So, Ernie and one Bert decided to crash a Houlihan's open stage last night in Robinson. Apparently it enters us into a contest. We'd like to take the other Bert to round 2, so we'd like you to vote for us. How do you do that? Like Houlihan's Robinson on Facebook. Vote for us here. This is what we sounded like: …sort of. Imagine that you ca … Read More
I always felt like I was saying “younz” more than “yinz”, but then again, I grew up in the ‘burbs, not the city proper.
I know I’ve heard that it was a contraction of Scottish/Irish origin… a merging of “You ones” (…or “you’uns” neither of which is exactly proper). I think when I was little “Younz” just seemed like a better differentiation between “You” plural, and “You” singular. With “you’unz” there was no confusion!
This was a project by our friends Jason & Terry. Luckily, they needed a band and we were up for making a video. I know I’m pleased with the results!
Ernie and the Berts owes these cats some thanks as well as Jonathan and Naveed for starring along with Jason & the band… and Erin and Lynn for giving up their house for a day.
Almost forgot, Brendan for helping us record this thing & his patience!
Hopefully, you dig the song and the video. We’re (of course) interested in your thoughts/critique/reviews/compliments/criticisms/etc.!
I’m told that means “Happy St. Patrick’s Day” or more accurately “Blessings of St. Patrick’s Day upon ye!”. I hope that’s right. Today, we celebrate Irish heritage. How the holiday’s become that, I have no idea. I’d like to share with you some Irish toasts, blessing, song, & food. If you’re not of Irish descent, well… we’ll forgive for just one day. As long as you forgive me for skipping the Guinness and sticking to the Smithwick’s.
Irish toasts & blessings…
A family of Irish birth will argue and fight,
But let a shout come from without and see them all unite.
Always remember to forget
The troubles that passed away.
But never forget to remember
The blessings that come each day.
An Irishman is never drunk
as long as he can hold on to
one blade of grass and not
fall off the face of the earth.
As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction!
Bless your little Irish heart — and every other Irish part.
From the great Gales of Ireland
Are the men that God made mad,
For all their wars are merry
And all their songs are sad.
Grant me a sense of humor, Lord,
the saving grace to see a joke,
To win some happiness from life,
And pass it on to other folks.
Here’s a toasting to his health.
But not too many toastings
Lest you lose yourself and then
Forget the good Saint Patrick
And see all those snakes again.
Here’s to a sweetheart, a bottle, and a friend.
The first beautiful, the second full, the last ever faithful.
Here’s to you and yours,
And to mine and ours,
And if mine and ours ever come
Across you and yours,
I hope you and yours will do
As much for mine and ours,
As mine and ours have done
For you and yours!
Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one.
A pretty girl and an honest one.
A cold pint– and another one!
Here’s to the land of the shamrock so green,
Here’s to each lad and his darlin colleen,
Here’s to the ones we love dearest and most.
May God bless old Ireland, that’s this Irishman’s toast!
Here’s to women’s kisses,
and to whiskey, amber clear;
Not as sweet as a woman’s kiss,
but a darn sight more sincere!
Here’s to women’s kisses,
and to whiskey, amber clear;
Not as sweet as a woman’s kiss,
but a darn sight more sincere!
I drink to your health when I’m with you,
I drink to your health when I’m alone,
I drink to your health so often,
I’m starting to worry about my own!
I have known many,
and liked not a few,
but loved only one
and this toast is to you.
May God grant you always…
A sunbeam to warm you,
A moonbeam to charm you,
A sheltering angel, so nothing can harm you.
May good luck be your friend
In whatever you do
And may trouble be always
A stranger to you.
May joy and peace surround you,
Contentment latch your door,
And happiness be with you now
And bless you evermore.
May misfortune follow you the rest of your life, and never catch up.
May neighbours respect you,
Trouble neglect you,
The angels protect you,
And heaven accept you.
May the face of every good news and the back of every bad news be towards us.
May the good saints protect you
And bless you today
And may troubles ignore you
Each step of the way
May the grass grow long on the road to hell for want of use.
