Tag Archives: World (and Lunar) Domination

Wendy’s Forgot How to Melt Cheese 🤷

Posted on by Standard 3

Well, I’m on my old bullshit again. This is the part where I take an incredibly trivial thing that happened, and blow it wildly out of proportion. This is World (and Lunar) Domination. That joke is so old, the MySpace blog that initiated it is lost to time. I blame it all on my reading Idiot Letters.

I forgot that I blogged about Wendy’s not that long ago by sharing a pair of glorious Google Maps reviews. I guess I blogged about them way back in 2009 too. They never replied, apparently. Maybe I pick on them too much? Like this fork fail in 2012!

Sometimes I get responses, sometimes I don’t… but the mazes are fun. Aren’t they? (I’m looking at you Pizza Hut! Yes, you! I saw that dirty delete. But you too, La Choy, Pepperidge Farm, Aldi, & The Potato Conglomerate!)

I sent an email to Wendy’s the other day… via their customer service email. It was such a canned response, I got it twice. I used Gemini, ChatGPT, & Perplexity to help identify their executives and guess their email syntax, but I suppose I was blocked as spam for trying to email them all at once. And maybe for this attachment.

Wendy's Maze - They Need Help Melting Cheese

This is what I wrote…

From: Eric Aixelsyd<aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com>
Date: Sun, Jun 1, 2025 at 11:11 PM
Subject: Wendy’s, are you OK? (Bridgeville, PA)
To: <customercare@wendys.com>, <kirk.tanner@wendys.com>
Cc: <digital@wendys.com>, <compliance@wendys.com>, <mediarelations@wendys.com>, <privacy@wendys.com>, <InvestorRelations@wendys.com>, <customercare@wendys.com>, <abigail.pringle@wendys.com>, <liliana.esposito@wendys.com>, <carl.loredo@wendys.com>, <mary.greenlee@wendys.com>, <coley.obrien@wendys.com>, <john.min@wendys.com>, <lindsay.radkoski@wendys.com>

Hello Ladies & Gentlemen of Wendy’s,

I write to you today with great concern.  Your location in Bridgeville Pennsylvania (which some locals on Facebook & Nextdoor will pedantically yet vehemently point out is in Collier Township and not Bridgeville proper) is in what could be fairly considered shambles.  The dining room is not clean.  There are no baked potatoes about ⅓ of the time when I try to order them.  Wait times for orders in the app can be excessive.  Earlier today, we stopped in for what we thought would be a quick early relaxing dinner after catching Karate Kid: Legends at the local movie theater. 

We should have ordered in the app.  That was my first mistake.  We ordered at the register and I asked if I could have a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger, then a bacon & cheese baked potato.  After a long pause, the cashier looked to the kitchen and yelled to ask if there were any potatoes.  A disembodied voice answered “NO!“, so the cashier  laughed, looked at  me and repeated the rather rude “NO!”  Another long awkward pause later, I guessed I would take fries and an Iced Tea.  Well, my second surprise was that there is no more fresh brewed iced tea, but the swill that comes from the magical flavor selector Coca~Cola machine.

My wife did the rest of the ordering for her and the kids, and somehow it turned into a debacle much like the famous Abbott & Costello Who’s On First? bit… with items being grouped weird, & lacking a cup for water as well as notes to hold lettuce, tomato, & onion on a Dave’s single.  The shift manager had to be called over twice with an “I need your thumb!” while people behind us gathered & were wholly ignored.  In this kerfuffle, an employee noted the homemade “We need your $1’s” sign scrawled on an 8″x10″ sheet of paper.  The cashier adamantly expressed “We need that!” and a split second later, the shift manager angrily ripped it off the counter to the astonishment of the cashier.  This sign has been a feature there and at the drive-through window since COVID.  Who the hell pays in cash?

I think we technically stole a cup for water, but at total of $52.68 for four people, perhaps you can forgive us.  I mean, at this point who is robbing who?  If necessary, I will send a check to make it right.  Do people still use checks?  Maybe I can Venmo you.

Let me add some more context.  We got our burgers, chicken sandwiches, and sad french fries.  I chose Cherry Coke instead of tea, no big deal.  Since I had to settle for fries, I tried to get ketchup.  Both pumps were empty.  There was what I can only assume was a store manager sitting talking on the phone at the table literally closest to the ketchup dispensers who made no attempts to correct the issue.  I assume this was a store manager as he appeared to interview some poor unwitting soul who came in as I was trying to goad the last salvageable bits of sugary tomato sustenance out of their final home.  My wife, who was waiting for the kids’ Frosty shakes, told the cashier that the ketchup pumps were both empty and she was literally thrown some ketchup packets.  For the time allotted, it appears that the cows were milked fresh to create the ice cream.  I didn’t know there was that much room behind the fryers back there.  I commend your commitment to quality.

Now we get to the point that I just can’t get past.  I can sadly yet honestly overlook all of the above and chalk it up to a standard fast food experience these days.  What though, I’m sure you are wondering, could possibly have lodged itself so snugly in my proverbial craw?  Cheese.

That’s right, cheese.  How, my friends, does a restaurant that specializes in cheeseburgers… serve 4 sandwiches and not one of them has a slice of cheese that is remotely melted?  American cheese too!  If you look at American cheese too hard, it starts to melt.  I could maybe even give you that the Asiago on the chicken sandwiches had a higher melting point.  But, how tepid were those beef & chicken patties that it didn’t melt the cheese?  Shouldn’t the buns also be toasted on the grill?  Like cheese added to the burger on the grill and covered with a lid so it melts the cheese with steam?  Shouldn’t the chicken have come out of the fryer so hot that the cheese melted instantly upon contact?  Given the temperament of the employees, you can see why I didn’t dare complain then & there, lest I get cheese melted by being nestled in an armpit (or worse).

