprinkle the insides with a tiny bit of the “shake cheese”.
  • Toast the buns in the oven for 5 minutes, or until the edges are just starting to brown.

3. Build the Base

  • Remove the buns from the oven.
  • Pour a drizzle of the Sweet Italian Dressing onto the inside of both bunsโ€”don’t saturate it, just a light coat.
  • On the bottom bun, stack the cold cuts, cheese, and veggies in this order:
    • Turkey
    • Hard Salami
    • One Slice of Provolone Cheese
    • Ham
    • Hard Salami
    • Jarred Roasted Red Peppers
    • Sliced Black Olives
    • Shredded Parmesan
  • Place the second slice of provolone cheese directly on the inside of the top bun (it will act as a shield and melt beautifully).

4. Melt and Warm

  • Put both halves of the sandwich (still separate) back in the oven for 6 minutes, or until the cheese is melted and bubbling.
  • Carefully remove the sheet pan and assemble the sandwich by placing the top bun onto the bottom.

5. The Final Kick

Take it out, slice it, and enjoy!

Brush a little more of the remaining melted butter/spices right onto the top crust of the sandwich.

(Optional, but highly recommended) Turn the oven to Convection at 350ยฐF and pop the sandwich back in for 2 minutes. This gives you those amazing, slightly crispy, burnt edges that make the sandwich sing.

Oh yeah, did you see the soup?

…And what should I call this?

While we’re at it, which local pizza shop or deli makes your favorite Italian Sub? More than one answer is OK!

Just a bit of effort for quick meals?


I really like to make my own meatballs. Sometimes there store bought frozen ones are fine. Sometimes you intend to have a meatball sub, and end up making a meatball club. (I like my meatballs with lasagna & in wedding soup too.)

The other day we needed a quick dinner so frozen meatballs it was. Still gotta make it good though, right? I like a toasted sandwich bun…. with meatball subs, meatball clubs, pulled pork BBQ, chipped ham BBQ, sloppy Joes, & more.

Oven-toasted meatball sub sliced in half on a small round white plate, served atop a warm wooden surface. The sub roll is stuffed with frozen meatballs, rich tomato sauce, black olive slices, and a gooey blend of melted provolone and mozzarella cheese, lightly browned from broiling. The filling spills slightly from the cut edges, showcasing a rustic, hearty presentation... but also calling to the great eldritch god Cthulhu climbing out of the sea.
Ooey Gooey Toasty Meatball Sub

I had ChatGPT help me format my recipe from my ramblings…

Cheesy Meatball Subs with Garlic-Herb Toasted Buns
Servings: 2 | Prep: 10 min | Cook: 15โ€“20 min

Ingredients:

  • 8 frozen meatballs
  • 2 sub rolls
  • 2โ€“3 tbsp butter, melted
  • ยฝ tsp garlic powder
  • ยฝ tsp onion powder
  • ยฝ tsp Italian seasoning
  • 1 tsp parsley
  • 1 cup jarred marinara sauce
  • 1 tsp brown sugar (optional)
  • 2 tbsp grated Parmesan or Romano cheese (plus extra for topping)
  • Black pepper, to taste
  • 4โ€“6 sliced black olives (plus extra for topping)
  • 2 slices provolone cheese
  • ยผ cup shredded mozzarella

Instructions:

  1. Cook the meatballs according to package instructions.
  2. Preheat oven to 357ยฐF (180ยฐC). Mix melted butter with garlic powder, onion powder, Italian seasoning, and parsley. Slice rolls and brush the butter mixture onto the cut sides. Sprinkle with Parmesan/Romano and some sliced black olives. Toast for 5 minutes.
  3. Warm marinara in a small saucepan over medium heat. Stir in brown sugar, Parmesan/Romano, Italian seasoning, and black pepper. Taste and adjust seasoning.
  4. Place 4 meatballs per bun. Spoon sauce over the meatballs. Add additional olives, provolone slice, and shredded mozzarella.
  5. Return assembled subs to the oven for 5 minutes until cheese is melted and bubbly.
  6. Let cool slightly, then serve and enjoy!

Apparently canned black olives are polarizing here according to social media. Would roasted red peppers be acceptable? What about sauteed green peppers or onions? Mushrooms?

What do you do to spice up your quick go-to meals? What do you like on your subs? Yes, I put sugar in jarred marinara sauce. Tell your Nonna to calm down with the carrots and the baking soda. I like the sweetness and the acidity cut. I also use jarred minced garlic occasionally.

Quick Edit to add, had these for lunch today with the leftovers:

Ya gotta do it up however you can with what you’ve got!

Will Teriyaki Tenacity Lead to Teriyaki Triumph?


