This is just a re-post/update of the STAR WARS movie nights we’ve been having at our place. If anyone’s interested and they haven’t been to one, let me know! We’ll be moving out of the movies proper into the crazy stuff soon. We do snacks, food, pop, beer, and just chill while watching the movies and cracking the occasional joke or spitting the occasional trivia.
I have the movies in bold, need to get my hands on the rest…
Luke Skywalker has returned to his home planet of Tatooine in an attempt to rescue his friend Han Solo from then clutches of the vile gangster Jabba the Hutt.
Little does Luke know that the GALACTIC EMPIRE has secretly begun construction on a new armored space station even more powerful than the first dreaded Death Star.
When completed, this ultimate weapon will spell certain doom for the small band of rebels struggling to restore freedom to the galaxy…
“Well, I know that George Lucas doesn’t like it at all—when I was working on The Illustrated Star Wars Universe, he told me that he would be happy if every copy could be tracked down and burned…” ―Kevin J. Anderson
(New Year’s Eve… we can turn this into a drinking game. Couch/floor space for the night is first come first serve!)
“Fanboys is the love letter to the greatest movie franchise of all time. … I wanted the film to be my gift back to Star Wars and to the fan community.” ―Kyle Newman
“It’s A Trap!” was originally known by two different titles: “Episode VI — The Great Muppet Caper” and “We Have a Bad Feeling About This.” The first was revealed online in 2009, the other was a reference to a recurring catchphrase used in all the Star Wars films.
I know, It’s a Trap isn’t out yet… but it will be by then.
Confused with all this Clone Wars crap? Well… we have 3 sort-of distinct entities…
Star Wars: Clone Wars – the animated (like old-school cartoons) microseries split into 2 volumes, taking place after Episode II: Attack of the Clones, and before…
Star Wars: The Clone Wars – The animated (CGI) TV series where apparently coming up with a new name was too difficult. These events take place after the Clone Wars CGI movie and before Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. Currently there’s 2 seasons.
I’m not sure if I have the time-line right there. Wookiepedia is misleading.
Ever get the Jalapeño Bites at Arby’s? They’re awesome… but the most awesome thing about them is that they come with a genius little cup of Bronco Berry Sauce®.
Arby’s :: Bronco Berry Sauce®
Despite the name, it contains no horses or even any berries. It’s a simple list of ingredients that are probably more sweeteners and preservatives than actual food with nutritional value. It’s something that Clark Griswold would be proud of. In fact, here’s the list as states by the Arby’s nutrition page…
Bronco Berry Sauce® Ingredients:
Sugar, Water, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Red Bell Peppers, Distilled Vinegar, Modified Corn Starch, Jalapeno Peppers, Onion (dehydrated), Xanthan Gum, Spices, Salt, Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate (preservatives), Citric Acid, Red 40, Blue 1.
Crazy. It’s odd that they don’t have to declare the spices… but there’s whole other issue. I wrote to Arby’s via webform, suggesting that they ought to bottle and sell the stuff…
Buenos Dias Buckaroos!
I write to you today with high praise for your Bronco Berry Sauce. Holy Cow, is it good! I mean, the Jalapeño Bites are excellent in and of themselves, but the delicious dip takes it to an infinitely higher level of superbity. Is superbity even a word? I don't know, my friends. But if it's not, it should be... and it should be the word to describe Bronco Berry Sauce.
I would like to know if you ever have plans to bottle the stuff and make it available for sale inside your restaurants, like Bob Evans does with their Wildfire BBQ Sauce? I think it would be a stroke of genius. I'd also purchase your Arby's Sauce, Horsey Sauce and the Honey Mustard if it were available. But the Bronco Berry Sauce is the object of my culinary desire.
I have seen the "copy-cat recopies" online, but I balk at their attempts to copy perfection. Why settle for an imitation when you can have the real thing?
If there are no plans to bottle & sell the Bronco Berry Sauce, can I somehow buy a case of the little dipping cups? Typing that out, it sounds ridiculous, but I'm serious.
Thanks you for your time, I look forward to hearing from you!
Yee-Haw!
-Eric
world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com
Well, apparently they have no plans of doing any such thing. They also apparently get this question a lot… as I got virtually the same answer twice:
from customerservice@arbys.com to world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com date Tue, Aug 10, 2010 subject Customer Feedback #387566 mailed-by arbys.com
Dear Eric,
Thank you for your comments. Our customer’s input and comments are always welcome and very important to us. I have forwarded your request to the Menu and Product Development teams. However, the Bronco Berry Sauce is not available for retail sale.
We use this information to guide the decisions we make about our brand and our products.
Thank you again.
Sincerely,
Arby’s Customer Relations
from customerservice@arbys.com to world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com date Thu, Aug 12, 2010 subject Customer Feedback #388610 mailed-by arbys.com
Dear Eric:
Thank you for your comments. Our customer’s input and comments are always welcome and very important to us. Arby’s sauces are currently not available for retail sale, however, we have shared your comments with our Menu and Product Development teams.
Thank you again.
Sincerely,
Arby’s Customer Relations
Odd. I’d like to get directly in contact with the product development team… I mean, why wouldn’t it work?
I know there are a plethora of copycat recipes online. They’re easy to find and probably easy to make… but they’re not the same. So… I can do without the Red 40 and Blue 1… but where can I pickup Xantham Gum, and what are the magic “spices”?
Or, Arby’s could just get with it and bottle their sauces. Since Wendy’s & Arby’s are now owned by the same company, their Sweet & Sour Nugget Sauce would be good too!