I really would like to know step-by-step what process you have for making burgers?  It surely could not have been followed properly in this instance.  

Also, are you OK?  How is this permissible or even passable?  Is no one from corporate checking on these locations?  Is there no oversight or secret shopper type program?  If there is, are these standards being met?  If you peep the Google reviews, the people have spoken.  It used to be that if a restaurant was out of something, they’d offer a discount for next time, a free item, or literally anything other than a blank stare.  I am not looking for free food.  I’m looking for a dining experience that matches the money paid, and this was definitely not it.

I have attached a maze for you.  It illustrates my frustration while attempting to bring some levity to the situation.  Perhaps while you try to navigate the correct maze path, you can contemplate the correct path to get this Wendy’s back on track.  Do we need to call Gordon Ramsay or Robert Irvine?  I really like a Wendy’s burger when it’s proper.  It’s got a great beef taste and used to have consistent quality.  The potatoes are great, but sometimes they too suffer from the cheese problem when the cheese sauce is topped with the shredded cheese.  I miss broccoli as an option for potato toppings.  They used to come out so hot that the steam could burn your face when you opened the container.  I miss those days.  Are customers too stupid now to avoid the steam?

I still just can’t understand how you can serve a cheeseburger without melted cheese at a restaurant founded on burgers.  🤯  What happened?  I remember the glory days of sun rooms, the salad & toppings bar.  How did we come to this?

I thank you for your time, and I appreciate you if you have managed to read this far.  I hope you find the time to respond, and I look forward to your thoughts.

Inquisitively.

-Eric

—

aixelsyd13.wordpress.com

This is what I got back:

From: Wendy’s Customer Care <customercare@wendys.com>
Date: Mon, Jun 2, 2025 at 12:21 PM
Subject: Wendy’s Customer Care [ thread::hsjDn4hRf3SLz4W3oE9RSDc:: ]
To: aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com <aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com>

Dear Eric,

Thank you very much for taking the time to let us know about your recent Wendy’s experience.

At Wendy’s, we strive to delight every customer. When your experience falls short, we are committed to making it right.

The details of your experience have been recorded in our system and shared with the franchise leadership team in charge of this restaurant. We hope you experience the quality and service that we expect on your next visit.

We have added a We Got You $ off in-app offer to your mobile account to use at any Wendy’s location. This offer is valid for 30 days from the date it was added. To find the offer from the Home page of the Wendy’s App, tap the ‘Offers’ option on the bottom menu bar. Then scroll to the bottom of the offers page and select the We Got You in-app offer. We recommend you check that the offer is applied before completing your order.

Thank you for sharing your experience with us and for being a Wendy’s customer!

Regards,

The Wendy’s Company

And then, I had to write to them again! I went a few days later, to a different Wendy’s, in a different state, to get a breakfast sandwich with that credit. Again… NO MELTED CHEESE! What is going on here? Who would happily eat this nonsense? Who would make a sandwich like that and think that’s OK? Apparently, everyone, at every Wendy’s, everywhere.

I did the survey on the receipt, and got this:

From: Moundsville 391 <moundsville00391@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, Jun 4, 2025 at 10:15 AM
Subject: Following Up
To: AiXeLsyD13(at)gmail.com <AiXeLsyD13(at)gmail.com>

Hello Eric, 

My name is Ryder and I am contacting you on behalf of Moundsville Wendy’s. We got your feedback about a recent visit and just wanted to thank you for the feedback, we strive to serve every customer to the best of our abilities. We would be glad to give you a replacement meal. 

Best Regards,

Ryder

I replied to that including my maze, and got nothing. I wrote about it to corporate again, and got THE SAME EXACT RESPONSE as the first email. I got $10 credit the 1st time, and $% the second time. I don’t want free food, I want good food. They won’t acknowledge the maze. Neither will their snarky Threads and 𝕏 Twitter accounts. 🤣 No response from FB Messenger, either.

View on Threads
https://www.threads.com/embed.js

I may have to move to snail mail.

Have any advice or similar experience?

Oh, I almost forgot. How are they going to make a burger with grilled cheese sandwiches as buns if they can’t melt cheese? This is absolute shenanigans.

Will Teriyaki Tenacity Lead to Teriyaki Triumph?

Posted on by Standard 1

This morning, I was emboldened by a comment on an old blog post where I drew a maze and sent it to Conagra to accuse them of lying to the people about discontinuing their delicious Teriyaki sauce in favor of pushing a gross one filled with seeds.

Commenter Cory told me that there is a Change.org petition to bring it back. My most-likely delusional headcanon is that I definitely got Totino’s to change their microwave instructions. So, of course, we will push this forward so I can restore my Teriyaki stuff to its former glory. Here, we double-down on things that really have no consequence or significance. This is World (and Lunar) Domination.

The closest thing I have found is the Essential Everyday brand that I got from Shop ‘n Save, and there are always rumors of them closing and becoming yet another Giant Eagle.

If you’re also a fan of inconsequential chaos and delicious Teriyaki, please follow the saga, and sign the petition!

Others have awakened:

Also, try to solve the maze, and post in the comments or post it & tag me (& Conagra) on social media!

Is AI music toothpaste out of the tube?