This morning, I was emboldened by a comment on an old blog post where I drew a maze and sent it to Conagra to accuse them of lying to the people about discontinuing their delicious Teriyaki sauce in favor of pushing a gross one filled with seeds.

Commenter Cory told me that there is a Change.org petition to bring it back. My most-likely delusional headcanon is that I definitely got Totino’s to change their microwave instructions. So, of course, we will push this forward so I can restore my Teriyaki stuff to its former glory. Here, we double-down on things that really have no consequence or significance. This is World (and Lunar) Domination.

The closest thing I have found is the Essential Everyday brand that I got from Shop ‘n Save, and there are always rumors of them closing and becoming yet another Giant Eagle.

If you’re also a fan of inconsequential chaos and delicious Teriyaki, please follow the saga, and sign the petition!

Others have awakened:

Also, try to solve the maze, and post in the comments or post it & tag me (& Conagra) on social media!

Stuffed Cabbage Recipe


So, recently I was hungry for stuffed cabbage. I had never made it before, so after Googling a few recipes and soliciting advice from a Facebook food group and Nextdoor, I came up with my own. You can put this URL into Just The Recipe or do the Cooked Wiki “hack” to skip all my bullshit up here.

I’m not a huge fan of rice in meatballs like you typically see with stuffed peppers or stuffed cabbage, so I was googling recipes without it and kept finding stuffed tagged as “keto,” or with other grains substituted in. I think it’s a texture thing for me, so I opted to go my own route. Also, get out of here with your sweet/hot sausage, I’ll add my own spices. Keep your veal/beef/pork mixes. Maybe ground turkey would be cool. Keep the lamb away.

It seems that many are tied to their family’s traditional way of making it, and that’s pretty cool. I always thought of it as an Eastern European type dish, but lots of cultures have their own spin & own words for it according to Wikipedia. The thought of omitting rice, or using condensed tomato soup instead of a tomato sauce or V8 sent some people into a tizzy. I even learned that lots of people include sauerkraut, and some people like it served with sour cream. Some people make it like a casserole. We always had the tomato soup version growing up, so that’s what I like/expected. Who knew? I’ll probably make it different next time… but both kids & the wife liked it, so I won’t experiment too much.

I used glass baking dishes covered with foil, but got advice that a roasting pan, an electric roaster, the crock pot, a Dutch oven, a soup pot on the stove, or a pressure cooker all work well, too.

Although, I would like to wrap a piece of bacon around the rolls and throw them on the smoker…

At any rate, check out the recipe, and give me your recipes. tips, tricks, advice, and heavily guarded family recipe secrets in the comments.

Also – What do you call them?

Here’s what I did. ๐Ÿคท

Get It:

  • 1 head of cabbage.
  • 4-ish lbs. of ground beef. (I used 3 lbs of 8/20 & 1 lb. of 90/10)
  • 2 eggs
  • ยฝ Yellow Bell Pepper
  • ยฝ Spanish Onion
  • 1 cup shredded carrots (I bought a bag and I’ll use it for other stuff too.)
  • 1 beef bullion cube
  • 1 stick of butter
  • 3 23.2 oz. cans condensed Tomato Soup
  • Bread crumbs (Do I look like I measure stuff? Probably a cup and a half?)
  • Shredded Parmesan Cheese (in the ‘lil fancy container by the expensive cheese)
  • Minced Garlic (just have the jar ready I’m lazy and don’t crush/mince my own)
  • Spices. I used salt, black pepper, white pepper, onion powder, garlic powder, Season All, & Table Blend. (I just throw it on at every step indiscriminately with complete abandon and total anarchy.)

Do it:

  1. Preheat Your oven to 400ยฐ.
  2. Get a stock pot, fill it enough to cover your cabbage. Drop in the bullion cube, and salt, minced garlic, and whatever seasoning your heart desires, and crank it to high with the lid on.
  3. Chop your onion in half. Toss half in the boiling water, but take the lid off first & then put it back on.
  4. Mince the rest of the onion.
  5. Cut up the yellow pepper. Feed half to your kids, the dog, or your significant other. Or just eat it. That’s the perk of being the cook. Mince the other half.
  6. Pull out a handful of the minced carrots, a big knife, and what them up until they are tiny pieces of shredded carrots. Our dog loves carrots, so I sprinkled some on her food bowl.
  7. I greased 3 glass baking dishes with the stick of butter. I used a 9″x13″, an 8″x9″, & a 9″x9″ because that’s what I had. I swear we broke like 3 glass dishes last summer.
  8. Melt what can surely be described as an obscene amount of butter in a skillet and sautรฉ the onion, then the pepper & carrots on medium heat. I was sure to hit them with onion powder, garlic powder, salt, & pepper. I like to cook onions slow & low.
  9. Drop the head of cabbage in your now boiling water while you’re doing all that. Yes, remove but do not replace the lid.
  10. Put the sautรฉed veggies aside and let them cool a bit while you get the meat mixture ready.
  11. Set up a colander or strainer over a large bowl, & get your tongs ready.
  12. Beat your eggs, & add spices.
  13. Mix the meat, eggs, breadcrumbs, some cheese, sautรฉed veggies, some minced garlic, and lots of spices. I do it by hand. I wash my hands very well before & after, so you probably should too. But hey, you do you.
  14. By this time, hopefully your cabbage has been boiling 10-ish minutes. Use tongs to gently peel one leaf at a time and place it lovingly in your colander. Don’t go too quick with it and splash/burn yourself, because I would definitely never ever do that.
  15. Open the cans of tomato soup and cover the bottom of your baking dishes.
  16. Get the leaf, cut out the bottom tough part of the leaf rib if so inclined, slap in your meat mixture, and wrap it like a burrito – folding in the ends part way through. I didn’t measure, I eyeballed the meat to leaf ratio.
  17. Fill the baking dish(es), pour on & season the rest of the condensed tomato soup, sprinkle on some more parmesan cheese, cover in foil, and bake for an hour.

Tips/Lessons Learned/Parting Thoughts:

  • I was going to bake it at 375ยฐ and I probably should have, taking the foil off for the last 15 min. They were well over the recommended 160ยฐ internal temp for ground beef. Maybe some browning/caramelizing would not be a bad thing?
  • I saw a lot of tips for freezing the cabbage instead of boiling it, but I also read just as many responses saying that it can drastically affect the texture and not in a good way.
  • I may put in back next time. Maybe inside? Maybe wrapped outside?
  • Hear me out… Reuben cabbage rolls. Corned beef? Sauerkraut? Thousand Island or Russian dressing? Rye breadcrumbs? (We make non-traditional stuffed peppers sometimes, too.)
  • If you like rice, by all means include it. Or barley, or any other grain. I considered those tiny lil’ pasta balls… but maybe I just like to say Acini de Pepe way too much. Some people recommended cauliflower rice, also.
  • Check out all my other recipes and let me know what you think!
  • I got some thoughts from more tips & feedback when I posted photos on the FB food group & Nextdoor, too.
  • Are you still reading? Check out the recipe, and give me your recipes. tips, tricks, advice, and heavily guarded family recipe secrets in the comments.

The Meatball Club


So, yesterday I made spaghetti with homemade meatballs.โ€‚Today, I wanted a meatball sub.โ€‚I was thinking I still had some good buns from New Year’s day.โ€‚They were not good.โ€‚I had already melted the butter.โ€‚The store-brand white bread was calling to me.โ€‚A sandwich?โ€‚No, a club..,โ€‚Something worthy of shenanigans.

The Meatball Club:  A double-decker meatball sandwich on toasted white bread, teeming with tasty sauce & melted Gruyere and Swiss cheese.
Behold:โ€‚The Meatball Club

It seemed to be a hit on various social media platforms, so I thought I’d share the love.โ€‚If you make one, please, post the photo, tag me (@AiXelsyD13 on just about everything), and let me know how it was!

The Meatballs:

I have shared my meatball ingredient secrets a quadruple of times:

I generally don’t measure, and make them different every time.โ€‚This time I fried them on medium-high in a large pan on the stove & a tiny bit of EVOO.

The Sauce:โ€‚

OK, gonna level with you.โ€‚I am not Italian.โ€‚This is going to make some people mad.โ€‚I use jarred sauce.โ€‚This was the cheap Aldi stuff.โ€‚Usually we get that or the Prego Three Cheese.โ€‚I add brown sugar & Parmesan/Romano shake cheese.โ€‚Sometimes, I even add shopped garlic, onion powder, or “Italian Seasoning.”โ€‚This time it was just brown sugar and cheese.โ€‚I don’t measure.โ€‚I toss a little in with abandon.โ€‚I like the sweetness & it cuts the acid.

The Club:

Get your stuff…

  • ยผ stick butter
  • Garlic powder
  • Onion powder
  • Parsley or (Italian Seasoning)
  • 6 or so leftover meatballs.
  • Shredded cheese (I had Gruyere & Swiss, but I would probably go for Mozzarella or Provolone, but the stuff I had was fantastic.)
  • “Shake Cheese” I had the cheap Giant Eagle brand Parmesan/Romano blend.
  • Three pieces of white bread.