Do you have any sauces that you think ought to be bottled & sold?
OK fellow geeks & guests… I’m just using this as a place to put the Star Wars nights that we’ve been having at our place on a tentative schedule & brainstorm about other possible movies. We’re 3 movies in so far, drop me a line if you’re interested in joining us!
For the rest of the 3 of you reading; This is not the page you’re looking for.
I have the movies in bold, need to get my hands on the rest…
It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire.During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire’s ultimate weapon, the DEATH STAR, an armored space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet. Pursued by the Empire’s sinister agents, Princess Leia races home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save her people and restore freedom to the galaxy….
“Well, I know that George Lucas doesn’t like it at all—when I was working on The Illustrated Star Wars Universe, he told me that he would be happy if every copy could be tracked down and burned…” ―Kevin J. Anderson
(New Year’s Eve… we can turn this into a drinking game. Couch/floor space for the night is first come first serve!)
“Fanboys is the love letter to the greatest movie franchise of all time. … I wanted the film to be my gift back to Star Wars and to the fan community.” ―Kyle Newman
“It’s A Trap!” was originally known by two different titles: “Episode VI — The Great Muppet Caper” and “We Have a Bad Feeling About This.” The first was revealed online in 2009, the other was a reference to a recurring catchphrase used in all the Star Wars films.
I know, It’s a Trap isn’t out yet… but it will be by then.
Confused with all this Clone Wars crap? Well… we have 3 sort-of distinct entities…
Star Wars: Clone Wars – the animated (like old-school cartoons) microseries split into 2 volumes, taking place after Episode II: Attack of the Clones, and before…
Star Wars: The Clone Wars – The animated (CGI) TV series where apparently coming up with a new name was too difficult. These events take place after the Clone Wars CGI movie and before Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. Currently there’s 2 seasons.
I’m not sure if I have the time-line right there. Wookiepedia is misleading.
I felt like listing some of my favorite movies from when I was a kid. They’re in no particular order, just how they came to mind. Some are 80’s movies, some are earlier, with a few early 90’s ones thrown in. They were all new to me with the advent of home video rental stores. We used to go to this place called Network Video, & eventually the general store by my house started renting videos too.
I keep adding to the list as some of these movies remind me of others, I may have to do a part 2 or something someday…
Star Wars – This one’s obvious. I’m talking the whole original trilogy here. I really don’t feel the need to elaborate.
Ghostbusters – I remember laughing hysterically at “We came, we saw, we kicked some ass!” This was the perfect mix of creepy and funny for a kid like me. I used to rent this one all the time. I even loved the Saturday morning cartoon.
The Goonies – I have probably watched this more than any other movie on the list, except maybe Star Wars. I can still watch this over & over again. As a kid, it was really easy to be immersed in this movie. I have felt a little bit like Mikey, Data, Mouth, & Chunk many times. I just saw something about the original cast reuniting for a 25th anniversary celebration.
Gremlins – Who didn’t want a Mogwai after seeing this movie? Regardless of the danger, Gizmo would be the best pet ever. I actually remember the gremlins being kind of scary too. (Hey, I was 7 when this came out.)
The Monster Squad – This was like “Goonies vs. the Universal Monsters” to me… so, of course, I loved it. Mr. Alucard called for you. How scary is that? This made me want to start a monster club myself. I may just have to get this on Blu-ray… even thought I already have the VHS & DVD…
The Last Starfighter– The movie for anyone who’s ever imagined that they’re actually in a video game. Great plot-line for a kid who likes video games, or sci-fi. From what I understand, it was one of the first movies to have major use of computer generated graphics.
Batman (1989) – I remember thinking (even at a young age) “Michael Keaton? The guy from Mr. Mom, Gung Ho, & Beetlejuice?” I was as surprised as the rest of the world when it turned out to be the scariest and most awesome Batman movie to date. The comic book nerd in me was overly pleased with Nicholson’s Joker too. Even though he had always been portrayed in the comics as a lanky degenerate loon… Nicholson seemed to capture the spirit of insanity perfectly in that cool demeanor that only he could deliver.
Batman (1966) – I loved the TV show in reruns as a kid, it was like a 60’s comic come to life in all its campy glory. Plus, the Joker, Riddler, The Penguin, and Catwoman all in one movie? Wow! Ha ha ha. This one still has the coolest Batmobile.
Explorers – Space travel… with a home computer, a Tilt-A-Whirl car, and a junkyard. What’s not to love about this one? Again, to a kid, this all seemed quite plausible. This could have been “Goonies in Space”. Ha ha ha.
Leonard Part 6 – Part 6 of a nonexistent line of films… Bill Cosby fends off mutant vegetarians with magic meat. It burns them like holy water on vampires. That alone will make you want to watch this even though Cosby hated it and spoke out against seeing it while he was supposed to be promoting the film.
The Experts – Does anyone else remember this movie at all? There doesn’t seem to be much about it on the web. It’s classic 80’s comic Commie cheese. Two guys, one John Travolta and one other dude are somehow transplanted to a 1950’s style town in Russia set up as an experiment… where the people think they’re in 1950’s USA. It’s like Pleasantville, only not.
Cloak & Dagger – This was another one where you could really imagine being the kid in the film. This YouTube clip sums up the mood quite well. It’s a great kid-centered spy movie with a good deal of action, if I remember right.
Funny Farm – This has got to be one of the most absolutely hilarious movies ever. Andy Farmer is driven to the brink of insanity by an incredibly odd small town and a series of classic (& at the time still funny) Chevy Chase pratfalls. The telephone operator, Yellow Dog, mutton balls… all favorite movie moments.