May the hinges of our friendship never grow rusty.
May the leprechauns be near you,
To spread luck along your way.
And may all the Irish angels,
Smile upon you on St. Patrick’s Day.
May the lilt of Irish laughter Lighten every load,
May the mist of Irish magic Shorten every road,
May you taste the sweetest pleasures That fortune ere bestowed,
And may all your friends remember all the favors you are owed.
May the luck of the Irish
Lead to happiest heights
And the highway you travel
Be lined with green lights.
May the lilt of Irish laughter lighten every load.
May the mist of Irish magic Shorten every road…
And may all your friends remember
All the favours you are owed!
May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
May the rocks in your field turn to gold.
May the roof above you never fall in,
And those gathered beneath it never fall out.
May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past.
May the winds of fortune sail you,
May you sail a gentle sea.
May it always be the other guy
who says, “this drink’s on me.”
May you be in heaven a full half hour before the devil knows your dead.
May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings,
slow to make enemies and quick to make friends.
And may you know nothing but happiness from this day forward.
May you get all your wishes but one, so that you will always have something to strive for!
May you have food and raiment,
a soft pillow for your head.
May you be forty years in heaven
before the devil knows you’re dead.
May you have the hindsight to know where you’ve been,
The foresight to know where you are going,
And the insight to know when you have gone too far.
May you have the hindsight to know where you’ve been,
the foresight to know where you’re going,
and the insight to know when you’ve gone too far.
May you have warm words on a cold evening, a full moon on a dark night, and a smooth road all the way to your door.
May you live as long as you want and never want as long as you live.
May you live to be 100 years, with one extra year to repent.
May you never find trouble
All crowdin’ and shovin’
But always good fortune
All smilin’ and lovin’
May you taste the sweetest pleasures that fortune ere bestowed,
And may all your friends remember all the favors you are owed.
May your heart be light and happy,
May your smile be big and wide,
And may your pockets always have
a coin or two inside!
May your home always be too small to hold all your friends.
May your home be filled with laughter
May your pockets be filled with gold
And may you have all the happiness
Your Irish heart can hold.
May your mornings bring joy
and your evenings bring peace…
May your troubles grow less
as your blessings increase!
May your pockets be heavy—
Your heart be light,
And may good luck pursue you
Each morning and night.
May your pockets be heavy—
Your heart be light,
And may good luck pursue you
Each morning and night.
May your right hand always be stretched out in friendship and never in want.
May your troubles be less
And your blessing be more
And nothing but happiness
Come through your door
My friends are the best friends
Loyal, willing and able.
Now let’s get to drinking!
All glasses off the table!
Saint Patrick was a gentleman,
Who through strategy and stealth,
Drove all the snakes from Ireland,
That the tap may be open when it rusts!
There are good ships,
and there are wood ships,
The ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships, are friendships,
And may they always be.
We drink to your coffin. May it be built from the wood of a hundred year old oak tree that I shall plant tomorrow.
When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let’s all get drunk, and go to heaven!
Wherever you go and whatever you do, May the luck of the Irish be there with you.
Here’s to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking!
If you cheat, may you cheat death.
If you steal, may you steal a woman’s heart.
If you fight, may you fight for a brother.
And if you drink, may you drink with me. … Slainte!
May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings, slow to make enemies, quick to make friends. But rich or poor, quick or slow, may you know nothing but happiness from this day forward.
May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live.
May the strength of three be in your journey.
May the sound of happy music, And the lilt of Irish laughter, fill your heart with gladness, that stays forever after.
Here’s to me, and here’s to you,
And here’s to love and laughter-
I’ll be true as long as you,
And not one moment after.
There are many good reasons for drinking,
One has just entered my head-
If a man doesn’t drink when he’s living,
How the hell can he drink when he’s dead?
May you always have walls for the winds,
a roof for the rain, tea beside the fire,
laughter to cheer you, those you love near you,
and all your heart might desire.
May you have love that never ends,
lots of money, and lots of friends.
Health be yours, whatever you do,
and may God send many blessings to you!