Do it…

  1. Pre-heat the oven to 390ยฐ on the air fryer setting.
  2. Melt the butter w/ garlic powder, onion powder, & parsley to taste in a microwave save bowl in 30 second intervals, stirring in between until it’s a liquid.
  3. Put the bread on a baking dish, brush on the melted butter after a good stir.โ€‚(I just did the top sides.)
  4. Air fry for 2 minutes, & it gets almost crispy on top, the bottom was nice and toasted.
  5. While you’re doing that nuke the meatballs & sauce on a microwave safe plate for 2 min. (or longer if needed.)
  6. Pull the toast out.โ€‚(I cut the meatballs in half with a spoon then scooped them and the sauce on to two of the slices of bread.)
  7. Top the meatballs with the shredded cheese.
  8. Put the “shake cheese” on the 3rd slice of bread.
  9. Put it back in on air fry for for 4 or 5 minutes.
  10. Pull it out, assemble it like a tower of gluttony, then slice it diagonally with a giant serrated bread knife for dramatic effect.
  11. Take a photo to share & make people hungry.

That’s it.โ€‚It took a little bit of time & prep, but it was worth it.

Notes:

  • If you cook & have your own meatball or sauce recipe, of course do that.
  • Use whatever kind of cheese you want, shredded, or sliced, or whatever.
  • I would guess you can use the oven on 375ยฐ-ish on a regular setting for a bit longer times, or a counter top air fryer.
  • You could also probably do all of it in the air fryer from cooking the meatballs to melting the butter if you have the appropriate vessels.
  • If you slice it in rectangles and not triangles, you are a psychopath.

Discussion:

  • If you’re out of sausage or sub buns, or hot dog buns, what are you using?โ€‚Pita?โ€‚Tortilla?โ€‚Soft Pretzel?โ€‚Dinner Rolls?โ€‚Bisquick?โ€‚Crescent roll dough?
  • Please, tell me in the comments how wrong it is to use jarred sauce or add brown sugar.
  • Share with me your meatball secrets.
  • Do you like the powdery shake cheese or the fancy stuff?
  • Do you make a forbidden sandwich?โ€‚What is it?
  • Is this a Meatball Club, or a Meatball Melt?

This is why I had leftover meatballs:

Conagra Ruins Christmas.


Well, the tweets from before were apparently incorrect.โ€‚The La Choy teriyaki variety that I liked has been discontinued.โ€‚I emailed Conagra via webform and found a bunch of names and tried to garner email addresses online, which worked on at least 2 counts.โ€‚I also got some replies from various grocery stores.

No one tried the maze though.โ€‚You read my email, right?

Here are my replies from Conagra:

From: Conagra Consumer Care consumer.care@conagra.com
Date: Tue, Dec 19, 2023 at 1:03โ€ฏPM
Subject: LA CHOY Consumer Care Response: Case # 06631637 [ ref:!00D800cIJR.!500QU02afd0:ref ]
To: [me]

Hello Eric,

Thank you so much for taking the time to reach out to us regarding the La Choy Teriyaki Sauce. There was obvious passion in your correspondence, both for the former product you preferred and for the current product that does not meet your expectations. Weโ€™d like to offer some background and what we hope is a worthy alternative.

Previously we produced both the La Choy Teriyaki Marinade and Sauce that you enjoyed, and the La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade. With two similar sauces available, earlier this year we discontinued production of the La Choy Teriyaki Marinade and Sauce. We work with grocery stores and other retail partners to optimize our product assortment. Through these conversations, we often need to make decisions about discontinuing products. These are difficult decisions, as we know a discontinued product can be a disappointment to consumers.

We appreciate your candid feedback on the current La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade. This feedback was shared with our brand team and will go to our internal culinary team as well. Every piece of consumer input is valuable to us.

Within the Conagra Brands portfolio, we also offer PF Changโ€™s Home Menu, and we hope their Teriyaki Sauce is one that youโ€™ll enjoy. PF Changโ€™s Home Menu is inspired by the tastes and high-quality ingredients of PF Changโ€™s bistros. The Teriyaki Sauce is part of a collection of sauces we introduced a few years ago, and if youโ€™re interested in trying it, weโ€™d be happy to send you a few bottles. If this would be ok, please reply to this email with your complete mailing address, and if applicable, please include the Unit or Apt. #.

Thank you again for your loyalty to the La Choy brand and the time you spent providing us feedback. Both are appreciated.

Sincerely,

Julie
Conagra Brands Consumer Care

Case: 06631637

1-800-722-1344

http://www.conagrabrands.com
Conagra Brands * Chicago, IL 60654


From: Conagra Consumer Care [consumer.care@conagra.com]
Sent: 12/11/2023, 1:43 PM
To: [me]
Subject: LA CHOY Consumer Care Response: Case # 06631637 [ ref:!00D800cIJR.!500QU02afd0:ref ]

Hello Eric,

Thank you for reaching out to Ms. Schaefer’s office to let us know you were a fan of our LA CHOY TERIYAKI MARINADE AND SAUCE.

