Pizza Pockets


So, a while back I made some things, and I don’t know if they were calzones or stromboli because no one can seem to fully agree on the definitions of either. Yes, I know definitions exist, but restaurants are all over out here calling them the wrong thing and people will confidently give you their contradicting hyper-regional opinions as gospel. Maybe it’s a turnover? I like alliteration, so Pizza Pocket it is.

[ Just The Recipe | Cooked Wiki | Only the Recipe ]

The first ones I made were not pretty. They were more half-moon shaped, one was not sealed well. They were delicious, but not awesome. I used pizza dough balls from Aldi and I did not do a great job stretching it.

This time I made some for lunch, and they looked pretty good. I put fillings in to order for each of us, and put our initials on top so they didn’t get mixed up. I got a resounding seal of approval on these, so I’m putting it here to make it again.

A top-down view of a parchment paper lined baking sheet holding four large, crispy, golden-brown pizza pockets. Each pocket features a personalized family initial carved into the top crust to identify the different fillings, with hints of glorious melted cheese peeking through.
Pizza Pockets!

Here’s what I used:

  • Giant Eagle pizza dough pop-tube
  • Jarred pizza sauce
  • Shredded Italian blend cheese
  • Shredded Mozzarella cheese
  • Parmesan cheese (the powdery shake kind)
  • 2 eggs
  • ½ stick butter
  • “Toppings:” (Fillings?)
    • canned mushroom stems & pieces
    • canned black olive slices
    • jarred roasted red peppers
    • diced ham
    • mini pepperoni
  • Spices:
    • garlic powder
    • onion powder
    • paprika
    • Italian blend
    • parsley
    • Dash table blend

Here’s how I made them:

  1. Preheat the oven to 400° (Or if you’re weird like me, preheat it to 425° then crank it down to 400° after you put the food in.)
  2. Put down some parchment paper on a large baking sheet because washing dishes sucks.
  3. Put any wet toppings like the mushrooms, olives, & red pepper on a paper towel or two do drain & dry off a bit.
  4. Melt the butter in a microwavable bowl, add in spices to taste.
  5. Crack the eggs into another bowl, whisk (or fork), and add spices again.
  6. Pop open the scary dough tubes with a spoon, roll them out, and cut them in half the short way.
  7. Put down the Italian cheese blend on half of the half. I didn’t measure, but I did use the whole bag. Leave room on the edges so you can seal the dough.
  8. Spoon on a very little bit of the pizza sauce.
  9. Add your preferred toppings, keeping track of who gets what. I took ’em all!
  10. Sprinkle some parmesan cheese.
  11. Top with a little bit of Mozzarella.
  12. Hit the edges with some egg wash.
  13. Fold over the dough to make a nice rectangle, and use a fork to crimp the 3 “open” edges.
  14. Brush the egg wash on top, then brush the melted butter on top of that.
  15. Add extra spices on top if you think it needs it, and go for more parmesan too.
  16. Cut slits in the top shaped like everyone’s initials so you know whose is whose.
  17. Pop that in the oven at 400° for 20 minutes and you get what I got in the picture.

Suggestions/Substitutions/Advice:

  • I measure with my heart. You should too. Trust your judgement. Season until your ancestors tell you to stop.
  • It’s also fun to make mountain pies (if you have a campfire going) or pizza grilled cheese.
  • You could get fancy and do all kinds of stuff like green peppers, pepperoncini, sausage, onion, Ricotta, anchovies, spinach, basil, whatever.
  • Of course use whatever dough or cheese fits your fancy, fits your budget, or is simply what’s available.
  • You can skip the pizza sauce. I also wouldn’t overdo it… you want vents up top to let steam out so it doesn’t stay too wet.

So, do you make something similar? I am way too impatient to make dough, and I seem to even be too impatient to stretch a dough ball properly. These rolled canned tube things were perfect.

