I had a rough patch last year. My wife just recently shared this photo she took at the time. It hit me kind of hard.
I was in & out of the hospital for about 3 weeks in a month due to an infection from & complications with a drain from diverticulitis. I had my sigmoid colon and part of my rectum removed, with robot-assisted orthoscopic surgery. Recovery was rough while I was in it, but relatively quick looking back.
The local hospital staff was fantastic taking care of me, the surgeon is the greatest, I was consulted by an infectious diseases doctor on the regular, and my PCP was very helpful throughout.
Medical care and insurance get a bad rap, but because of the medical care, I am still here. It hit me recently too that this is what killed Peter Steele. When this picture was taken, I was coming down from rigors that I got after a simple procedure to remove a drain. They called the rapid response team to medicate me, pack me in ice, & do what they could to help me combat a 105° fever.
This put my wife through a lot of emotional stress. Luckily my job & her job were fantastic with the time off. The kids had questions about if I was ever coming home.
Early on, my boss & a co-worker rallied to bring a cooler full of frozen food & rotisserie chickens to lighten the burden & home. Lots of friends, family, & neighbors reached out with gift cards, food, & support. I can’t thank everyone enough for donations to a GoFundMe or something that must have been out there to help with medical bills. I will pay it forward, and the help is wholeheartedly appreciated. I am humbled by the support & care for our family.
I’m not posting this to lament or for sympathy. It’s mainly just to mentally close it out, as a reminder to be thankful for absolutely everything that I have. It was most likely the impetus for me to finally try out publishing a maze book, putting my stuff on some merchandise, and drawing a maze for my surgeon.
Make every day count. Get small medical stuff checked out before it becomes big stuff. Be there for your people.
Well. The garden plot thickens. Or something. I have a few more potato-related emails. All signs point to the grocery stores being at fault, and funnily enough the grocery stores have not replied, at all.
This happened, and we got a refund from Instacart. It’s not green potatoes, but they definitely weren’t ready to just toss into the crock pot with a roast.
If you’re wondering what the hell I am talking about, you must have missed the saga as it uprooted…
Thank you for reaching out. It’s always great to meet another potato enthusiast! As you may know, while we don’t represent any one brand, Potatoes USA works on behalf of more than 2,000 potato growers and handlers across the country to promote the benefits of eating potatoes. We’re happy to provide general feedback, and the individual brands and retailers can tell you more about their practices.
As far as green potatoes go, you’re correct that the color signifies the build-up of solanine. It’s a natural reaction to the potato being exposed to too much light. If there’s slight greening, you can cut away those green portions before cooking and eating. Generally speaking, you’re unlikely to ingest enough solanine to do you any harm.
However, I know you’re a potato skin fan (and rightly so). One bit of good news on the nutrition front is that the only nutrient significantly lost when the skin is removed is fiber. (A medium (5.3 oz) potato contains 2 grams of fiber with the skin and 1 gram of fiber without the skin.) Potassium and vitamin C are found predominantly in the flesh.
Potato growers take a number of steps to reduce greening, including maintaining enough soil cover over potatoes in the field and storing harvested potatoes in facilities with minimal light.
If you aren’t already, I’d encourage you to store your fresh potatoes in a cool, dark place. If you’re finding green potatoes upon returning from the store (or after Instacart delivery), you can often return them.
Thanks again for your note. We hope you have a spud-tacular holiday season, filled with plenty of potatoes.
Thank you for your response! I really appreciate your time and the imparted potato knowledge.
In my reaching out to several potato producers, it seems that they all want to lay the blame on the distribution and storage by the grocers.
So, the “all the vitamins are in the skin” that I got from my grandma when I was a kid was just potato public relations? 🤣
No matter, I agree they are delicious.
Please, enjoy the attached mazes with your friends, family, & co-workers!
I hope you enjoy you have a pleasant holiday season and a happy new year, and a great going season next year. I know I am looking forward to planting some potatoes myself.
I may leave out some potato candy for Santa, if I don’t eat it all!
Tuber-ular Tidings to you & yours!
-Eric
I sent the mazes again, like an idiot. Ha ha. I forgot I had sent them previously. No reply or acknowledgement this time.
This came as response from Tasteful Selections, which are the ones pictured above:
Hi Eric,
Thank you so much for contacting us. I am terribly sorry for the poor experience you had with our product. I can assure you that the quality you saw is not our standard, and for this I apologize.