From time to time we reformulate our product recipes, this also includes how consumer preferences change over time. Unfortunately, itโ€™s no longer available but we’ll make sure to share your comments regarding your request to bring back the older formulation with appropriate personnel.

If you have any further questions, please don’t hesitate to contact our supervisors at 1-800-722-1344, between the hours of 9:00 A.M. and 4:00 P.M. CST, Monday through Thursday, and between the hours of 9:00 A.M. and 1:00 P.M. CST, on Fridays. Please give reference number 06631637 to the supervisor who answers your phone call. If a supervisor isnโ€™t available, please leave a voicemail with your name and reference number. A supervisor should return your call within 48 business hours.

Thanks again for taking the time to share your feedback.

Sincerely,

Julie
Conagra Brands Consumer Care

Case: 06631637

1-800-722-1344

http://www.conagrabrands.com

Conagra Brands * Chicago, IL 60654

They really don’t get that I am never calling them.โ€‚This is why I write goofy emails.

And updates via X:

I no tpe suh gewd.

And the only good responses from a grocery store…

From: Guest Relations guest.relations@target.com
Date: Mon, Dec 11, 2023 at 4:12โ€ฏPM
Subject: Your Inquiry to Target.com Executive Offices
To: [me]

Hello Eric,

Thank you for contacting Target about your experience. I received a copy of your email from our executive offices along with a request to reach out.

Thanks for asking about this “La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade” we understand you are interested to know if we carry or plan on carrying this. I do apologize, but we do not have this item available in our assortment and at this time we do not have any additional information to share regarding future availability. To view the wide variety of other Teriyaki sauces we do carry please click here.

We appreciate you reaching out and sharing interest with this item. Iโ€™ll be sure to share your comments with our buyers.

Sincerely,

Mercedes

Target Guest Relations

Executive Contact Team
http://www.target.com

From: Melissa (Fresh Thyme) support@freshthyme.zendesk.com
Date: Sat, Dec 9, 2023 at 10:50โ€ฏAM
Subject: [Fresh Thyme] Re: La Choy Teriyaki Sauce & Marinade
To: [me]

Your request (26880) has been updated. To add additional comments, reply to this email.

Melissa (Fresh Thyme)

Dec 9, 2023, 9:50โ€ฏAM CST

Dear Eric,

Thanks for reaching out! The products available at our stores may differ by location. To find out if your local store carries (product name), you may visit our website http://www.freshthyme.com and search for any of your desired products.

I will forward this to the Store Director for the Bridgeville, PA store location for you as well.

Thank you for being a Fresh Thyme customer!
Melissa
Fresh Thyme Customer Care

Nothing from Giant Eagle, Walmart, or Shop’n Save.

You should try to solve the maze, & then post it & tag me on social media.โ€‚I’m @AiXeLsyD on pretty much everything.

Or, you could buy my book or some merch.


Conagra Brands
@ConagraBrands
ยท
Nov 20
Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. Both of these products are still available. Individual retailers make the final decisions about which products they will sell. If you cannot find a specific product you're looking for, ask your retailer to begin carrying it for you.
แ—กส๊™…โ…ƒษ˜XiA ฦ†iะฏฦŽ ๐ŸŽธ
@AiXeLsyD13
ยท
Dec 18
So, I recently received an email from Comagra saying that the good version is no longer available.

Who is right, them or you?
Conagra Brands
@ConagraBrands
ยท
Dec 19
Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. We're sorry, but our Teriyaki Marinade Sauce has been discontinued. Our Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce Marinade is still available. We hope this information helps and apologize for any confusion. Thanks for your interest in our product.

Seriously, what happened in a month?

แ—กส๊™…โ…ƒษ˜XiA ฦ†iะฏฦŽ ๐ŸŽธ
@AiXeLsyD13
ยท
Nov 19
And... I no longer see it on the #LaChoy website product page:  https://lachoy.com/asian-cooking-products/asian-inspired-sauces

Please, tell me that you DID NOT DISCONTINUE this absolutely infallible nectar of the gods?
Conagra Brands
@ConagraBrands
ยท
Nov 20
Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. Both of these products are still available. Individual retailers make the final decisions about which products they will sell. If you cannot find a specific product you're looking for, ask your retailer to begin carrying it for you.
แ—กส๊™…โ…ƒษ˜XiA ฦ†iะฏฦŽ ๐ŸŽธ
@AiXeLsyD13
ยท
Dec 18
So, I recently received an email from Comagra saying that the good version is no longer available.