Posted on by Standard Reply

So, I guess I had no idea that AI music was as advanced as it is. I assumed the stuff I saw on social medial was from paid or sophisticated programs. I have been monkeying casually with text prompts at ChatGPT or Meta AI, and image generators at DALL-E 2, Craiyon, & in the PicsArt app for a while. Luma AI even animates photos in the creepiest way possible. I have recently started messing with Google’s Gemini, too.

While the first two AI song generators that popped up when I googled did not require me to download an app or pay any money, I was able to have them bang out a song in less than a minute. The second one even let me insert lyrics, so I used ChatGPT & Gemini to write lyrics. Of course I chose punk rock, and the subject matter was just me poorly describing the blog. This stuff is wild.

The prompt was: “World (and Lunar) Domination” a punk rock song about drawing mazes and writing goofy letters.

For some reason, I can’t seem to embed these ones. 🤷

AI Music Factory automatically spits out 2 songs from the same prompts.

All of the songs are generic pop punk, street punk, and a weird attempt at some uncanny valley-ish horns. They are formulaic pop punk, of which I could certainly be accused of doing when I was actively playing in bands. The weird part is that is not all that dissimilar from my actual creative output. The lyrics have some interesting ideas & hooks too, if I’m being honest. Does that mean I am a terrible and generic songwriter? Perhaps my lack of commercial success in that area speaks to that. 😆

Self-depreciating humor aside, I feel like I have been involved in the creation of some fun, silly, & kick-ass music, and I was never really doing it for financial gain or recognition. It was an itch that I needed to scratch. I needed to make art via punk rock.

The above songs are derivative of a thousand different punk bands, but the one vocalist sounds oddly like Bad Religion. All of it is stealing from something though. Is it scouring the whole internet? Is it using Spotify, YouTube, Pandora, Apple Music, or Amazon Music? Is it creeping on hard drives in home studios or at record companies?

I feel like this is really close to having the ability to be passed off as a real band. It even reminds me of Crotchduster,

Is it theft, or inspiration? I would not have picked up a guitar and tried to write punk rock songs if I had not heard the Ramones & the Misfits doing what they did. Led Zeppelin’s entire catalog is arguably not entirely derivative of everything that passed through Jimmy Page’s earholes. (I mean, George Lucas did the same thing with Star Wars – it was just Flash Gordon, The Seven Samurai, The Hidden Fortress, & Dune.)

It can be argued that the music is soulless. I get that. I need music to move me in some way, in order to feel that connection. There are already lots of human generated songs out there that don’t really hit me that way. It’s terrible when a song evokes no emotion. I feel that way about Nickelback, even though it’s unironically cool to like them now. Ha ha.

In keeping with the theme of this post, I also used a bunch of AI image generators with various prompts about my blog, and got some weird weird wild stuff. None of them seem to accurately display text whatsoever at all… but the compositions, colors, & design choices are interesting. Is is stolen work though?

It was said that Robin Williams was notorious for stealing bits, but I have read/heard that he was always “on,” and just pulling in ideas and churning out jokes at a constant speed… he may not have realized that his thoughts weren’t entirely his own. But then again, were they? Everything we think, say, & do is a response to our own audio & visual input. (And, all the other senses.)

If AI is putting something out, and the way it “senses” is browsing the internet, what’s wrong with that? Is it stealing because it is not alive? Is it just a tool like a paintbrush or a calculator? Is AI song generation different than loops or sampling or guitar pedals that drastically change a tone?

Images generated by various AI image generators, with prompts pretty much just describing my blog.

🤘🐈‍⬛🎸

Because every single one of my thoughts also has an incomprehensibly tangential aside, I just did this as the idea came to me while blogging:

𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖍 𝖒𝖊𝖙𝖆𝖑 𝖐𝖎𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖓 𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖌 – I had ChatGPT write those lyrics a long time ago to be silly. It deleted the chat from the history as it found the content to perhaps be “inappropriate.” Luckily I grabbed a screenshot. I just used my last freebie at AI Music Factory to make this, and unlike with the other songs, I actually downloaded the mp3’s because I find it wildly amusing. AI plays guitar better than Kerry King.

A gothic metal style painting of an adorable black kitten dining with a fork and a knife, created by Meta AI as an album cover for a song generated by an AI song generator.
“FEED THE KITTEN” album art by Meta AI
Claws like razors, eyes like night My little beast, always ready to fight Hungry and restless, a bundle of fury I open the can, to feed the furry Feeding my kitten, hear her growl Tiny teeth and a vicious scowl Feeding my kitten, blood and meat Ripping and tearing, nothing sweet Pouncing and hissing, she's always keen Greedily slurping, the viscous cream Bones and gristle, she loves the gore My little predator, always wants more Feeding my kitten, hear her growl Tiny teeth and a vicious scowl Feeding my kitten, hear her growl Tiny teeth and a vicious scowl Feeding my kitten, blood and meat Ripping and tearing, nothing sweet Pouncing and hissing, she's always keen Greedily slurping, the viscous cream Bones and gristle, she loves the gore My little predator, always wants more Feeding my kitten, hear her growl Tiny teeth and a vicious scowl Feeding my kitten, blood and meat Ripping and tearing, nothing sweet My little monster, a killing machine Feeding frenzy, a fearsome scene No mercy, no pity, no retreat My kitten's hunger, can never be beat!
“Feed The Kitten” by ChatGPT

So, did I just write a song? No. But… I had the idea for one. It, much like my own artistic output, was a silly idea. (I was always sad that Gasoline Dion never completed songs that we were working on, including but not limited to “667, Across the Street From the Beast” and the ever poetic line “Let me put my meat hook in your beef curtains.”)