We strive to ensure that every package of potatoes that leave our farm is handled with the utmost care in order to deliver a quality product to our consumers. Unfortunately, sometimes temperature changes and changes in light make potatoes break down or decay faster than they normally would.
The greening you’re experiencing occurs when potatoes have been exposed to too much light, either natural or artificial, that gives the potatoes a sort of “sunburn.” While greening is a result of light exposure, the visible greening can be delayed. Potatoes exposed to light may be packaged and continue to green beyond our last inspection point. We make every effort to avoid this, however, in your case we were not successful. You can cut the green out of the potatoes and use the rest (although that’s a bit tougher with small potatoes), but eating the green portion of the potato can give a very bitter flavor.
I am sincerely sorry for the inconvenience this has caused you. We stand by our products and you should not have had to have an experience like this. I would like to make it up to you by offering you a product voucher to hopefully help compensate you for your troubles.
If I may please have your mailing address, I would be happy to send you a product voucher straight away. Again, my personal apologies for the frustration this has caused you.
Thank you for your response! I have been exasperated lately with the amount of green or sprouting potatoes from the grocery store. It is a consistent issue across brands and stores, and whether we use a service like I Instacart or pick a bag ourselves.
I understand, from your reply among others, that the issue is most likely occurring after it leaves the potato farm.
Can retailers like Aldi, Giant Eagle, or Target be better educated about potato shipping and storage?
Instacart already refunded us for the purchase of the recently sprouting spuds as that was clearly a shopper error.
If it was spring, I would just plant them! You have a delicious variety of golden potatoes, perfect for home-fries!
Sometimes, the green potatoes don’t reveal themselves until you crack open that bag about to prepare a meal.
I would just like some sort of solution going forward. What can the potato industry do to hold grocers accountable?
If I wanted the gastrointestinal distress and discomfort associated with eating green potatoes, I would just dine at Taco Bell or Pizza Hut. Right?
My mailing address is…
Eric AiXeLsyD
#### Nunya St.
Bidness, PA #####-####
…but again I’m not really looking for free potatoes, I just want to get what I pay for.
I appreciate you reaching out, and pride in the quality of your product. Please find my gift of the attached potato mazes, and share them with your co-workers and friends if so inclined.
Have a very starchy Christmas and a tuber new year!
-Eric
And I got a reply:
Hi Eric,
Thanks so much for getting back to me. I definitely understand your concerns. Our sales & business development team are already working with Produce Managers and providing resources for storing and caring for potatoes. We’ll continue to do our part, however, it ends up being the responsiblity of Produce Managers to not only train their staff, but also make sure they are following through with the potato best practices.
I have a few coupons headed your way.
Sincerely, Jenny
I like free potatoes. I will be on the lookout for potato vouchers!
Now, I have reached several road-blocks with getting a message to Aldi. They apparently do not like to give out email addresses.
I dug up some email formats & corporate names on teh Google mosheen and sent this, also to no avail (so far):
Greetings My Frugal Friends,
I hope you are gearing up for a pleasant, festive, and relaxing holiday season! I appreciate your role in bringing food & other goodies to our homes.
I write to you today with some tuber related shenanigans I have noticed over the last few years. I have submitted a missive to your contact form at the Aldi website to no avail. I have been checking my junk/spam folder too.
I also tried reaching out via Facebook and Twitter… only to be told that your social media teams are unfathomably unable to forward messages to your customer service team or provide an email address. I had to do some Googling, and I pray to a higher power that this reaches a live intelligent and empathetic human being.
I love potatoes. At rhe risk of sounding like Forrest Gump’s friend Bubba droning on about shrimp…
I love potatoes. I like home fries, hash browns, mashed potatoes, baked potatoes, cheesy potatoes, hassleback potatoes, scalloped potatoes, potato candy, potato soup, lyinnaise potatoes, potato filling, tater tots, potato salad (hot or cold styles), shepherd’s pie, and sometimes even potato pancakes. Twice baked potatoes are a fantastic treat too. I hear potato vodka is good too, but I am not much of a drinker. Perhaps a potato beer would be more my speed if such a thing exists?