WarGames – Yeah, I just wrote about this one. Every kid with a computer envisioned hacking into a government computer… or at least hacking into something… and this was all before the internet.
Flight of the Navigator – This movie is excellent. I know I wore out the VHS, and watched it every time I happened to catch it on TV. Alien abduction, a morphing spacecraft, time anomalies, government conspiracies. Intense!
E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial – I loved this move and still crave Reese’s Pieces every time I think about it. I wanted to build a communication device with my record player too. This movie probably started my distrust of the government.
Weird Science – Geek movie extreme, with that 80’s “my life will end if I don’t get laid” vibe. Less believable than WarGames, more believable than Explorers… Sort of. I never watched the TV show that this spawned, but the movie was a favorite. Oh yeah, the theme song was cool too!
Willow – Best fantasy movie ever? Maybe. It had a 2-headed dragon, sorcerers, a hero, an unwilling little-person hero, tiny funny guys, a villain that looked like Skeletor, and endless amounts of awesome.
Back to the Future Trilogy – If there was an order to this list, this would be very near the top. These movies were fast paced, exciting, and visually stunning. This is what movies should be like. Plus, Christopher Lloyd is bat-shit-nuts and that’s always entertaining.
Project X – As a kid, I loved monkeys, chimps, gorillas, and pretty much any primate. Pop them into an action thriller, and of course I was hooked. This is probably another reason why I distrust government so much.
Big Trouble in Little China – This movie is just ridiculous. Martial arts, Uzis, lightning bolts, and Kurt Russell. What more do you need to throw in to have a winning movie? Oh yeah, creepy monsters and a Chinese sorcerer. That’s what.
Indiana Jones Trilogy – Yeah, just the first 3 here… they were, after all, the only ones out when I was a child. Indiana Jones is the movie hero. The hat, the whip, the attitude… it’s iconic. These would also be at the top of an ordered list. I think that goes without saying.
The Last Dragon – Martial arts plus Motown. We used to watch this during lock-ins where I took Taekwondo as a kid. Bruce Leroy vs. Sho’Nuff had a very Jedi-like vibe, and there was lightning. This is super cheesy, but it’s what makes it a great flick. Sho’Nuff!!!
Coming to America – Ah. Once upon a time Eddie Murphy was funny, & not afraid to say dirty words. Sadly… this movie probably sparked the fat-suit movies to follow with Eddie and Arsenio playing multiple roles. But there are so many things in this film to love… McDowell’s, Soul Glo, Sexual Chocolate. Priceless.
Enter the Dragon – Bruce Lee’s final film, and (I think) the first one that I saw. What kid doesn’t love martial arts movies? The crazy mirrored room scene is my favorite.
Star Trek series – Yeah, I like both Star Wars and Star Trek. Star Wars is more awesome, but don’t get me started. In school, a lot of us nerdy kids were into Star Trek… the show, the movies, the shows that came after… it was awesome. The play between Kirk, Spock, & Bones gets better & better with each film in the series!
The Karate Kid– As a kid in a Taekwondo class, I loved these movies. All three were good, but especially the first one. (We’ll forget about The Next Karate Kid, and the new Jackie Chan one.) I wanted to be the Karate Kid, only in a Cobra Kai uniform. “Sweep the leg!”
Labyrinth – This movie still creeps me out. David Bowie’s Goblin King is more than a little creepy. The Muppets here are the stuff of nightmares… almost as bad as the ones in The Dark Crystal. This is like a darker Wizard of Oz type film… it really put me in another world.
The Dark Crystal – We need more creepy Muppet movies. Forget this GCI and 3-D stuff, I want puppets and stop-motion! I honestly can’t even tell you the full plot, but I watched this several times and loved it.
Just One of the Guys – I think this became a favorite just because I’ve seen it so many times. I mean, it was always on. And, there was like 3 seconds of boobs.
Short Circuit– Johnny 5 is alive! No disassemble! Very funny childlike innocence in a robot come to life thanks to a lightning bolt. Wacky comedic adventure, loved this one.
The Toy – If you’ve never seen this, I recommend going to get it right away… or any Pryor movie exceptSuperman III. It’s just fun & goofy. The Wonder-wheel is my favorite part. And, there’s a lesson in there somewhere…
Revenge of the Nerds – This movie made me want to be a nerd, if I wasn’t one already. The 2nd one wasn’t all that bad, ether. I think this made me want to start a nerd band too.
Police Academy series – I generally like all of these movies… I think I wanted to be Larvell Jones, or at least Zed. Heh. The eyebrow gag is the best… I love movies that are just goofy to be goofy.
“Crocodile Dundee”– For a while in the 80’s, there seemed to be this odd obsession with all things Australian. I don’t know if this was a cause of that or just another part of the wave, but I remember thinking how cool Australia was for quite a long time. It was a like a fresh quirky cowboy movie. The Simpsons episode where Bart prank calls Australia also pokes fun at this fascination.
The NeverEnding Story – What kid didn’t love this film when it came out? It was visually amazing, sad, exciting, a little scary… it was an incredible adventure. I bet Gmork would still scare me if I watched it now…
Don’t Tell Mom, The Babysitter’s Dead – This movie has two things; the line “The dishes are done, man!” and Christina Applegate. All I needed in 1991 was Christina Applegate. I would of watched 3 hours of her doing anything. Ha ha ha.