Who is right, them or you?
Conagra Brands
@ConagraBrands
ยท
Dec 19
Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. We're sorry, but our Teriyaki Marinade Sauce has been discontinued. Our Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce Marinade is still available. We hope this information helps and apologize for any confusion. Thanks for your interest in our product.
แ—กส๊™…โ…ƒษ˜XiA ฦ†iะฏฦŽ ๐ŸŽธ
@AiXeLsyD13
ยท
Dec 19
Thank you for the reply.  I may have a memorial service for the best Teriyaki sauce ever.  Perhaps I could buy the recipe from you?

Did anyone at least try the maze?
Conagra Brands
@ConagraBrands
Thank you for replying. We're unable to provide the recipe as it is proprietary but appreciate your interest in our products. Thank you again for taking the time message and enjoy your week.

La Choy Teriyaki Terror


Foe several years now, I have had an increasing number of issues trying to procure my favorite teriyaki sauce. You know how it is, you find something you like, then it is gone! I have blogged about this before, but the situation is getting much more desperate as time goes by. I have written many goofy emails and letters. I have received swag from Pepto, Turner’s, & Radio Shack. I have drawn mazes and send them to call attention to supply chain issues with potatoes and cocktail rye bread. I surely am single-handedly responsible for the return of Bronco Berry Sauce, right? So, I have to try with my La Choy Teriyaki Marinade & Sauce.

I like to use it to make this Teriyaki stuff. Other brands DO NOT COMPARE. It scares me that it is no longer listed on the La Choy product page.

I drafted up this letter and maze:

Hello Friends,

I write to you today to invite you on a journey with me. The journey is the quest for the most absolute perfect Teriyaki sauce. You may find yourself wondering if it exists. I can assure you, it doesโ€ฆ or at least it did. Over the past few years it has been increasingly difficult to find. You’re surely wondering by now, to which magical elixir I am referring? It is confusing, but I will try to explain: The original La Choy Teriyaki Marinade & Sauce is wondrous perfection, yet the La Choy Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce & Marinade is devastatingly abhorrent.

I know that โ€œteriyakiโ€ may refer to a style, much like โ€œbarbecueโ€ can denote many kinds of sauces, but it ought to be a crime to label these two sauces with the same descriptor. โ€œKetchupโ€ came to describe the sugary tomato-based condiment we all know today, even though at one point it could have referred to many different things including a sauce with fermented fish.

I have seen the words on the label move around in various orders, so Iโ€™m not 100% sure exactly what to call the sauce, or how to differentiate it by descriptorโ€ฆ but I can tell you that the darker sauce in the bottle with the same shape as your soy sauce is fantastic, and the other stuff in the salad-dressing style bottle with seeds floating in it is terrible.

Over the years, I have written to my local grocery store, and they said the distributor discontinued it. I had one local store that carried it, and they have replaced its spot on the shelf with a similar yet inferior brand that we would have called generic in my youth. I have reached out to Conagra on social media, and was told to use the product locator. The product locator shows that no one around here sells that sauce, and seems to indicate it is not available online.

The La Choy website that lists all of the sauces does not show the good style sauce, but only the gross style. Is this an indication that you no longer manufacture the good stuff? Google searches lead to one gallon jugs or full cases. I only need a few bottles at a time. Looking closer, it shows as โ€œout of stockโ€ on some sites. Are you having supply chain issues? Is it being phased out? Is it available only regionally outside of my region?

I am writing to implore you to get me some answers other than the stock โ€œYes, we still make it. Please use our product locator.โ€ I would like some real concrete answers. I also plan to write to all of my local grocery chains.

Please enjoy the attached maze, to help you as you contemplate a suggested resolution to my quest. Are you able to let me know the names of any of the distributors or local/national grocery chains where I can reach out to request your product, or even independent stores? I am in Bridgeville, PA, USAโ€ฆ just south of Pittsburgh.

I would love email addresses, or even snail mail. I am not a fan of these constraining contact forms.

I look forward to your reply, and thank you for the many tasty dinners that I have enjoyed thanks to your delicious sauce. I wonโ€™t even ask for an apology for the terribleness of the other sauce, even though you really should apologize for it.

I thank you for your time and attention, may you have a joyous and cheerful holiday season this year!

Your Hangry Fan,
-Eric
aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com

A maze, with the object to help a cartoon AiXeLsyD13 find his preferred Le Choy Teriyaki sauce.
Help me on my quest!

I sent that to Conagra’s contact form, well, what would fit, but was able to attach the maze. I also sent it through Facebook and Instagram messages, and tried to reach out via Twitter (again).

I used a google search to find their CEO’s name and their supposed email syntax, and sent the message to several variations of his address. None have bounced back yet, but I doubt they will all go through. I did also email their media relations and investor questions email which I found in a press release.