I just let my 10yo daughter hear the metal kitten song. She laughed and said it sounds like everything else I listen to (she’s a Taylor Swift fan). When I told her it was AI generated in under a damn minute & that ChatGPT wrote the lyrics, her eyes got wide and was all “That’s not good…”

She immediately understood the implications. Anyone could make a hit album. We could all be Milli Vanilli. Even better, you could probably create a video avatar of an artist or band. I haven’t delved into AI generated video past the tiny Luma AI clips.

Would using AI as a muse, or to flesh out partial lyric ideas be “wrong?” Are we in an era like the early days of sampling where soon someone will figure out how to give artists royalties for music or artwork being fed into AI? I know there are already cases out there. I also know you can’t copyright AI images. Not sure about music, though? I know Mötley Crüe was accused of using AI to write songs.

Will commercials, social media, radio, TV, & movies forgo traditional composers and just make their own jingles, scores, & soundtracks?

It was fun to play with, but do I like it enough that I will pay for it? I doubt it. I can’t think of a practical use for myself other than making a fictional band or something… and who would want AI generated crap content right now? If I paid to put it on streaming services (if you can even copyright it), how would that generate income or even be sustainable? Live shows would be (for now) out of the question. I don’t think it would “feel good” to put that out, like it does to release actual music you created. Maybe kids will dig AI music in the future… or our eventual robot overlords might.

Because I can’t stop, Luma AI animations of AI generated images:

OK, I went back & messed with Udio again. I found where you could pop in the kitten lyrics from Chat GPT. I do not like the output nearly as much, but it’s still pretty wild:

So, what are your thoughts on AI generated stories, art, music, & video? Are we in the wild west? Do you use any of it? If you do use it, what sites/apps, and to what end? Please, hit up the comments!

Oh yeah, those sites automatically generated videos I could download too.

Conagra Ruins Christmas.

Posted on by Standard 1

Well, the tweets from before were apparently incorrect. The La Choy teriyaki variety that I liked has been discontinued. I emailed Conagra via webform and found a bunch of names and tried to garner email addresses online, which worked on at least 2 counts. I also got some replies from various grocery stores.

No one tried the maze though. You read my email, right?

Here are my replies from Conagra:

From: Conagra Consumer Care consumer.care@conagra.com
Date: Tue, Dec 19, 2023 at 1:03 PM
Subject: LA CHOY Consumer Care Response: Case # 06631637 [ ref:!00D800cIJR.!500QU02afd0:ref ]
To: [me]

Hello Eric,

Thank you so much for taking the time to reach out to us regarding the La Choy Teriyaki Sauce. There was obvious passion in your correspondence, both for the former product you preferred and for the current product that does not meet your expectations. We’d like to offer some background and what we hope is a worthy alternative.

Previously we produced both the La Choy Teriyaki Marinade and Sauce that you enjoyed, and the La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade. With two similar sauces available, earlier this year we discontinued production of the La Choy Teriyaki Marinade and Sauce. We work with grocery stores and other retail partners to optimize our product assortment. Through these conversations, we often need to make decisions about discontinuing products. These are difficult decisions, as we know a discontinued product can be a disappointment to consumers.

We appreciate your candid feedback on the current La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade. This feedback was shared with our brand team and will go to our internal culinary team as well. Every piece of consumer input is valuable to us.

Within the Conagra Brands portfolio, we also offer PF Chang’s Home Menu, and we hope their Teriyaki Sauce is one that you’ll enjoy. PF Chang’s Home Menu is inspired by the tastes and high-quality ingredients of PF Chang’s bistros. The Teriyaki Sauce is part of a collection of sauces we introduced a few years ago, and if you’re interested in trying it, we’d be happy to send you a few bottles. If this would be ok, please reply to this email with your complete mailing address, and if applicable, please include the Unit or Apt. #.

Thank you again for your loyalty to the La Choy brand and the time you spent providing us feedback. Both are appreciated.

Sincerely,

Julie
Conagra Brands Consumer Care

Case: 06631637

1-800-722-1344

http://www.conagrabrands.com
Conagra Brands * Chicago, IL 60654


From: Conagra Consumer Care [consumer.care@conagra.com]
Sent: 12/11/2023, 1:43 PM
To: [me]
Subject: LA CHOY Consumer Care Response: Case # 06631637 [ ref:!00D800cIJR.!500QU02afd0:ref ]

Hello Eric,

Thank you for reaching out to Ms. Schaefer’s office to let us know you were a fan of our LA CHOY TERIYAKI MARINADE AND SAUCE.

From time to time we reformulate our product recipes, this also includes how consumer preferences change over time. Unfortunately, it’s no longer available but we’ll make sure to share your comments regarding your request to bring back the older formulation with appropriate personnel.

If you have any further questions, please don’t hesitate to contact our supervisors at 1-800-722-1344, between the hours of 9:00 A.M. and 4:00 P.M. CST, Monday through Thursday, and between the hours of 9:00 A.M. and 1:00 P.M. CST, on Fridays. Please give reference number 06631637 to the supervisor who answers your phone call. If a supervisor isn’t available, please leave a voicemail with your name and reference number. A supervisor should return your call within 48 business hours.

Thanks again for taking the time to share your feedback.

Sincerely,

Julie
Conagra Brands Consumer Care

Case: 06631637

1-800-722-1344

http://www.conagrabrands.com

Conagra Brands * Chicago, IL 60654

They really don’t get that I am never calling them. This is why I write goofy emails.

And updates via X:

I no tpe suh gewd.