Predator – This movie was scary and thrilling. It has one of the best movie lines ever… Jesse Ventura’s “I Ain’t got time to bleed.” …as well as many others. This kind of film is so easy to get drawn into. I was in this world when watching this film. Heat vision? Invisibility? I think I wanted to be the Predator… ha ha ha.
Today, I was made aware (via ThinkGeekon Twitter) that this was the day in 1983 that the movie WarGames was released. This is one that’s at the top of my “favorite movies from my childhood” list.
When I was younger, the USSR was still around and there was this really weird thin Cold War line between them being the enemy or a friend. It was clear that our respective governments were unsure of the other, but the people in each place were just curious about each other. They were a great movie bad guy. Every stock film bad guy was a Communist from the USSR because they were so easy to identify and to fear.
WarGames not only appealed to the budding computer geek in me, but it really pointed out to me that maybe the Soviets weren’t the bad guy. Maybe we were. Maybe no one was. Plus, the whole machines taking over thing kind’ve messed with my little mind.
I was also fascinated with how he hacked a payphone. I never did get to try that out. (For the kids, this is a payphone.)
I know my parents had to spend mad cash on renting this VHS (and possibly Betamax, we had one of those first…) for me multiple times. I have it on DVD at home somewhere now. I rescued it from the Walmart $5 DVD mid-aisle bin.
I really recommend checking this out if you’ve never seen it or if you have no idea what I’m talking about. If you have seen it, go watch it again! (Hey – even Rotten Tomatoes likes it.)
I’m gonna have to make a “Favorite movies from my childhood” list.
Maybe I can convince the wife that we need to watch this tonight, to mark the occasion…
Yeah, it’s a stretch, but I wanted to share some more goodies. I made some Star Wars ringtones a while ago, and thought I’d share. If you don’t know how to get them to your phone, try Ventones.
Bentframe used to have a ton of stuff on mp3.com back when they actually hosted mp3’s and made CD’s for you. Now they’ve sort of disappeared… I wish I could get some more of these tracks on CD!
Well, I still haven’t gotten around to sending the snail mail version of my Spaceballs Special Edition in 3D idea… but I did pop it off to a few other email addresses. Of those, they did go to the dudes at Spaceballs: The Prequel. Sadly, as I write this, that site is no more. They seem so share my affinity for the odd, as illustrated by this excellent response…
from Aaron Dietz <aarondietz@gmail.com> to Arik Cearbhall <arikcearbhall@gmail.com> cc slave2moonlight@yahoo.com subject Re: Spaceballs 3D – featuring more Yum! Brands characters?
Friends and mighty allies,
It gives me great pain to share that Dark Quino and I (Dark Aaron) will be closing down spaceballstheprequel.com within a month. We thought a lot about the decision and ultimately decided to move on to other projects. This is not because a prequel or other way of furthering the Spaceballs franchise is not merit-worthy! On the contrary, it’s still a fine idea, and it should be done.
However, after many years of fighting the fight, we have agreed to let the project rest.
Sadly, Arik, we were never able to get a personal reply from Mel Brooks, or even anything substantial from his studio. We do take partial credit in promoting Spaceballs enough that they created an animated series for it, but that’s as far as we got.
I wish you the best of luck with your idea, Arik. It is worthy of many exclamation points!!!!!
Love the R2D2 parody-character–yes, let’s put the soul back into the franchise with the most important piece! And Argbar–oh my, there’s no way that wouldn’t be on YouTube, and in people’s heads, and everywhere. Argbar is my new favorite uncreated character. Nice work!
Best to you all. And keep in touch about Spaceballs news at my other e-mail address: aarondietz@gmail.com (darkaaron@spaceballstheprequel.com will soon be going away).
May the Schwartz be with you, always.
Aaron (no longer Dark Aaron)
Heh. That’s by far the best reply! Although, the letter from Michael Winslow’s agent saying that Michale would be involved is funny on a whole different level…
Thank you for the quick & informative reply, even though this doesn’t have much to do with you! Have you ever seen Spaceballs? Are you a Mel Brooks fan?
I really appreciate the corporate phone number, but do you have an email contact there? I prefer to communicate by email, as I have an intense fear of the telephone.
Good luck with your local Chick-fil-A, you’re consistently the most polite fast food chain, even via email!
Dink Dink, Dink Dink Dink… Dink. Dink. Dink,
Arik
And got another reply…
from Chick-fil-A South Hills <cfasouthhills@gmail.com>
to Arik Cearbhall <arikcearbhall@gmail.com>
subject Re: Spaceballs 3D – featuring more Yum! Brands characters?
Hello Arik. I do not have an email address for anyone because I am not sure who to send you to. Just call that 1-800-CFA-CARE number and ask for someone in the marketing department. That is what i would start with or they might be able to give you an email address. Since you are calling the corporate office, I was suggest actually calling at first.
Good luck,
Rebecca Thornsberry
Marketing Director
Chick-fil-A at South Hills
1620 Washington Road
Pittsburgh, PA 15241
Store- 412-833-1165
Cell- 412-443-5534 www.chick-fil-a.com/southhills
They’re so polite, even in their replies to obviously insane emails.
So, if you’ve been following the Yum! Brands saga, you know that I’ve been messing with them for a while on both legitimate and goofy levels, and that I had this idea a while ago. I finally acted upon it. I had to set up an alias to do it, as I’m sure most of my contacts just cringe when email from me hits their inbox. Mel Brooks either doesn’t have an email address, or it’s a closely guarded one… as it’s very difficult to find anything for him. I may have to print this out & snail mail it. I’m sure it has the potential to get a funny reply.