Nearly every bag of potatoes that I have purchased from your and/or your esteemed competitors over the last few years has had an alarmingly large amount of green solanine-filled potatoes. Glycoalkaloids are not our friends! On the mild end, eating green potatoes would be like chasing a Taco Bell meal with a laxative.
The straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back was one night at dinner when ready to bake 8 potatoes as a side to chili… 2 of the potatoes were totally green on the outside. They had been delivered by Instacart, but the green potatoes were not evident upon eying the outside of the bag.
That’s ¼ of rhe potatoes unusable for their intended purpose. Yes, I could have peeled away the green, but who wants a baked potato with no skin? That’s just craziness. Do I get ¼ of my money back?
I have written to and received replies from quite a few potato farms, and they all seem to point the finger at the end retailer… which in some cases is Aldi. They cite importer handling and storage… specifically exposure to light and longer than optimal time frames.
Perhaps the powers that be within your fine organization can put their heads together, asses your handling of these tiny starcchy underground gifts from heaven, and come up with ways to prevent waste? It may need to be a highly coordinated effort with logistics, distribution, shipping, and warehousing.
As an effort to aid exercise in meditation and clearing your thoughts, I have attached some potato themed mazes. Mazes and labyrinths have a history of assisting people to achieve a zen like state. Perhaps this will provide the needed clarity to prevent ultra violet potato decimation.
You have a fantastic business and I appreciate your effort to bring quality goods to the more budget-concious among us.
If requested, I can even forward my original (perhaps lost?) message.
Thank you for your time, I look forward to your thoughts on the matter!
Let’s root for a starchy Christmas and a tuber new year! -Eric
So, maybe that will get something. Maybe not. Giant Eagle hasn’t bothered to reply either.
Hmm. @GiantEagle still hasn't replied about these @SideDelights potatoes… even though Side Delights has. They cite improper handling by the big bird. All I get are crickets, no chirps, tweets, or even screeches.
@tastefulselect we got these from @aldiusa via @instacart yesterday. Instacart has refunded, but what gives with the ongoing potato issues? I have had so many green ones this past year or so. Are stores shipping/storing improperly?
Yeah, tried that. Got a phone number. Not interested in calling. I would like to send an email, but no one will provide an email address, and apparently your social media team can't just forward a DM to the customer service department. 🤷♂️🤦♂️
Well, the replies are starting to come in. While this certainly isn’t an issue as pressing, depraved, or salacious as the lady who put the pee in potato at Walmart that one time, it does seem to resonate with people.
Thank you so much for your prompt reply! This was a 5 lb. bag of Russet potatoes, I believed purchased at Aldi via Instacart. Unfortunately, I disposed of all the packaging. I cooked the whole bag! Well, everything that wasn’t green. It would have been purchased at the Aldi in Bridgeville, Pennsylvania… earlier this week. I really don’t want a rebate or anything. I just want to stop getting green potatoes. Can you imagine if 3 out of every dozen eggs were unusable? Or 5 slices of every loaf of bread just moldy? I may have to reach out to Aldi regarding their shipping/storage practices… and Instacart about their selection process. I am sure you take great pride in your potatoes. I know how I feel with a back yard garden, and I’m only feeding a family of 4. You guys must feed millions. I, really though, am going to reach out every time I get green potatoes, no matter the producer. We, as a society, can’t afford to not get the most value out of a dollar. I hope everyone can work together to get perfect produce into our kitchens.
Thank you for your time!
-Eric
And, they wrote back to me:
Hi Eric,
These are unique potato mazes! Thank you for sharing along with where you recently purchased your Alsum 5 lb. russet bag of potatoes. I’m hopeful the hands shopping for your produce through Aldi can be educated to remove from the store shelf any green potatoes to prevent this poor experience going forward. It might be worth the call to bring this to the retailers attention to help everyone have a good potato eating experience and use the bag in full.
As a consumer, I couldn’t agree more we need to stretch our food dollar, and it’s important from farmer to retail grocer to work together to provide a quality product.
We hope you give us another try.
Take care,
Christine
I wrote back once again:
Thank you Christine,
I have reached out to Aldi via web contact form and Facebook, but they are not nearly as quick as you with a response. I am sure you, like all of us, feel the pressure of stretching a dollar lately. I will most certainly give Alsum and Aldi (and even Instacart) another try. Hopefully they can adjust their potato handling process.