And the only good responses from a grocery store…

From: Guest Relations guest.relations@target.com
Date: Mon, Dec 11, 2023 at 4:12 PM
Subject: Your Inquiry to Target.com Executive Offices
To: [me]

Hello Eric,

Thank you for contacting Target about your experience. I received a copy of your email from our executive offices along with a request to reach out.

Thanks for asking about this “La Choy Teriyaki Sauce and Marinade” we understand you are interested to know if we carry or plan on carrying this. I do apologize, but we do not have this item available in our assortment and at this time we do not have any additional information to share regarding future availability. To view the wide variety of other Teriyaki sauces we do carry please click here.

We appreciate you reaching out and sharing interest with this item. I’ll be sure to share your comments with our buyers.

Sincerely,

Mercedes

Target Guest Relations

Executive Contact Team
http://www.target.com

From: Melissa (Fresh Thyme) support@freshthyme.zendesk.com
Date: Sat, Dec 9, 2023 at 10:50 AM
Subject: [Fresh Thyme] Re: La Choy Teriyaki Sauce & Marinade
To: [me]

Your request (26880) has been updated. To add additional comments, reply to this email.

Melissa (Fresh Thyme)

Dec 9, 2023, 9:50 AM CST

Dear Eric,

Thanks for reaching out! The products available at our stores may differ by location. To find out if your local store carries (product name), you may visit our website http://www.freshthyme.com and search for any of your desired products.

I will forward this to the Store Director for the Bridgeville, PA store location for you as well.

Thank you for being a Fresh Thyme customer!
Melissa
Fresh Thyme Customer Care

Nothing from Giant Eagle, Walmart, or Shop’n Save.

You should try to solve the maze, & then post it & tag me on social media. I’m @AiXeLsyD on pretty much everything.

Or, you could buy my book or some merch.

Conagra Brands @ConagraBrands · Nov 20 Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. Both of these products are still available. Individual retailers make the final decisions about which products they will sell. If you cannot find a specific product you're looking for, ask your retailer to begin carrying it for you. ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸 @AiXeLsyD13 · Dec 18 So, I recently received an email from Comagra saying that the good version is no longer available. Who is right, them or you? Conagra Brands @ConagraBrands · Dec 19 Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. We're sorry, but our Teriyaki Marinade Sauce has been discontinued. Our Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce Marinade is still available. We hope this information helps and apologize for any confusion. Thanks for your interest in our product.

Seriously, what happened in a month?

ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸 @AiXeLsyD13 · Nov 19 And... I no longer see it on the #LaChoy website product page: https://lachoy.com/asian-cooking-products/asian-inspired-sauces Please, tell me that you DID NOT DISCONTINUE this absolutely infallible nectar of the gods? Conagra Brands @ConagraBrands · Nov 20 Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. Both of these products are still available. Individual retailers make the final decisions about which products they will sell. If you cannot find a specific product you're looking for, ask your retailer to begin carrying it for you. ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸 @AiXeLsyD13 · Dec 18 So, I recently received an email from Comagra saying that the good version is no longer available. Who is right, them or you? Conagra Brands @ConagraBrands · Dec 19 Hi, Eric. Thanks for following up with us. We're sorry, but our Teriyaki Marinade Sauce has been discontinued. Our Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce Marinade is still available. We hope this information helps and apologize for any confusion. Thanks for your interest in our product. ᗡʏꙅ⅃ɘXiA ƆiЯƎ 🎸 @AiXeLsyD13 · Dec 19 Thank you for the reply. I may have a memorial service for the best Teriyaki sauce ever. Perhaps I could buy the recipe from you? Did anyone at least try the maze? Conagra Brands @ConagraBrands Thank you for replying. We're unable to provide the recipe as it is proprietary but appreciate your interest in our products. Thank you again for taking the time message and enjoy your week.

La Choy Teriyaki Terror

Posted on by Standard 7

Foe several years now, I have had an increasing number of issues trying to procure my favorite teriyaki sauce. You know how it is, you find something you like, then it is gone! I have blogged about this before, but the situation is getting much more desperate as time goes by. I have written many goofy emails and letters. I have received swag from Pepto, Turner’s, & Radio Shack. I have drawn mazes and send them to call attention to supply chain issues with potatoes and cocktail rye bread. I surely am single-handedly responsible for the return of Bronco Berry Sauce, right? So, I have to try with my La Choy Teriyaki Marinade & Sauce.

I like to use it to make this Teriyaki stuff. Other brands DO NOT COMPARE. It scares me that it is no longer listed on the La Choy product page.

I drafted up this letter and maze:

Hello Friends,

I write to you today to invite you on a journey with me. The journey is the quest for the most absolute perfect Teriyaki sauce. You may find yourself wondering if it exists. I can assure you, it does… or at least it did. Over the past few years it has been increasingly difficult to find. You’re surely wondering by now, to which magical elixir I am referring? It is confusing, but I will try to explain: The original La Choy Teriyaki Marinade & Sauce is wondrous perfection, yet the La Choy Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce & Marinade is devastatingly abhorrent.

I know that “teriyaki” may refer to a style, much like “barbecue” can denote many kinds of sauces, but it ought to be a crime to label these two sauces with the same descriptor. “Ketchup” came to describe the sugary tomato-based condiment we all know today, even though at one point it could have referred to many different things including a sauce with fermented fish.

I have seen the words on the label move around in various orders, so I’m not 100% sure exactly what to call the sauce, or how to differentiate it by descriptor… but I can tell you that the darker sauce in the bottle with the same shape as your soy sauce is fantastic, and the other stuff in the salad-dressing style bottle with seeds floating in it is terrible.