I see, your Shwatrz is as big as mine…
from: Arik Cearbhall <arikcearbhall@gmail.com> to: [All kinds of people] subject: Spaceballs 3D – featuring more Yum! Brands characters? mailed-by: gmail.com
Hello my friends,
At last we meet again for the first time for the last time.
I write to you today with a revelation regarding Spaceballs. It is my belief that something needs to be done before George Lucas releases Star Wars in 3D, Spaceballs needs to have a re-vamped special edition (like the Star Wars ones released in 1997), possibly even jumping in to 3D before Star Wars.
The reason that I’m writing to both “Yum! Brands” and MGM employees is because I can’t find a good email address for Mel Brooks. Does Mel have an email address?
MGM still owns the rights to the movie, correct? Also, I address “Yum!” because, as you well know, two characters that are parodies of “Yum! Brands” brands appear quite prominently in the Spaceballs saga. If you don’t know, here’s some help from Wikipedia:
Pizza the Hutt, named after the pizza restaurant chain, is a half-man, half-Pizza Mafioso and a parody of Jabba the Hutt. He forces Lone Starr to pay one million credits to him. By the end of the film, however, a “news segment” watched by Lone Starr and Barf reveals that Pizza got locked in his limo and ate himself to death, thus meaning Lone Starr and Barf won’t have to pay anymore. The voice of Pizza the Hutt is performed by Dom DeLuise.
Colonel Sandurz[8] is a parody of the leading Imperial Officers from Star Wars, such as Veers and Piett or Grand Moff Tarkin. ‘Colonel’ is his rank; however, ‘Kernel’ is his real name. His name is a pun on KFC‘s founder Colonel Sanders. (At one point, Dark Helmet taunts him into action, saying, “What’s the matter, Colonel Sandurz? Chicken?“)
I believe that the Schwartz has aligned because at the time of the filming of Spaceballs, these were parodies of two wholly separate fast food companies. (Or were PepsiCo or TriCon in control at that point?) Now, they are just two of many systems in the “Yum!” galaxy, if you will.
The opportunity exists to film news scenes and digitally insert new characters… and in the spirit of the original; “Moichandizing! Moichandizing! Moichandizing!” I still never did get Spaceballs, the flamethrower. We are at a point in time with advertising and merchandising where a once preposterously offensive idea would now be considered almost normal.
This could be a huge cross-promotional tie-in empire, and may even save MGM from its current financial woes. I propose a set of new characters, new scenes, and new toys/products…
New Characters:
AN-UU(pronounced “Ay – en – double – you”), the fearless side-kick to Dot Matrix. After all, this is the most obvious glaring omission from the original Spaceballs movie. Yeah, you can combine Luke & Han, but you can’t drop R2-D2! He is the undeniable (albeit mechanical) heart of the Star Wars franchise. Imagine, he could be like a little root-beer bottle or vending machine shaped droid.
Tako Juan Bellobi, Lone Star’s other mentor, who gives him the Schwartz ring saying it was his father’s, then sends him to Yogurt to learn how to use it. Living in a desert, the Mexican tie-in, a colorful Mexican-styled blanket instead of the Jedi robe… a “Stinking Badges” Blazing Saddles reference, a cojones joke or two, this could be a comedic gold mine.
Long Jon Argbar, arguably one of the most recognizable internet memes of all time would be Admiral Ackbar’s “It’s a Trap!”. This simply cannot be ignored. Long John Silver and Admiral Ackbar would be a perfect mix given their similar aquatic nature. I see the character almost like Davy Jones from Pirates of the Carribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. Also, if we want to get super nerdy, I have derived the name Argbar from (obviously) Ackbar and the Latin for silver, argentum. Tie in fictional pirates’ proclivity to exclaim “Argh” or “Arg” or “Arrrr”, and we have a win-win-win situation.
The Wing Fleet – Not a character per-say… but a play on Tie-fighters and X-Wings, a rebel alliance and empire (“Yum!”-pire?) ought to be created… legions of the Spaceballs’ fighters could be shaped like chicken wings and fly out of a large bucket on top of the ship.
(Please see my character design concepts in the attached *.jpg)
New Scenes/Bits/Gags:
To parody the interrogation scene from Star Wars: A New Hope and to tie into KFC’s new healthier image… Colonel Sandurz could “grill” Princess Vespa much like the “comb the desert” scene. Can you see the giant grill now? The lines on her back? Perhaps a smells/tastes like chicken joke?
In the “It’s a Trap” spirit… Long Jon Argbar’s shtick could be to exclaim “It’s a ___!” over & over again, perhaps stopping all the action and looking at the camera after a particularly bad one… and shrugging his shoulders before moving on with it. The blank could be many different things; Tap (in reference to AN-UU’s root beer tap perhaps?), Carp (an aquatic fish reference), frap (Mr. Coffee/Mr. Radar joke), or many, many more things… like Tarp, Part, Wrap, Crap, etc.
New Products & Tie Ins:
Yogurt – Perhaps most obviously, yogurt ought to be offered as a dessert item on all “Yum! Brands” restaurants’ menus… perhaps in collectible cups? Everyone’s into this health-food malarkey these days. Perhaps even frozen yogurt, as to not be so disgusting?
Toys – Obviously the toys associated with kids meals would be big hits with kids & collectors alike. The toys from all the chains could represent their parodied character and a few of his friends… needing to visit all of the chains to complete your collection… possibly even getting a part of the Spaceballs ship (Mega-Maid) at each chain that are all put together Voltron-style, much like the Transformers reference in the Spaceballs movie?