May the sun shine, all day long,
everything go right, and nothing wrong.
May those you love bring love back to you,
and may all the wishes you wish come true!
May you have:
A world of wishes at your command.
God and his angels close to hand.
Friends and family their love impart,
and Irish blessings in your heart!
May you have warm words on a cold evening,
a full moon on a dark night,
and the road downhill all the way to your door.
For each petal on the shamrock.
This brings a wish your way
Good health, good luck, and happiness
For today and every day.
May the embers from the open hearth warm your hands,
May the sun’s rays from the Irish sky warm your face,
May the children’s bright smiles warm your heart,
May the everlasting love I give you warm your soul.
May you always have work for your hands to do.
May your pockets hold always a coin or two.
May the sun shine bright on your windowpane.
May the rainbow be certain to follow each rain.
May the hand of a friend always be near you.
And may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.
May your thoughts be as glad as the shamrocks,
May your heart be as light as a song,
May each day bring you bright, happy hours,
That stay with you all the year long.
May joy and peace surround you,
Contentment latch your door,
And happiness be with you now,
And bless you evermore.
May the saint protect ye-
An’ sorrow neglect ye,
An’ bad luck to the one
That doesn’t respect ye
t’ all that belong to ye,
An long life t’ yer honor-
That’s the end of my song t’ ye!
May good luck be your friend
In whatever you do.
And may trouble be always
A stranger to you.
May your blessings outnumber
The Shamrocks that grow.
And may trouble avoid you
Wherever you go.
May your troubles be less,
And your blessing be more.
And nothing but happiness,
Come through your door.
And some Irish song…
This one’s from Seamus Kennedy, you need to check him out if he’s ever on tour in a pub or a festival near you!
Saint Patrick was a gentleman,
Who through strategy and stealth,
Drove all the snakes from Ireland,
Here’s a toasting to his health.
But not too many toastings
Lest you lose yourself and then
Forget the good Saint Patrick
And see all those snakes again.
I wish I was done. Perhaps this blog will wrap up all of my current thoughts on the subject. Thanks for hanging in there, my friends. And, I have received some comments on Facebook at Pittsburgh Beat, please comment here too! Thanks to Trista & Dave for not being shy. If you have no idea what I mean, this is a follow-up to my last two posts…
The first article/slide-show that I’d like to tackle is also called 20 Secrets Your Waiter Won’t Tell You and linked to from one of the articles as 20 More Secrets Your Waiter Won’t Tell You. Apparently originality is lost here.
I’ll tackle the most appalling slides here..
What You’re Really Swallowing
In most restaurants, after 8 p.m. or so, all the coffee is decaf because no one wants to clean two different coffeepots. I’ll bring out a tray with 12 coffees on it and give some to the customers who ordered regular, others to the ones who ordered decaf. But they’re all decaf.
—Charity Ohlund
Ridiculous. What’s so hard about telling people of this policy, or cleaning an extra coffee pot? Don’t they have dish washers for this kind of thing? Any kind of secrecy is just wrong. Granted, the opposite would be much worse for someone with a sensitivity to caffeine… but according to this butthole, it happens quite regularly. Is it too much to expect to get what you order? Really? I work hard for my money just like you, and ought to get what I want when I spend in your workplace.
What We Lie About
If you’re a vegetarian and you ask if we use vegetable stock, I’m going to say yes, even if we don’t. You’ll never know the difference.
I like that this is from someone anonymous. Whoever you are, please take comfort in the fact that you are one of the lowest forms of human life on the planet and that there are not too many out there worse than you. You’re sick. You have a mental illness of some sort or a form of antisocial personality disorder… specifically the following symptoms:
Apparent lack of remorse or empathy; inability to care about hurting others
Tendency to violate the boundaries and rights of others
Disregard for the safety of self or others
Persistent attitude of irresponsibility and disregard for social rules, obligations, and norms
This is a serious illness, and I implore you to seek help. This is just completely unacceptable behavior towards your fellow man, besides not doing your job correctly or with any sort of pride or responsibility.