Thank you so much for your quick, informative and warm response. I hope the mazes can bring a smile to your co-workers’ faces!
You have a knack for writing, I enjoyed your email!
I am very sorry to hear about the many “green potato’s experiences” you have had. This particular purchase does worry me, we have not supplied potatoes to Giant Eagle since Sept. 29, 2022. So if they are our spuds, they were packed over 9 weeks ago and they would most definitely be green or breaking down. (We suggest a 4 week shelf life).
You are correct in saying eating green potatoes can be harmful, that is true but only if consumed in very large amounts. To play it safe, we tell everyone just to peel the green away or just throw it out.
Do you happen to have the kwik lock (plastic tie) to seal the bag? If so, can you tell me what the 6 digit numbers are? I am sorry I cannot be of much help on this one, but I would let the produce manager know so he or she can clean out their out of date bags on their produce shelf.
Thank you for your message,
Rachel
That was via webform, so I sent the potato mazes and this:
Hello Rachel,
Thank you for such a quick informative reply! I hope the attached mazes can entertain you & your co-workers. I believe I will follow up with Giant Eagle and other local grocers about the green potato issie. It seems that no potato farms are letting green potatoes out the door, but improper storage may be leading to green toxic tubers.
I must confess I have never put much thought into the choice of brands of potato. I just go with whatever is on the produce shelf. I will have to seek out Masser Spuds with intent from now on.
I don’t believe your product specifically was one that has recently been GOA (green on arrival) or turned quickly once it reached my home. I had some issues most recently with Alsum. In a bag of 8 total potatoes, 2 were green and unusable as baked potatoes to go along with the delicious chili that my wife made last week. It’s delicious because she follows my recipe although taking some unnecessary liberties on portions. The kids are crazy because they say hers is much much better than mine. I agree with them, because I may be crazy, but i am not stupid.
I also spotted an entirely green bag of Side Delights potatoes at the aforementioned Giant Eagle yesterday. It lends credence to the theory that Giant Eagle may need to take more care of their precious potato produce. A lot of people may not understand. I posted on social media asking if others had noticed the issue. On Nextdoor someone suggested that like bananas, I just let them ripen at home. 🤦♂️
Sadly though, the problem does not seem limited to any one store or potato farm. The Alsum bag with one quarter of the bag unusable was just the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back. I feel like for the last 2 years, I have been getting a much greater number of green potatoes from Giant Eagle, Shop ‘n Save, Aldi, Walmart, Target, & even BJ’s Wholesale. It is usually only with bagged potatoes… not ones that I would pick fresh. There is the convenience of ordering from Instacart or Target home delivery. Arguably they should be picking better produce, but it is hard to see the whole bag.
Potatoes usually don’t last long here before they’re consumed. We grow our own in the summer, but they cannot fuel our entire consumption. Our small yard and time available are limiting,
If only Mythbusters was still a thing, perhaps they could tell us how much green potato we could safely consume before it felt like we had one of everything from the Taco Bell menu with a side of possible neurological complications.
Thank you once again for your time, and I do hope you enjoy the mazes.
Thank you!
-Eric
And that’s about it for now, other than some standard auto-replies, like this one from Aldi via Facebook Messenger:
I know you’re absolutely riveted by the saga and glued to the screen with anticipation of a solution to the great green potato crisis. Try the potato mazes while you wait!
Recently, while camping at a local Jellystone with the family (awesome for young kids, by the way!), it occurred to me just how awesome cargo shorts are. Luckily I have a fashion sense unfettered by current trends, or perhaps a complete lack thereof. Why are they so vilified?
My cargo shorts were the hero of the day for a Saturday camping adventure.
My shorts in the course of the day, at one point for quite some time, contained all of the following…
Car keys
Cabin key
Wallet
Cell phone
Wife’s cell phone
Wife’s lip balm
4 golf balls from Putt Putt that we need to return for a refund across the camp.
The contents of one “fossil” mining sluice bag.
The contents of one “gem” mining sluice bag.
Tummy medicine.
Campground map.
Multi-Tool pocket knife thing:
Plyers
Cutters/Strippers
Knife
Saw
Ruler
Phillips-Head Screwdriver
Flat-Head screw driver
Can-opener
Other Can-opener
File
Epi-Pen.