What’s my next move? Snail mail? Other executives? Board Members? I plan to email local food chains & maybe even smaller grocers. How do I find their distributors? Should I snail mail these out?

I feel like I have been getting the run-around on this for years:

Teriyaki Stuff


I absolutely love the flavors in Asian food, but because of my shellfish allergy, I rarely dine at those types of restaurants because of ingredients like oyster sauce or brine shrimp as seasoning and cross contamination. I even had friends that once ordered “vegetarian” egg rolls that contained crab meat. I think it was a perfect storm of a language issue and a culture issue.

I posted this photo of a dish we make often on social media, and was asked for the recipe. I figured I would share it here too! It’s more of a method maybe than an exact recipe. My wife usually makes it with chicken instead of beef and without the chick peas.

  1. Made 4 cupsย  of instant rice according to the box, instead of salt in the water I used 1 teaspoon of beef bullion, set aside.
  2. Sear the steaks on high on a flat pan that can go into the oven – coat w/ EVOO, salt & pepper… about 2 minutes a side.
  3. Place a pat of butter on each steak, place in oven at 400ยฐ for about 10 minutes.
  4. Cook the chick peas in a bit of EVOO, maybe medium-high heat.ย  You need to keep an eye on them as they can “pop.”
  5. Add the Teriyaki sauce to the pan and let it cook, maybe take it down to medium.ย  I keep stirring & scraping the bottom of the pan.
  6. Get the water boiling for under a steamer basket.ย  I usually add onion powder and garlic powder.
  7. Take out the steaks and let them rest on a cutting board.
  8. Steam the vegetables above the boiling water once it starts to go… I usually wait for them to turn a bright color then turn it off as I like them still to be a bit crunchy.ย  Carrots on bottom, broccoli in the middle, peppers on top seems to make the cook the most evenly.
  9. Cut the steaks into strips, I try to go on an angle so they’re nice & tender.
  10. Add the steak to the chick peas & Teriyaki… don’t overcook the steak.ย  It should still be a little pink in the middle when you add it.
  11. Fluff the rice.
  12. I use garlic powder, onion powder, season all, Mrs. Dash, salt, & pepper throughout on everything.
  13. Plate the rice, veggies, beef/chickpeas/sauce and enjoy!

It all sounds much more complicated than it is.ย  You can cook he steaks on a countertop grill or cut them into strips & cook in the pan… but I tend to overcook them that way. You could, of course, also use the marinade as an actual marinade.

You could just boil the veggies too, but I feel like that takes out all the flavor and turns them to mush.ย  Roasting them in the oven may be delicious too, but would take a bit longer… this would be good for the chickpeas too.

If I had a wok, I’d get brave and try it all like a stir-fry. Maybe like the “white people tacos” meme, this is my version of Asian food.

I’d be interested to see what other people think if you try it out. I’d like if you shared your meals like this in the comments, so I have more stuff to try.

I am stuck on this type of La Choy Teriyaki sauce & marinade. The flavor is perfect. The “stir fry sauce” has sesame seeds in it, & I’m not a fan of the texture and hate to tempt fate with diverticulitis issues. The other ones are just OK. What’s your favorite type? Have you ever made your own?

According to Wikipedia, it seems like Teriyaki is similar to Barbecue as it seems to refer to a style of cooking as well as the sauce. Maybe I am wildly misusing the term? I just like the sauce. A lot.

It has been increasingly difficult to find. I have tweeted (๐•eeted?) Conagra and I think they are stalling. I’m going to have to have a maze-fueled letter & email wiring campaign. I was told the sauce was discontinued by a local distributor to Giant Eagle in 2009, but have definitely found it since then. The current La Choy website doesn’t list it as a product, but the Internet Wayback Machine has it.



Yinzburg makes some tasty BBQ for y’all…


YinzBurgh BBQ on UrbanspoonLast night before the band played a show in Bloomfield, my wife & I stopped with some friends at Yinzburg BBQ on Baum Blvd. in Bloomfield.ย  Last time I was in that building it was a Roly Poly, and it’s certainly a different place now.

Yelp | Pittsburgh BBQ

Yelp | Pittsburgh BBQ

I’m a huge fan of BBQ and I have been reading great reviews about the place online, so I was very anxious to check it out.ย  (Also, I’ve been in a BBQ mood lately.)ย  Of course with the whole shellfish allergy thing, I took a look at the menu online before we went down.ย  My mouth was watering at all of the delicious prospects.ย  Thankfully, there is no deathfish present on the menu.ย  I’ve sadly gone to places before that have had daily specials or menu revamps that aren’t online… so I decided to send them an email.ย  I was met with a quick, friendly & inviting reply from owner & chef Richard.ย  His philosophy seems to be summed up in his email signature:

1. Barbecue is a cuisine; Barbecue sauce is a condiment!
2. The sauce is served on the side.
3. The love is in the rub!

When we walked in we were greeted by a woman with a sweet southern accent who asked us if we had ever been there before.ย  We indicated that we hadn’t & got a lesson in the 4 main & 2 hot barbecue sauces.ย  I liked the vinegar one & the signature red…ย  And, I liked that you could get 2 different ones with your meal.ย  Next time I might get the mustard sauce.