I’m certainly not a vegetarian. In fact, serve up any animal that’s not shellfish, an insect, or having an opposable thumb, and I’ll most likely eat it or at least try it. I love red meat… and white meat too… but there is not much better out there meat-wise than a nice steak, roast, or even a burger. PETA annoys me to no end.
Still, I respect their life choices, life style, and dietary needs. I have several friends and acquaintances that are vegetarian or vegan. It doesn’t matter if their diet is because of personal choices, dietary needs, religious beleifs, or allergies. If I know they’re coming to my house for anything or if I’m taking food to a common event with them… I go out of my way to make sure that the food doesn’t contain animals or animal products. Over the past few years, I even learned about things that I never thought of as animal products like gelatin-free sour cream.
I harp on the allergy thing because it affects me, but someone out there may have a severe allergic reaction to beef or chicken… and if the stock was made from fish or shellfish and someone lied to me about it… well, I might not be around to complain.
I just can’t imagine that in this day and age that anyone would think lying about something like this was acceptable.
What You Don’t Want to Know
Now that I’ve worked in a restaurant, I never ask for lemon in a drink. Everybody touches them. Nobody washes them. We just peel the stickers off, cut them up, and throw them in your iced tea.
—Charity Ohlund, Kansas City waitress
Explains why I’ve gotten so many lemons with stickers on them in my iced teas. Aren’t there health codes or inspectors out there? I’m vehemently against big(er) government, but I would gladly pay higher taxes for inspections to be more frequent and with higher penalties. In fact… I’ll sign up to do them at an incredibly reasonable price.
What You’re Really Swallowing
Skim milk is almost never skim milk. Very few restaurants outside Starbucks carry whole milk, 2 percent milk, skim milk, and half-and-half; it’s just not practical.
—Chris
Skim milk is gross, but… Again, why with the dishonesty? Why not just tell people you don’t have skim milk, then let them make the decision if they want it or not? I’d leave a bigger tip if my server was honest with me about something like that.
What Drives Us Crazy
The single greatest way to get your waiter to hate you? Ask for hot tea. For some reason, an industry that’s managed to streamline everything else hasn’t been able to streamline that. You’ve got to get a pot, boil the water, get the lemons, get the honey, bring a cup and spoon. It’s a lot of work for little reward.
—Christopher Fehlinger, maître d’ at a popular New York City restaurant
Wow. I love hot tea, but don’t order it out much. From now on, every time I feel a waiter or waitress is treating me poorly, I’ll be sure to add to their aggravation and order this. Also, I find it funny that this is from a maître d’. Shouldn’t they be held to an even higher standard? And again… I don’t care what it is… if it’s on the menu, I should be able to order it, and it should not affect your attitude or opinion because…buh-bahhh… IT’SYOURJOB.
What We Want You to Know
In many restaurants, the tips are pooled, so if you have a bad experience with the server, you’re stiffing the bartender who made your drinks, the water boy who poured your water, sometimes the hostess, the food runners, and maybe the other waiters.
—Christopher Fehlinger
This isn’t common knowledge by now? Surely everyone knows someone who works at a restaurant.
What You Need to Know About Tipping
The best tippers tend to be middle-class or people who have worked for everything they have, not the really wealthy or the kid who inherited the trust fund. Which is not to say that we mind if you use coupons. But when you do, tip on the amount the bill would have been without them.
—Judi Santana
Makes sense… people at about your level who work for all that they have. The coupon thing makes sense. Save a few bucks on the restaurant’s dime, not your server’s.
People just love them some communities. I mean, they must. After my Reader’s Digest piece was picked up by both the Today show and Msnbc.com, the “food allergy community” opened up a peanut and gluten-free can of whoop ass on me. Some scolded me for not caring if their children died, others asked for a full retraction and apology to the community, and others reminded me, again, that they could die.
Who knew there was a food allergy community? Can you imagine the poor restaurant that is chosen for their weekly meetings? The waitress nervously approaches the chef with an order the size of the Bible with all the special notes and codes and the words “COULD DIE!!!” hand written on half the tickets.