If you guys want to get crazy, we could reach out to Starbucks and infuse them into the Mr. Coffee scene, and replace all references to “spacebucks” as “starbucks”. Perhaps “Yum!” could acquire them before the release of the film?
As you can see, this is a no-brainer, and once you have had the time to review my email, and perhaps forward it to Mel Brooks and/or Brooksfilms Ltd., you will most assuredly be prepared to move along at ludicrous speed. There is no way to not make money with this. Star Wars fans will rabidly go after anything remotely associated to the movie, and most are geeks who love Mr. Brooks’ style of humor.
If new scenes need to be filmed, I’m sure Rick Moranis, Bill Pullman, George Wyner, Daphne Zungia, and the others would appreciate the work. Perhaps Barf could be wholly replaced by new hot funnyman Zach Galifianakis, as John Candy would be currently unavailable due to his deceased nature. You wouldn’t even need to add much fake fur to the costume. Have you seen the guy?
As far as my involvement, I expect nothing other than to be credited with the inception/inspiration of the project. I would just like to see it happen; perhaps a producer credit? From what I understand, those are mostly meaningless anyway.
I’d like to thank you for your time, and I’m sure you’re as excited about this as I am. These are the droids you’re looking for.
May the Schwartz be with you!
Arik
And, this was the attached photo…
I know, I have mad photo-editing skills. You don’t have to tell me.
As an afterthought, I felt that all of the other fast food chains out there shouldn’t be denied, so… I re-sent the message with this as a forward:
Hello friends,
I write to you to present an opportunity that may titillate your funny bone. I have recently written to Mel Brooks, MGM, and your competitor, “Yum! Brands” in the interest of putting together a “Special Edition” version of Spaceballs (perhaps in 3D) featuring new Fast Food related characters. I have not yet received a reply, but after it was sent, I felt that I had been leaving out many other fine establishments. Would you have any interest in participating in such a project? I can certainly come up with new character designs as a parody of your brands. I consider myself an expert on both Star Wars and fast food.
Please find my entire original message below, and see what you think as it pertains to you!
Hail Skroob!
Arik
Heh. This message actually got me the first few replies…
From a local Chick-fil-A:
from: Chick-fil-A South Hills <cfasouthhills@gmail.com> to: Arik Cearbhall <arikcearbhall@gmail.com> subject: Re: Spaceballs 3D – featuring more Yum! Brands characters? mailed-by: gmail.com
Hello Arik. My name is Rebecca Thornsberry and I am the Marketing Director for the Chick-fil-A at South Hills. Each store is individually owned and operated, so this sounds like something that you would have to get permission from our Corporate Office in Atlanta to do. If you feel like you’d like to pursue this, you could start with the 1-800-CFA-CORP. Thanks for offering this to us, but I am sorry that I cannot help you with this.
from: Creative Requests <creativerequests@quiznos.com> to: Arik Cearbhall <arikcearbhall@gmail.com> subject: RE: Spaceballs 3D – featuring more Yum! Brands characters? mailed-by: quiznos.com
I’m only writing you back to say that it is very inappropriate to include all recipients in the “TO” field and not the “BCC”. Not only is this SPAM mail – unwelcome and unsolicited – it allows anyone on this email to know the emails of all recipients.
Please DO NOT email this address again.
The first reply from anyone actually associated with the project:
from: roger paul <rogerpaulmgmt@aol.com> to: arikcearbhall@gmail.com subject: Re: Spaceballs 3D – featuring more Yum! Brands characters? mailed-by: aol.com
My client Michael Winslow would be up for the challenge
Roger Paul
1650 Broadway
Suite 1105
NY NY 10019
212-262-0008 Phone
212-333-5180 Fax
347-993-0939 Cell
Then we have… Silence from everyone else, so far. I can’t wait to get some more replies. I just may have to send out some snail mail on this one to the actors & studios. It is still early, hopefully more responses will pour in!
Heh. So I tweeted (to? at?) Sebastian Bach about his absence from the Slash album. I had wondered about it in my review because I could swear that I’d read something indicating that Baz was going to have a guest spot.
@sebastianbach At any rate, I’d love to see a Slash/Baz effort somewhere someday.
Heh. I didn’t want to come off as insulting, just really wanted to know what happened. It was one of the things going into the album that I had been looking forward to.
Sebastian Bach has revealed that Velvet Revolver guitarist Slash has contacted him about working on a ‘top secret project’ together.
The ex-Skid Row frontman denied rumours he’ll be taking Scott Weiland‘s place as the singer of Velvet Revolver, saying it would be “awkward” given his friendship with Slash‘s former Guns N’ Roses bandmate Axl Rose, who is no longer on good terms with the guitarist.
Bach told Billboard he’s been sworn to secrecy about the new project, but said it was “mind-blowing”.
But he did confirm that VR guitarist Slash did contact him “out of the blue … to talk to me about working together, but it was not Velvet Revolver. It was a completely different project, and I can’t tell you what it is ’cause it’s mind-blowing, but I’ve been sworn to secrecy on that. But nothing’s happening right now with me and him.”
In a typically breathless announcement, former Skid Row singer Sebastian Bach says guitarist Slash has contacted him “out of the blue” about a “top-secret job”–though despite rumors and all logic to the contrary, it was not to invite him to replace Scott Weiland as the frontman for Velvet Revolver. Such a move would be “awkward,” Bach says, considering his friendship with Slash’s estranged former partner Axl Rose. (Though, uh, apparently there’s a loophole that still allows him to be a part of whatever this mystery project is.) Practically begging you to care, Bach was not particularly forthcoming with details, saying only that he was “sworn to secrecy,” but did insist that, whatever it is, it’s “mind-blowing.”