I had the brisket & pulled pork combo with the signature red & vinegar sauces (served on the side, so you can apply or dip however you like), the coleslaw, and a root beer from Natrona.ย  I tried both meats sans sauce, and they were incredible.ย  I found myself having a hard time deciding which sauce I liked better with which meat.ย  The coleslaw was creamy and flavorful.ย  I also had a sample of my wife’s mac n’ cheese (she got a delicious looking half chicken), and our friends’ collard greens.ย  The mac n’ cheese was nice & creamy and the collard greens were delicious.ย  I’ve sadly never had any until now.ย  We even had a very satisfied vegetarian in our midst who seemed to really like the smoked tofu wrap.ย  It’s not every day you find a BBQ place that serves vegan and vegetarian items.

There were two 2-seater tables outside, and 2 tables with standing room only inside.ย  We stood as we dined,negotiating around the mountain of food in front of us.ย  Halfway through the meal, I was already planning what to order for my next visit.ย  Next time it’s chicken & ribs… maybe the black eyed peas on the side.ย  Next time will also be soon!ย  They asked us to tell our friends… and if you’re reading this… you’re my friend, and you need to go check this place out!

I was so enamored with the food… I forgot to take a photo to upload to UrbanSpoon… oh well, maybe next time!

A CONTEST FOR YOU! Gimme a recipe, win some Bronco Berry Sauce.


240 Packs of Bronco Berry Sauce!

Want 13 of these?

OK.ย  If you’ve been reading my blog, you know that I have an entireย  case (& a little more) of Arby’s delicious Bronco Berry Sauce just taking up space in my dining room.ย  I would eat it all if I could, but it’s probably not an achievable (or wise) goal.ย  Sadly, my Bronco Berry Sauce will have to go without its perfect partner Arby’s delicious Jalapeรฑo Bites… as they have not yet returned to the menu here in Pittsburgh.ย  Perhaps there is still reason to Occupy Arby’s even if Hala asked me nicely not to?

I’m left with a few tasks… figuring out what to do with the sauce besides dunking Tyson’s chicken tenders in it, and trying to pawn some off on friends, family, and maybe even a busker.ย  It expires in June, and I’d hate for any (more) to go to waste.

I was thinking it may make an excellent glaze for meatloaf, or even as an internal ingredient.ย  It would also probably be good as a glaze on grilled or baked chicken, but I’m guessing the high sugar content would make it blacken quite quickly.ย  I wonder if it will freeze?ย  A Bronco Berry Popsicle could be either incredible or disastrous.ย  Would there be a way to work it into an icing (or again as an ingredient) in a chocolate cupcake?

My readers and commenters are obviously the most enlightened and intelligent group of people I know, so I’m turning to you for ideas.

I promise to wrap it better than my last gift from Arby's if I need to mail it to you.

I promise to wrap it better than my last gift from Arby's if I need to mail it to you.

Here’s where the contest comes in.ย  Give me your recipe for something including Arby’s Bronco Berry Sauce as an ingredient.ย  You may want to familiarize yourself with it if you’ve never tried it.ย  The name is misleading, it contains no berries or horses.ย  It’s sweet, it’s spicy, it’s awesome.ย  This will be like Chopped or Iron Chef, except instead of TV fame and butt-loads of money the prize is… Let’s say 13 packs of Bronco Berry Sauce, because I like the number 13.ย  Also, I’m not Alton Brown or Ted Allen.ย  If it’s really good, we’ll maybe eventually have to make copycat recipes to continue making the prize winner.

You have until Friday May 4th to get your recipes to me.ย  I’ll post them in a blog, put up a poll, and have the readers vote.ย  We’ll close the poll & pick a winner on May 13th.ย  You can enter multiple times within reason.ย  Voting will happen with the little poll widget here, so encourage your friends, neighbors, family, and even enemies to vote for you.

The only way to enter: You can email your fantastically delicious recipe to world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com with the subject containing the hashtag “#Bronco13” & the name of your recipe.ย  We’ll annoy people with it on Twitter, Google+, Pinterest, & wherever else hashtags work.

In the event of a tie, both of you will get 13 packets of Bronco Berry Sauce.

What are you waiting for?ย  Get to work!