Hit me up on the comments or social media replies with some conversation:

  • What would your toppings of choice be?
  • Is this a Calzone, Stromboli, turnover, or what?
  • What would you do different?

Regardless, when making a pizza, calzone, stromboli, you gotta listen to my Punk Rock Pizza Party playlist. Oh and, hey… Did you try and make a meatball club yet? You don’t have to do stuff the same boring way as everyone else. If you did make one, you should get a T-shirt (or at least a button).

I will continue to make weird stuff, and leave pizza to the experts. You could wear this T-shirt while you make pizza 0r eat pizza.

Crazy Tube Circuits | Unobtanium


I obtained the Unobtanium! Well, I was gifted the Unobtanium through an Instagram contest. What is it? It’s like two Dumble Amps and Two Klon pedals all in one box.

Check out the narrative…

The Giveaway:

The win announcement:

I got it!
Here’s what they posted:

These Instagram stories may disappear:

I tried to save them to a reel:

Check out this killer pedal & all the demos/reviews here:

Check out my crappy video here:

Here’s what I used in the demo:

Anything I should try with it?

I have been toying with doing dumbass-style pedal reviews for a while, as my base instincts are to dime every knob. Would that be something anyone is even interested in?

🎸🎸🎸

🎸🎸🎸

The Pedal Itch.


So, we all know I have a thing for guitars. I like ’em weird and I like ’em cheap. Anyone who plays & reads about guitars on the internet knows about the reality of G.A.S. and all its warning signs.

The Falcondrive guitar pedal from Rude Tech & Eaglebones Falconhawk (Ian Fowles) of The Aquabats!
Rude Tech Falcondrive

I only have a few pedals. I mean, I could always use more. Right? I think the Falcondrive sparked this most recent attack. Eaglebones Falconhawk is the renowned stringman and Fender aficionado of the insanely fun band, The Aquabats!

It’s overdrive and distortion all in one… and I like all kinds of noise. I like high gain, overdrive, distortion, chorus, fuzz… all of it.

Eaglebones sounds great, and he’s a killer player… this takes two of his older beloved modified pedals and combines them all into one package. What’s not to dig about it?

Yeah. That got my interest piqued. Then between AliExpress and Amazon, I ended up in a cheap-ass pedal deep dive. I love cheap gear. But not garbage. We’ll say inexpensive gear.

Mooer E7 | Mooer Pitch Box
RudeTech Falcondrive | Flamma FC01 Drum Loop

How do the algorithms know? They’re listening. They’re reading. They’re watching. They’re pressuring.

I have sort of always been looking at an EHX B9 or the Earthquaker Organizer (or the EHX C9, Bass9, Key9. or Synth9 really). Honestly though, let’s face it; Most of my guitars cost as much as or less than these inarguably awesome quality pedals.

I found a super cheap and entirely crappy sounding sort of competitor online, then I found a slightly less crappy but seemingly more useful competitor online… still also pretty damn cheap.

Obi Wan, doing the thing.  👋
“You want to buy the pedals.”

Behold the Aural Dream Organ Synthesis B & Organ Synthesis A. They sound like hot buttered ass.

That though, somehow led me to this, which does not sound super terrible: The Mooer E7 Synth. It is not quite as expensive as the big boys, but also doesn’t sound like a dying sound card from a Commodore 64. (Arguably, even that could be a valid fun sound to chase… but if you’re not going for that, then you probably don’t want it by accident.)

Why do I want a synth pedal? Because, for years when playing out in bands, one of the songs I always dug covering was “Cool Kids” by Screeching Weasel. It has two super short keyboard parts that I always just played on the guitar. I would be immensely amused by the 3½ seconds of satisfaction that would provide.

That’s how G.A.S. works, right?

That led me to the Mooer Pitch Box. I don’t even need a pitch box, but is sure sounds cool. And it’s cheap. Damnit. That just led me to the even cheaper VSN Harmonizer. And a drummer pedal! The struggle is real. The pedals have gained sentience and are conspiring.