Tell me that’s not awesome. See the above FB post from my friend Dave, and the photo of backpack shorts found from the bowels of social media? Perhaps that is the only possible evolution to something more useful. Are you brave enough to try?
So, cargo shorts dad, or just cargo shorts man… you continue being you. Cargo shorts mom or cargo shorts woman? You be you too! Fashion will circle back around. Or not. Who cares? We stand the test of time.
I also wear high-top Chuck Taylor All Stars with shorts, which my wife erroneously and hilariously thinks is a faux pas. I mean, what?
I have also noticed that socks with Crocs is a thing. I got into Crocs almost like I imagine someone succumbs to an addiction. I thought they were dumb. I got some for creek shoes at camp. They were really comfortable. I got some fur-lined ones for slippers at home. I wore the regular ones into the yard to garden. I wear them to cut grass, take out the dog, take out the trash. I wore them for a quick run to Rite Aid. Wore them for a longer run to Giant Eagle. Wore them with socks while gardening or mowing the lawn to keep the dirt from getting in between my toes. Will I be wearing Crocs in socks to the kids’ school and sports activities soon?
Tell me in the comments what you store in your cargo shorts. What should I be keeping in mine? I didn’t even get into how different shades of camo PERFECTLY compliment my band T-shirts and Star Wars or Batman T-shirts.
You probably shouldn’t take fashion advice from a guy with lambchop sideburns anyway.
So, recently I got a smoker attachment for my Char-Griller grill as a gift for Father’s Day. I tried it out today and the results we fantastic. I hit up the Google machine and some non-BBQ-ing Facebook groups for advice, tips, & tricks. (I imagine that they are as intense as guitar groups and I am just not ready yet.) I kept getting advice on the 3-2-1 method of smoking ribs. There are many variations of that technique. I think it went well. I tracked my progress with the #AiXeLsyDBBQ hashtag. Maybe I’ll do some more next time.
The quick and dirty of this method is…
Get your coals to 225°-ish. (I used a chimney to avoid lighter fluid and it was awesome.) I added some wood chunks in the chimney, and on top once I spread on the coals. I did not soak the wood, but I may next time. Control the temp with your vents. Open a bit warms it up, closed cools it off… all because of airflow.
Put the ribs in the grill part if you have an attachment, or not on the heat for 3 hours.
Pull the ribs out, wrap in heavy duty grilling foil, add some apple cider, apple juice, vinegar, pop, or whatever. I added some Straub. Unfortunately I made 2 racks and used the whole bottle, so I drank one myself.
Put them in for 2 hours, smoking really isn’t necessary at this point if your wanna save your chunks or chips.
Pull them out and unwrap them. I should have saved the drippings for the barbecue sauce on the side, but I did not. Shame on me. Do that.
Sauce those ribs up. Liberally. Like, and obscene amount.
Put them back on for 1 hour.(3-2-1… get it? Guys! They said the thing!)
Always check with a thermometer for done-ness. They should be pretty damn done at this point, arguably overdone.
EAT.
I know fall-off-the-bone isn’t competition style. A bone did pull right out of one rack, but the meat was in tact, not falling completely apart. I know the foil wrapping bit is then steaming not smoking… but, rules are made to be broken and a healthy dose of anarchy warms my little punk rock heart.
I would definitely do the ribs like this again. I may try a homemade sauce. This was pretty basic store-brand stuff from Shop ‘n Save with some dry mustard, brown sugar, garlic powder, onion powder, and black pepper, and Straub American Amber Lager. I may try different chips, or a smoker box, or to soak the wood. I even read some people eschew charcoal in favor of all wood once the fire is going.
I also threw on some baked potatoes, turkey legs, grilled veggies, and sauce on the attached burner.
Can’t wait to try out a turkey, pork loin, brisket, and whatever else I haven’t thought of. Mac n’ cheese? Jalapeño poppers? Meatloaf? Bacon?
What do you do in the smoker? What are your go to foods? Got any tips & tricks worth sharing? Do you click the tongs twice or three times? Before, during, or after?
Any excuse to drink beer and play with fire all day is a good excuse to me. Plus, the family was awed by my hereto unknown skills with smoked meats.
What music are you playing while you’re grilling or smoking?