Over the years, I have written to my local grocery store, and they said the distributor discontinued it. I had one local store that carried it, and they have replaced its spot on the shelf with a similar yet inferior brand that we would have called generic in my youth. I have reached out to Conagra on social media, and was told to use the product locator. The product locator shows that no one around here sells that sauce, and seems to indicate it is not available online.

The La Choy website that lists all of the sauces does not show the good style sauce, but only the gross style. Is this an indication that you no longer manufacture the good stuff? Google searches lead to one gallon jugs or full cases. I only need a few bottles at a time. Looking closer, it shows as “out of stock” on some sites. Are you having supply chain issues? Is it being phased out? Is it available only regionally outside of my region?

I am writing to implore you to get me some answers other than the stock “Yes, we still make it. Please use our product locator.” I would like some real concrete answers. I also plan to write to all of my local grocery chains.

Please enjoy the attached maze, to help you as you contemplate a suggested resolution to my quest. Are you able to let me know the names of any of the distributors or local/national grocery chains where I can reach out to request your product, or even independent stores? I am in Bridgeville, PA, USA… just south of Pittsburgh.

I would love email addresses, or even snail mail. I am not a fan of these constraining contact forms.

I look forward to your reply, and thank you for the many tasty dinners that I have enjoyed thanks to your delicious sauce. I won’t even ask for an apology for the terribleness of the other sauce, even though you really should apologize for it.

I thank you for your time and attention, may you have a joyous and cheerful holiday season this year!

Your Hangry Fan,
-Eric
aixelsyd13(at)gmail.com

A maze, with the object to help a cartoon AiXeLsyD13 find his preferred Le Choy Teriyaki sauce.
Help me on my quest!

I sent that to Conagra’s contact form, well, what would fit, but was able to attach the maze. I also sent it through Facebook and Instagram messages, and tried to reach out via Twitter (again).

I used a google search to find their CEO’s name and their supposed email syntax, and sent the message to several variations of his address. None have bounced back yet, but I doubt they will all go through. I did also email their media relations and investor questions email which I found in a press release.

What’s my next move? Snail mail? Other executives? Board Members? I plan to email local food chains & maybe even smaller grocers. How do I find their distributors? Should I snail mail these out?

I feel like I have been getting the run-around on this for years:

One last message from Levin?

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Have you read about our experience buying a recliner from @levinfurnituremattress? (Levin Furniture and Mattress/Levin Furniture and Mattress)

Catch up here before I drop the latest communication from them: https://wp.me/pwqzc-3eo

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I would love to hear your thoughts on how they or I could have handled the situation better.

I don’t feel they owe me anything at this point.

Where should we go to buy a couch? Are any furniture stores better than the others?

My requirements are:

  • It must be delivered, I don’t want to pick it up or assemble anything.
  • I want to see it & sit in it first. (Our current couch was bought online, sight-unseen, and is a dud.)
  • The store has to be able to actually hit promised delivery dates.
  • I’m stuck on a nice HIGH back after seeing a few.

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Here’s the latest from Levin:

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Eric,

     I completely understand where you are coming from.  I apologize that we failed to get your correct chair delivered to you during this time. I am the person that called your wife about the Facebook post. I wanted to reach out to you to apologize and see what I could do to help the situation.  When we fail to meet our customers’ expectations, we want to make it right. 

     I know you said you weren’t sure what we could do at this point, but I feel we need to take ownership of our mistake and acknowledge your feelings. On behave of Levin Furniture I apologize for the mistake and the inconvenience this caused you during your recovery. That is a true heart felt apology, I treat customers the way I would want to be treated. I think sometimes we get desensitized and need to be reminded that people have other things going on in their lives and just owning our mistakes and saying I am sorry can make a difference. 

    I know you said you do not want to shop with a us. But if you would like to give us another chance in the future, please let me know and I will see we take care of you. If there is anything I can assist you with, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me.  

    

Best Regards,

 Kelly Matyas 

  Customer  Experience Manager

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Should I write/call back?

AI generated hellscape of a Levin's staff meeting around my recliner.
Actual footage from a staff meeting about my recliner.

Well, I 𝘸𝘢𝘴 done with Levin. Then they emailed a customer satisfaction survey. 🤣

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Well, I was done with Levin. Then they emailed a customer satisfaction survey. That triggered me again. Here’s what I sent back. Then I dug up as many corporate names as I could, and their email syntax. I know some landed, because about three minutes after I hit send they were calling my wife.

Here’s what I said:

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Hello Friends,

I recently had what we’ll call a horrendous experience with Levin Furniture.  I had vented about it online, and moved on.  Until my wife forwarded me the customer satisfaction survey.  That took some immense lack of self-awareness on your part, so I am hoping with this missive to make you a bit more aware.  The following is what I typed up & sent along with the 3 1-star answers to the survey.  I thought I would look up some email addresses and get it in front of as many eyes as I could.  I will also copy the salesman that my wife dealt with who never replied to her email inquiring about delivery.

Already sent was the following:  

On Saturday September 9th, my wife & son went to Levin and a few other furniture stores to purchase a powered recliner for me, to help with post colo-rectal surgery recovery.

Looking online at our options and various price ranges, I knew I wanted a chair that had a cup holder, phone charger, and storage pockets… as I was not sure how mobile I would be post-op, and was quite frankly uncomfortable going into surgery.

I would have gone to view them myself, but that happened to be in-between my second and third ER trips & hospital admissions in 4 weeks stemming from a burst pocket of diverticulitis and a nasty ensuing abscess and infection.  I was in poor health, and in no mood to deal with furniture sales tactics.  I can even provide photos of the CT scans and the drain sticking out of my right but cheek if you like to be grossed out.