Slash was quoted saying that the work alone in the studio on the solo album was “cathartic”, and that he really enjoyed working alone in the studio. He also said he plans to bring a different singer for each song on the album, and that he has a list of guests to appear on the album, and most of them are already committed, though he refused to tell who are those guests. Rumored singers for the project include Lenny Kravitz, Sebastian Bach, Alice Cooper, Vince Neil, and past Guns N’ Roses bandmates Izzy Stradlin and Duff McKagan.[22] According to Slash’s wife during an interview with Rockerrazzi.com, both Ozzy Osbourne and Fergie will make appearances on Slash’s upcoming solo album, saying, “It’s going to be Slash and friends, with everyone from Ozzy [Osbourne] to Fergie.”[23] Other musicians set to appear on the release include Josh Freese, Chris Chaney, Travis Barker, M. Shadows and Jason Bonham.[24]
I guess a lot of those names from the “rumored” list didn’t make the cut, or were just that — rumors from the start. At least now I have validation that I didn’t dream the idea. I mean, news came out that they would work together outside of a Velvet Revolver context, and soon after Slash started talking more heavily about his solo album… What other conclusions are we to draw?
There is the possibility that it fell through due to scheduling, not having a great song lined up, or some ominous Axl-related conspiracy.
Maybe he was slated to tour with Slash’s in support of the disc instead of Myles Kennedy?
Or, there is the possibility that the rumored project is much more “mind blowing” than just a solo album and yet to happen. Perhaps it’s a concert? Video? Movie? Super-group? Book? Collaboration? Reality show? Documentary? Bach being instrumental in reuniting Axl, Slash, & the rest of GN’R?
Who knows?
At any rate, I didn’t mean to insult you, Mr. Bach. I just wanted to know what was up. I enjoy following you on Twitter, and I really dug Angel Down. I also think that it’s awesome that you take the time to interact with & reply to fans, obviously being a rock n’ roll fanboy at heart yourself.
I’m told that means “Happy St. Patrick’s Day” or more accurately “Blessings of St. Patrick’s Day upon ye!”. I hope that’s right. Today, we celebrate Irish heritage. How the holiday’s become that, I have no idea. I’d like to share with you some Irish toasts, blessing, song, & food. If you’re not of Irish descent, well… we’ll forgive for just one day. As long as you forgive me for skipping the Guinness and sticking to the Smithwick’s.
Irish toasts & blessings…
A family of Irish birth will argue and fight,
But let a shout come from without and see them all unite.
Always remember to forget
The troubles that passed away.
But never forget to remember
The blessings that come each day.
An Irishman is never drunk
as long as he can hold on to
one blade of grass and not
fall off the face of the earth.
As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction!
Bless your little Irish heart — and every other Irish part.
From the great Gales of Ireland
Are the men that God made mad,
For all their wars are merry
And all their songs are sad.
Grant me a sense of humor, Lord,
the saving grace to see a joke,
To win some happiness from life,
And pass it on to other folks.
Here’s a toasting to his health.
But not too many toastings
Lest you lose yourself and then
Forget the good Saint Patrick
And see all those snakes again.
Here’s to a sweetheart, a bottle, and a friend.
The first beautiful, the second full, the last ever faithful.
Here’s to you and yours,
And to mine and ours,
And if mine and ours ever come
Across you and yours,
I hope you and yours will do
As much for mine and ours,
As mine and ours have done
For you and yours!
Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one.
A pretty girl and an honest one.
A cold pint– and another one!
Here’s to the land of the shamrock so green,
Here’s to each lad and his darlin colleen,
Here’s to the ones we love dearest and most.
May God bless old Ireland, that’s this Irishman’s toast!
Here’s to women’s kisses,
and to whiskey, amber clear;
Not as sweet as a woman’s kiss,
but a darn sight more sincere!
Here’s to women’s kisses,
and to whiskey, amber clear;
Not as sweet as a woman’s kiss,
but a darn sight more sincere!
I drink to your health when I’m with you,
I drink to your health when I’m alone,
I drink to your health so often,
I’m starting to worry about my own!
I have known many,
and liked not a few,
but loved only one
and this toast is to you.
May God grant you always…
A sunbeam to warm you,
A moonbeam to charm you,
A sheltering angel, so nothing can harm you.
May good luck be your friend
In whatever you do
And may trouble be always
A stranger to you.
May joy and peace surround you,
Contentment latch your door,
And happiness be with you now
And bless you evermore.
May misfortune follow you the rest of your life, and never catch up.
May neighbours respect you,
Trouble neglect you,
The angels protect you,
And heaven accept you.
May the face of every good news and the back of every bad news be towards us.
May the good saints protect you
And bless you today
And may troubles ignore you
Each step of the way
May the grass grow long on the road to hell for want of use.
May the hinges of our friendship never grow rusty.
May the leprechauns be near you,
To spread luck along your way.
And may all the Irish angels,
Smile upon you on St. Patrick’s Day.
May the lilt of Irish laughter Lighten every load,
May the mist of Irish magic Shorten every road,
May you taste the sweetest pleasures That fortune ere bestowed,
And may all your friends remember all the favors you are owed.
May the luck of the Irish
Lead to happiest heights
And the highway you travel
Be lined with green lights.