From: Chick-fil-A CARES <chickfilacares@na.ko.com>
Date: Wed, Dec 26, 2012 at 8:09 PM
Subject: Chick-fil-A Response
To: <me@my.email.address>
Dear Valued Customer:
Thank you for taking the time to contact Chick-fil-A. You are very important to us, and we appreciate your suggestion regarding the cup holders. We hope the following information will be helpful.
Chick-fil-A is fortunate to have many loyal customers. Many of these fans take the time and effort to inquire about sharing their own ideas about ways they wish to see us improve – whether it is adding a specific new product, service or feature. We are grateful for our customers’ intent, and this motivates us to work even harder to keep improving.
Unfortunately, it is our corporate policy not to accept or consider any unsolicited creative ideas. This is a difficult decision because we realize that by following this policy, Chick-fil-A may miss out on some great ideas from our customers. We would rather miss out on some of these ideas than to risk any potential future misunderstanding should Chick-fil-A develop or already have developed a product, service, or feature that may seem similar to a customer’s idea.
We hope you will understand the reasons for our policy. You can view our Unsolicited Ideas Policy at www.chick-fil-a.com/Legal (under Submissions) for more information on this issue. Beyond this policy, we gladly welcome customers’ feedback about their restaurant experiences.
We appreciate your family’s loyalty, and we look forward to serving you all at Chick-fil-A for many years to come. Again, thank you for your time and interest in Chick-fil-A.
From: <me@my.email.address>
Date: Thu, Dec 27, 2012 at 4:56 PM
Subject: Re: Chick-fil-A Response
To: Chick-fil-A CARES <chickfilacares@na.ko.com>
Hello Cheala,
Any idea how I can get my idea solicited? I’m honestly not interested in monetary compensation, I just don’t want to spill my drinks. Has anyone run this by Mr. Cathy? He’s responded to my emails before, and I understand that he’s a shrewd business man as well as a great family man. I’m sure he wouldn’t want drinks spilling on anyone… and that he’d like to pick up a free idea.
Thanks once again for your time & help!
My pleasure,
-Eric
Wonder if I’ll get a reply? I just want a good cup holder.
I have an idea for you. I realize that as a giant corporation you probably don’t accept unsolicited ideas, but please don’t let that stop you from considering this idea. I don’t expect monetary payment, maybe just free Chick-fil-A for life? (Maybe a limit to once a week?) Well, I guess I should present my idea before we start talking payment or barter.
This past Saturday I went to the Chick-fil-A inSouth Hills to grab some of those ridiculously delicious Chick-n-Minis™ for breakfast. I went into the store to order take-out so I could grab some mayo packets, ketchup, straws, & napkins at the little condiment station. I got two drinks because I was taking breakfast home to share with the wife. I opted for your highly addictive sweet tea, and the wife had a Hi-C Fruit Punch. The always courteous employees offered me a drink carrier, and I accepted. I thought it would make life easier on the ride home. I saw wrong.
I set the drink carrier on the floor of the passenger’s side of my truck. As I backed out of the space, it fell over on to the long side. Your drink lids are thankfully quite tight, but sadly not entirely waterproof. I leaned over and placed the carrier & drinks upright again, this time turning the drink holder 90 degrees the other way thinking I had outsmarted the laws of physics and that it would stay put. I could not have been more mistaken. As I turned up a hill to go out the back of the parking lot, it fell again. I believe I uttered something using vocabulary that you may not approve. At the stop sign, I had to pick up the cups and give up by putting them in the truck’s drink holders.
As I drove home trying not to think about the drops of Hi-C & iced tea soaking into my floor mats, I wondered if there was a better way. I certainly like your drink carriers much better than the egg-crate 4 space things that just let cups lean over all willy-nilly. I came to think that your drink carriers just need feet. I thought the feet may take some extra cardboard, and wondered i something could be done with the existing design.
At home, my thoughts were fueled by poultry protein. I pulled out my pocket knife and started cutting as my wife looked at me like I was a crazy person (as she does quite often). I explained what I was doing and why and she actually also thought it was a good idea.
You already have some nice sturdy cardboard. Two well-placed quarter-circle cuts & maybe even a fold mark in the middle of the carrier would create some nice sturdy feet or “wings” or your drink carrier box without the need for a complete redesign or any additional material. I tested it by trying to rock the mostly empty drinks back & forth on the kitchen table. We had no spills. I am willing to try some field tests if you’d like to move forward with this idea. My truck’s floor mats can handle it. Perhaps I can even use water instead of red & brown sugary liquids.