Then, I found the Flamma FS01 Drum Loop, which looks like ridiculous amounts of fun.

Then there are the other pedals that I can’t forget. I love my Orange Micro Terror. Apparently they make it as a pedal now, The Terror Stamp. I use an A/B/Y sometimes to play through both the Micro Terror and the Fender Blues Jr. at once. It would be fun to Orange-up the Blues Jr., or to play the Terror Stamp into the Micro Terror to make the Orange even more Orange.

Gorilla TC-35 Tube Crunch guitar amplifier.

That got me to seeing about the recent Acorn Amps Solid State pedal made to emulate an old Peavy Decade amp made famous by Josh Homme. That made me nostalgic for my first amp, the Gorilla TC-35. It had a “Tube Crunch” knob, but no tubes. After I got a larger amp to be in a band setting… we used to use it as a PA at AiXeLsyD practice, and I think even at some living room and basement shows.

Gorilla Amps Logo

Is it possible to make into a pedal? I don’t have the skills. I have a soldering iron, but I am no good with it. I used to do drafting in high school, but I am lost on the schematics for electronics. It looks like at least two people have made the combo into a head (…OK, one was for bass). A schematic exists online. Someone even has a circuit board which emulates the circuits for the amp, but is small enough to fit in a pedal. Why make a $200 pedal for a $50 amp? Yes. Why? Also, why not?

I wrote all of that, and still don’t know the point. To relieve G.A.S.? I would guess it should only serve to exacerbate it.

My current guitar effects pedals:

Quinnamp Dirt & Ernie
DigiTech Trio
DigiTech FX3X
Planet Waves PW-CT-04
Ammoon Pock Loop
LiveWire Solutions ABY Box
Ernie Ball Wah
YesFX

I mean, I do have a few pedals. They’re not even on a board. I had them on the cut-off bottom of a milk crate, but then I wanted to remove one. They are fun, and they do indeed do things.

This, hive mind, is where I need your help. Do I want more pedals? Yes. Do I need more pedals? Also, yes. They are sure to spark creativity. Use your wisdom to teach me. Can anyone build me a TC-35 pedal? I can get my wife to Cricut the logo in vinyl! Ha ha. Which pedals should I go for? What would you go for? I’m looking for those people experienced with these cheap pedals all over the internet. Send me your thoughts, reviews, & opinions!

Balance ⊖⊘⊖


I used to think I wasn’t picky when it came to my guitar sound or tone.  I thought I wanted a Les Paul through any old amp as long as it was cranked as loud as possible.  I liked a switch to turn the dirt off or on.  Maybe I thought it was cool or “punk rock” to not care about my sound.

Lately, I care about my tone.  It doesn’t have to sound exactly the same all the time… but I have learned to roll the dials in the directions that make me happy.

My Dunlop Cry Baby.

Dunlop Cry Baby. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I actually just sold a Jim Dunlop Cry-Baby on ebay because I didn’t like how it messed with the signal even when it was off.  I may pick up some kind of wah that has a true bypass… but even at that I doubt I’ll use it much.

Any more, I don’t even use a foot-switch for going clean.  I play dirty all the time.  If I need to clean it up, I roll back one of those volume knobs, or use a switch on the guitar.  I generally always play bridge pickup & that’s it.

ERiC AiXeLsyD

I like tube amps.  I have a Crate Power Block that sounds pretty good live, but like razorblades were taken to the speaker cones when recorded or miked in any way.  I wince when I hear bands playing through solid state amps… especially when there are 2 guitars through the same kind of amp.

So, I generally go through this tiny Egnater Tweaker from my friend Dave that sounds huge, or Erin’s Blues Junior which gets incredibly dirty at reasonable volumes.

The biggest thing I’ve learned is to just listen.  If I like the sound, others will too.  What I think I want might not be exactly what I want. I’ve learned to trust my ears.

What’s your balance?  What’s your sound?