May the lilt of Irish laughter lighten every load.
May the mist of Irish magic Shorten every road…
And may all your friends remember
All the favours you are owed!
May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
May the rocks in your field turn to gold.
May the roof above you never fall in,
And those gathered beneath it never fall out.
May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past.
May the winds of fortune sail you,
May you sail a gentle sea.
May it always be the other guy
who says, “this drink’s on me.”
May you be in heaven a full half hour before the devil knows your dead.
May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings,
slow to make enemies and quick to make friends.
And may you know nothing but happiness from this day forward.
May you get all your wishes but one, so that you will always have something to strive for!
May you have food and raiment,
a soft pillow for your head.
May you be forty years in heaven
before the devil knows you’re dead.
May you have the hindsight to know where you’ve been,
The foresight to know where you are going,
And the insight to know when you have gone too far.
May you have the hindsight to know where you’ve been,
the foresight to know where you’re going,
and the insight to know when you’ve gone too far.
May you have warm words on a cold evening, a full moon on a dark night, and a smooth road all the way to your door.
May you live as long as you want and never want as long as you live.
May you live to be 100 years, with one extra year to repent.
May you never find trouble
All crowdin’ and shovin’
But always good fortune
All smilin’ and lovin’
May you taste the sweetest pleasures that fortune ere bestowed,
And may all your friends remember all the favors you are owed.
May your heart be light and happy,
May your smile be big and wide,
And may your pockets always have
a coin or two inside!
May your home always be too small to hold all your friends.
May your home be filled with laughter
May your pockets be filled with gold
And may you have all the happiness
Your Irish heart can hold.
May your mornings bring joy
and your evenings bring peace…
May your troubles grow less
as your blessings increase!
May your pockets be heavy—
Your heart be light,
And may good luck pursue you
Each morning and night.
May your pockets be heavy—
Your heart be light,
And may good luck pursue you
Each morning and night.
May your right hand always be stretched out in friendship and never in want.
May your troubles be less
And your blessing be more
And nothing but happiness
Come through your door
My friends are the best friends
Loyal, willing and able.
Now let’s get to drinking!
All glasses off the table!
Saint Patrick was a gentleman,
Who through strategy and stealth,
Drove all the snakes from Ireland,
That the tap may be open when it rusts!
There are good ships,
and there are wood ships,
The ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships, are friendships,
And may they always be.
We drink to your coffin. May it be built from the wood of a hundred year old oak tree that I shall plant tomorrow.
When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let’s all get drunk, and go to heaven!
Wherever you go and whatever you do, May the luck of the Irish be there with you.
Here’s to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking!
If you cheat, may you cheat death.
If you steal, may you steal a woman’s heart.
If you fight, may you fight for a brother.
And if you drink, may you drink with me. … Slainte!
May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings, slow to make enemies, quick to make friends. But rich or poor, quick or slow, may you know nothing but happiness from this day forward.
May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live.
May the strength of three be in your journey.
May the sound of happy music, And the lilt of Irish laughter, fill your heart with gladness, that stays forever after.
Here’s to me, and here’s to you,
And here’s to love and laughter-
I’ll be true as long as you,
And not one moment after.
There are many good reasons for drinking,
One has just entered my head-
If a man doesn’t drink when he’s living,
How the hell can he drink when he’s dead?
May you always have walls for the winds,
a roof for the rain, tea beside the fire,
laughter to cheer you, those you love near you,
and all your heart might desire.
May you have love that never ends,
lots of money, and lots of friends.
Health be yours, whatever you do,
and may God send many blessings to you!
May the sun shine, all day long,
everything go right, and nothing wrong.
May those you love bring love back to you,
and may all the wishes you wish come true!
May you have:
A world of wishes at your command.
God and his angels close to hand.
Friends and family their love impart,
and Irish blessings in your heart!
May you have warm words on a cold evening,
a full moon on a dark night,
and the road downhill all the way to your door.
For each petal on the shamrock.
This brings a wish your way
Good health, good luck, and happiness
For today and every day.
May the embers from the open hearth warm your hands,
May the sun’s rays from the Irish sky warm your face,
May the children’s bright smiles warm your heart,
May the everlasting love I give you warm your soul.
May you always have work for your hands to do.
May your pockets hold always a coin or two.
May the sun shine bright on your windowpane.
May the rainbow be certain to follow each rain.
May the hand of a friend always be near you.
And may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.
May your thoughts be as glad as the shamrocks,
May your heart be as light as a song,
May each day bring you bright, happy hours,
That stay with you all the year long.
May joy and peace surround you,
Contentment latch your door,
And happiness be with you now,
And bless you evermore.
May the saint protect ye-
An’ sorrow neglect ye,
An’ bad luck to the one
That doesn’t respect ye
t’ all that belong to ye,
An long life t’ yer honor-
That’s the end of my song t’ ye!
May good luck be your friend
In whatever you do.
And may trouble be always
A stranger to you.
May your blessings outnumber
The Shamrocks that grow.
And may trouble avoid you
Wherever you go.
May your troubles be less,
And your blessing be more.
And nothing but happiness,
Come through your door.
And some Irish song…
This one’s from Seamus Kennedy, you need to check him out if he’s ever on tour in a pub or a festival near you!
Saint Patrick was a gentleman,
Who through strategy and stealth,
Drove all the snakes from Ireland,
Here’s a toasting to his health.
But not too many toastings
Lest you lose yourself and then
Forget the good Saint Patrick
And see all those snakes again.
World (and Lunar) Domination 