I’m sure we could talk to your box people & find out if this is doable for a reasonable price. I think it will be as important & innovative as the new Heinz® Dip & Squeeze® packets! I have some photos attached that I’m sure you will agree are quite illustrative of my design ideas. Sadly, my pocket knife is a cheap dull one, so the cut looks more like a rip. I believe you’ll see my intent though.
I look forward to hearing your thoughts, and am excited at the opportunity that lays before us. It would be my pleasure to help make this dream a reality!
So, there we have it. I mean, most of my letters are plain goofy, and this has a goofy tone, but really… don’t you think this would work? Now, we wait for a response.
So the other night while dining at Panera Bread, I was talking to my wife about guitars… and how I want a USA map shaped guitar painted like an old map with the pastel blue, yellow, green, & pink (red?) states. Then, I said I needed 3 more guitars to have an “even” 13 by the year 2013. With 13 being my favorite number… and us having a baby in 2013, it seemed like a good idea. She laughed and rolled her eyes. I said I could set up a Facebook page & get a million likes then she’d have to let me buy 3 more guitars. She said that a million was too many, & suggested 13,000.
Like all good jokes, I took it too far & started a page. Can I get 13,o00 likes by 2013 so I can add 3 more guitars to my collection? I need 13 in ’13!
So, spread the link if you’re so inclined… and we’ll see if I can get 1300, let alone 13,000.
Generally I blog about goofy stuff except for food allergies, and not much here takes a serious tone. If you’re reading this, I assume you already know that. A bunch has been going on with life lately, we’ve been through a whirlwind of ups & downs as things get increasingly hectic. I’ll spare you the details as my good friends & family probably already know all the stuff we have going on anyway. At any rate, that’s not the focus of this blog any way… it’s just the spark behind it.
The focus of this one is my wife, Bethany. Her Birthday is today, and with it approaching while we have many other things going on… I didn’t want it to get lost in the shuffle. I decided to make note and wish her a happy birthday here. (Someone might have to tell her about this… I don’t think she reads it much because she hears most of my ranting live without the added benefit of a filter.)
We’ve known each other for many many years and originally there was not even a remote spark of interest. We have a wide age gap, and I was a counselor when she was a camper at our church camp, Living Waters. I’m sure we talked, joked, and laughed… I even helped instruct her in Archery. Sadly for the reader, nothing creepy was going on.
Many years later we went to dinner at Ritter’s as old friends catching up (thanks to AIM of all things), and something sparked there. We generally don’t have much in common. We have wildly different personalities. We go together perfectly.
I’m glad I have found my other half. We like to laugh, and goof around with each other. We meet on common ground where things are important. Neither of us sleeps well when the other isn’t in the bed. We do enjoy cooking together, entertaining, road trips, Flogging Molly, the Ramones, Johnny Cash, & Willie Nelson. I got her quoting Star Wars, she has me inexplicably interested in Glee. We both like antiques, have an appreciation for the history of things.
We both have large & close extended families. We all fit in all around. That’s important to both of us. We’re both still actively involved with camp, it’s a very special place to us on many levels any more. We learn more about each other & ourselves with each passing year.
Bethany has brought out my sensitive side and I have given her a healthy dose of geekery & anarchy. I’m proud of her for going to school and advancing her career. I’m in awe of how she works with her special needs campers during recreation camp in the summer. It takes incredible amounts of patience and mental strength.
She supports my crazy punk rock band, guitar acquisition habit, Batman & Star Wars obsessions, and puts up with lots of the History Channel and Discovery Channel. She looks out for me with my crazy shellfish allergy, and takes care of me whenever I’m not feeling well or even if I’m just having a bad day. She has gotten over rolling her eyes at my skull coffee mug.
So to Bethany, my wife & best friend, I want to say Happy Birthday! I also want to tell you how much I love you and how glad I am that we are who we are. I am a better man for for knowing & marrying you. You are my favorite, and I’m glad we found each other.
I’m thankful that I can tell my wife to get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich, and she laughs & knows I’m not sexist. It’s even better when I do something like this in the grocery store in front of elderly people.
I’m thankful that I’m not the person who bags giblets at the turkey factory, then shoves them in the turkey’s nether-regions. (My apologies to those who are that person.)
World (and Lunar) Domination 