I’m disgusted by the cavalier attitude here. I can’t imagine being a parent with a small child that had to deal with this. It’s bad enough when it’s my own problem. Yes, there’s a bunch of us out here, and we’re growing more vocal day by day. Why? Any more, it’s the small groups who have to power. Wait until we start referring to ourselves ans a minority, and our right to eat out in comfort a civil right. Wow, could we ever abuse that if we got it out at the right place and time to the right politicians.
I have dealt with a lot of food allergies in my serving career, and I care, I really do. Every case was handled with extreme care. I would go talk to the chef, who would roll his eyes and then have to stop the line and talk to every cook. I then had to stop and tell every other server, busser, and assistant to make sure not to touch any plates at table 53 without washing their hands of any and all potential allergens. She could die! Meanwhile, the restaurant is completely packed and crazy and this person has put her LIFE in my hands and I have to trust – no, SHE has to trust – that all 95 people who could possibly come in contact with her or her food will completely sanitize their hands, the silverware, the plates, and the very air she breathes of any and all peanut dust.
A chef rolls their eyes? That’s sad. I think they’d get into the business wanting people to love their food, not die from it. Sadly, in with the rest of this, she’s right on. It should not be solely the responsibility of the server. Restaurants everywhere need to be made aware of the inherent dangers of cross contamination in food preparation, cooking, & serving. People suffering from severe food allergies are a small percentage of the population, narrow down the allergy & it’s smaller still. I run into people that aren’t aware of allergies or their possible severity all the time. Some people are taking steps to correct this, many others will be needed to join in & raise awareness.
But it’s too much for you, allergen sufferer, isn’t it? I mean, if you could truly die, how do you throw caution to the wind and hope that your 12 reminders have done the trick? Balls, you.
Yes, balls me. Again, you have to weigh this against the social pressure to dine out, and desire to be like everyone else. It’s much more than just the allergy that’s bothersome, and who doesn’t like to dine out every once in a while, especially in a place that doesn’t have a drive-through or a mascot?
That blog contained a vlog from this guy, who at best needs kicked in the teeth. I can’t really go point-for-point because I don’t really feel like typing out transcripts. If you’re interested in seeing what I mean, check out Would You Say “No Butter” to Julia Child!?. He speaks of how I shouldn’t eat out because I can’t trust anyone but him… even though he’s an ass. He does make one good point saying that people saying they’re allergic to things when they just don’t want them in their food is doing nothing but trivializing it for the rest of us. But, “Anonymous waiter in Hollywood, CA”, don’t pass the buck, you’re still the arrogant bastard here. Yes, I get it, you say things for shock value and to gain new readers… like I just said you need kicked in the teeth. I’m sure you’re fine with that though, & enjoy the reaction. If you’re teaching us to be better customers, who’s teaching you to be a better waiter?
Apparently people complaining upset the “In The Weeds” writer, and she posted another blog, again venting…
1) From Shellshock: “Wow. The author is going to kill someone with the attitude towards allergies. I guess the terms anaphylactic shock and death are words not found in the author’s vocabulary.”
I covered the topic of food allergies already, but again, if you can DIE from someone messing up your food, you might as well ask your waitress to perform your next open heart surgery. It’s really the same risk. I’m not insensitive to your plight. I’ll do my best. But it really sucks that you could die. Because if the Mexican kitchen workers don’t understand what I’m saying about “anaphylactic shock”…. damn.
Again, why not do your part and suggest to the owner/manager/chef that everyone be trained on food allergy awareness? No one’s asking you to perform open heart surgery… we’re just asking you to be clean. That’s all. Don’t let dirty stuff touch clean stuff. Shouldn’t that be in practice anyway?
To prevent allergic reactions, individuals with food allergies rely on accurate ingredient information and safe food handling procedures. The material in this section will provide food industry and service professionals with the information they will need to safely prepare, cook, and serve food to a guest who has food allergies.
Would that really be all that difficult?
Well, maybe I have one more blog left. One dedicated to tipping… and my take on it. I really hope to hear from some people in the industry about that one.
World (and Lunar) Domination 