My wife ordered an Ashley Model Next-Gen DuraPella Power Recliner SKU # 2200413, mainly because Levin promised to deliver before La-Z-Boy & Value City could on very similarly optioned & priced items.  Remember that “before” qualifier as you digest (pun intended) the following paragraphs.

In hindsight, it was a largely false promise on the part of Levin, one that if I were a pessimist would assume is a regular practice on the part of your sales team.

The chair was promised to be delivered by Sept. 19th.  That Tuesday came & my wife logged in to the website to see the delivery was now scheduled for Thursday Sept. 21st, and we had no communication on that change from Levin.

On Thursday, my wife called the delivery number, then the store to ask about the chair’s whereabouts.  She talked to an Anna who said the original salesperson, Jared Chambers, was “new” and “didn’t know he had to schedule the delivery.”

My wife also emailed jchambers@levinfurniture.com on Sept. 21st to inquire about the delivery, but as of yet has not received a reply.  We can forward that unanswered email if needed.

Despite this excuse smelling of total and absolute bovine feces, Anna told my wife that they could “squeeze us in” that Saturday the 23rd for delivery.  Were we the first order where this was discovered?  If not, why wasn’t it rectified sooner?  Does Levin train all new employees this poorly?  You don’t really have to answer that last one.  It was rhetorical.

Saturday the 23rd came and two nice men delivered a recliner to us.  Once they brought it in & put it together, I noticed that it does not have the cup holder, phone charger, or storage pockets.  It happened to be an Ashley Model 5930213 Power Recliner @ $1349.99, completely not what we ordered.  It was not the same model, SKU #, or price.

The guys sent photos to their boss, their boss contacted Levins, & Anna called my wife.

We tipped the guys $20 and they took the nice new recliner away.

In that conversation with my wife, Anna then blamed an incorrect tag or sku # being on the display model in the showroom.  She also used the phrasing that it was “no one’s fault.”  This incensed me, as it obviously was the fault of Levin employees on multiple levels.  Who tagged the chair with the wrong tag?  Who double-checks their work?  The salesman did not confirm that what he was ordering matched the floor model?  This is not “no one’s fault,” this is a tragic comedy of careless errors.

My wife asked Anna at that time if we could purchase the floor model, as time was of the essence.  Anna said she would call back.

We went to Big Lots! in Washington PA that evening to look at couches.  Yes, we need a couch, and Levin is off the table for what I believe to be quite obvious reasons.

Anna had still not called my wife as of around 6:00 PM, so my wife called her.  Anna said we could have the floor model if we came and got it.  Now, I am in poor health with restrictions on lifting, my kids are young, we have a vehicle classed as a station wagon, and my wife is a strong woman, but I would not ask her to move a recliner herself.

You would think the salesman and or store manager eager to make good on a sale, would have delivered the damn thing in a pickup or something.

Customer service is dead.

No concessions on price were offered from Anna.  My wife asked for some form of compensation for our aggravation, and at first the only offer was to refund the original delivery fee… for the WRONG CHAIR.  Crazy us to assume it would be a given to not pay for that.  I believe we got half off of the 2nd delivery, and were refunded the difference between the original incorrect, more expensive chair, and the correct less expensive one.

If your profit margins are so small that you cannot automatically offer a few hundred dollars off on this purchase or even on a future purchase, you perhaps need to rethink your entire business model.

The correct recliner was finally delivered on Tuesday Oct. 3rd.  This was a full two weeks after it was promised, after the dates when we could have received a recliner from your esteemed competitors, and 3 days after I was released from the hospital.after surgery.

Did I mention that we set our old chair out for the trash the Thursday night prior to the initial incorrect Saturday delivery?  

I would like to ask you to imagine having a foot-long section of your colon and rectum removed, your remaining section of colon & rectum stapled together, a wound vac hanging on your side connected to a tube from an incision above your belly button, and a bulbous drain hanging out of your side right at your waistline.

That makes sitting anywhere uncomfortable.  Imagine, if you would, a nice stressless recliner to ease the situation…  because I can’t.

Some other person did leave a voicemail for my wife after I left a frustration-venting rant & a comment or two on Facebook, but that was the night of my colon-cleanse.  If you’ll forgive the mental image, we already had enough crap to put up with.

Honestly though, for that attention-grabbing shenanigans to be the ONLY thing that triggered some sort of response, you were well past the too little/too late threshold.

Your people skills are abhorrent at the sales and service levels, and your corporate level customer service is merely reactionary to online “bad press” only to save face, not serve actual customer satisfaction & retention.

I actually applaud your testicular fortitude in reaching out with a customer satisfaction survey.  It either takes massive ignorance or massive swagger. And you already know where I believe you fall on the scale.

I was pretty much done with it all through, after leaving my review on Google Maps and my blog, until that came through.  Bravo.

I now intend to send this to every level of your corporation that has eyes.  May the best of them find work elsewhere, and may the worst of them stay to drive you further into the ground than the last time you were there.

Thank you for your time, and may whatever deity you ascribe to have mercy on your soul,

-Eric
—

aixelsyd13.wordpress.com

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I neglected to note we tipped the 2nd set of delivery guys $20 too. But, if they don’t even pretend to care about the customers, they certainly don’t care about the employees, right? While we’re on the subject… was that appropriate, or cheap? I try to check in on these things occasionally.

After Kelly Maytas at Levin left my wife a Voicemail, I got this email…

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Eric,

    Thank you for reaching out to us and letting us know about your experience. We aim to deliver a great experience and are disheartened when we don’t. We will use your feedback to make us better.

     I apologize for the inconvenience and the stress this has caused you. I personally would like to speak to you about your experience and respectfully apologize and take ownership of our failure to deliver a great experience. I know you need to rest, but at your convenience can you please give me a call at 330-###-####. 

Best Regards,

 Kelly Matyas 

  Customer  Experience Manage

💻

I took the time to send this back…

💻

Thank You Ms. Maytas, 

Not sure if you got just the survey response, or the email that I tried to send to a handful of people after researching names and email syntax online.  

I am really not sure what you can do at this point for us.  

I suggest you get your Robinson store in order… from tagging furniture properly, to sales reps understanding the product, your procedures, or setting up deliveries in a timely manner, and customer service reps that understand what apologizing really is.  Only then can you maybe knock it out of the park for future customers.  

We are in desperate need of a new couch, but not that desperate.  I feel like your team has not only burned but nuked the proverbial bridge, and I concede that I worked on that from my side of things also.  I  am not a fan of phone calls, I prefer the written word.  I also prefer retailers that automatically offer discounts on current or future sales without having to be asked.  Again, we’re past that.

Unless you’d like to suggest a competitor that will actually deliver a quality product on time?

Good luck to you in righting the ship at Levins, as your tenacity in reaching out speaks to the fact that you will stay the course!  I wish that we could have dealt with you on the store level instead of when it reached a wild level of ridiculousness (again, the online shenanigans are all on me – but it shouldn’t have taken that to garner attention).

I appreciate your time in reaching out!  I like you, unlike your seemingly dimwitted and soul-crushed coworkers.  Perhaps they need a pizza party or two for morale?

Please enjoy some of the free mazes at my blog, or buy my book!

Your Friend,

-Eric

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What do you think will happen next? Are we done here? Oh yeah, this is the now infamous chair…

Thanks, Ashley.

Marvelous Maze Madness

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Yeah, I have had some down-time lately, so I finally hit the maze thing full force. You may have read about it here or here.

I got my books today! Getting reports from others that they have theirs too, thanks for posting & tagging me! Feel free to share the link anywhere & everywhere! Ha ha.

Two copies of my maze book, "So I Finally Made A Maze Book."

Here’s my totally self-indulgent “unboxing” video on YouTube:

Ethan Muter posted & tagged me in the first “I received your book” post!

Check it out:

As of now, I have sold 25 copies, and it’s staying solid there. It’s not a huge number, but hey… it’s more than I have ever sold before! We did get a private photo of our friends’ daughter solving one of the mazes in the book, too. How cool is that? Early reports are that it is challenging and fun for a 10yo.

I need help getting the word out, as I have a $0 advertising budget.

If you can, leave a review on Amazon, or even at GoodReads! It would be awesome if you add it to your “to read” or wish list, or even marked as “read” at GoodReads, or follow me as an author there.

Both the TeePublic and RedBubble stores are active, and Randall Gilbert bought the first TeePublic T-shirt with the banana maze! You can get all kinds of cool clothing and merch at both stores, including mugs, stickers, and RedBubble even has acrylic blocks, pet bandanas and shower curtains!

Any ideas to help spread the word?

The consistently most visited post at my blog is In a maze mood, I guess. from January 2012. I have no idea what drives everyone there. Maybe Pinterest? I am tempted to update that page with a link to the book!

I’m also very interested in the Kindle books… Is it useless on a Kindle? Can you mark it up on anything?

PennDOT Maze

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They say Pennsylvania has two seasons, Winter & Construction. The secret is, it’s always construction season! Celebrate with a maze while you’re sitting in traffic. Just, not while you’re driving.

A maze with a DETOUR theme referencing PennDOT, or the Pennsylvania Department of Transportation.

I was recently in the hospital & had the time to draw a ridiculous amount of mazes. They helped me work through the pain and just kind of zone out a bit. Check them all out on my Instagram accounts at @AiXeLsyD13 & @MyMazes. (A few have multiple mazes in each post.)

Since Twitter became 𝕏, WordPress doesn’t push links there. I think Facebook eats links. And, I get no interaction from Threads or Blue Sky so far.

If you print & complete one of these, or finish it right on your screen, please post to your favorite social media & tag me! I’m @AiXeLsyD13 on pretty much everything, and it’s easy to find the blog page or me on Facebook.

Hopefully, I have some more cool maze-related news coming soon.

I love these (A maze solution submission.)

Posted on by Standard Reply

This came from nowhere the other day, attached to an email, no name or text in the body.

It’s the solution to an OLD maze from 2012: Shift Spiral Spin [Maze]

Please, come forward and take credit! I can tag you on socials or link to any projects you have going on.

I’d love to know how you found it! I try to post them to my maze board on Pinterest if I remember. There are a ton here and on my Instagram, or my maze Instagram.

If this inspires you to do one, that would be awesome. Post on social media & tag me @AiXeLsyD13 on just about everything. (Except PayPal. Whoever has that must be a real asshole because I have been using AiXeLsyD13 since like Angelfire and AOL Instant Messenger.) I am trying out Threads and Blue Sky while Twitter is becoming 𝕏. I gave up on Mastodon and that one other one I forget the name of.

You can also email it to me like this anonymous solver did at world.and.lunar.domination@gmail.com.

☡🚧🚨🚨🚨🚧 SPOILER ALERT! Solution Below: 🚧🚨🚨🚨🚧☡

Reader-submitted solution to a 2012 maze that I inexplicably called “Shift Spiral Spin.”